busheeusii

[busheeusii]

A nap interrupted

I was rudely awoken by the sound of screaming. Haven’t they heard of making their guests comfortable in Skyrim? It seems the fire the dragon lit for me burned through most of the house and left me exposed to the chilly air. 

I got up and groggily made my way out the new door that the fire opened for me. Apparently my napping did little to contend with the threat of the dragon and I was forced to run again.

I sprinted down streets ablaze and around corners. I bravely ducked behind the blazing funeral pyre that was one of my captors and rushed for the door of the tower. Inside was a Stormcloak who called himself Ralof, I asked him to sound it out because I kept saying it wrong.

Ralof was mourning one of his comrades who succumbed to his injuries. As he wasn’t using his armor anymore, and I was awfully cold, I took it all. Now dressed as object of Ralof’s mourning I pressed him to move on and get us to safety.

Just then, two Imperial soldiers burst through a door and attacked us! Ralof rushed them and I rushed into the nearest corner to provide him with tips and tricks for combat.

When I was finished helping Ralof and the soldiers were dead I rushed in to gather up their armor. Ralof didn’t seem to truly appreciate what I had done for him. I donned the gathered Imperial armor and suggested to Ralof that we proceed as a facsimile of guard and prisoner but he must not have known was facsimile meant because he just glared at me threateningly.

I wanted to finish my nap but Ralof insisted that we continue to find a way out.

[busheeusii]

...I peed.

I’m not proud of it. It really could’ve happened to anyone. An uncomfortable wagon ride over miles of cobbled paths, anyone’s bladder would be ready to burst after sloshing around like that.

To give some background, the wagons came to a stop in a little town named Helgen. The gentlemen that drove ushered us all off the wagons and into a wide square before a tower. In the middle of the square stood a man carrying a fairly large executioner’s axe. It was then that I peed, the first time.

The men started reading names from a roll, when a name was called someone stepped forward and was lead to the executioner’s block and I’m sure you can imagine the rest.

THEY KILLED THEM! I peed for the second time. I’m not going to lie to you, I was quaking in my scales. I began to look for a way out. I couldn’t really do anything but look though. I was held by the men that brought us and my hands were tied and I really couldn’t form any coherent words or thoughts so I just started to make gurgling noises at them. This, combined with the dampness of my clothes did give them pause.

But they regained their composure quicker than I did and put me on the block. As I gurgled and looked to burly man with the large axe for some comfort A DRAGON CAME FROM THE SKIES! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? A REAL DRAGON! Like from the stories my Gramdandy told me! Oh I can’t wait to tell her!

I was so excited, I peed for the third and final time that day. The rest of the men were excited too! I don’t remember what they were yelling or running around for but they seemed to be too distracted to worry about what their urine-soaked friend was doing so I ran. I ran and ran and ran, for what felt like 40 feet, to the nearest house. The dragon must have lit a fire in the kitchen, bless him, and I could rest and dry off.

[busheeusii]

I grew up on stories of adventure and glory told to me by my dearest Gramdandy. Since I was a teeny-tiny Argonian hatching in the Black Marshes my Gramdandy would regale me with tales of far-off lands and their brave inhabitants.

My father must have been raised on these tales as well, because my only memory of Busheeus Sr was clutching to his tail as he crossed the threshold of our home on his way to glory!

My Gramdandy would read the letters he sent to us about delving into caves and camping under the stars. He once saw a dragon if you can believe it!

Last week I decided to start my trip far north to the province of Skyrim following in the webbed footprints of my brave father. Shortly after arriving I spotted a caravan of men looking very official and decided to hop aboard. They put up a fuss and bound my hands, but I think that was only because they were worried I might hurt myself if we went over any bumps.

We’ve been traveling  a few hours now and the man across from me keeps talking about being captured and taken prisoner, dreadful things really. I hope we stop soon though, I keep telling the driver that I really need to pee...