caesie

[caesie]

this is pretty belated but cassie’s been moved to my mess of a multi

[caesie]

he  was  always  smart  and  active.   he  was  always  the  top  student.   he  didn't  graduate  from  stanford  law  school  as  the  top  student,   but  he  got  good  grades.   on  top  of  that,   god  has  made  him   perfect  and  charismatic.   𝘸𝘩𝘰  𝘪𝘴  𝘵𝘩𝘦  𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦  𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨  𝘰𝘧  𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘦𝘭  ?    [      INDEPENDENT   JANG   HAN - SEOK   FROM   NETFLIX’S   VINCENZO.     ]     𝐢𝐭'𝐬   𝐦𝐞.         

[caesie]

gm besties <3 might be here today at some point.   i keep thinking i have nothing to do here when i have a full starter call to reply to and memes i haven’t even touched 🤡

[caesie]

Vivre sa vie (1962) dir. Jean-Luc Godard

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❛  there must be something you’re good at.  ❜               @iridescentaes​​

THE FAINT CLOUD OF SMOKE THAT BLANKETED   the sea of sweaty adolescent bodies,  pressed against each other in a vye for any morsel of attention,  made cassie’s eyes water.   or so she would tell anyone that would pass by and touch her arm to ask if she was enjoying herself.   with her college boyfriend engulfed in conversation and pretending she didn’t exist,  cassie found it hard to stomach   the infectious energy   of the party washed in strobing lights.   instead she turned to her favourite friend and   coping mechanism:   cheap alcohol and a healthy serving of avoidance.   the red solo cup sat flush against her chest,  and she barely recalled when maeve had settled into place beside her.   which inevitably meant that cassie had found herself in the   i’d-rather-not-be-here corner   of the event  —  the corner where all the miserable people wound up to avoid bumping into their ex or after a failed attempt at getting their dick wet.   not exactly what she had been going for that night,   but fuck it   if she cared anymore.

maeve wasn’t the   worst   company she could ask for,  but maeve made her think more than she usually had to under the influence of hard liquor.   she wondered what it felt like to have a brain that constantly came up with the important questions,   it would surely tire cassie out.   she gently pressed the rim of her cup against glossed lips,  careful not to smear the meticulously applied cherry lip tint.   ❝   i guess,  uh,  ❞   it was clear that no one had ever asked cassie such a question.   most people didn’t ask cassie much overall.   she was seen and not heard,  and that’s how   all the boys   liked her.   she had grown up cooed and cawed at for her beauty,  and she had learned at a young age that pretty girls didn’t need anything except their dazzling smiles and doll eyes.   she was good at that,   being pretty.   being a sight for sore eyes and a strong medicine for sore hearts.   but she didn’t think that was the thought provoking answer maeve was looking for.

❝   skating ?   ❞   she had blurted out the first thing that had come to mind and instantly felt the claws of anxiety sink into her stomach.   cassie didn’t talk about skating with other people often,  a secret she enjoyed keeping to herself.   but she was too far in now,   and not even the shake of her head could swallow the words she had already spoken.   ❝   well,  like,  i don’t know if i’m   good   at skating.   but i like it,  does that count ?   ❞   slow words tumbled off her lips and they didn’t show any signs of stopping once she had started.   ❝   i don’t do it much anymore,  but I used to   when I was younger.   ❞

[caesie]

𝘈𝘛     𝘓𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘛  ,     𝘐'𝘔     𝘓𝘖𝘝𝘌𝘋.   selective  and  private      cassie  howard      of    hbo’s  euphoria.     sensitive  material  will  be  present.   as  loved  by    tas.

[caesie]

just a reminder that I’ll put in my rules and pinned when I rework it, but I likely will not be tagging substance use (i.e drugs, alcohol) on this blog due to the prevalence of the topic in the source material. please do follow keeping that in mind !

[caesie]

TAS LOML

LOLA LOML

[caesie]

𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦   𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵   𝘸/   𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘴

[caesie]

the  society   verse .   when west ham disappears,  cassie is quick to join the parties and the merriment.   a world without parents was a world without rules,  other binds,  restrictions.   but as the reality dawns on them,  cassie is made to realize how woefully unprepared she is to take care of herself,  and a younger sister at that too.   not meant to be a leader,  cassie falls into step with ease,  grateful to have someone else calling the shots.   as a previous cheerleader,  she’s closest to the the football crowd and tends to gravitate more towards her fellow cheerleaders and jocks.   while her and allie have butt heads more often than not,  she doesn’t mind cassandra’s leadership.   the little civilization they’ve built begins to fall apart when cassandra’s shot,  and cassie no longer feels the same level of comfort with allie taking the reins.   though she continues to leave mainly peacefully,  without causing much of a fuss,  she is one of the few that doesn’t mind the small coup and is more than willing to support lexie and harry’s takeover.

[caesie]

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg - Jacques Demy (1964)

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the way the fandom thinks cassies the one thats out of pocket for freaking out at the play is so gross to me. lexis experience as her sister is valid but that doesn’t make it ok to put her sisters biggest regrets and shames on blast like that

[caesie]

verses to come for cassie : the society, scream, fear street.

[caesie]

euphoria dialogue prompts ,

“i put up a good fight, but i lost.”

“you know i spent my whole life trying to keep this part of me separate?”

“how do you decide who you wanna hook up with?”

“this is why the world keeps getting worse.”

“everyone knows who I am.”

“you think ‘cause i went to rehab i stayed clean?”

“i hate seeing you sit in the chair my dad sat in.”

“everybody gets their feelings hurt.”

“i thought that i was doing what was best for everybody.”

“at some point, you have to make a choice about who you are and what you want.”

“kissing is worse. it’s so much more intimate.”

“the world went quiet, and i felt safe in my own head.”

“go fuck yourself.”

“i know nothing about you.”

“it’s about putting your all into everything you do.”

“say what you want about christians, at least they believe in forgiveness.”

“forgiveness is the key to change.”

“it’s not a relapse if it’s warranted. it’s a hall pass.”

“maybe people are nostalgic about high school 'cause it’s, like, the last time in their life that they get to dream.”

“you are a part of me I will never understand.”

“when you’ve let someone down again and again, i think it’s fair to lose a little faith.”

“it’s one thing to dislike your parents, it’s not like you have a choice. but if you dislike your kid, well, that’s sort of your fault.”

“what are you, like, fucking tony montana?”

“the problem with hating yourself is you can’t really talk about it.”

“should I be concerned?”

“now you got a whole bunch of people running around who don’t give a fuck about redemption.”

“if you tell me what drugs you’re doing, i’ll tell you what drugs i’m doing.”

“you just can’t be mad at me for wanting you to be okay.”

“selfishly, i hope you stay.”

“you may have won the game, but you lost control of the team.”

“i don’t want to be that old guy that gives you advice, but i look at you and i think there are two versions of how your life can go.”

“sometimes two people in the universe who aren’t meant for each other find each other.”

“i just wanted to dream about it for a minute.”

“the farther you go, the sharper their blade.”

“it was like there was no more air left in the world And i was gasping, and i was panicking.”

“i think i’m going to do everything in my power for at least, like the next three years, not to fall in love.”

“they don’t actually want a person, they want something they can own and possess.”

“i kind of feel closer to you than i do anyone in the world.”

“i’ve got an idea.”

“some people need to get their feelings hurt sometimes.”

“reducing someone’s life to a moment, an ugly moment, and punishing them for it? that’s what cops do. it’s actually what everyone does.”

“i fucking hate this town.”

“i definitely haven’t reached my full power.”

“i’m extremely confused.”

“when you hate your brain and your body, it’s hard to enjoy the rest.”

“i wasn’t going to stop until I got the truth.”

“i don’t know what type of fucked up shit you got going inside your head.”

“when you’re younger, everything feels so permanent.”

“i feel like you ruined me forever.”

“why do you look like that?”

“i’m envious of your generation, you know.”

“what do you think this is, the eighties? catch a dick.”

“do you think this stuff affects them? even if they don’t know it?

“most of the time, i really hate the way you make me feel.”

“i It’s funny how I used to think we were meant for each other.”

“nudes are the currency of love.”

“i love the theater.”

“first of all, ew. second of all, ew.”

“i just hope it didn’t teach you the wrong lesson.”

“i want you to wanna kiss me so bad that you don’t even ask.”

“i’m not saying i’m gonna have a baby.”

“i’m a rogue, i march to the beat of my own drum.”

“just don’t ever give them an opening.”

“this shit is hard and confusing.”

“you fell in love with someone who spent years making fun of you. it’s sad.”

“you did this to me!”

“the last thing you need is to feel worse because you’re not feeling something you’re supposed to feel.”

“do you wish i was different?”

“you’ve got to believe in the poetry because everything else in your life will fail you. even yourself.”

“real love is when you can’t exist without someone, when you’d rather die than be apart.”

“plenty of great, intelligent, funny, interesting, and creative people have struggled with the same things you struggle with.”

“i don’t know how to help.”

“you’re never really emotionally prepared for someone to leave you.”

“i feel like love is super dark and no one ever talks about it.”

“you’re my new favourite person.”

“your whole fucking life’s a secret.”

“they’re basically the most wonderful fucking person on the planet.”

“i guess i just wanted to hurt you as much as i imagined you’d hurt me.”

“i mean, i’m all good with drugs until guns start coming out.”

“the universe is just out here giving like zero fucks.”

“no room for heteronormativity in here.”

“what’s a bigger feeling than love?”

“listen to yourself. it’s fucking exhausting.”

“i know this isn’t going to end well.”

“i ruined my entire life for you.”

“you do what feels good to you.”

“you know what? fuck it. fuck it, i’m going to the police.”

“i feel like high school is super fucking suffocating.”

“the thing about confidence is no one knows if it’s real or not.”

“this is the feeling i have been searching for my entire life, for as long as i could remember.”

“you do what feels good to you.”

“every time i feel good, i think it’ll last forever, but it doesn’t.”

“open the door!”

“i know over the years you’ve lost some brain cells.”

“you guys don’t care as much about the rules.”

“you look like a cat coughed your ass up.”

“as you get older, you begin to realize nothing is permanent and everyone you love can drift away.”

“the more you move up in the world, the more enemies you make.”

“is one of us gonna get hurt?”

[caesie]

will i regret this in the morning ?  maybe.   but   starter call.

[caesie]

figure  skater  verse .   cassie howard had stopped figure skating for an extensive period of time when the bills racked up and her family strained under the pressure of fulfilling her expensive hobby.   but skating was the only place she could clear her head,  and more often than not,  she would find herself in her school’s rink in an attempt to teach herself.   self taught lessons didn’t take her far,  and before long,  she yearned to be able to do the tricks and turns she saw on tv.   cassie begins working part time as a waitress to afford her own lessons.   it takes a toll on her schooling,  and in between juggling her social life,  work,  and skating,  her grades begin to drop.   with her father gone and her mother drinking away her days,  there’s no one left to be berate her for her schoolwork.   so as her teachers begin to call her in for extra credit,  cassie continues to focus all her energy on skating.   before long,  the money she earns from competitions outweighs the tips she makes as she pretends to be older than eighteen for the men who slink in and out of the restaurant.   she quits her job,  and officially tells her mother and sister her aspirations.   with their support she just barely keeps her college grades up to par while working towards her career as a professional figure skater.   she becomes a decorated athlete,  and is known for her beauty both on and off the ice.

[caesie]

[i'm terrified that if i try my hardest i still won't be good enough]