caeliiii - Tumblr blog

[caeliiii]

Is it painful?

[caeliiii]

It is me again.

I'm back.

[caeliiii]

Why is it so easy to be sad than happy, huh?

[caeliiii]

The first time this year.

I can't sleep. I know for a fact that I am not sad, but not happy.

I feel restless but not sleepy.

I spent the entire night thinking what should I do to fall asleep.

I usually fall asleep while watching some videos online.

I also don't have an energy to decently talk to the guy I am friends with.

I somehow feel guilty about thinking when to ghost him or if I'll reach the point of ghosting.

My mind is so messed up. So is my financial and physical being.

Should I just give up?

[caeliiii]

I started crying from makati to pasay then from pasay to bacoor

[caeliiii]

Funny how I tried to overdose again but can't find the med so I proceed taking a bath. Soooo stupid

[caeliiii]

Yung quality time na inaask mo sa ibang tao, why not give it to yourself? After all, self-love is still love.

[caeliiii]

What's with 6 am at lagi akong naiyak. Hahahahaa is it the new 3 am? Hahahahahaha bye

[caeliiii]

Good for 30 mins cry.

[caeliiii]

I feel extra sad today. I think what happened yesterday is only part of my illusion and I should get out of there soon.

[caeliiii]

Just hold on.

[caeliiii]

Back to zero progress

[caeliiii]

Nakakapagod.

[caeliiii]

Madali lang sabihin na I'll do things for my mental health. Hindi ko magawa.

[caeliiii]

My mind should never be too happy.

[caeliiii]

Masama na pag tambay ko sa banyo. Naiisip ko na naman gawin yung mga bagay na di dapat gawin. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[caeliiii]

If you like someone, you tend to make scenarios on your head and create a different version of the story.