butchergamer - Tumblr blog

[butchergamer]

I can’t believe I am back I thought I sort it out nah last year was hell lot of shit happened to me and it’s still going on I want it all to end pls make it happen no one need me alive I not wanted so why am I alive then pls tell me or give me sign because I don’t won’t what to do with my life this probably not even make sense I am lost even more then ever I even try to kill my self  I been in living on my own for 4 months and I thought it would be amazing nope I was so wrong so lonely I want to pack up and move but I can’t there things that stopping me and if I got then shit happened there I live I am going to regret it for the rest of my life but if I stay it’s going to kill me it’s like I am stuck between living and dying I can’t believe I saying all of this so glad my friends don’t have this and they can’t see this I been trying to kill my self for 2 months now I thought I was this type of person wanted to kill them self like i could never thought about it but I was wrong last 3 year have change my completely I was a different person before then a better me then shit went down hill 

[butchergamer]

Every time I get my hope you they can crash what the time in trying when all I do a failed I cut out to be in this world

[butchergamer]

Love getting high so relaxing

[butchergamer]

Why do I feel like everything in the world hate me

[butchergamer]

I really don’t know what do to with my life I am stick between the middle half of me want to die and the other half want to life

[butchergamer]

I want to die there nothing here for me anymore there nothing keeping me here anymore

[butchergamer]

Well I go know one thing everyone is better off with out me in their life I only just ruin it for them like I lost lose of people because of my head still fuck up and the worse part about it it messing with my anger I fucking hate it

[butchergamer]

I manged to walk up here I have not been up here in a very long time last time I was here I did not know what really happened but ever since I found how u died I find it hard to bring my self to come up here the one brother I wish I meet one brother I never meet and miss so much by remembering u I got a tattoo of u name on my arm I love u bro I wish u was here by the side of me I can always feel u in my heart I just wish I could talk to u and see u just once time but I will one day we all miss u i know we we never meet but I send the pics of u it always make me upset so I am going to help raise money for cancer to help other people who got it for u bro I love u so much 

[butchergamer]

[butchergamer]

When this lockdown over I am going on holidays to amsterdam and I am going to get high as fuck

[butchergamer]

I just want to give up on everything

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[butchergamer]

well I know no one ain’t going to save me I am alone

[butchergamer]