c0nfessi9nal

[c0nfessi9nal]

Seriously if I die I get reduced to “lol mentally ill tranny drop in the bucket poser” but if I live with honesty I get outcasted and I only only only want to be accepted not seen a certain way have all the opinions you want but I’m a person.

[c0nfessi9nal]

Why am I seething w jealousy over someone in just as bad a spot as me if not a worse spot (idk bc no one ever gets to know me I try way too hard and end up alone I don’t want to perpetuate suffering I want friendship I want connection I want love but noooooo I’m overly sincere and too familiar w people so obviously I have some hidden agenda and also just suck)

[c0nfessi9nal]

sorry for mansplaining human dynamics it's not my fault that regardless of culture religion etc. etc. etc. humans are disgustingly predictable.

i wish it was boring but more often it's cruel. the "society" game is really fucking boring tho.

living with love isn't boring but it's ironically dangerous and lonely. so it goes, so it went.

[c0nfessi9nal]

Sombody clicker-train me who said that

[c0nfessi9nal]

i like posting things that would get us ripped to shreds by both the "mainstream" did ppl and the deniers, and having the satisfaction of not having the displeasure of encountering either group bc those circles are rlly easy to avoid actually

[c0nfessi9nal]

Syscourse is genuinely peak "first world problems" tbh....... everyone who has ever gotten angry abt it needs to go outside (like we did and it cured our addiction lol) i promise that no one irl cares xoxoxoxo

[c0nfessi9nal]

Two for two on our "too many people have lied on the internet abt this aspect of our identity so no matter how much confirmation we have we MUST keep it to ourselves" but it could be worse.

[c0nfessi9nal]

The past has never mattered less but UNDERSTANDING the past has never mattered more. What a disgusting paradox im so tired of explaining my "self."

[c0nfessi9nal]

"Stop looking at me like that" and it's just my normal face. Sigh.

[c0nfessi9nal]

This rest stop is so crowded i am raging

[c0nfessi9nal]

Sorry to crash out my brain made up a guy to be mean to me for the express purpose of staying isolated. It's working.

[c0nfessi9nal]

There are small ones here that like fighting. A concerning amount. It's.... i hate to say it since i care for them but. It's irritating. And scary. Especially when they think it's just play. When theyre around i feel no older than they do but i just want to hide.

[c0nfessi9nal]

Tear and Drop "me" as hard as you can

[c0nfessi9nal]

"Give up anger" mfs when assholes don't use their signal and bully them into going faster on the highway:

Uh um uh uh uh deep breaths and rest stops save me deep breaths and rest stops.

[c0nfessi9nal]

"Nobody likes how we think. It's messy and childish and stupid and comes across as fake and weird." Well. If they really knew you they wouldn't think that, I don't think. Besides. Input equals output.

I will try to be kinder to me.

[c0nfessi9nal]

I am not afraid of others' opinions alone but the violence oft used to justify opinions that rlly don't need to be violently enforced has me scrambling for a preventative measure. If that makes sense. Why should our friends not be safe? Why should we have to struggle for the respect constantly demanded of us as children? All of us.

Everyone we talk to is deserving of good things. We want to fight for that. Some things really are that simple.

And yet. Something gnaws at "me." That big, scary wolf.

no one loves the wolf. (Eh. Who am i to assume? Nobody. But what am i to assume? Experienced. Very experienced.)

Perhaps I take it all way too seriously.

[c0nfessi9nal]

i miss 'john'