caeliflammae

[caeliflammae]

The American consumer doesn’t actually want trucks and cars that are huge enough that you can’t see a six foot tall person over the hood. They make vehicles that big now to avoid environmental regulations related to engine efficiency

[caeliflammae]

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

[caeliflammae]

Throughout all of history, mankind has never created a more precise measuring tool than the infallible "eyeballin' it."

[caeliflammae]

Hey don't cry, okay? We just found Attenborough’s long-beaked echidna, a species thought to be extinct for the past 60 years.

[caeliflammae]

Frothing at the mouth every time I see a sex ed resource that says "use condoms" without any further elaboration. "Condoms prevent STIs and pregnancy in the vast majority of cases when used correctly" but then they don't talk about what correctly IS

Correct use of a condom means

Using the right size, because if it's too big it can slide off or leak and if it's too small it can break or come off. Condoms usually come in 5 sizes, I'm sure you could find others outside of that as well but in ten years of sex work I found they covered everyone

Using lube, even if you think you don't need it. With the exception of oral sex, condoms should always be used with lube, 100% of the time. Most important lube should be applied to the outside but a drop in the tip of the condom before putting it in is also a good idea

Being mindful that latex is prone to wearing out, being damaged by heat etc. Condoms should be kept somewhere cool, not folded in wallets or sat on in back pockets and should be changed between activities and after about 15 minutes of any vigorous activity. Ask me how I know (a condom snapped on my leg when a client was pulling out, because I didn't change it when I should have)

The penetrative partner should hold the base of the condom when they pull out, and should do so immediately after they ejaculate so the condom doesn't leak or come off as the penis gets flaccid

Bonus: a lot of people think hand stuff can't transmit STIs. Wrong! If you give your partner a handjob and then touch yourself you can get HPV, herpes (low risk), and infections like chlamydia and gonorrhea

This isn't meant to be stressful, and the most common STIs are the most treatable - and often curable - but getting gonorrhea in your eyes after a facial still extremely sucks and yet no one talks about the fact that any mucous membrane can be effected, not just your genitals (yes this includes your mouth and throat)

In ten years of doing sex work where I saw 10 clients a day most of the time I've had 4 condom fails ever. One was what I mentioned above when it snapped on my leg, one was a client on top of me didn't get off fast enough after he finished and the condom came off, and the other two were a Glyde brand magnum that was inexplicably twice the thickness of a regular condom and didn't stay put on anyone so I suggest just avoiding Glyde entirely (their water based lubes also stain fyi). With all other brands correct use = extremely safe

[caeliflammae]

writing my breaking bad remake where walter white pays for his cancer treatment with twitch streams but he’s equally secretive about it and jesse is his moderator and gus is a rival streamer anyway this is stupid

[caeliflammae]

for years i didnt know mlm ships were genrally more popular because i'd spent a signifigant portion of my teenage years consuming media like touhou and love live where there just. straight up arent any men that matter (rinnosuke does NOT count). so finding out a lot of other fandoms hated women was a culture shock like wdym...... i've been sheltered in my beautiful yuri paradise......

[caeliflammae]

i hope one day sam altman has to pay for what he is doing to society

[caeliflammae]

PSA gays: if you're wearing a mesh/lace shirt to a pride fest, sunscreen your whole chest/back before putting it on. I can't live to see another diva fall prey to sunburns with bizarrely specific patterns.

[caeliflammae]

i turn my clamification dial to 100% & the capital of the netherlands becomes clamsterdam. i turn it to 200% & it becomes clamsterclam

[caeliflammae]

[caeliflammae]

damn people rly hate type 2 diabetics don't they

[caeliflammae]

my favorite block on the aids quilt

[caeliflammae]

Right click -> save as -> ancient curse

[caeliflammae]

been building a collection of posts from like minded individuals

[caeliflammae]

why did that guy from the backstreet boys ask "am i sexual?" and why did his friends say yes

[caeliflammae]