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Christ mas

Christmas is over... and so are the captions that refer to every classic Christmas film alive.

Ever since I worked in retail, I quickly grew over the consumerism and irrational craze over the holidays and how the true meaning of Christmas has been overshadowed by greed and other stupid things.

I’ve had a self-righteous attitude lately, telling myself I won’t give into the sinful, awful habits that this holiday brings.

“I’m going to remember Jesus this season! Cos He da troo reason for the season!”

Pish posh...

Even though I didn’t go crazy holiday shopping or make a greedy self-absorbed Christmas wish-list... I realized still how entitled I had grown when it came to “the holidays”.

I had to work Christmas Eve this year and all I could think to myself was, “Ugh, I can’t believe I have to work. It’s Christmas Eve!”

On Christmas Day, I didn’t have much time to myself, which is how I prefer to spend a day-off. Instead, the day was full of festivities with family on both my side and my hubby’s side. As much as I love family, I again felt my heart grumbling, “Why can’t I just sleep in? Why can’t I just rest today? It’s Christmas!”

Then I realized... By grace alone...

QURL, you are such an entitled, spoiled brat. Just because your actions did not reflect the greed of most consumers this Christmas, your heart and attitude was no better... Whoever said Christmas was a day for YOU? Whoever said Christmas was a day for YOU to DESERVE a break, or anything for that matter?

My self-righteous attitude was quickly humbled, again.

Thank you Jesus for coming to a world that did not deserve you. Thank you Jesus to come be with a people who did not and still does not want to be with you. Thank you Jesus for coming to remind us that everyday is Your day because it was given by you. I need you more Jesus. More of you, less of me.

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Becky

Let’s taco bout something!

I recently started re-watching Glee and this particular relationship stood out to me...

There’s something so special, and so important about Sue’s relationship with Becky. Here’s why.

Becky has Down Syndrome. Sue does not. This does not get in the way of them developing a deep friendship.

This is important because, unfortunately, people still hold a prejudice and the misconception that people with disabilities are incapable of forming intimate, meaningful relationships or relationships beyond mother-child or therapist-client relationships. This is absolutely false.

Sue treats Becky just like she would any other student.

This is also important because it also highlights the subtle prejudice that Will Schuester, a super kind, decent human being, unintentionally holds. Will catches Sue pushing Becky to improve her jump-rope skills, yelling at her and making snarky comments to push her to try harder. This is typical of Sue, but Will is not having it. He tells her that her actions are unacceptable and she needs to stop with whatever ulterior motives she may have in taking in Becky into her cheer squad. Sue then replies to Will, saying, “Did you ever stop to think that she might just want to be treated like any other student?” This take Will aback. He’s the one who immediately saw her disability and felt the need to extend sympathy, whereas Sue saw her as a human being who just deserved to be treated equally.

I think so many times, people have an instinct to baby people with special needs. I’ve noticed that without the education and exposure, people don’t really know how to act around someone with a disability or difference.

Sometimes, the best way to advocate for someone with special needs, is not to “protect” them, but to simply treat them as an equal.

“And that’s how Sue sees it”

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Siriusly...? Ch. 1

I recently came across a heinous youtube video titled...

Yea...

I recommend you watch it for yourself to grasp where my anger and irritation is coming from.

But to sum it up, the youtuber (who shall not be named and slandered here because they don’t need any more undeserved attention) basically went on to judge every single move of Daigle’s, to call out how she “supports satanists” and so on and so forth, all because she went to a Taylor Swift concert and wore an apparently incredibly immodest outfit on live television (pitcured above) W. T. F.

Lauren Daigle recently came out with a new album titled, “Look Up Child” that not only hit the top of the charts in the Christian & Gospel Music Industry, but also in the secular charts! Since then, she’s been debuting at big-time talk shows including The Ellen Show, and The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. This is a huge deal.

However, ever since the spotlight hit her, I’ve noticed she’s been getting an awful lot of criticism, from the “Christian” community. Not only is this ironic, but it’s freaking embarrassing. I’ve been watching videos of her interviews and performances, and a majority of the comments seem to be coming from so-called proclaimed Christians shaming her for not giving credit to Jesus and not talking about God in her interviews. Basically, she’s being shamed for “not using her talent to glorify God” and now, according to one YouTuber, she’s being called an “enemy of God”. W. T. F.

First of all, I do not know Lauren personally, therefore, I do not know where she stands in her walk with the Lord.

Second of all, I do believe that those who have a platform in the public eye, especially followers of Christ, do need to have wisdom in the way they carry themselves and discernment in their actions because of the amount of people you can influence and also stumble.

With that said, however, until YOU are in the public eye, until YOU are given a crazy platform almost overnight, until YOU are in HER shoes, don’t you dare shame a fellow believer for not using their platform for “God’s glory” because it doesn’t align to YOUR playbook, YOUR theology, and YOUR worldview.

The fact that she’s being shamed for her “provocative” dress is embarrassing. Modesty is relative. (That’s a whole other topic in itself, don’t even get me started) The fact that she’s being shamed for happily presenting an award to a “satanist”, making her a satanist, is embarrassing. Cut the crap, dude.

I’m just so mind-boggled at the backlash towards someone who is purely using their music to lift up others and preach the gospel in a way that may not look as conventional as other methods.

If you’re still concerned, PRAY FOR THE WOMAN, goodness gracious... stop the judgment, stop the lies, stop the assumptions, stop the rumors.

Anyway, Lauren, I love you. Keep making beautiful music. As someone classic would say...

“LEAVE LAUREN ALONE”

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“if you’ve met one person with autism...”

You’ve only met one person with autism.

Yesterday, I was asked if my clients are all like the Rain Man, all genius in some way or another. I had a lot to say, but to be straightforward over the casual brunch we were having, I simply said, “That’s not usually the case.”

Here’s what I wish I said:

+ Autism is a neurological condition/difference. You cannot “look” autistic. It is also considered a spectrum disorder, meaning it looks different in every single person it affects.

+ Films have a history of glamorizing/overexaggerrating the autism experience, hence everyone’s misunderstanding that every person with autism will be a hand-flapping, unempathetic savant in math or music. This is entirely not the case, although there is the possibility you may meet someone who meets the above criteria. Just don’t assume it.

+ Some individuals are fine with, and sometimes prefer, to be called the autistic girl/boy/person. (This is using ability-first language) Others prefer to be recognized as that girl/boy/person with autism. (This is using person-first language) Don’t be afraid to ask the individual, or the individual’s parents if they are unable to speak for themselves.

+ On that note, don’t assume an individual that lacks eye contact or high-functioning language is incapable of speaking and thinking for themselves. Take the time to listen. You’d be surprised, I guarantee it. If need be, enter their world, don’t expect them to enter yours.

+ Anyone affected by a disability/difference of any kind is simply DIFFERENT, not LESS. Treat everyone with the dignity they deserve as a human being.

I used to carry a sense of self-righteousness, pride and judgment when I would see others feel uncomfortable or even be intolerant and just plain mean to individuals with disabilities.

My mind would resort to thoughts such as, “You rude, intolerant, messed up human!” or “How could you say those things??”

And honestly, I still struggle with these thoughts when I see intolerance, fear and judgment towards the community of individuals with different abilities.

But I’ve come to realize that humans just have a tendency to be afraid or uncomfortable with who or what they don’t know.

It was through this simple realization that I came to the conclusion that intolerance shouldn’t be combated with more intolerance or judgment. Educate the person making rude comments. It could be their defense mechanism for their sense of confusion and fear of what they don’t know. They may genuinely just not know any better. Kill them with kindness. And if they still don’t show kindness or understanding in return, baptize them with scalding hot coffee and a prayer and walk away.

Just kidding.

Kind of.

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love me love me love me

I recently watched a classic comedy, Bruce Almighty (Thank you Netflix) and as always, cringed at the blasphemous theme, but also laughed ‘till I cried when Bruce used his God-Almighty powers to control Evan Baxter’s on-air report (”blaksdjhflksjf goo-goo gaga!!”). If you know, you know. 

But as blasphemous as this movie is, there are some key moments that reflect some absolute biblical truths and actually, and accurately, touch upon the character of God. 

This being the fiftieth or so time watching this movie, this one scene specifically stood out to me for the first time. 

Bruce had come to a point where he used and abused all his God-given powers to boost his career, his name, his success. However, at the end of the day, this led to a fall in his relationship with his girlfriend, Grace (played by the beautiful Jennifer Aniston, whom my husband so likes... *cough). ANYWAY. Bruce comes to see Grace at her pre-school to see how she is doing since she moved out after catching Bruce in a moment of infidelity. He is genuinely apologetic, but she, still freshly wounded and heartbroken, walks away and tells him to leave. 

It’s in this moment that Bruce attempts to use his almighty power to force her to love him. He literally shouts, “LOVE ME!” But Grace glances back at him, completely unaware of the “power” he actually has, and responds, “I did,” and continues to walk away. For the first time since he left that white building endowed with all of God’s powers, Bruce feels powerless. 

He seemed to have forgotten the rules that God laid out for him while they were taking a stroll... on water. (yeah... they went there) 

“Rule #1 You can’t tell anybody you’re God.  Rule #2 You can’t mess with free will.”

At the near-end, when Bruce is at an ultimate low, sulking in his wet apartment, Morgan Freeman, AKA God, pays him a visit and Bruce asks him the question: 

“How do you make somebody love you without affecting free will?”

God proceeds to scoff, and responds, “Welcome to my world, son.” 

I love this aspect of the film because it really reflects the heart of God, and his character. I believe he has the ability to turn a heart of stone into a heart of flesh. I believe he has the ability to turn wicked people to turn to his face. 

But at the end of the day, His desire is for us to freely choose Him. His desire is for us to desire Him. It makes me wonder how much his heart breaks, daily, seeing His people desire the things of the world, when he has a banqueting table to offer us if we simply choose Him? As much as I’m not a fan of Jim Carrey, his portrayal of a desperate lover (to the point of craziness, literally) just deeply desiring the love in return of the one his soul loves, paints such a small, small glimpse into the heart of God and the jealousy He has for us over the things of the world. 

Just a thought I had over a strange comedy. 

Currently drinking an americano @ AoSA Coffee on a B-E-A-Utiful day. 

And that’s the way the cookie crumbles. 

(If you’re completely confused, please refer to the film to catch up on every reference made in this post. Kthnxbai.)

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currently drinking: 12oz americano with a chocolate chip cookie

I’ve always known I wanted to work closely with individuals with special needs ever since I was in junior high. I had a simple encounter with a girl during a mission trip in To’Hajiilee, New Mexico, and the image of her is still deeply ingrained in my memory, 10+ years later. She was non-verbal, and unable or unwilling to participate in any group activities. Somehow, I ended up being her friend throughout the week. However, more than this friendship that stood out to me, it was my reaction to the endless comments I got from everyone around me.

“You’re so patient...”

“I could never do what you’re doing...”

It felt strange because to me, it just made sense. She was different, and needed some extra assistance, and I had an extra hand to lend to her. But this common knowledge to me didn’t seem so common after all, and so that encounter stuck with me long after the trip ended and I never saw her face again.

I went on to high school, and on to college, constantly struggling with wondering, “what can I do with my life?”

Eventually I learned about the practice of Applied Behavior Analysis, and that someone can actually have a job helping children with autism and other intellectual and developmental disabilities. Yes, as an Asian American, this was unheard of. (It didn’t help knowing that this was also a fairly new field.) I knew immediately that this would be my post-grad plan. And then I got involved with Best Buddies, the best non-profit organization in the entire world. Not exaggerating.

Best Buddies is an organization that strives for inclusion and advocates for the well-being of individuals affected by Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (IDD) through job training and employment programs and friendship programs. It was through this organization that my heart for advocacy began.

Upon graduation, I got a job as a behavior technician as planned, and have been in the field for approximately two years. Within those two years, I had the opportunity to work at a private school and manage an after-school kindergarten classroom. It was this experience and the ones before it that brought me to the journey I’m on today.

As much as I love my job, I’ve come to realize my passion in helping individuals with special needs isn’t aligned with being in a clinical setting, as amazing and effective as it is. At the end of the day, my heart is to advocate on behalf of this community, and I know in my heart of hearts that I desire to do this through the platform of an educator. Not only will I have the opportunity to directly educate the children in my own classroom, but I will have exposure to students outside of my own classroom and the faculty and staff around me. I can be naive and say I’m going to change the hearts and minds of everyone around me to create an inclusive environment wherever I go, but I am highly aware of just how lonely and difficult the journey will be. Special education teachers and programs tend to be the bottom of the barrel in public education settings (blessings on highly funded programs elsewhere) but change has to start somewhere, and I believe it starts with someone willing to get their hands dirty, and have their feet stuck in the mud for a while.  

Who knows, everything can change once I start school. But I’m excited to see where this journey leads me. Unknown life changes, here I come! 

(P.S. This is the long story, made short. Buy me time with coffee and I’ll spill the rest.)

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here’s to simple intros

who

I’m Lois, your average millennial, here to blab about my thoughts and opinions, usually over a cup of Joe. Currently journeying to become an educator to children with special needs, but more on that for another day, another blog. 

why

I’m pathetically uneducated when it comes to all things politics (which is socially unacceptable in this climate, I know, don’t shame me pls), passionate and eager to advocate for the special needs community, a little too churched, and very eager to learn. I believe healthy conversations pave the way to understanding. With that said, I’m here to educate peeps on what I know, get debunked on what I think I know, and learn about what I really don’t know. 

where

I’ll be posting my thoughts on this Tumblr, and posting other random thoughts on Instagram (@caffeinatedmusings <-- #plugplugplug). Follow along if you’d like!