bxriles

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[bxriles]

daisuke, wealwell, maxwell are like that wolf, chicken, grain problem where if you leave daisuke alone with wealwell he'll kill him, and if you leave wealwell alone with maxwell he'll kill him and you have to get them from one side of gath to the other but you can only fit two of them in your lifeboat at a time.

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ill never not be disgusted by rhysand reading that bill in front of the IC to the point of Feyre crying. like people make a joke out of that but it's just so HORRIBLE. what was the point of that. it was so *humiliating* for feyre. if rhysand actually cared about feyre he'd have never done something like that to her

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I’m glad there isn’t a Vanserra sister who’s just not like other girls

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one of the realest things nesta ever did was fantasize about having a threesome with cass and az

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(Neines) I have been enjoying your critique on sjm and I just wanted to ask: do you think unintentionally, the author lady has written the story of prythian to be stagnant? With the laser focus on wish fulfillment with rhysand (and using feyre as a voyeuristic lens), it basically stunts the rest of the cast of characters from developing past being props in the overall narrative. It's especially noticeable with how she treats the other hls and in universe criticism towards rhysand.

A story that refuses to acknowledge the flaws of its main characters will be doomed to remain stagnant. She is fixated on Rhysand, but can never bring herself to have him undergo an actual character arc or change throughout the series. Of course she can’t, because doing that would mean reflecting on some flaw he has, or a mistake he made…and we all know that Maas does not believe in such things. Further to this point, Rhysand then becomes incapable of having any appeal beyond his hyper masculine alpha persona. There are no extra quirks that make him truly stand on his own as a character. This is especially irritating when it’s clear that no character is allowed to criticize him. Even Nesta is twisted to praise Rhysand because Maas cannot conceive anyone having any genuine problems with him.

I think you’re exactly right. Maas’s lack of interest when it comes to scrutinizing the actions of her main characters (save for Nesta) prevents her story from progressing. Each character becomes yet another prop to embellish and support the true apple of her eye. This stagnation doesn’t allow for creativity or any additional exploration into the world she created. It keeps the reader trapped in Velaris in an eternal coffee shop AU with the occasional side quest that reminds you of the fantasy setting.

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the author's barely disguised longing for a kinder world

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They say "not all landlords are rich".

But if you suggest limiting how many rental properties a landlord can own, which would only affect rich landlords, they complain about that too.

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i think a really funny project that a statistics professor could have their class do is like. put a bunch of random, patently untrue demographic statements into a hat. "the most popular tv show among white men ages 24-27 is Bluey." "the majority of business majors are middle children." "bisexual women love hot chips." and each student picks one out of the hat and you gotta like. design a whole study and survey a group of people to specifically achieve that result. you have to prove it true. by whatever means necessary. you have to construct the most biased study possible and wrangle in your exact demographic to make that statement a statistical reality. i think people would learn a lot.

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Metatron to Castiel: Find a wife. Make babies.

Castiel:

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I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

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I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

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I hate this motherfucker the most. People in my family who should know better fell under the sway of this lying, psychotic monster. If you’ve ever loved anyone with any kind of disability, you are betraying them by looking up to this man and giving weight to anything he says.

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Never thought I’d say this but as I am re-reading ACOWAR,as someone who read TIG first, the writing is bad. Feyre internal monologue are exhausting. She keeps stating the obvious for example

Like damn we know.

It’s like saying by saying more. The same damn thing but being said differently. It has been since day one. The entire thought process in second round of amarantha games - I’ll pick two because that’s like two people me and Tamlin. OMGGG. Pick me vibes tbh.

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i know the idea of 'hear me out' type posts is weird non-conventional attraction but i also have a fascination for the people whos 'hear me outs' are conventionally attractive characters from the most OBSURE media. like if you were asked to name a sexy character and your first thought is the girl from a mostly forgotten 1980s canadian animated scifi musical im gonna be way more intrigued by whats going on in your brain than if you had said like. the dragon from shrek yknow.