caelxin

[caelxin]

excerpt, thought: grief has been something between the beauty of love and something damn near catastrophic; sometimes it is watching the glistening surface of the waters, sometimes it is drowning and all i can do is swallow the salty waters.

[caelxin]

Grief, to me, is love turned stagnant (rotten!) — a love that, robbed of its object, has no place to go. It lingers within, unmoving, unflowing, and in its stillness, it begins to decay. This rot — the heaviness and stench of it — seeps into everything else that inhabits the same space: new loves, new experiences, new joys. All become veiled and tainted by this greedy sorrow. What I’ve come to realize is that to prevent this from happening, love must remain in motion. It must flow, even when the beloved — the person, place, or time passed long ago — is no longer there. How, then, do we keep this love flowing? One way is to allow ourselves to remember without resistance. Write about them. Create in their honor. Weave their presence into your days not as shadows, but as light that lingers. For love, when kept alive, cannot rot. It will ripple through you, through others, through rooms of space and the fabric of time, endlessly becoming.

grief is love (rotten!) /substack/

[caelxin]

the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself

[caelxin]

i love this family so bad . to the stars

acolyte - slaughter beach, dog | liam’s quest | grief lessons: four plays by euripides - anne carson | the legend of the cast of the legend of vox machina | the bright sword | the sorcerer’s stone | true blue - boygenius | long live - taylor swift | katfishdraws | liam’s quest

ib @shorthaltsjester

[caelxin]

brainstorm for my personal statement on casual familiarity and intimacy

credits: quora user Lee Sale // reddit user jessicAshley // mikko harvey's "for m" // joel ansett's "known and loved" // noah kahan's "orange juice" // jason isbell and the 400 unit's "if we were vampires" // grady's "freckles"

also this tag that made me gasp

[caelxin]

i lost a close friend in a really irregular, frustrating way recently. i lost a friend.

[caelxin]

i think i've always known you, in every life.

quietvoiced x / unknown / animal crossing / i will follow you into the dark, death cab for cutie / notes, jeff buckley / normal people / unknown

[caelxin]

May today be good to you—

May you know unexpected delights & pockets of restoration—

May you let the land hold you & may you be a little more kindly towards yourself.

[caelxin]

— Mary Kate Teske

[caelxin]

“It was an act of self-preservation — however misguided it was”.

[caelxin]

David Benioff, Troy

// Adapted from Homer, The Iliad

[caelxin]

— beau taplin

[caelxin]

— Nikita Gill

[caelxin]

[caelxin]

Franz Kafka, 1912

[caelxin]

Reminder that spring will always come back, music will never stop being created, and there are still so many books left to read! You’re alive! You’re alive! You’re alive!

[caelxin]

"I love you , I'm glad we're friends"