cadmium-creme-egg
cadmium-creme-egg
Sad Elf Hours
62K posts
Beau - 30s - some kinda queer. Your local goth cowboy and Bethesda trash. Adverb Apologist.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
cadmium-creme-egg · 55 minutes ago
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cadmium-creme-egg · 2 hours ago
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How Orin probably sees the durgetash situation
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cadmium-creme-egg · 2 hours ago
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me dragging myself to the grocery store
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cadmium-creme-egg · 2 hours ago
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Wanted to try my hand at making some propaganda posters for the Minutemen.
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cadmium-creme-egg · 3 hours ago
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Sketch of a veteran decanus
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cadmium-creme-egg · 4 hours ago
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Affirmations
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cadmium-creme-egg · 5 hours ago
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Hey man, ahead of this heatwave I'm gonna go ahead and rip the veil off of something for you:
The reason American Southerners have the luxury of saying that 90 ain't that bad and it's not unbearable until it's 100 is 1) prolonged exposure to high temperatures over multiple decades 2) our mindset for these living conditions.
You don't have number 1, and you can't just acquire it, so I need you to adopt number 2 immediately. How do you live like a Southerner in the heat?
Don't be a hero.
Stay inside. Buy a box fan, put it next to a bucket of ice, and wrap your arms around it like a lover. Do not leave the shade under any circumstances. If a dude makes fun of you for getting out of the sun, don't get mad, just think of a funnier insult to call him while you flip him off and go stand under a tree.
Southerners love nothing more than to exaggerate and lie to each other. Like I think we got off on the wrong foot when you walked in on us saying things like "It was only 110, I didn't even take my damn jacket off" when really, last week it was 95 at 10 PM and we were on the bed buck nekkid in front of the fan moaning incoherently and praying to die. So yeah, we can take extreme heat. We also want you to think we can take ludicrous heat. You must learn to talk shit and then be a hypocrite and a coward in your actions, because this will serve you best.
It sounds like I am joking but I cannot express to you how much I am not. Do not fuck with Mother Nature, because that bitch will kill you. Take every opportunity to lower your body temperature and drink water, because that is what all of us in hot climates are doing all the time, and that is why we are not dead, even when it seems like we should be.
(And yeah, we do go through like two and a half ugly weeks in April every year where everyone wants to absolutely just goddamn drop dead because none of us have our heat tolerance back, but we must go to work anyway, which must be a crime. And yes, when it gets below 70 we really all do short circuit and cover ourselves in seven jackets, except for Shorts Guy.)
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cadmium-creme-egg · 5 hours ago
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American middle school: okay for gym class today we're going to learn how to square dance like a bunch of cowboys. The cookie monster pajama pants white trash girl and the most suicidal autistic boy will be going first
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cadmium-creme-egg · 5 hours ago
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everybody give it up for female characters who are WEIRD and OFFPUTTING. maybe even LOUD and UNAFRAID TO TAKE UP SPACE. round of applause. NOW.
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cadmium-creme-egg · 5 hours ago
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cadmium-creme-egg · 6 hours ago
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Ash Ghoul
Concept art for The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
Art by Michael Kirkbride
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cadmium-creme-egg · 6 hours ago
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oh god the ducks are entering summer molt it looks like someone destroyed some down pillows in the yard lol
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cadmium-creme-egg · 7 hours ago
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It’s up to you how you decide (cooked, raw, best shape, something else)—I just want to know what you think:
(Extra credit if you also add in the notes or tags what your LEAST favorite berry is. Inquiring minds want to know!)
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cadmium-creme-egg · 7 hours ago
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so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.
"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"
but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.
such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.
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cadmium-creme-egg · 7 hours ago
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cadmium-creme-egg · 8 hours ago
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ulysses ogre's branching out to different books now
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cadmium-creme-egg · 8 hours ago
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Sketches of Gale I did as a warm ups before work
He and Wyll always reminded me of Disney princes. So I tried to mimic that style of old Disney cartoons
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