caged-in-solitude

[caged-in-solitude]

"You are the series of mistakes that had to happen for you to find you"

Me? I'm just another ordinary person.

20xx, ghost town.

My name is Reign Hawthorne, Reign as my first name, Hawthorne as my surname. You can call me Reign or Rei, I personally like the sound of Reign, music to my ears. I don't have a lot to say about myself. For all I can remember I have been leading a mundane life for longer than 24 years, nothing out of the ordinary, I'm not someone who stood out in the crowd nor I have placed interest in something that makes me especially unique compared others. However, in all the years I have lived, I have met wonderful people, some of them left an impression that's hard to forget and some others left something for me to remember.

Like how one of them told me about my natal chart, it was intriguing, to say the least. I remembered they told me I'm a Libra moon and how it is different from being a Libra sun, something like that. There is this thing too, it's popular these days, a personality typology called MBTI. I admit I took the test out of my own curiosity and it showed me INTP as the result. "To you, life is an ongoing inquiry into the mysteries of the universe.", it says. I resonate strongly with the outcome, to me, life is a mystery spiralling with twists and turns. No really one knows where life will take us, and so we start to wonder and worry. The longer we stayed, the more we wonder, and our worries only grow bigger with each passing day. Don't you agree?

[caged-in-solitude]

"Whatever our souls are made of,"

Traveling down memory lane, I realized I'm never much of a hobbyist. I have placed interest in this and that, most of them are short lived and one day I would start placing my interest again on the thing I have abandoned for a while. Doesn't know where to settle, indecisive, you name it.

"To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out is a spark." – Victor Hugo

When do you first learn how to read? To spell out each letter from a word? I remembered clearly, the first book I picked up myself was one with a bright yellow cover, a thin book that doesn't have many pages, ink printed on natural uncoated papers, only containing simple instruction how to read. I was determined to learn and finally able to read a full sentence on my own after driving my father's patience to the edge for two weeks long.

Books I have read so far:

Therapy by Sebastian Fitzek

The Maze Runner by James Dashner

The Scorch Trials by James Dashner

The Death Cure by James Dashner

The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt

Love for Imperfect Things by Haemin Sunim

The Woman in the Window by A. J. Finn

5cm by Donny Dhirgantoro

Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami

Murder in Mesopotamia by Agatha Christie

Atomic Habits by James Clear

The Alchemist  by Paulo Coelho

I have read more books beside ones I have listed above. But alas, my memory has disappoint me.

"When life ends up breathtakingly fucked, you can generally trace it back to one big, bad decision. The one that sent you down the road of shitsburg." – Wade Wilson

I still laugh at myself every time I remember that the first time I went to a cinema was when I sneaked out with my highschool friends and came back home to give my mother a heart attack after she found out her child was no longer the infant she once craddled every night to sleep. My childhood was spent on the rural area where there was nothing but woodland and cliffs and so when my family first move out to the town, my curiosity got the better of me.

Movies/Series I have watched so far:

Harry Potter series

The Chronicles of Narnia series

MCU movies

Hotel Mumbai

The Silence of the Lambs

The Conjuring, The Conjuring 2

Annabelle

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Bird Box

Insidious series

The Nun

The Curse of La Llorona

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Little Women

Kingsman series

The time passes by while I watch scene by scene unfold before my eyes will always be enchanting, thus the list will goes on for as long as the tip of my finger click on the play button and the movie starts. Same case as the books I have read, my brain seem to unable to recollect some of movies title I have watched. Long sigh.

"I don’t want to conquer anything. I just think the guy with the most freedom in the entire ocean is the Pirate King." – Monkey D. Luffy

Was it the time around 2nd grade of junior highschool when I first start placing my interest in anime and manga? No, I think it was before that, probably around 5th or 6th year of elementary school. My mother would let me sit in front of TV every day after I finished my study to watch Naruto and my father would allow me to pick a new comic every three months as a reward. It's a memory that's easy and pleasant to remember.

Anime/Manga I have watch/read:

Naruto

One Piece

Bleach

Kimetsu no Yaiba

Jujutsu Kaisen

Shingeki no Kyojin

Tokyo Ghoul

The Promised Neverland

Inuyasha

Rurouni Kenshin

Ajin

Kakegurui

Moriarty the Patriot

Death Note

K Project

Ansatsu Kyoushitsu

Hori-san to Miyamura-kun

Spy × Family

It is very likely that I have forgotten a few titles due the passage of time. I wish I could remember every single one of it so that I can go back and rewatch.

It's not always been the case, but lately I find myself enjoying a quiet time, sitting alone on a comfortable chair in my room, scrolling through my phone with my newfound hobby of reading manhwa or doing puzzles, sometimes I simply sat and play a music playlist then I start to space out. For a brief moment, I feel at ease.

[caged-in-solitude]

"Do you think the universe fight for souls to be together?"

To be honest, I'm worried that I might have written too long of an introduction and bore you. I'm hoping that won't be the case. Insert awkward laughter.

Please bear with me, I will only add a little more. The last part but not the least. Do you know a saying like this, "Don't say maybe if you want to say piss off." No? Never heard of it? Don't worry, I made it up just now. I have learnt that setting boundaries is a part of self-respect because without boundaries it's hard to tell what's good or not for me and therefore, I wish to respect myself. Do not engage with my account if you are a homophobe, often seeking attention in unhealthy slash problematic way, did not think that being racist is a problem, insensible and apathetic person. In addition to this, I would appreciate it if minors can help themselves by staying away from my account in consideration of your innocent youth.