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[byunhaarmy]

A Tsundere's Guide to Loving Puppies

Kim Seungmin x fem!Reader

Kim Seungmin realized a sad truth a long time ago.

That being, that you hated him.

♩one-shot, 90% angst, and the slightest of fluff, romance, hurt/comfort, crying, seungmin being miserable

♩♩word count: 3.4k

♩♩♩A/N: despite the cover being cute n shit, this is pretty much angst lmao

Ever since the first day you met him, you have been looking at him with disgust. Even now, four years later, you rarely look at him for more than two seconds, as if one more look at him would dirty your eyes. This made him feel incredibly frustrated as the invisible puppy ears on his head drooped.

He had thought that since you hated him that much, it would be better for him to just stay out of your sight. But you were their dance teacher, and he wasn't exactly the best dancer on the team, one of the few who needed extra help. So even if he wanted to stay away from you, he just couldn't.

"If only I were Minho Hyung." The poor puppy thought as he sat panting on the floor of the practice room after the class ended, sighing. "That way, Y/N Noona wouldn't have to be bothered with having to see a guy she doesn't like all the time."

Seungmin quietly turned around and pretended not to look at you, who was helping Jeongin adjust his movements at the time, and couldn't help but feel sour in his heart. When helping others, your tone was always extremely gentle and your movements were also light and easy. But when it was his turn, there was a sense of harshness. You never said anything other than "do it again" or "you should do it this way". And your hand never touched him, every time you accidentally did, your hand hurriedly withdrew as if it had been electrocuted, your face becoming stiff.

Was he really that annoying? So much so that you disliked him this much? He was confused.

But what he didn't understand even more was that, why he couldn't hate you even then? Why, even when he knows you hate him, he still can't help but come close to you and want to be near you? Why did a strong feeling of jealousy and envy rise in his heart when he saw your hand gently resting on Jeongin's shoulder, smiling and chatting with him right now?

Seungmin rubbed his sore legs from the long hours of constant practice with slight sadness. The new dance moves and alignment for this upcoming comeback were unprecedentedly complex, to a degree that even Danceracha couldn't help but marvel at. With the comeback date close at hand, excitement and nervousness filled each and every one of their hearts.

All the training had already made him exhausted, combined with the whole thing about you has been disturbing his heart, and now he felt like he had trouble even standing up. If he hadn't been forcing himself to endure his discomfort, he would have passed out long ago.

"Be careful!"

Just as Seungmin was about to pick up his backpack and get up to leave, he heard a sudden shout of alarm from you. He turned around instantly, thinking you were warning him. But when he turned around, he saw Jeongin and you holding each other in what appeared to him to be an extremely ambiguous position. Your hand was right on his waist and your eyes were full of worry. It was a gaze that you had never shown to Seungmin before. He immediately felt another hard stab to his heart.

"Didn't I tell you to be especially careful when doing this move? You see, if it's not done properly, you might fall or even sprain your foot."

You said after releasing Jeongin and scanning up and down to make sure he wasn't injured. Jeongin, who was about to lose his balance and fall if you hadn't held him, immediately started bowing and thanking you, stating that he would be more careful next time. The corners of your mouth rose slightly at his words, and you reached out to pet his head.

"That is all for today. Practicing too much will only put a burden on your body. Go back and rest early, we'll continue tomorrow."

"Ok! Thank you Noona! You should get some rest early too Noona!"

You nodded in agreement upon hearing his words. After leaning down to pick up your jacket and backpack on the ground, you waved to Jeongin one last time before turning your head in the direction of Seungmin, who was still sitting on the ground gasping for air, and gave a nod before walking away. No other words were said.

'It's just normal reaction and conversation', Seungmin reassured himself. He knew Jeongin was just a sweet student to you. In that situation, you would have reacted the same way no matter who it was. You didn't have any extra feelings for Jeongin at all. He knew all that.

But he still couldn't help but wonder. If he was the one who was about to fall down, would you have caught him? Would you have said those words of concern to him? Would you reach out to pet his head and tell him to get some rest?

Watching you as you left, he silently answered in his heart.

"Seungmin, you're acting out lately."

"Definitely not."

🐕 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🏃🏻‍♀️

Chan looked at Seungmin, sitting in front of him. He was holding a burger in his hand but hadn't taken a bite for five minutes. He waved his hand in front of him with some concern.

When Seungmin heard Chan's words, he raised his head to look at him and blinked dumbly before his vision finally started to focus.

He was thinking about what happened in the practice room last night again. Every time he thought about the way you looked at Jeongin, at others, and then compared them to how you looked at him, his heart felt like it was being pierced by a sharp needle.

But he knew he couldn't show it in front of Chan, couldn't show any difference. Because comeback was getting closer and closer, everyone was tired and mentally pushed to the brink of a state of breakdown. He couldn't let Chan worry about such a trivial matter at such a time. So he could only force a smile and pretend to be relaxed, shaking his head.

"You're hallucinating, Hyung. I'm fine."

Chan raised his eyebrows semi-convinced.

"Then why aren't you eating? You have to tell me if you have something on your mind."

"I'm really fine, Hyung, I just don't have an appetite." Seungmin replied immediately.

"You should eat, otherwise you won't have the energy for dance practice."

He thought he could get away with it, but when Chan mentioned "dance practice", the sudden contraction of his pupils betrayed him.

"Huh… You do have something on your mind, don't you? Is it about the dance?" Chan tried to meet Seungmin's eyes, but he avoided them again and again. "It's not about the dance? Then… Could it be, about Y/N?"

Hearing your name, Seungmin's hand trembled and the burger slipped out of his hand and fell on the table. He hurriedly lowered his head and picked up the burger again in a panic, his face pale, still not daring to look Chan in the eyes.

"I guess I'm right then? It's about Y/N? Did something happen between you guys?"

Seungmin opened his mouth, but nothing came out. So, he just asked, "Hyung, what makes you think… It's about Y/N Noona?"

Hearing such a cute question, Chan couldn't help but smile, "Isn't our mongmong in love with her?"

Seungmin instantly felt his face turn red and wanted to deny it, but knew that there was no point in doing that.

But admitting it would only make him look even more pathetic. After all, everyone knew you hated him, it was no secret. So he kept silent.

Perhaps for a moment, Seungmin believed Chan's words.

"I know roughly what's going through your mind right now, Seungmin. All I'm going to say to you, though, is that you're wrong."

🐕 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🏃🏻‍♀️

Seungmin had been feeling a little dizzy since morning, but after taking his temperature, he found that he didn't have a fever.

But just a few days later, he experienced once again just how much you really hated him.

🐕 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🏃🏻‍♀️

'Maybe I'm just too tired lately,' he thought, and continued his day without caring too much.

But the dizziness didn't get better by the afternoon, and after a few hours of vocal lessons, he was already feeling a bit woozy. His body screamed for rest, and his eyes slowly began to blur. But the thought of 'not delaying everyone's progress, not holding everyone back' kept him going.

Seungmin, who came to the practice room 20 minutes earlier, found that there was no one in the room, not even you.

While he was a little disappointed, he was also relieved. At least he didn't have to force you to spend time alone with him.

After taking off his jacket and dropping his backpack, Seungmin leaned in front of the mirror and closed his eyes. He frowned and rubbed his temples, trying to relieve the pain, but the pain did not lessen, and instead intensified. He was so occupied with the pain that he didn't even realize the sound of your footsteps walking into the practice room.

As soon as you entered the room, you found Seungmin sitting in the corner, thinking that you would pretend not to care about him as usual, until you heard a soft whimper while you were adjusting the sound equipment. You were drawn to this sound, and you walked towards Seungmin with a serious look on your face and crouched down in front of him.

"Seungmin-sshi? Kim Seungmin-sshi?" You gently shook his shoulder and tried to wake him up.

Seungmin heard your voice and opened his eyes in a daze, staring straight at you with his puppy dog eyes.

That look made your heart twitch fiercely. Then, you hastily let go of the hand that shook his shoulder and hid the worry in your eyes.

"Are you… Are you okay?"

Seungmin jerked, realizing what kind of situation he was in and hurriedly struggled to sit up straight. His face was flushed, not knowing whether it was because he was sick or shy. He lowered his head and stuttered in reply, "No, I'm fine."

The answer came to you, and although you were still a little worried, you were too embarrassed to say anything else. After a few seconds of hesitation, you said something like, "Then get up and get ready for practice.

As the members came in one by one, practice started as well. You seemed to have forgotten all about what just happened with Seungmin. At least that's what he thought.

Seungmin was holding his head and was feeling a bit frustrated. He must have given you trouble, he thought.

🐕 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🏃🏻‍♀️

"Pay attention to the following steps and be sure to be careful not to fall."

In the middle of the song, you thoughtfully reminded the members. But your eyes were locked on only one person.

Seungmin thought he would make it through tonight's practice, after all, he only had a headache. But he seemed to have overestimated himself. Just by the second time, he had already started to make mistakes, and with increasing frequency. The sound of music faded in his ears and was replaced by his own heavy panting and constant ringing in his ears.

He didn't even hear your reminder, too focused on how he was going to make it to the end of dance practice.

However, just the next second, a stab of pain came from his ankle. With a cry of pain, he fell to the ground.

"Seungmin!"

There were shouts of alarm from the members all around him, but his vision went black and he couldn't see anything.

"Ha… Ha…… I, I'm fine, I just-" "What's wrong with you?!"

Just as he was about to wave his hand and pretend he was fine, your voice with anger rang out. This rebuke from you made Seungmin freeze in place.

"Didn't I tell you to pay attention?! How many times have I reminded you! Why can't you just listen! Why-"

"Y/N, calm down, Seungmin is…" Chan held your shoulders and tried to calm you down.

But somehow, something stimulated your nerves, and you simply couldn't calm down when you saw Seungmin's injured state.

"Are you an idiot? Don't you know how to listen at all? Didn't Jeongin almost fall down just a couple of days ago? Weren't you right next to him at that time? Why didn't-"

The members next to him were stunned. None of them had ever seen you as angry as you were right now. They made similar mistakes, but you would always patiently point them out and then tell them to just pay attention next time. You have never been so furious as you were now, accusing a person of making a mistake in dance. No one even dared to interrupt you.

You were going to continue, but just as you were organizing your words, Seungmin, who was sitting on the floor, suddenly started sobbing.

This made your heart stop and all the words you had organized were forgotten, only panic remained.

Changbin immediately tried to go up and calm him down, but just as he was about to go up, Chan grabbed his arm, Changbin looked back and saw Chan shake his head and mouthed, "Let's leave them alone for now."

You have never seen Seungmin cry before, you didn't know he could cry so heartbreakingly. His hands were covering his mouth, trying desperately not to let loose, his body trembling involuntarily, his shoulders shrugging, as if he might fall down at any moment.

The other members were then taken out of the practice room by Chan and Changbin, leaving only a panicked you and a crying Seungmin.

🐕 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🏃🏻‍♀️

Seeing him like this, your heart felt like it was being squeezed by an invisible hand, and it hurt so much that you wished to hold him in your arms right now.

You regretted it the second you shouted out those words. He looked like he was obviously in a bad state earlier. It was understandable that he would make a mistake. In fact, if it was any other member, you would have been concerned with their injury first and let them know with a smile that it was okay. But when it came to Seungmin, you just couldn't be that calm.

The second he fell down, it was as if all your rationality was thrown out of the window.

But just when you thought your heart was completely broken, he spoke up.

"Why… why do you hate me so much?"

"Why is it just me?"

"Jeongin m-made the same mistake before… but you weren't mad at him… so, so why me? why are you only mad at me?"

"I- I've tried so hard to, to make you not have to waste time on me…"

"But, I'm just not Minho Hyung, or Hyunjin, or Felix… I just can't dace like them… no matter how hard I try……"

"I, I just can't seem to, make you satisfied…… I've, I've tried so hard to make you like me…"

"But, but you, you never smile at me like you smile at other members, you never look at me with the same eyes, you never praise me, you never, you never even talk to me, or… or even acknowledge my existence… you act like, like I don't exist at all……"

"Why, why do you hate me so much?"

"I just don't understand……"

Seungmin would never be one to cry over something like this normally. But perhaps it was due to the build-up of stress and fatigue for too long that he finally couldn't hold it in. He spoke in a broken voice, wiping his tears messily, his eyes already red and swollen.

You felt your own tears welling up when you saw him crying.

Seungmin has always been the quietly hardworking, strong and confident one among the 8 boys in your mind. He has always been the carefree puppy in the eyes of others, smiling all the time even without concern. He was the one who was fine without your help, the one who would silently observe when you were helping other members and take notes of knowledge and skills. Even without sweet words, a gentle smile and constant encouragement, he was okay. He has always been this way in your mind, never showing sadness or vulnerability in front of you. But in this moment, he was crying, crying because of your words.

Because he thought you hated him. He has no idea how wrong he was.

It was precisely because you were so fond of him that you always avoided him like this. Because if you stayed away from him, you would not always have to have your heart racing and falling even deeper in love. If you didn't look at him, didn't talk to him, didn't touch him as much as possible, you wouldn't be affected by his emotions and wouldn't have any abnormal behavior.

But you didn't expect that such an approach not only failed to make your love for him less, but it hurt him.

Let him cry in front of you with such sadness.

"Seungmin…"

You reached out your hand and gently pulled his sweat-soaked bangs behind his ears and tenderly wiped the tear marks from his face.

When you touched him, Seungmin flinched subconsciously. This subtle action made you frown slightly, and your hand tentatively held his own, and after he did not resist, you took his hand off his eyes.

"I just, I said something very out of line."

"I'm sorry… Seeing you hurt, I suddenly didn't know what to do."

" I wasn't really blaming you, nor was I angry with you, I just… I just blame myself for not noticing that something was wrong with you in advance."

"I… I don't hate you, Seungmin."

"I don't know how to tell you, how to make you believe me."

"I know, too, that my previous behavior would be considered reasonable in your eyes as hating you."

"But, I really don't hate you at all, Seungmin."

"I'm not a person who expresses their feelings because I don't like to have weaknesses. Admitting my feelings to myself is like admitting that I'm not the perfect, indestructible person. That's why I always like to push the most important, the people I like the most, away from me."

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Seungmin…?"

You were saying that he was your most important, favorite person.

Seungmin's heart pounded violently as his cheeks turned bright red. But this time it wasn't because of the high fever, it seemed.

His hand that you held reversed your grip, his eyes were shining brightly due to the tears he had shed. But it wasn't just tears, it seemed.

"Noona… You don't hate me?"

You shook your head.

"No, I don't hate you, not at all."

"Then… Does Noona like me then?"

You froze for a moment, then smiled.

You thought Seungmin was already like a puppy when he was around other people.

"I like you the most."

🐕 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🏃🏻‍♀️

But after you started dating, you realized that he was at his most normal when he was with others.

At the end of another day of training, everyone shouted that they were hot and ran for drinks and coffee, but your puppy did not. Cheerful and smiling, he ran to your side and looked at you with bright eyes as if he was asking for something.

"Noona, now that they're all gone, there's no reason for you to turn me down anymore."

You looked at the sweaty, still panting puppy in front of you and smiled.

"There's really nothing I can do hmmh?"

Hearing your answer, the invisible tail behind him began to wag as he moved a lot closer in your direction. He took your hands and held them in his own. Then slowly closed his eyes.

You leaned your body forward and left a soft kiss on his forehead.

Since you felt uncomfortable acting affectionately in front of others, and since you and Seungmin usually only see each other during dance practice, he had to use the intermission and the few minutes after practice to spend as much time as possible alone with you.

But despite that, he was content.

"Heh heh heh…" Having received the long-awaited kiss, Seungmin opened his eyes and grinned happily, revealing his braces.

"You're smiling like an idiot." You said without hesitation.

But he seemed as if he was happier, shaking your hand and squinting his eyes.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Because I know that means 'I love you'."

permanent taglist: @zoe8stay @yutaalove @seungly @chewryy @cosmic-railwayxo @starlostseungmin

[byunhaarmy]

FUCK

𝟚𝟜 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤 𝔸𝕗𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝔻𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙 (𝕃𝕖𝕖 𝔽𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕩)

♩ gn!reader, ANGST, mention of cancer/terminal disease (not specific), death, tears and crying, don't read if you're not comfortable

♩♩ word count: 4.2k (omg I'm so sorry)

♩♩♩ A/N: I have no words... I'm sorry

Chan and Minho, Changbin and Hyunjin, Jisung

11:59 PM.

"Can you sing that song for me…one last time?"

You asked, despite the fact that your eyelids were so heavy they could barely stay open, despite feeling like all the strength in your body had been drained from you, you managed to ask.

Felix had been crying until he couldn't breathe, feeling nothing but despair.

But when he heard your words, he still nodded vigorously.

He knew this was perhaps the last time you would hear the song.

"You are my sunshine…"

"My only sunshine……"

Felix's tears dripped down your face.

You paused for a moment and raised your eyes to see the heartbreaking look on his face.

If it were any other day, you would lift your finger to wipe away his tears and tell him not to cry.

But you simply didn't have the strength now.

Just keeping your eyes open took all your strength.

"You make me happy, when skies are grey…"

"You'll never know, dear…how much I love you……"

Your own eyes grew watery as tears flowed down from the corners of your eyes.

His voice was still as beautiful as the first time you heard it.

It has the power to make you experience the magic of falling in love all over again.

However, at this moment, the lyrics of the song did not make you feel as happy as it once did.

You only felt endless sadness and fear.

You knew you would never hear him sing again, never see his smile again.

Just the thought of this made you reluctant to face the fact that you were leaving.

Felix held your hand tightly, trying hard to pass on the warmth from his own body to yours.

But no matter how hard he tried, your body heat drained away little by little.

"Please don't take..."

"......"

But before he could finish the last line of the song, the monitor interrupted with a piercing sound.

A symbol of your life coming to an end.

Felix lowered his head and left one last kiss on your forehead.

"Please don't take my sunshine away..."

Still he braced himself to sing the last line of your favorite song.

Did you hear it?

Y/N, the love of my life, did you hear me?

If you did, open your eyes and look at me...

......

............

..................

Y/N?

12:01 AM.

He wouldn't let go of your body, wouldn't leave the room.

As if you wouldn't leave if he stayed by your side.

Not only the doctors, but also his members came to persuade him.

They all knew that today would be your last.

There would be no more "Y/N" in this world after today.

It was as if the world had accepted your death and that you would one day leave them from long ago.

Felix thought he had accepted it a long time ago.

But when it really came down to it, he realized - he simply wasn't ready.

Neither the fact that you left, nor the days after without you.

He wasn't ready for either.

12:30 AM.

You met three years ago, when Felix visited the hospital to receive treatment for his back injury.

It was a beautiful day, but Felix was not in a good mood.

He didn't get to perform on stage with his members, which was the worst thing that could have happened to him.

After getting his medicine, Felix was about to leave, but just as he was passing the courtyard, a voice came from afar.

"You are my sunshine…. my only sunshine."

It was a voice that instantly caught Felix's attention.

He was not a person who liked to crowd, but his steps were halted.

He suddenly wondered who the owner of the voice was.

It was there, in the hospital courtyard, on a breezy day, when he first met you.

You were sitting on a bench in the courtyard, surrounded by a group of children, singing that song with them.

Your smile and voice, the gentle way you looked at the children, the laughter of those children, the heartwarming scene.

Everything about it made his heart pound.

By the time he came back to his senses, he had joined you.

Singing the song together with you.

"You make me happy, when skies are grey…"

Just like the lyrics sang, your song cleared up his otherwise gloomy mood.

"You have a nice voice."

You said to him after the song was over.

You spoke in the same soft tone.

"You… you do too……"

He didn't know what to say, and for a moment it was as if the whole world was just left with the two of you.

"What's your name?" You asked.

You didn't know about Stray Kids, which relieved him slightly.

"Felix, Lee Felix."

Your smile brightened a bit more.

"I'm Y/N."

1:00 AM.

Felix went quiet once he got out of the hospital.

All the way from the hospital to the parking lot, he stared at the sights and memories of everything that had happened between the two of you.

The patient room, the courtyard, the pathway, the interlocked fingers, the nervous trembling, your smile as always, your song, everything…everything between the two of you ……

"It's like a long…long …… long dream. A beautiful yet sad dream, full of the sweetness of love and the pain of parting ……"

Now that the dream was over, it was time for him to face reality.

Everything in the hospital, about you was to be left behind.

Tears quietly slipped from the corners of his eyes again.

He wondered if he would ever wake up again.

2:30 AM.

Back in the dormitory, Felix laid down on the cold bed.

The members were concerned about him, but he wished to be by himself for a while.

You didn't have an apartment together, you never spent any time together outside of the hospital.

You weren't even properly regarded as his lover.

It was as if you were merely a passing visitor to his life, stopping by just for a brief moment.

He didn't even know where your home was.

Come to think, he didn't know anything about you.

Three years, and he only knew the most superficial things.

Maybe you were deliberately hiding them from him, just like you were hiding your illness from him.

Because you didn't want him to have too much connection with you, too much involvement.

But in the end, it turned out the way it did.

And who could be blamed?

When two people fall in love, nothing can ever stop them.

3:00 AM.

In his dream, he saw both you and him from three years ago.

The second time you met after your first encounter.

It was a week after, and he was visiting the hospital again to get his medication replaced.

He originally thought that meeting you was just a coincidence, something that would only happen once.

But he saw you again, still in the courtyard, this time singing to a group of elderly people.

Meeting him again, you were still smiling at him.

You seemed to recognize him and waved to him at the end of your song.

He didn't care about anything else as he went straight in your direction.

"Y/N… I didn't expect to meet you again ……"

You didn't seem to expect him to come straight in your direction, froze for a moment, but only for a moment.

You didn't exchange more than a few words between you, as he was called away just a few minutes later.

But it was because of this second encounter that he began to look forward to his weekly trips to the hospital.

Then the third, fourth, and fifth time, every week, at the same time, in the same courtyard, you were always there.

Felix watched each passing scene as if he were watching a merry-go-round.

At that time, you were still able to stand on your own.

At that time, you still had the energy to sing.

But at that time, you had no hope for the future ……

Perhaps it was better for you to have no hope.

"Y/N, why are you always in the hospital?"

Three months later, Felix's back had gotten better and he no longer had to come to the hospital every week, but he still rushed to the hospital courtyard at the same time every week just to talk to you.

You looked at him, narrowed your eyes and smiled.

"Because I'm sick."

You said it as if it was something easy.

But that smile did not seem to come from your heart.

Later he learned that you had spent almost your whole life in the hospital.

5:00 AM.

Felix was suddenly awakened by an alarm clock.

Your face faded from his dream.

He blinked and reached for his nightstand.

It was 5:00 AM, time for your medication.

"Y/N… It's time to take your medicine……"

……

Right, you didn't have to take your medicine anymore.

Deleting the alarm, he sat frozen on his bed.

The dorm had fallen completely silent.

There was not a single sound.

He hugged his legs tightly.

He recalled this time yesterday.

At five o'clock in the morning yesterday, he received a notice of your condition.

You had little family and no friends other than the elderly and children in the hospital.

Felix was your emergency notifier.

He knew you weren't going to make it, and he knew your last day was coming soon.

But for some reason, he just kept having a glimmer of hope.

Maybe you could stay with him a little longer.

Maybe he could spend more time with you.

He started crying again.

6:30 AM.

There was nothing crueler for lovers than watching each other die slowly.

After Felix accidentally learned of your illness, every day after that was filled with tears.

He didn't know and couldn't imagine how much pain you must have felt.

Put on a smile and sing for everyone every day, even with all the pain.

Even when you couldn't stand up on your own, you asked Felix to push you in your wheelchair and take you downstairs to the courtyard with him.

You always said you lived a meaningless life.

"God is really cruel, to bring me into this world incomplete without my consent. And now to send me away……"

Whenever Felix heard you say this, his heart ached to the core.

You were always helping others and bringing smiles to their faces.

But then, who was there to save you?

You always told him that he was the angel sent from heaven to save you.

But Felix always has tears in the corners of his eyes.

He believed he couldn't do anything.

He couldn't bring a smile to your face.

Couldn't share your pain.

Couldn't stop your health from deteriorating.

Couldn't stop you from dying.

He wasn't the angel sent from heaven to save you.

He was just an ordinary boy who fell in love with you.

7:45 AM.

A new day began, which was the only relief for Felix.

Minho brought him breakfast and gently stroked his hair, giving him a sense of comfort.

He opened his mouth to say something, but seeing his younger brother like this, he couldn't bring himself to say anything in the end.

He just held his wrist tightly and told him "we are all here for you".

9:00 AM.

Chan came to visit him and brought him his favorite sweets.

Felix looked at Chan, who was like a real brother, saw how Chan didn't sleep well from worrying about him, and threw himself into his arms and cried.

None of the other members knew you, other than your name being Y/N, they knew nothing about you, or the relationship between you and Felix.

Chan just knew that Felix started enjoying his trips to the hospital, and always had a happy smile on his face when he came back.

"Tell me about Y/N."

Felix's head lifted, his eyes still red as he looked at Chan, pupils quivering, hands clenching his shirt.

"I didn't even know at first…that they were so severely ill."

10:00 AM.

You were always smiling, no matter how much it hurt, all the time.

That was something Felix couldn't do in any way.

Especially now.

He always watched you, watched you burn yourself like a match, lighting up others, eventually burning to ashes and leaving the world with nothing left behind.

How could you, who loved to laugh, who was so gentle and kind, suffer from such sickness?

The day he found out about your illness, Felix was planning to confess his love for you.

It was the third month, in autumn.

The leaves in the courtyard began to wither and fall, making crisp, dry sounds when stepped on underfoot.

His back has almost healed up, meaning he wouldn't need to come to the hospital anymore.

But he didn't want to say farewell to you.

He decided to wager everything to confess his love for you.

He knew you were always out and about in the hospital.

He knew you were always wearing a patient's uniform, he knew you were sick.

But he didn't expect it to be such an illness.

He didn't think you would have less than three years left.

11:00 AM.

He didn't want to recall that day.

But now, all memories of you have become his most cherished.

Even that day too.

He remembered blushing as he wrote his phone number on a slip of paper and stood behind the big tree in the courtyard with trembling hands.

He remembered a breeze blowing, and he remembered thinking that now was the perfect time.

He remembered hearing a voice at the moment he was about to step outside.

He remembered what the man said.

"Y/N, as I told you before, you only have three years left in the fullness of time now. Do you want to shorten that already short period of time? What you need now is to recuperate and stop blowing in the cold. Come back to your room with me, it's time for a checkup."

He remembered the sound of his heart stopping.

Remembered that he had never been so painfully distraught.

The paper was clutched in his hands and whisked away like crumbs.

He remembered the next time you saw him and could tell at a glance that something was wrong about him.

"You know, don't you."

He simply couldn't stop the trembling in his legs and couldn't organize any words at all.

"Don't feel bad, Felix. Don't feel bad for me."

"Life is short, but I think I'm doing something meaningful now."

"I don't fear death."

"I'm happy enough."

He knew you were lying.

For the first time, he realized that your smile too had a fake side.

11:30 AM.

"They sound like a very strong person."

Chan was too shocked to even attempt to comfort Felix, who had been through such terrible times.

Felix shook his head fiercely.

"No, Chan hyung, Y/N is not a strong person."

You were just an ordinary person, you can get scared, you can get nervous, you can get overwhelmed, you can get sad, you cry, you fear death, you don't want to leave this world, you don't want to make your beloved ones hurt and sad but you can't do anything about it, you feel helpless, you cry secretly where no one knows, you want to show your best side to others, hiding the side you don't, the vulnerable side, you……

You were just an ordinary human being.

12:30 PM.

Felix received a call from the hospital that your funeral was coming up.

Usually funerals took more time to prepare, but since you knew you were going to die, everything was already prepared.

Felix has been afraid to get involved in those things, he didn't want to face the fact that you would leave him in the near future.

And when the day came, he was still afraid to face it.

"We'll be there for you, don't be afraid."

All eight hugged together, providing Felix with the reassurance and courage he needed most.

The courage to attend your funeral.

1:00 PM.

There were not many people at your funeral. Besides the eight of them, there were only the people you used to sing for and a few doctors you knew.

Your parents didn't come.

Felix just stood there, not knowing what to do.

He stared at the tombstone not far away, and your picture on it.

Just when he felt his legs losing their strength to hold him up, he suddenly felt something grab him by the leg of his pants.

He looked down and saw a familiar face.

It was a child who was often seen around you.

A little boy with leukemia.

"When is Y/N going to wake up?"

He asked in an innocent voice.

Felix's tears instantly started to flow again. He didn't know how to answer the boy, didn't know how to tell him that his favorite Y/N would never wake up again.

1:30 PM.

The children gathered together, took his hand and stood in front of your tombstone.

They muttered something between them, then the leader of the group looked up into Felix's misty eyes.

"Hyung, let's sing for Y/N together!"

"If we sing together, maybe Y/N will wake up and sing with us!"

"Hyung, Y/N said their favorite person is you! If you sing along, they will definitely wake up!"

"Yes, yes, Y/N also told me that they like Felix the most!"

"Felix hyung, why are you crying?"

1:55 PM.

"You're Y/N's boyfriend, right?"

A paramedic called out to Felix as he was about to leave with the members.

He turned back and was about to shake his head in denial, but suddenly a thought surfaced.

This might be the only time he could ever call himself your boyfriend.

So, he nodded.

"That's great."

The paramedic smiled reassuringly.

"Y/N said to give these to their boyfriend, but when I asked around, everyone told me Y/N didn't have a boyfriend… I thought this was just another Y/N joke."

Felix's eyes widened.

Then with trembling hands, he took them.

Wrapped on the outside was one of his shirts, one that he had lent you because you said it smelled like him.

Now, no longer did it smell like him.

What remained on it was the smell of the pungent sanitizer from the hospital room.

And, lightly, the smell of you.

"Thanks…… I'll, I'll keep it safe……"

2:30 PM.

It wasn't really that heavy of a package, but Felix felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.

When he returned to the dorm, he sat back on his bed weakly, then carefully opened the clothes.

Inside, there was the candy you love, a nachimbong that Felix gave you, and a camera.

Upon closer inspection, it was a video camera.

His heart skipped a beat.

He knew this camera.

Since some unknown time, every time he came to visit you in the hospital, there was this camera by your bedside.

But every time he asked what you had filmed and said he wanted to see what was in it, you refused.

"It's not time yet."

Were the words you would say every time.

Now he knew what that meant.

"What year is it again… I forget, but it's a beautiful day."

"This is the first video I'm going to record for you, can you hear me?"

"Hmmm… I didn't know what to say though I said it was going to be a video for you."

"Originally, I wanted to record my mood every day, and then in passing, tell you what I wanted to say to you but didn't dare to in front of you…… But, won't that be boring?"

"Forget it, I'll just go with my heart."

"Once again, Felix, hello, by the time you see this video, I should have…"

"Looks like I'm really not cut out for this kind of thing …… How do you guys manage to talk comfortably in front of cameras, huh?"

"Well …… I'll just pretend like, right now, I'm talking to you."

"Felix… Today you asked me if I was afraid of death, and I told you no."

"That was actually a lie. I am so scared."

"I'm afraid that one day after I fall asleep, I'll never wake up again."

"Leaving this world alone, without any trace, as if I had never been here at all."

"Before I met you, I was not afraid. I really wasn't afraid."

"Because there was never any hope, there was no fear of loss."

"But, since I met you… For the first time, I wanted to live."

"I wanted to see the sun every day, to share myself with you like this… I wanted… I want to heal, to be a normal person, to love you like a normal person."

"But I can't tell you, I can't look you in the eye and say these foolish words."

"I could only tell you that I wasn't afraid, that I was relieved of the world and had no more attachment…"

"I'm sorry….Felix, for not telling you the truth……"

"I'm sorry……"

"Today is the twentieth day of recording, and I don't seem to be nervous anymore, is this how you guys came little by little too?"

"When we were singing today, I realized for the first time that the lyrics of the song were actually saddening."

"When you were singing the song to me, it was like I saw for the first time in your eyes feelings that were not happy."

"I've recently started having a bit of trouble standing up, and just walking a few

exhausts my whole body… Am I about to die?"

"If you were by my side right now, you'd probably tell me not to say things like that again, right?"

"But, whether we want to admit it or not, we're still getting closer to the end."

"I don't know if letting you accept this in advance will make it possible for you to have fewer tears at the end…"

"But no matter what I do, I always feel like I'm being selfish……"

"How can someone like me, who doesn't know when I'll never wake up again, occupy you?"

"…… But you have many, many more lives after me."

"And I will perhaps have only you in this life."

"So, it shouldn't be too bad to let me be a little selfish, right?"

"I just want to… In the last few days…… Be able to experience the feelings of a normal person……"

"…… But, do you even love me? Do you really love me, or do you pity me? Are you only staying by my side because you pity me?"

"Today is the 60th day of recording! It's your birthday…"

"Happy birthday…… I hope that this is not the last birthday I will spend with you."

"Today is the eighty-eighth day of recording ……"

"Felix… Do you think, I am still able to see the arrival of next spring?"

"Today is, the hundredth day of recording."

"I never thought I could actually reach this number…… It's a miracle, right?"

"Today, I pretended I was asleep……"

"Or maybe, it's because, I simply couldn't lift my eyelids anymore?"

"I heard you say to me that you love me……"

"Do you know how much strength it took for me not to cry out?"

"I love you back, I love you so much."

"I don't want to die……"

"I love you……."

"One hundred and third day."

"One hundred and twentieth day."

"One hundred and thirtieth day."

"One hundred and thirty-eighth day."

"……"

"Today is the one hundred and thirty-ninth day of recording."

"This sounds weird, but…… It's like I, like, know that today is the last day."

"I still have, so, so many, so many things I want to say to you……"

"I may not ever, ever get the chance to say them again."

"I thought my body wouldn't hurt anymore……"

"But, every time I think that I will leave you soon……"

"My heart, it still hurts to an unbearable degree."

"If you can, before I go……"

"I'd like, just one last time, to hear you sing our song again."

"But I may, after I fall asleep tonight, never wake up."

"Felix……"

" I haven't even left yet, but I'm already missing you."

12:00 AM.

Nearly nine hours of video, and yet Felix watched it all in one sitting.

He thought his tears had dried up long ago.

But when he watched you say things like "I don't want to die", "I love you" and "it hurts" in the video, he could only feel his heart being torn apart.

He wanted to reach out and touch your cheek, wanted to embrace the you in the video and tell you how much he loves you.

How much he wanted to sing your song again.

Why couldn't he be smarter? Why couldn't he see through your mind…

Why couldn't he stop you from thinking like that? Why couldn't he make you happy?

Why couldn't he do anything……

He just wanted to love you like a normal person……

Why couldn't he even do that……

Why did he feel like his heart just died with you?

[byunhaarmy]

She Doesn't Know

Kim Seungmin x fem!Reader

She doesn't know you like I do...but that doesn't matter, does it?

♩drabble, angst, no specific-au, seungmin getting drunk and crying, hella unrequited love, pure sadness tbh

♩♩word count: 1.1k

♩♩♩A/N: inspired by my dear sunny and this song actually

I don't know why this song suddenly came to mind when I saw your request. So I (tried) to incorporate the lyrics… But since the original song is in Chinese, the translation might be a bit weird

(G/N= the other girl's name)

When Kim Seungmin called you, you admitted that there was a glimmer of hope in your heart.

"G/N ……"

Only that glimmer of hope was completely extinguished only a second later.

"Seungmin?"

"Why don't you love me back?"

It was loud in the background on his end, like he was in a bar. Even though you were called by him by that woman's name, you were more concerned with his well-being than your heartache at the moment.

"Seungmin, where are you?"

"Where have I not done enough? Why don't you love me back? Why? Why? Why?"

You heard yourself in his words.

You and Seungmin were both pathetic in the same way. Both fell in love with people who didn't love you back.

But you stubbornly believed that you were different. Because the person he fell in love with wasn't worth it.

"It's you…… You've come to see me in the end…… Surely you still care about me, you do love me, no?"

That person, she didn't understand him at all, but he was so head over heels in love with her, still loving her after all these years. And you, too, kept watching him. Watching him hurt and cry over and over again for that girl, getting drunk in bars like he did today, until he passed out at three in the morning, unable to hold himself together.

It was you who finally took him back home to look after him.

That girl never once worried for him.

Tonight he had been drinking for who knows how long and how much, so much that he confused you for her. He tenderly cupped your face and looked at you with a look of love that he had never had for you before.

He spoke sweet words of love to you, repeating "I love you" over and over again, line after line, each stabbing you in the heart like a dagger. Because you knew those words were not for you, they were for her. All that you had now, all that you were able to enjoy, belonged to her.

You fell silent, not knowing how to answer him. Should you say "yes"? As her? No, that would only make him more upset when he learns the truth. Should you tell him who you are? But, although none of those sweet words belonged to you, you still enjoyed them, you were willing to lie to yourself and tell yourself that in this moment, you were her, and that Seungmin loved you. Was it a bad decision? Was it a selfish one? You did not know. All you knew was that this was perhaps the only time you would ever hear those words coming from him.

Just for tonight, just for now, you'd pretend to be her.

With just such a simple statement, Seungmin's eyes shone with a light you had never seen before. Just because she didn't blame him. Just because the words sounded kind of gentle.

"Why aren't you saying anything? Did I do something wrong? I can fix it, don't not talk to me…"

Seungmin, whom you held dear as a cherished gem, begged another person in such a lowly manner.

"You didn't do anything wrong…" You couldn't help but say in her position.

You didn't even know if Seungmin, who was facing the woman in such a lowly manner at this moment, was doing so because he was drunk or because he usually spoke to her in such a tone.

You felt defensive for him. Why should that girl be able to treat him like that? Why must that girl keep hurting him like that? All she ever left Seungmin with was her back. She never said anything to Seungmin, not even a single "I love you". She only made Seungmin cry alone at night, his eyes red with tears, clutching the fabric on his chest so hard that he could hardly breathe. She only lied and cheated Seungmin over and over again.

Your Seungmin had been a smart one, but it seemed like he couldn't see through that girl at all, getting fooled by her again and again. You even suspected that he might have known he was being cheated on, and he might have loved her nevertheless despite knowing he was being cheated on. She clearly treated love like a game, she clearly didn't love Seungmin at all. She doesn't know anything about Seungmin.

She doesn't know his birthday, his favorite colour, his favorite music. She doesn't know what he likes and doesn't like to eat. She doesn't know what he likes to do in his downtime, what kind of movies he likes to watch. She doesn't know where his favorite restaurant is, what his favorite brand of clothes is, what size shoes he wears, she doesn't know anything.

But who cared if she didn't know? What difference did it make if you knew? Even when she didn't know anything about him. Even if you knew every detail of Seungmin's life, she's the one Seungmin loves. Not you, her.

"But if I didn't do anything wrong, why don't you love me?"

You let him lie in your bed, tenderly stroking his head, wiping away his tears with your fingers, letting him cling helplessly to your arms and not letting you go. The same words repeated over and over again.

Yes, Seungmin, why?

Why couldn't you walk into his heart when you were the person who knew him best?

Red cheeks and foggy eyes from alcohol, messy bangs and eyes wet from crying. Dry, chapped lips and a trembling body. Praying eyes looking at you, wanting you to give him an answer.

"Why don't you love me?"

"Why don't you love me?"

"But I love you so much……"

"Tell me that you love me, please, tell me that I am important to you…… Lie or not, please just tell me……"

You couldn't tell him. At least not as that girl.

"Sleep, Seungmin, everything will be fine when you wake up…" And so you simply left a light kiss on his forehead, then turned around, attempting to leave.

He held out his hand to keep you from leaving, crying out the other girl's name, constantly reminding you that it wasn't you he wanted to keep at all, but her.

The sound of his heartbroken voice, the sound of pain, made you hurt too, your chest aching to the point that you were suffocating. But you left anyway. Closing the door, leaving him alone in your room, crying hopelessly.

The words still repeated under his breath.

Why?

"Why don't you understand?"

"Why don't you understand how much you mean to me?"

"Why can't you just see me?"

[byunhaarmy]

Lonesome Nights (Part Three)

Lee Minho x fem!Reader, slight Hwang Hyunjin x fem!Reader

♩angst to smut (?) to fluff, arranged marriage au, non-idol au, romance, oral (female receiving), handjob (male receiving), no penetrative sex, hair pulling (male receiving), kinda sorta dom!reader but not really, emotion overflow, a lot of crying, minho has Ombrophobia and Astraphobia (fear of rain and thunder)

♩♩ word count: 15.1k (oh my god)

♩♩♩ A/N: oh dear I suck at writing smut but trust me when I say I tried qaq

read part two here

The weather has been muggy since you woke up today. It felt like it was going to rain. And Minho has been acting a bit weird since the moment he got up. First of all, he didn't wake you up when he did, but got up alone and went directly to the bathroom. You woke up while he was in the shower. You felt a tinge of unease at not being woken up by him, but you didn't take it seriously at the time.

What made you really realize that there was something odd going on with him was when he got out of the shower. He dried his hair with a towel and tossed it into the dirty clothes box next to the bathroom before leaving the master bedroom without a glance at you. Your eyes followed his back, your mind filled with confusion. With that doubt, you got up from the bed, put on your slippers, and went into the bathroom to wash up a bit before leaving the master bedroom as well.

Minho wasn't cooking breakfast nor had he switched on the TV, he was just sitting on the couch staring blankly ahead, not even moving. It was so odd, you'd never seen him like this before. You tried to shift to his side, but then your phone rang unexpectedly. When you looked down, it read "Chris" in the caller's name. It was barely ten o'clock, so why was Chan calling you? You pressed the answer button and held the phone to your ear.

"Oh my God Y/N! You won't believe what I'm about to say!" He sounded very excited, perhaps even more so than when he found out you and Minho were engaged. "I think I'm getting signed to a record label!"

Your eyes lit up at those words. You and Chan had become very close friends over the months. Although you always acted like you resented him, he did become an integral part of your life. You were so proud of him when you heard that he was able to achieve his dream.

"Oh my God Chris! I'm not dreaming, am I? When did this happen?"

"Just now! They sent me an email asking me to prepare for an interview! It's today! At Insomnia! Because it seems they're gonna ask me to do an interview in addition to the audition, and they want me to tell them about my work and stuff! So… for that reason……" Oh, so he didn't just call you to share his joy, he was asking for something. "Y/N! Can you come over and help me out? This interview is really important to me!"

You heard Chan's excited voice on the other side of the line and couldn't think of a reason to refuse. But then you thought of Minho, and you turned your head to look at him. He was still sitting there as still as he had just been, not moving at all, as if he didn't know you were on the phone.

"Yes I can, but do you want me to come over now?" You were a little worried about Minho's situation right now, and you wanted to make sure he was taken care of first if you could. "I've got a bit of business on my end."

"As soon as possible! They're already on their way! I have to at least pretend like it's busy here… Please Y/N, this really means a lot to me! It's a chance I might never get a second time in my life… I'll thank you for the rest of my life, I really will!"

You pursed your lips and finally agreed to his words. "Okay, I'll go now then."

You looked at the casual attire you were wearing and decided that it wasn't appropriate to meet Chan like that, so you turned around and went upstairs to change into something nicer. A simple white dress without too much decoration on it, it was one of your favorite dresses. As for the reason…… You didn't really want to remember now. You shouldn't have to wear anything too formal for the interview, not to mention that it wasn't you who was going to be interviewed, it was Chan, you just needed to be there for moral support and help. With that in mind, you smiled with satisfaction at yourself in the mirror and decided to just go downstairs. But when you got down to the door and were about to put on your shoes, Minho, who hadn't said a word, suddenly spoke up.

"Where are you going?" Somehow he was already standing behind you. You didn't even hear him come up to you.

"Chris is going to be interviewed by a record company and I have to go help-" "Don't go."

He interrupted before you could finish. It was then that you looked up at him. His hair hadn't quite dried out, but the dampness in his eyes wasn't supposed to be from a shower. Plus, his pupils seemed to be trembling. It seemed as if he was afraid of something. He tightened his grip on your wrist, his hands were also cold, unlike the warm ones you were familiar with.

"Minho?" you frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Don't go." He repeated the same words.

It was drizzling outside, seeing this, your other hand reached for the cabinet off to the side and pulled an umbrella from it. His gesture hadn't changed, his breathing uneven, still staring at you.

"It's something important to Chris, and I have to go help him. Besides, what am I staying for? Don't you have work today?" You thought for a moment. "That's right, it's Tuesday. Don't you have corporate meetings on Tuesdays?"

But he just looked so odd.

"What's wrong?"

His hands relaxed a little, followed by a couple of steps backwards, as if realizing that he'd scared you with such perverse actions. He pursed his lips and lowered his head to take a deep breath, but didn't say anything.

"Minho?" "Don't go… Please……"

His head remains lowered, making it impossible for you to see his expression. Your heart felt full of doubt, but you decided to hurry up with him after thinking of Chan's anxious state over there.

"Do you have a reason? I'm leaving if you don't have a reason." "……"

He didn't give you an answer. Any other day you would have dropped everything and helped him over to the couch for a few more questions, but today was a different story, and Chan was right, this interview could be a chance he'd never get a second time. If his music dreams were ruined because you weren't there, you'd hate yourself for the rest of your life. So even though you were very concerned about Minho, you didn't ask any more questions, turned around and pushed the door open and left.

After messaging Changbin to tell him he won't need to pick you up today, you open your umbrella and set off in the direction of Insomnia. Chan was scrambling to tidy up when you arrived, wearing a somewhat amusing suit, pairing that with a pair of gold-rimmed glasses. A completely different person from the Chan you were used to spending time with. But there was something really funny about him cleaning in that outfit. You pushed the door open and put the umbrella aside before hastily taking the broom and dustpan from his hands. When he saw that you had finally arrived, he asked you for your opinion on his outfit and you couldn't fool him, telling him straight away that there was really no need to be so formal. The people at the record company were supposed to be looking at his talent rather than his appearance, therefore he just had to be himself. After you said that, he nodded in agreement and went upstairs to change his clothes. When he came back down, he was wearing his regular outfit.

Maybe Chan had miscalculated the time, because the record company people didn't show up for a long time. Chan was falling asleep waiting, and if you hadn't been there, the interviewer would have come in and found him asleep at the counter.

After waiting with Chan for quite some time, it was noon and still no one was there. You began to regret coming out of the house without listening to Minho's explanation. What if there was some special reason why he wouldn't let you go? With that in mind, you were about to take out your phone and call him, but before you could get it out, there was a knock at the door, followed by someone coming in. It was the people from the record company. A man who was conducting the interview and a man who looked like a cameraman.

Quickly putting away the phone and shaking Chan, who was about to fall asleep, you guys were ready to start the interview. After a brief self introduction, you quietly retreated to the side to do your daily cleaning duties, and Chan did seem to relax a bit with you there. You were proud of him for not stuttering when he introduced his creative ideas and answered questions. The music playing in the background was a new album he had just played for you and Changbin the other day.

After a couple of hours of interviewing, the interviewers started to ask about the cafe. Chan stood up to introduce them to the cafe and to introduce the only other employee in the cafe, you. Chan got even more relaxed as he told the story of how you two first met, adding a lot of extra details to the story that never happened. You just shook your head from the sidelines, deciding not to correct him.

After that, they started talking about professional subjects in music, which you gradually started to lose track of, and started to think of other things. That is, what happened to Minho this morning. You wondered how he was doing and whether he had got to work without any problems. He should be at his office working by now at this hour. You don't want to disturb him, so instead of calling, you took out your phone and sent a message to Jisung asking about it, and glanced at the time. It was almost five o'clock. You didn't even realize that it had been so long. Chan asked you to make a couple of coffees for the guests, so you confirmed that the message had been sent and put your phone away.

It was almost dinner time when Chan told you that he had his own kitchen upstairs so you could see what was in the fridge and make something for everyone to eat. You had left in a hurry this morning and hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch. It was true that you were a little hungry at this point, and you were sure Chan was too. So even though it felt a little strange to have to enter a single man's house by yourself, you went upstairs.

Chan's home was modest, with the living room and kitchen joined together and no separate dining room. There was nothing in the living room but a couch, a coffee table and a TV. There were only two rooms next to each other, one of which was the bathroom and the other must have been his bedroom and studio. You took a casual glance and immediately headed for his kitchen and opened the somewhat miniature fridge.

There was hardly anything in his fridge, the complete opposite of what Minho had at home. Apart from whipped cream that had been frozen, presumably for making coffee, there were only a few energy drinks. No real food at all. You close the fridge and look around, trying to find instant food like instant noodles, but you couldn't find anything but granola bars. You couldn't have four people eating granola bars for dinner. With that in mind, you pulled out your phone and clicked on the take-out app.

It was raining heavily, but it was the only way you could get food right now……. You'll have to give the delivery guy a 5-star review and extra tip. So after a few moments of flicking through the take-out app, you ordered some food for the four of you.

Thinking that there was probably no point in you going downstairs now, you might as well sit in Chan's living room for a while. You made your way to the living room and turned on the TV. There was nothing interesting on at this time of day, after all, dramas don't come on until around eight o'clock, so you turned on a variety show that nobody watched. In a flash, 40 minutes had gone by.

Just as you were about to fall asleep, your phone rang. It was the take-out that had arrived. At the same time, you saw a red dot on your messenger app.

Han Jisung: "It's raining today."

That was all he wrote back to you, a strange statement.

But just as you were about to ask further, Chan called you from downstairs, and with the fact that you were indeed starving right now, you immediately forgot about it. You went straight downstairs to eat.

During dinner, the four of you started talking about things other than music, like Chan's background, and Chan was very generous with his stories, not hiding anything. That was something you envied, you couldn't be as open about your background as Chan and not be afraid of people having strange thoughts.

Chan said he was indeed born into a relatively wealthy family. He has a younger brother and a younger sister, who he claims was better suited to carry on the family business than he was. His sister seemed to think so too. His family was from Australia, so perhaps they were more open-minded. Chan said that when he first told his parents that he wanted to make music, they didn't stop him, they were even supportive. The cafe he ran now was funded by his father. It seemed that Chan's parents loved him dearly.

You couldn't help but feel a little jealous as he told this story.

It was 7pm by the time dinner was over, and the interview went on for another two hours or so. You were more interested because it was about his own life, something you could understand, so you sat aside and listened carefully. It was pouring outside, more so than before. You glanced at the weather forecast and it appeared that thunder was going to strike later. This was the first time it had rained since you had moved in with Minho. With such heavy rain, you wondered if Minho was going to have a hard time getting back. Wait, did Minho even go to work? But even if he did, he should be home bu now.

You remembered Jisung's strange comment from earlier and took out your phone again.

You: "So does that mean yes or no?"

Jisung was probably busy, you waited for a few minutes but didn't get an answer.

"So, Mr. Bang, that's the end of our interview for today."

You looked up at those words. The interviewer was shaking Chan's hand, confirming what you had just heard. You glanced at your watch again; it was almost ten o'clock. This interview had gone on for a full nine hours. There were breaks in between, but after such a long interview, you'd be the first person to be angry if the record company refused to sign Chan in the end.

"Thank you guys, really. I'm looking forward to getting a response." Chan's voice was a little hoarse, but still looked cheerful as always. He then frowned after glancing out the window at the rain. "Are you guys going to be okay going back with all this rain? Do you need to stay with us for a while longer until the rain stops?"

The cameraman beside the interviewer waved his hand. "It's not going to stop raining today, there's going to be thunder later, it's better to leave now before it gets even worse. If we stay any longer, we won't be able to leave for sure. It's strange huh, how it only rains twice a year here, and each time it's like the end of the world."

Chan nodded. "It's a good thing we're so high up here, otherwise we'd be flooded with all this rain, wouldn't we?"

After a few more moments of conversation around the subject of rain, you walked the two out of Insomnia with Chan.

Once the doors were closed, Chan slid down with his back against them and let out a huge breath in the process.

"Good job, Chris." "You too, you really did me a big——favor. I don't even know how to properly thank you……"

You smiled and held out your hand to pull him up. He smiled back and thanked you before taking a couple of steps to get behind the cash register. From the small cooler under the register, he took out two ice creams. "Want some? I've been saving these for a long time. They're only for important times like this! There're only two left, so you can share them with me."

You waved your hand. "Go ahead and eat it yourself, save the other one for when you've officially signed with them. I ate a bit too much just now. Not hungry at all." And you weren't lying, you really weren't very hungry right now, nor did you really want ice cream. "Your offer is appreciated though."

He grunted before putting the other ice cream back in the freezer.

"Then you have to at least give me a hug, I have to show my appreciation somehow, right?" He ripped the wrapper off the ice cream before walking towards you and opening his arms. "Or maybe hugs aren't allowed? Because Minho gets jealous?"

You rolled your eyes. "Are you going to eat the ice cream or hug me?"

He grinned. "Both."

He took you in his arms; Chan wasn't much taller than you, your chin rested right on his shoulder as you two hugged. He grinned and swayed from side to side like a little child who hadn't grown up. "Y/N, really, thank you. I've been so immersed in the world of music that I haven't had a friend like you in a long time. Thank you for showing up in my life and being my friend. Thank you really."

You couldn't help but smile at such a melodramatic and somewhat corny comment. "Thank me for what, I'm the one who has to thank you."

He ends the hug and looks at you with a somewhat puzzled look, licking the nearly melting ice cream in the process. "Thank me? I didn't do anything, did I?"

You smiled again as you remembered the "ring incident" that had happened a while ago.

"Minho," you said.

And just as you were about to continue, you suddenly heard the sound of the doorbell ringing behind you. Taken aback, you turn to look. Then froze.

"Y/N?"

The visitor froze in place just as you did, dropping the rain-soaked backpack in his hand to the floor.

For a moment, it was like your heart stopped. Even the sound of the rain outside the window disappeared. It was as if the world had paused.

"…….Hyunjin?"

Ten seconds, thirty seconds, a minute, and so time passed. Only the ticking of the pendulum on the wall and the sound of the rain slowly reappearing outside the window reminded you that time was not frozen.

Hyunjin simply stared at you, pupils quivering, breathing heavily, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He wanted to say something, but every time he took a breath, wanting to speak, he didn't know what to say. Finally, he took his eyes off you and looked at Chan, who was standing behind you, who had also remained still since Hyunjin walked in.

"You're Lee Minho?" He asked in a barely audible voice.

Chan frowned, "Who are you? We're closed today-" "Answer me!"

Hyunjin gritted his teeth and took a few steps to walk up to him, but you pulled his wrist as he passed you. The moment you made contact with him, both of you stiffened for a moment.

"Hyunjin…he's not." You said in a firm tone. But Hyunjin still looked unconvinced, glancing in Chan's direction and then at you, finally clenching his fist somewhat defiantly.

"But you just called him-" "I said he isn't. Hyunjin, don't be unreasonable."

You did your best to hide the emotion in your eyes. It seemed to work, because Hyunjin looked desperately into your eyes at the sound of your emotionless voice, trying to find something familiar in them, but all he saw was coldness.

The words 'you weren't like this before' were written on his face. He was the same as before, unable to hide any feelings. Just one look and you could see right through him.

"Chris, I'm sorry, could you excuse me? I…" You raised Hyunjin's wrist, and clutched it in your hand, "I need to have a word with him."

Chan nodded though there was a moment's hesitation. After throwing you a worried look, at last, he turned and walked up the stairs.

At that moment, a loud thunderclap struck, and you felt your phone vibrate in your trouser pocket, probably a text message from Jisung. But you didn't have time to read it. Your eyes were still on Hyunjin, your mind full of questions. But more than that, there was anger.

After Chan closed the door upstairs behind you, you let go of Hyunjin's hand.

"Why are you here?" You asked in a cold voice.

He heard your unwelcome tone and felt his heart ache just a little. His brow tightened, the wetness in his eyes unsure if it was from the rain or from himself.

"I… came, to see you……"

You frowned in return, "How did you know I was here?"

Hyunjin pursed his lips and tried to reach for your hand again, but you turned gently sideways and didn't let him. When he saw how resistant you were, he had to take two steps back, distancing himself from you.

"It's just a coincidence that I'm here… I didn't expect…… to see you here." The look in his eyes still full of love. But that happened to be the last thing you wanted to see right now. "I can't believe we're just going to end like this."

"I thought what I said in my text-" "That wasn't you at all!"

Hyunjin interrupted you, the raindrops hanging in his hair dripping down as a result of the cry.

"Y/N! I've known you for so many years… You simply…… You wouldn't talk to me like that…… I know you must-" He choked out a sob as his emotions took over again. You saw the corners of his eyes redden for a moment, and his breathing, which had just calmed down, rushed up again. He ducked his head, not wanting you to see him cry, his nose sniffled as he let out a shaky breath. "Y/N…I feel like I'm dying."

Coming from his mouth, these words would normally be an exaggeration. But now, at this very moment, seeing the way he's lost his mind, running through the rain to come to your city to find you… And the dark circles under his eyes, the bloodshot eyes, the dry, chapped lips, the cold hand you just held…… Maybe he wasn't exaggerating when he said he was "dying" just now.

"I don't believe it. No matter what you say in your text messages… I don't believe it. I don't even know how many times you must have edited those messages, how long you thought about them… That must be just crap you made up to deceive me……" He dropped the hand covering his face, but his eyes remained closed. "I found you just from hiding from the rain, doesn't this mean that we're meant to be? This is why… That is why I don't accept anything you say in your text messages. I won't allow you to sacrifice yourself. I want…I have to keep loving you…"

There was truth in what he said. It was true that you deleted and rewrote the message you sent him, again and again, back and forth several times like that before you sent it. It was true that you weren't as firm as you sounded like, but you weren't unfirm about your feelings, rather about how to get him to give up.

"Hyunjin…we're done. We…… never even started. If we never even start, why are you so upset? There are countless people in this world who are better than me. Why does if have to-" "Because you still love me… Don't you?"

You were silent. Not because you didn't know… Rather, because you didn't know how to tell him.

But he took your silence for your uncertainty. With a thud, he fell to his knees.

"If you still love me, why don't you give me another chance? Why did you give up on me? I… I would never want more… I just want to be with you… I just need you to love me. I wouldn't want anything more than a relationship with you, I wouldn't expect to marry you. I will never be jealous of Lee Minho, I will never hate him …… All I want is for you to love me …… Please, Y/N…?"

"No." Without even a second's hesitation, you rejected him. His eyes widened, as if he hadn't expected you to reject his plea so quickly. But he was just about to make another move when you continued to speak. "You shouldn't… You can't lower yourself to anyone like this. Especially… Not in a relationship. Absolutely not."

Such relationships with one-sided effort will only hurt you in the end.

Why couldn't he understand this?

"Fine then, I won't beg you…" He stood up, his eyes still damp. He still didn't understand you at all. "I just want you to tell me that you still love me… In your heart, I still-"

"Hwang Hyunjin!" you shouted, finally unable to resist. "Did you even hear what I just said?! Must I put it that bluntly for you to understand?!"

You called him by his full name, you had never called him by his full name like that before. You've never been angry with him. At least not as angry as you were today.

You thought he would be taken aback slightly at hearing such a tone of voice from you, but the frustration in his heart was ignited into anger at this point as well by your words.

"I don't get it! I don't understand! Nor do I want to understand! All I want to know is… Why are you acting like I don't mean anything to you anymore? Why? Are you being forced by Lee Minho? Did he do something to you-"

"That's enough! You don't understand, do you? If you don't understand, I'll tell you more bluntly. Hyunjin, you're not the right person."

Another thunderclap fell and Hyunjin's heart seemed to skip a beat. His eyes went wide, and if there had been a hint of sadness in his eyes earlier, there was nothing but disbelief at this point.

"… What do you mean? What do you mean I'm "not… the right person"? Lee Minho… is he the right person? But you're not even-"

Hyunjin's words were interrupted by a ringing tone, the ringing of your phone, someone calling you.

You took out your phone and looked at it, only to see "Minho" written on the dialer. It was Minho calling you. And when you looked at the time, it was almost eleven o'clock.

"Don't answer… Answer me, what do you mean by that?"

You wanted to answer the phone, but you didn't want to leave Hyunjin hanging at the same time. Besides, it would be rude to answer the phone in the middle of a conversation. So you didn't answer it, even though you were concerned about Minho, and let it continue to ring on. You looked back in Hyunjin's direction, no longer hiding the feelings in your eyes. You stroke the ring on your middle finger and felt the warmth of it. It was like feeling the warmth from Minho. The corners of your mouth begin to rise at the thought of him.

"I mean exactly what you think I mean, Jinnie…" you deliberately switch to the nickname you used to call him to show how serious you are. "He is the right person… I don't know how he thinks of me, but… I love him."

His eyes fell on your finger, the ring, too, at last.

"Love…" Hyunjin gritted his teeth, not knowing how to react for a moment when he heard that word come out of your mouth. That was probably something he had given you a lot of, and something he had thought you had for him. When you first met, he wondered if you remember. It was his goal to make you learn how to love someone. He thought he had taught you long ago… He thought that you had never confessed your love to him, perhaps because you didn't know how to, or perhaps because you were waiting for him to take the initiative. What he didn't expect was… Perhaps you never had feelings like "love" for him. Now here you are, the word coming out of your mouth, not to him, but to another person… Someone you've only known for less than two months…… He really didn't know what to think.

Maybe he really wasn't the right person.

"You love him?"

You nodded.

"Jinnie, I love him."

In that moment, it was as if all the jealousy, all the discontentment, all the sadness and grief disappeared. It was only for a few brief seconds. But after hearing you say those words with such sincerity, in that moment… He was happy for you.

"It's love, not fondness… Not admiration, not other feelings… but love, isn't it? You want to be with him for the rest of your life, you want him to have all the happiness in the world, your heart tears at the sight of him being sad, you want to give him everything you have, you have eyes for him alone, you think of him all the time… Is that what you feel like?"

These words, he didn't know who he was saying them to. Was he describing his feelings for you, or was he really asking for your answer?

To you, the old you, the one who had just met Hyunjin, these feelings he had just described were things you had not experienced. But as he was talking, as each of these examples came out of his mouth. In your head, it was all Minho indeed.

"I want to be with him forever."

"……"

Hyunjin put his head down, and his clenched hand loosened. At the same time, he laughed out loud.

You thought it was a self-mocking laugh and were just about to say something when he took two steps in your direction and then cupped your face.

"Y/N…" the emotion in his eyes changed again, a little similar to sadness, but different. His eyes were smiling, and it made you feel slightly puzzled. "You love him."

But there's no doubt in your mind about that anymore.

"I love him."

He smiled again, this time a somewhat helpless smile. "Why didn't you tell me earlier that it was because you were in love with him? Not once did you mention your feelings in your text messages… I thought that you were ready to sacrifice your happiness for your dad's company. If that's the case, there's nothing you could have said that would make me give up." He pressed his lips together and continued, "But if it's because you're in love with him… Then you have to be happy." His thumb traces the corner of your eye and rests on your cheek. "Though now I'm really wondering how on earth that man managed to do what I couldn't do for years… But if you say so…… Well, then you must be happy, even… Even if it's not with me. I won't ask you for anything else, I only have this one wish. Prove to me with your own happiness… It's the right decision to give you up, is that okay?"

You took his wrist in yours, and this time you were smiling too.

"I'll try."

Hyunjin let go of your face, his eyes were still on you. But the atmosphere between you was completely different from what it had been a few minutes ago. You knew he still felt terrible inside, but he was still smiling. Hyunjin was an important, very important, perhaps the most important friend to you. Although your feelings for him were no longer romantic, you still hoped from the bottom of your heart that he would be happy.

"Jinnie, you have to be happy too." You suddenly called out to him as he was about to leave. "You have to prove to me too… You were right to give up on me."

He turned his back to you and waved his hand at you, meaning yes.

You watched as he was about to push the door open and leave, and suddenly called out to him again like you remembered something.

"What's wrong this time? Are you going to let me go or not?"

You ran to the door and handed him the umbrella you had brought with you in the morning, which you had left by the door. "You take this with you. You'll definitely catch a cold if you keep soaking in the rain. I'll just call Minho later."

He looked at the umbrella in your hand, and then at you. "No need."

"But Hyunjin-" "Sad endings go well with rain."

"Besides, if I get a really bad cold and a fever that just burns away all my feelings for you…… It would be so much easier."

You couldn't help but laugh at his wonky argument. "You're saying weird things again."

He picked up the backpack he had dropped on the floor earlier and looked back at you one last time.

"By the way, Y/N…I'm definitely not showing up for your wedding."

With those words, Hyunjin disappears into the rainy night.

The rain probably wasn't going to stop or get any lighter. It was raining even harder now compared to when Hyunjin left a few minutes ago. Not only was it raining, but it was also windy. Even if you go out with an umbrella, you'll only get blown away.

With that thought, you switch on your phone to call Minho and ask him to come and pick you up.

But then you suddenly remember that he called you earlier when you were talking to Hyunjin.

1 missed call from: Minho today at 10:58 PM

1 new voice message from: Minho today at 10:59 PM

The voice message was only three seconds long, so you immediately clicked on it.

A small, subtle voice comes through, so subtle you almost didn't hear it.

"Please… Come back……"

He was crying.

Realizing this, you felt your heart tighten and clicked on the text messages from Jisung again.

After a quick read, you suddenly felt that nothing mattered anymore.

Without even taking your umbrella, without even saying goodbye to Chan, you pushed open the door of the cafe and ran out.

4 new text message from: Han Jisung today at 10:40 PM

Han Jisung: "Boss has a phobia of rain and thunder."

Han Jisung: "Wait, aren't you with Boss, Miss Y/N?"

Han Jisung: "You weren't with him this whole day?"

Han Jisung: "Miss Y/N??"

That's why he reacted that way this morning, that's why he begged you not to leave… He had begged you, he was already that abnormal, you could see that he was abnormal, why were you so stupid, why didn't you stay with him? Why didn't you just ask again? You know he's stubborn and feisty, so why didn't you ……Why why why why why……

By the time you got home, there wasn't a dry spot left on your body. Your hair was all over your face and some of it had even gotten into your mouth. You've been running for almost ten minutes straight and were on the verge of running out of breath, but none of that mattered.

The living room was pitch black, or rather the entire 1st floor was in complete darkness. There was no sign of Minho.

You quickly shut the front door and ran upstairs without even taking off your shoes.

It was dark on the 2nd floor too. Your heart went cold again.

Your first instinct was to go to his office, but there was no one there. Then came the bedroom.

The moment you pushed open the bedroom door, there was another loud thunderclap outside the window. Immediately afterwards, you heard a small whimper from the other side of the bed. With the little flash of light from the lightning, you saw Minho, curled up in bed with his ears tightly covered, next to his phone.

For a moment, you were relieved to see him. But when you heard his whimpers, you immediately stepped forward and, not caring that you were covered in rain, stomped off your shoes and climbed onto the bed.

"Minho…" you tried to call out, but he didn't respond. Thinking that maybe he didn't hear you, you reached out and tried to touch his shoulder, only to see him immediately flinch away as if he had been electrocuted. Nothing but fear was in his eyes, eyes that should be bright and clear.

He should never have had such an expression on his face.

When the panic slowly faded and he recognized that it was you in front of him, two streams of tears instantly fell. As if he had broken down, he threw himself at you like a madman and dove into your arms, his hands clutching yours so tightly that he didn't let go even when his nails were clamped into the back of your hand. There was no part of his body that wasn't trembling, and… Although it was you who was soaked in rain, his body temperature was even cooler than yours.

He made helpless, child-like sobs, worse than when he had his panic attack that night. His mouth kept repeating the same words over and over again. But perhaps because he was crying, or perhaps because he was shivering, you couldn't hear a single word.

You tried to calm him down, but he locked you in his arms, leaving no room for you to move. Then again, in a situation like this, he wouldn't have been able to understand much of what you were saying…

He held you like that for the next three minutes, mumbling strange and incomprehensible words. It was only when he let go of your hand to cover his ears for another thunderclap that you were able to hold him back and stroke the back of his head.

"You're -still- alive…… Not, not dead, still… A-alive, you're not dead……"

It was now that you finally understood what he was saying. But after hearing it, you got even more confused.

Why would he think you were dead?

But this wasn't supposed to be the time to ask the question, and all you could do was cater to his words.

"Yes, I'm not dead… Minho, look… I'm not dead. I'm right here… I'm sorry… Don't cry, Minho…… calm down……"

You helped him cover his ears together, resting your forehead against his, murmuring and repeating those words.

I'm not dead, I'm right here, I'm sorry, don't cry, calm down.

You didn't know how much time had passed, maybe ten minutes, or maybe an hour. You had lost all sense of time. His tears dried up, his rapid heartbeat and breathing settled down. But even though he seemed to be recovering, he still wouldn't leave your embrace. He just rested against your forehead, his brow still furrowed and his eyes closed.

"Minho…are you okay?" Finally, after his breathing had completely steadied, you asked, opening your eyes and carefully observing his expression.

The rain outside was still heavy, but the thunder had died down. Minho opened his eyes at the sound of your voice, red circles and bloodshot whites still making you feel stuffy and guilty.

"I'm sorry…. over at Insomnia…… Something came up and I didn't get to pick up your call in time. I'm really sorry……"

He slid his head down the side of your face to your shoulder, his hands leaving his ears to encircle your waist.

"As long as you are okay……"

While you felt relieved to see him as if relaxed, at the same time the question remained. Why did he think you were dead, and what did Jisung mean by "fear of rain and thunder" in his text? Why would he have such a fear? Even if he did have a fear of thunder and rain, what did that have to do with "thinking you were dead"? You had a feeling it wasn't going to be as simple as you thought.

Your hand continued to stroke his hair as you pondered how to ask the question you had in mind. Or rather, whether you should ask it at all. The rain has lightened but not yet stopped, which meant that Minho was still in a rather unstable state of mind. You were afraid that if you accidentally asked the wrong question you might send him into another panic. That was the last thing you wanted.

"I've shown you my useless side again……"

Your heart ached a little at the sadness that filled his tone.

"I don't care about that sort of thing…" "But I care….."

His arms tightened a little as he took a deep breath. "I care… About how I look in your eyes……"

You pursed your lips, you have had the answer to that question in your mind for a long time. But at the moment you didn't know how to answer. What would he think if you said he was someone important? Would he take it as a sign that you had more than friendly feelings for him?

"I know I shouldn't be like this, I shouldn't be overly concerned about how I look to others… But you're different. I don't care about anyone else, but you're different… You're the one I want to spend time with, the one who's going to be with me for the rest of my life… I want to project a reliable, strong image… To provide you with a home, a safe haven…… I don't want to appear weak in front of you, but I don't want to hide anything from you either… Y/N, do you know how hard that is? Everyone thinks I'm the unreachable, cold and tough guy……. I have even started to think of myself that way. Before I met you, I forgot that I could even be like this, sensitive and vulnerable like a normal human person. But I was just so scared… Scared that you might……"

He choked up again as he reached the end of his sentence. Tears that had just dried up once again flowed down the corners of his eyes.

"I was afraid that you'd left me… Like mom and dad……"

Minho's parents were mentioned to you by your father. They passed away in a car accident four years ago. That's why Minho inherited the Lee Corporation at such a young age. But apart from the fact that they died in a car accident and that Minho had insomnia because of it, you knew nothing about his parents' death and never thought about it. Now it seemed that the car accident caused more than just insomnia.

"I thought I'd never tell anyone about this… But I don't want you to worry, Y/N. You must be curious, right? The way I just reacted… What was really going on."

Though he did speak your mind, you didn't want to force him.

"I don't mind, Minho. if you're not ready to tell me now, I'm not going to make you. Nothing will come between us over this, I promise."

He let go of your waist and sat up straight before bringing his head up to look you in the eyes. Though he still looked drained, the fear in his eyes from earlier had disappeared. In its place was an expression more gentle than at any time before.

"No, I believe you, Y/N, I know you would never force me. But, like I just said…… I don't want to hide anything from you, never again to have a misunderstanding over anything. Besides, as my future wife, you'll have to know sooner or later."

He reached over and took your hand in his, you could still feel his hand trembling slightly. He took a deep, shaky breath and exhaled. He closed his eyes and opened them again a few seconds later, as if he had finished sorting out his thoughts.

Then he spoke.

"I assume that you, like everyone else, only know that my parents died in a 'car accident', or at least that's all you should know. After all, the police and I haven't put out any facts other than this false information."

"My parents didn't die in a car accident, they were killed. They were killed by an employee of the company. A former employee who had been made redundant by my father for lack of capability. At our old house, 2:48am, in the middle of a thunderstorm. He shot himself after killing my parents. I couldn't even hold him accountable. And it was all my fault."

You simply didn't know what to say.

"The company would have been doomed if this had been made public. Even in the midst of extreme grief and anger I was aware of the matter. So I spent a huge amount of money to falsify the facts into a car accident. There are only five people who know the truth, and now with you, there are only six in total."

No wonder he was always so sad when he mentioned his parents, his eyes always so remorseful. That was why.

But you couldn't think of any words to describe how you felt at the moment other than heartbroken.

"It's because I didn't leave the bodyguard with them, because I went out that night against their wishes, because I didn't pay enough attention… Didn't take proper precautions… Because I was too useless that they……"

His fists clenched tight, his teeth gritted as he blamed himself to the core.

You couldn't even imagine how he felt, what it must have been like. The morning after you moved in, the words he said to you before he left the house, the worried look in his eyes. The words, "It's not safe here at night" and "It's not something negotiable". It all made sense. It was because there was a precedent. That's why he was so on edge.

You knew why he would blame himself for this, blaming himself to the point of all those years of insomnia. You could totally understand how traumatic such a loss could be and the impact it could have on his life.

"How I called home that night and no one answered, countless calls, texts, no one replied. It wasn't normal. My parents, especially my mother, would never not answer my calls. So I knew something must have happened. It was raining heavily that night, heavier than any other night. When I got home and saw the half-shut door, and the blood on the floor… Mom and Dad collapsed in a pool of blood, the broken phone in Mom's hand… I… I didn't know what to do. I sat there paralysed, my brain felt like it had stopped working, and I forgot to even call the police. I just sat there in place for ten minutes, listening to the sound of rain and thunder in the background, lightning illuminating the scene inside the house every now and then……"

"Stop it, Minho… Stop talking about it……"

You didn't want him to go back to those painful memories. But his grip on your hand tightened a little more, signaling you to let him continue. He knew what he was doing, he wanted to tell you.

"I wanted to forget those images, to never think about them again for the rest of my life if I could. But after that… Every time I hear rain, thunder… The images of that night still come back to me. Y/N…Y/N…… before you……. I, I didn't want to bother you this morning, after all these years I've pulled through on my own… But, but by the time it started thundering in the evening, I called you and you didn't answer… That moment I …… I didn't even know what to do. You went out without a bodyguard, and I didn't hear from you all day, and I thought, I thought you….. Y/N…I was just really scared. But thankfully, thankfully you're okay…… You're still right in front of me, you're breathing, you're alive, you……"

His other hand reached out and rested on your cheek, his thumb rubbing over your tear-soaked skin, wiping the tears from the corner of your eyes. "You came back to me… You didn't leave me…… My Y/N…"

He said you were 'his'. Your breath hitched. He had no idea how much those words affected you.

"If I could, I'd like to have you with me every rainy night from now on, like this……"

He moved closer, his pupils trembling slightly, but his gaze never left your eyes.

"To keep gazing at you like this, to get lost in your eyes, to forget everything else, to forget all those painful memories, to just look at you and let you be the only one left in my mind…"

He came closer, you could even feel his breath hitting your cheeks. He was so close, you had never felt him as close as he was now, despite the countless hugs you had already had. It made your heart beat ever faster as your pupils dialated.

"Minho…" you called out his name, unable to utter a single word other than that.

Only now he snapped out of it a little, taking a sharp breath before backing up a little and pulling away from you.

You had to admit, there was a slight feeling of disappointment in your heart at that moment. But perhaps it was better not to continue. Otherwise you would never have been able to stop the feelings in your heart again.

"You're so wet…… I mean, you're covered in rain." He tried to change the subject, and the words that came out only made the atmosphere between you even more delicate. "Didn't you bring an umbrella with you when you left the house? How come you're so drenched? Did you run straight back just now? In that heavy rain?"

It then occurred to you that you were indeed drenched to the bone, from the time you got back until now.

"So… Should I go and change?" You observed his expression and spoke hesitantly.

"No… no need… I'll just get a towel, you stay here."

"Are you okay? It's still raining outside…"

He paused for a moment, then smiled.

"Is it? I didn't even notice."

You were still sitting on the edge of your bed sorting out the information you had just gathered when Minho returned from the bathroom. You didn't realize he had come until he put a towel on your head.

"Did you completely miss what I was just saying?" He asked, speaking up.

You shook your head a little embarrassed, you really hadn't heard anything just now. Didn't even know he had spoken.

"It's fine, I was just asking what you were thinking. With a look like that, you weren't thinking about that Hwang kid again, were you?" He asked a little sourly.

You were thinking about Minho, Hyunjin's face didn't even appear for a second. But he thought you were thinking about Hyunjin. And with this sour tone, was he jealous? The thought surprised you a little.

"I was thinking about you…" You replied in a whisper after a moment of silence. The reply made him smile in satisfaction.

"You'd better be thinking of me." With those words, he knelt beside you, reached out and took the towel that was resting on your head in his hand and began to gently wipe your soaked hair.

The atmosphere was fairly normal at first, he was just drying your hair. Although you did gesture that he could let you do it yourself, he insisted on drying it himself, saying that it would allow him to focus on you rather than the rain outside the window. You thought it made sense and agreed.

But when he started wiping other places, the atmosphere between you started to get a bit strange.

Perhaps it was because you still hadn't gotten over the way you felt when you were so close to him earlier, your heart was still beating a little too fast and your mind kept buzzing. His silhouette loomed over you, and even when you tried to distract yourself, you were completely unable to do so.

His hands were warm as they traced over your slightly cold skin, causing you to let out a little moan.

At that sound, his movements stalled as his breathing stopped.

"What, are you horny for me right now?"

Perhaps his subconscious trying to act tough took over when he said such a weird sentence. Only your heartbeat was too loud, so loud that it drowned out the sound of his words. But you could tell by his expression what kind of sentence he had uttered. But your body froze, your eyes went blank, and you didn't know what to do in response.

The reaction read as distractedness in his eyes. He had said such an embarrassing sentence, but he had been anticipating a response, but you hadn't heard it. He dropped his hand from holding the towel, swallowed as his Adam's apple slid up and down. As if making some kind of decision, he looked up at you after taking your hand in his other and spoke again, this time with all the sincerity in his eyes.

"I mean… If you want…… I can help you…… Do you want me to? Y/N?"

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. You had little experience in relationships, but if you understood him correctly, his question, as subtle as it was, meant…… He's inviting you, to have sex with him?

You swallowed and chose to ask again, just in case you hadn't heard correctly, "What did you say?"

He didn't answer right away, his eyes retracted from looking at yours and turned to the gap between your legs. He pressed his lips together, as if he was making some kind of decision. After what felt like a long time, yet also felt like just a second, Minho slowly placed his right hand on your knee.

Your eyes never left him, taking everything in. Now you understood completely what he was asking.

Seeing no resistance from you, Minho slowly slid his hand between your legs, fondling the sensitive skin of your inner thighs along the way. His fingers left warm traces where they had touched, sending shivers down your spine. Your breathing intensified as you bit your lips, trying to hold back a moan.

"I'm asking you…for permission."

You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the words and not on the strange sensation between your legs. But you who not so long ago was talking sense to Hyunjin, felt as if you had lost your words at the moment. Your mind went blank, unable to make anything but the sound of heavy breathing.

"I won't be able to hold back any longer if you don't answer me right now."

His words were like whispers of the devil, tempting you to eat the forbidden fruit. Your eyes misted up, not knowing if it was because of his words or because you felt something, and you murmured softly, "Then don't…"

His movements stalled as he looked up at you with slight disbelief. His Adans apple bobbed again at the sight of your flushed cheeks and unfocused eyes at his movements.

"What?"

You gritted your teeth and blinked, your brow furrowing slightly as you felt the strange sensation of unease in your lower half. You reached out and took his hand, still hovering on your inner thigh, and placed it where you wanted him most.

"I said…… don't hold back."

It was still pouring outside, the sound of rain falling on the window still stimulating Minho's nerves. If it were any other day, he would have been shivering under the sheets, but at this moment he felt like he had left everything behind, his eyes, his mind, only you were in there.

But at that very moment, a loud thunderclap fell.

He immediately closed his eyes, his breath hitched, and he felt his thoughts being taken back to that night…

Then, he felt something warm on his cheeks all of a sudden.

Opening his eyes, he saw you. It was your hand, your gentle hand cupping his face. Your eyes were fixed on him, and there was seriousness and pain in them besides lust. Your fingertips rubbed over his cheek, tracing it gently as your lips parted lightly.

"Minho…look at me. Don't think about anything else, look at me. Trust me. I won't leave you."

Look at you, trust you, you won't leave him.

The words seemed to kill the last of his sanity, and all hesitation disappeared as he drew in a shuddering breath of cold air.

"You're driving me crazy……"

With those words, his fingers make a slight effort to draw a few circles around your clit through your panties. Tender and seductive, making you want more. Your crotch fiddled upwards, silently craving more of his caresses. But he laughed.

"We're in no hurry…let's take it slow."

His hand went to the zip of your skirt and you lifted your hips in response, together the two of you removed the obtrusive fabric.

Tossing your skirt aside, Minho's attention never left you. His hand went to your inner thigh again, only this time he didn't caress it back and forth, it just rested there. Instead, his head moved up and planted a kiss on the sensitive area. One didn't seem to be enough, as he moved up your leg little by little, his other hand not standing idle as he began to undo his own collar.

His kisses stop at the edge of your panties, never going any further than where you want him to be most. You frowned a little in displeasure, was he going to keep bullying you after all this time?

"Minho… Don't tease me……"

Feeling a smile curl his lips as they connected at the base of your thigh, you gave him a punishing squeeze with your leg.

"Foreplay is important, Y/N. Don't rush it, the night is still long. But…if you're not satisfied……" His other hand reached for the one you had propped up on the side of your body after he finished unbuttoning his shirt, pulling on it to help it find the back of his head. "I'm underneath you now, the power is yours. Your hand can make my head do whatever you want it to do."

With those words from him, your eyes darkened and you gripped his hair mercilessly, causing him to muffle a grunt. The vibrations transferred to your lower abdomen, causing you to groan out as well.

"Does it hurt?" You asked as you found your voice.

"I like it." He replied.

With each word he said, the vibrations your clit felt grew stronger and your grip on his hair grew less and less benevolent. But listening to his constant muffled grunts, and the fact that you could only see the top half of his face from your current perspective, with its undried tear stains and red eyes, it almost looked like you were the one bullying him.

He seemed out of breath, pawing at your leg and begging for mercy. You immediately let go of his hair so that he too could finally breathe properly. He was almost wet from the nose down, glistening, not knowing if it was from his saliva or your juices. It was the first time you had ever seen Minho looking so fucked out, with his eyes full of desire and gasping for air. You unconsciously swallowed, finding the scene very pleasing to the eye.

"You're so beautiful……" you blurted out the words that came into mind.

He gasped at your praise for a moment, then laughed. "Y/N…you're actually a sadist aren't you?"

You froze for a second at the term, not knowing how to reply to him, only pursing your lips as your cheeks flushed. "But you do look really beautiful right now……"

He leaned back and sat on his heels, his hands on his knees like a pretty doll. If you ignored the filth on his face.

"Want to kiss?" He asks. "I've wanted to for a long time."

At his words you realized that there hadn't even been a kiss between the two of you. It was your mouth down there that kissed him first.

"Then get up." "My legs are numb, help me."

For some reason, his simple "help me" made you feel aroused and immediately reached out and pulled him up from the floor. Minho's legs were so numb that he couldn't stand, losing his balance and dropping his entire body straight down on top of you. After feeling you underneath him, he smiled and sighed, as if laughing at your impatience.

"Wipe your mouth, it's dirty."

You didn't want to taste yourself.

"It's not dirty at all."

He wrapped his arms around the back of your neck and kissed up forcefully.

You'd imagined what your first kiss with Lee Minho would be like. A stolen kiss in the film room, a goodbye kiss before leaving the house, a goodnight kiss before going to bed, you'd thought of all sorts of scenarios. Only nothing like this. Violent, forceful, erotic and yet so deeply emotional.

His tongue probed your lips, tracing the shape of them, then eased in deeper. You struggled to respond to him, entwining your tongue with his. Neither of you could be said to be skilled kissers, but at the moment, more than skill, emotion prevailed.

He reached one hand to the back of your head, his fingers thrusting into your hair and pulling you closer to him.

It was the first time you had touched each other like this, getting to know each other like this. It didn't feel like it; it was as if he knew your body so well that every movement made you shiver. After the kiss was over, he didn't leave your body immediately, but lowered his head and began sucking on the sensitive spot under your ear, his lips rubbing against the sensitive skin as hot breaths rushed out of his nose and patted the back of your ear, you couldn't help but moan out.

His other hand didn't stay unoccupied either, sliding straight down to your hip and picking your whole body up tightly on his strong, powerful thighs. After leaving countless kisses on your ears, neck, collarbone and chest, he was finally satisfied and buried his face in your chest, breathing in your scent greedily. You couldn't do anything but breathe heavily as he kissed you into oblivion. Your hands on his shoulders continued to tremble as well.

"Don't you think this shirt is a bit in the way too?"

You couldn't manage a complete sentence, but you nodded your head after some thought. After getting your permission, Minho helped you take your top off, while starting to stare at your bra in awe.

"I didn't know I was going to… I didn't wear a set today……"

You thought he was concerned about that and squeezed out those two lines in a bit of a panic. But he frowned at that. "I was just thinking that you probably don't have too much attachment to a bra, do you?"

"What?"

"I want to rip it off."

He leaped forward like a tiger trying to execute the action, only for you to step in and stop him.

"You'll have to take your clothes off too. Shirt and pants, all of them."

At those words, Minho felt his dick harden between his thighs and his sanity, which was not much left, disappeared into thin air. But even so, he obediently began to undress. Starting with his shirt, he unbuttoned his shirt one by one, the first few with patience, and then he started pulling it off with brute force directly after. You felt sorry for his ridiculously expensive clothes, but at the same time you wanted him to take them off faster so that you could get back to business as soon as possible.

Minho revealed his fit body as he undid his shirt. Gorgeous pecs along with a six-pack all on display, you couldn't help but swallow hard. His nipples were already hard from the friction earlier and were standing on his chest proudly. You couldn't wait to tug on them and turn them pink. The thought of how good he would sound made your lower body start to leak even more, soaking your panties.

You probably were a sadist, like Minho said.

The sound of Minho pulling his belt out of his trousers pulled you back from your own imagination. Your eyes move down to his poorly hidden tent. You could see his shape even through his trousers. He definitely wasn't small, at least average length. That said, you've only ever seen a man's genitals in videos, having no recollection of the night with Hyunjin, so this was the first time you were going to see the real thing. You continue to stare at his movements, anticipating him to hurry up and pull down his trousers.

You wondered if he was doing it on purpose, as if he was teasing you, tempting you, his pace grew slower. Only taking them off little at a time, keeping an eye on your expression. Seeing you staring at his spot with undivided attention, he licked his lips with excitement, where the taste of you still seemed to linger.

"I've shown you my chest, aren't you going to take your bra off?"

"I thought you were going to rip it off."

He grinned, "I'd rather see you rip it off yourself."

"I kinda like this bra." Although you were still arguing back and forth with him, your hands obediently reached up to your chest and unhooked your bra, revealing your perky breasts. Like him, you kept an eye on his expression. After seeing his gaze go straight to it, followed by a downward swallowing motion, you tossed your bra casually to the side in a pile of clothes. "You're hard."

He'd pulled his trousers down just in time too, leaving the two of you with nothing more than your underwear on. He crawled in your direction, his hand on your back, his eyes shifting from your breasts to the spot between your legs. "You're wet, too."

Not knowing what strange desire for victory was stirred up, you quickly replied. "I'm wet because you licked me. You got hard like that from just hearing my voice and seeing my boobs."

With that said you reached out and placed your hand on his bulge. Thumb and forefinger stroking it gently, teasing, causing him to suck in a breath and tighten his grip on your back.

"I told you… You're driving me crazy…… It's your fault I'm like this……" A drop of sweat slid down his forehead, sliding from the tip of his nose to his lips. There was no longer any emotion in his eyes other than desire. "It's your fault, you're responsible for fixing this…… with your hands, your mouth, your…… there."

Not wanting to hear any more of his lewd words like that, you closed your eyes and leaned forward, kissing his wordy mouth. Your hand moved up from his bulge as well, tugging at the side of his briefs to pull them down. Losing the friction on his member, he grunted in displeasure, swallowed by your kiss. Seeing that he has no intention of lifting his bottom to cooperate with you, you frown a little in annoyance and reach your hand behind him to slap him on the ass. It was not a weak hit, it was probably gonna go red there. He obviously wasn't expecting you to be so dominant all of a sudden, and with a grunt of defeat, he obediently lifted his hips to allow you to pull the front section of his long-soaked briefs down his thighs.

Realizing you'd hit a little too hard, you ended the kiss, that hand running up his hip, rubbing it soothingly. "Was that too much? I'm sorry…I should have asked you first……"

"That hurt……" The complaint had a slight pout to it, sounding both a little out of place and at the same time appropriate coming from his mouth.

He had pressed almost his weight against you as you kissed. The grip on your back is becoming more and more like a support. At this point it was like you were completely reversed and he was the one who looked like he was going to be pinned down. "You really like to make me suffer don't you……"

Your other hand went upwards to his cheek, your thumb gently touching his flushed skin. "Did I cause you pain? …… I'm sorry…I didn't know I'd just-"

He suddenly lowered his head and kissed you. It was a sloppy kiss, not a deep one, more as if to interrupt you.

"Don't say you're sorry…… I like it. If it's coming from you…such pain……" He whispered into your ear, making it sound even more erotic, more seductive. "But right now, I want to fix the pain here more than anything……"

He finds your hand and places it on the now uncovered member. You felt the warmth of it in your hand as your pulse sped up.

It was hot, really hot……

"With my hand? Do you have any lubricant?"

You asked a very real question.

Minho froze for a moment. Seeming to notice the problem as well, sanity returned to his head for the moment.

"I do have lube… But…… I don't have any condoms."

You blinked. "You don't have condoms at your house? Haven't you been here with other people……"

He shook his head blankly, his cheeks flushing slightly as if he was about to admit something a little humiliating. "Haven't done it around here…the last time I had sex was four years ago……"

I made sense when you thought about it, he did have more important issues to deal with in those four years than his sexual desires. How could a man who couldn't even sleep think about having sex with someone else? And so you didn't delve into it. But then he picked out the unpleasant words from what you had just said. "And Y/N…it's not "my" house. It's "our" house."

You couldn't help but smile at his somewhat adorable statement and nodded quickly. "Okay, our house." But the problem was still unresolved, even though you knew the reasons behind it. You ran your hand over his member back and forth, smearing the fluid that spilled from his tip onto the shaft as temporary lubrication. "So… what now? I don't want to get pregnant yet…… I don't have any birth control either……"

You could see that he was trying to ignore the pleasure in his lower body, trying to think about this somewhat ridiculous but realistic question. Your other hand that was stroking his cheek moved, your thumb tracing over his lower lip to get his attention.

"It's okay, Minho…… it's only our first night. I'll just use my hands."

He seemed a little disappointed, his lower lip nudging up unconsciously. He was running out of options. Failing to think as the pleasure in his lower body was too intense for him to distract himself from.

You leaned over and kissed the tip of his nose, sliding your other hand down his shaft and finding his balls that had obediently settled on the bed, holding them in your hand and playing with them a bit. It was nice to hear the sounds he couldn't hold back, knowing how much you were affecting him.

"Though you've got quite enough precum to use as lube, go get it anyways, will you?"

He nodded and reluctantly left your touch, slowly making his way up from the bed in the direction of the nightstand, pulling open the first drawer and taking a small bottle of lubrication before handing it to you. Although the disappointment in his eyes was still there, there was more excitement and anticipation at this point.

You opened the small bottle and poured some of the lubricant into your hand. The liquid was a little cool as you drew in a breath of cold air and rubbed it into your hand. It was cold even on your relatively insensitive hand, how would it feel to put it directly on his private parts? Once the liquid has warmed up a little, your hand reached for the hard, slightly swollen cock again. Before touching it, you looked up at Minho. "It's a bit cold, are you okay with that?" He nodded instantly, like he couldn't wait any longer, fiddling his lower body upwards a few times. You smiled, your roles were really reversed.

"We're in no hurry…let's take it slow…..right?"

He couldn't help but blush as he heard his words being returned to him exactly as they were.

"You told me not to tease you…but now you're teasing me ……" He moved closer to you, reaching out and wrapping his arms around your torso, his head resting sideways against your chest so you wouldn't see the look on his face at that moment. Your unlubricated hand reached for the back of his head and scratched it soothingly, a chuckle escaping your lips. He was just about to grunt in displeasure when he was startled by the sudden coolness he felt on his member, and the grunt turned straight into a moan. "Cold……"

"Didn't I tell you it was a little cold? But look, it won't feel cold in a second." You smoothed down his shaft, the lube warmed almost instantly by his burning member. "Feel good?"

He didn't answer with anything but a moan. The part of his brain that organised language had about gone on strike. After a few strokes, his moans grew louder as his muscles began to tighten up. Like he was about to climax, he started a light shudder, his grip on your waist tightening and his breathing becoming erratic.

"Y/N…slow down …… I'm going to…" He seemed a little anxious, tapping your back as if he wouldn't be able to hold back if you didn't.

You heard his words but didn't comply, instead, you sped up.

"It's okay, Minho…no need to hold back any longer."

He tried to remedy, but though his brain, overrun by intense pleasure, thought that, he couldn't make any real movements. Finally, with a muffled grunt and a whimper immediately following, he came. The cum landed on your stomach and lower abdomen, running down to your private parts. You hastily wiped it off with the blanket, not caring if the blanket was worth a few hundred million won.

Your breasts were covered in the sweat dripping off his forehead, and with the sighs and harsh breaths of his post-orgasm, you felt a little itchy there. You tried to move away, but instead of relaxing after his orgasm, his hands held tighter. You knew that men were at their most vulnerable after an orgasm, and after a moment of agonising decided to leave things as they were for now. Your hand on the back of his head travelled down the nape of his neck to his back, patting it gently to help calm him down.

He stayed like that in your arms for a few minutes. You didn't know how long it had been since he'd had his last orgasm, but it had been several minutes since he'd came and still he hasn't eased up. It must've been a long time.

It wasn't your turn yet, but you were actually quite satisfied already. If he wanted to end it there, or just fall asleep, you'd honestly have no problem with that. But just as you were thinking that, he spoke up.

"How humiliating… I just finished like that……"

You felt a little amused to hear that. You thought he was thinking about something else, but it turns out he was really worried about this.

"It's not your fault …… You haven't had an orgasm in a while, have you?"

He nodded in your arms.

"It's been a few months…… work is busy…and with you at home, I'm afraid to……"

He sounded a little resigned when he said this, not at all like the CEO of one of the top ten companies in Korea. When in your arms and by your side, he was simply a normal young man in his twenties.

"What about you? How long has it been since you've had sex?"

He left your embrace suddenly and looked at you with sincere eyes. It seemed as if the question was very important to him.

You felt a little awkward getting asked this question. Your mind had to go back to Hyunjin again. Minho saw this expression on your face and his expression darkened. He knew that look all too well. It was the same look you had every time you mentioned Hyunjin.

"I can't remember what happened that night…but, it was about two months before I met you? I got drunk and went out with Hyunjin……"

Minho's tongue pushes up against his cheek, visibly upset at hearing Hyunjin's name. You then realize that you haven't told him about meeting Hyunjin at the cafe earlier.

"By the way…Minho, Hyunjin came to see me today."

Hearing those words, anger flared up in Minho's eyes, which were already irritated.

"Came to see you? He came in person? In the pouring rain?" You nodded, "That kid……"

"But I've told him to leave. I turned him down. Rejected him very clearly. Minho…he's never coming back again."

"What do you mean? He's so…obsessed with you. What did you say?"

'I told him I love you,' you wanted to say, but the words got stuck in your mouth as you were too embarrassed to say them. You just blushed.

He cocked his head curiously at the look on your face. He waited for a long time but didn't get your next word.

You knew Minho was fond of you. Otherwise he wouldn't be in bed with you so intimately as he was now. But "love" is a heavy word. You were still not sure if he felt "love" for you or not. You didn't want him to feel the pressure of having to 'love' you too, just because you had taken the liberty of saying the word first.

"I… he's not going to bother us anymore. You're probably never going to see him again in your life. He won't want to see you in his life either, I can guarantee that."

He sneered, the CEO feeling returning a little. "I don't think he'd dare either. I'd definitely beat him up if I saw him. How dare he try to steal my fiancée? That little brat."

Not wanting to see him ruin his mood because of Hyunjin, you hurriedly reached out and patted his face to get his attention.

"Stop thinking about him, Minho," you said as you parted your legs and pulled your panties down to reveal your private parts. "Think of me, look, you've already come once, but I haven't. Don't you think it's a bit unfair?"

The gesture did succeed in getting his attention. Not only did his eyes go straight, but the member between his legs, which had gone soft earlier, perked up again. He crawled between your legs and switched to a kneeling position, his hand reaching for your crotch somewhat awkwardly, only to have you slap it away.

"Use your mouth."

Hearing your somewhat commanding words, he could think of nothing else, and swallowed with some excitement before obediently lowering his head and reaching for your private parts. Without the obstruction of your panties, every breath he drew was now actually hitting your skin. His hands unconsciously dragged down both of your legs and his whole face was buried between them.

Tentatively, he stuck out his tongue and licked the head of your clit, then kissed it. You shuddered and gasped. Having had his first experience of tasting you, he licked his lips and, no longer focusing only on the top part, his tongue probed downwards, making its way to your vagina. His tongue pushes into your pussy, mimicking the action of intercourse as he moves in and out. His nose still pressed against your clit, the dual stimulation of his tongue nudging it against your clit with each move caused you to cover your mouth.

He heard your slightly indistinct moans and knew what you were doing, one hand reaching up to grab your wrist and pull it from your mouth. But he didn't just want to hear your moans. He placed your hand on the back of his head. Then his tongue left your pussy and lifted his head slightly before he said in a voice you could barely hear, "Make me hurt."

By the time you came back to your senses, all that came to your ears was his cries of pleasure. Your hands tug mercilessly at his hair, forcing him to resist your strength in order to continue to bring you pleasure. It was as if he wanted to make you feel good even though it caused him pain.

He gripped the sheets with one hand, the other matching his tongue as it ravished your hole together, going deeper and deeper. Probing around, he inadvertently found your G-spot. Minho knew it was different, it was a little hard and stimulating it made your moans higher in pitch. He then stimulated the spot, pushing his finger harder against it in spite of it.

As you enjoyed the pleasure, another desire erupted in your head. The desire to tell him what you really thought, the desire to tell him that you loved him.

You wanted to leave all your hesitations behind and face him with your true self, without hiding anything. He has informed you of his deepest and most painful memories and shared them with you. How could you do this to him? How could you not tell him what you thought?

The more you thought about it, the more it made sense, and with your head spinning, you softly uttered, "I love you …… I told him…I love you ……"

He stopped his movements for a moment, thinking he had misheard. But he didn't stop moving for long, and after just a few moments he started pushing harder again, causing you to cry out in pleasure. The pleasure built up and eventually, with a near screaming moan, you came.

He gasped and left your legs, his whole face flushed and his breath unsteady. You weren't much better, letting go of his hair and then throwing your head back to catch your breath, trying to find your sanity.

You felt Minho scoot forward and wrap his arms around your neck, his cheek resting next to yours. It was then that you heard the irregularity in his breath. And at that moment, the tears that dripped down your shoulder confirmed your suspicions.

"Why are you cry-" "I love you too."

Your eyes widened as you felt your heart skip a beat.

"I love you…I love you…… I, how could I love you so much…… Y/N…… My Y/N… I love you, I love you…… Don't leave me……"

He was spilling his heart out to you again. This was the second time this night. You were still holding each other the same way, not even the gestures had changed much. Only this time the words weren't as heartbreaking as the earlier ones, only this time they were blissful words that made you happy. But the blissful words brought tears to your eyes. You couldn't describe in words how you were feeling at the moment. You just felt so good to be able to say it. It was so wonderful to know that his heart felt the same as yours.

"Shhh…Minho…take a deep breath…… I'm not going anywhere, I'm here. Right here with you. I'm all yours now, body and soul."

He lifted his head slightly and leaned back a bit, looking into your loving eyes as he spoke slowly, his tone full of disbelief. "Growing up, I've never asked for anything, ever, you're the only one I've come to hope for. But…can I really have hopes? Can I really? How can you love me like I am, all flawed, bad natured and always making you angry, weepy and fragile, a coward who has panic attacks over a tiny ring and is afraid of ridiculous things like thunder and rain……?"

You leaned forward to kiss him on the eye. All the way down from eyes to nose, from nose to lips. You took his bottom lip like you were treating the most precious treasure in the world. After a long moment, you released him, staring into his eyes, and whispered, "You always love to tease me and act tough in front of me. But underneath that mask of being the CEO of the Lee Corporation that you wear for outsiders, is a sensitive and gentle boy called Lee Minho, who is kind and funny. I've never met anyone like him, someone I could go from hating to loving. He's hurt, he's incomplete, he's got his fangs out for outsiders, and that's only because he's been hurt. That isn't the real him. What do you think? He just can't show that side of himself to everyone yet. You know what? My biggest wish right now is for that boy, Lee Minho, to see himself the way I see him. I wish he could see the shine in himself too. To be able to love himself as much as I love him and accept love from others."

You took a deep breath and cupped his face.

"It must be exhausting for him after all this hard work for so long. I want to tell him that he has done a great job. Now, it's time to relax, time to rest. Try to love yourself, even if it's hard. At least let me love you and not push me away. Accept me and we can take it slow. Just remember that I love you, Minho, I love you. Is that okay?"

He looks you in the eye with a smile you've never seen before, a beautiful smile. Obsidian-like eyes that twinkled with starlight. He nodded gently and continued to gaze at you tenderly.

"You love me."

"That's right, I love you."

"You are mine."

"That's right, I'm yours."

"Y/N…"

"Mmm?"

"I love you so much…"

Your lips pressed together once more.

That night you fell asleep together cuddled together, skin to skin, his arms wrapped around you, enveloping you in his body. His hand holding yours, fondling the engagement ring on your middle finger, whispering "I love you" in your ear as if he couldn't say it enough.

When you woke up the next day, you were still in the same position.

You woke up a little before he did and sat up to look out of the window. The sun was high in the sky and the sound of birds chirping could be heard in the distance. You knew that from today onwards, and for the rest of your life, you would have someone with you who you loved, and who loved you.

When you finished washing up and went back to bed again, Minho was awake too. He stretched out like a kitten, rubbing his eyes before looking at you and smiling. You tossed him his clothes and told him to get dressed before getting out of bed, and he teased you at first, but eventually obediently slipped on his shirt and briefs.

"Come here, Y/N, I want a cuddle…"

"Have you always been this clingy? Or is it just because of what happened last night?" Despite saying that, you obeyed his words all the same, going to sit down next to him and wrapping your arms around his neck.

He closed his eyes comfortably, enjoying your intimacy. "You'd better get used to it now, I'll be clinging to you for the rest of my life."

How wonderful would that be? To be by your loved one's side forever is something you've never wished for before. And now there he was, right in front of you, saying such romantic things. You still couldn't believe it, such a feeling of full happiness was something you never wanted to lose in your life.

Once the hug was over, he took your right hand and left a brief kiss on your ring, then looked up at you.

"I'll definitely find another opportunity to propose to you, formally, Y/N."

You froze for a moment and then smiled, "I forgot we weren't married until you mentioned."

He smiled back at that reply, interlocking his fingers with yours and resting his forehead against yours.

The position was exactly the same as last night when you first returned, but only ten hours later, your state of mind and your relationship, the level of intimacy, was completely different. You closed your eyes, wishing that this moment could be forever preserved in your memory.

"Going forward, nights with you will never be lonely again."

END

I seriously can't believe this is over... why am I kinda sad rn...

tag list: @helpsplease @fight-me-m8 @qtieskz @yubinism @ateez-babygirl @skzooo @chanstresour @aerastus @my-dark-happy-place @otwo @skylar27 @owls-and-stars @stay-here-dont-stray @analusanchez @cucu-skks @yoshiunova @lixielv @nctdom @endzii23 @lachimolalas-posts @xcookiemonsteer @chaoticroadwobblerhoagie @hyunjun-jpeg

[byunhaarmy]

MINHO ♡ THE MAGICAL STORY

[byunhaarmy]

mini Lee Know log 

[byunhaarmy]

LEE KNOW for BEAUTY+

[byunhaarmy]

changbin and that move.

[byunhaarmy]

hyunjin & felix ☽ dazed korea

[byunhaarmy]

Me: *reads Jojo manga*

Fight scene comes up

Me: *doesn't understand what's going on*

Me: it's fine I'll just watch the anime

Me after watching the animated version of the fight scene: *still doesn't understand what's going on*

[byunhaarmy]

“神메뉴” mv making film • minho

[byunhaarmy]

beyond live [UNLOCK] : SEUNGMIN

[byunhaarmy]

[byunhaarmy]

LEE KNOW 늑대와 미녀 (WOLF)

[byunhaarmy]

Okay hyunnie????

[byunhaarmy]

seungmin

[byunhaarmy]

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