cailynwrites

[cailynwrites]

8th year secret kisses 💋

[cailynwrites]

so the thing about english is that people think it's so divorced from other germanic languages based on like. words. I've even heard people try to insist that english is a romance language. because of that whole messy business in 1066 with out-of-wedlock willy and his band of naughty normans. and now a good chunk of the vocabulary is french or whatever and they're prestigious so not using them makes you sound like a rube and this and that and the other

and yes william the conqueror will never be safe from me. I will have my revenge on him. he fucked up a perfectly good germanic language is what he did. this will be me in hell

but the thing is that most words in, say, german do have a one to one english equivalent. not all hope is lost, for those who still dare to see it. it's just that you 1066pilled normancels aren't looking in the right place

dog (en) ≠ der Hund (de) but der Hund (de) -> hound (en)

look with your special eyes. that one was easier. not all of them are this intuitive because of semantic narrowing and broadening and waltzing and hokey-pokeying and whatever else. I'll give you a few more

animal (en) ≠ das Tier (de)

aha! you think. I've got him on the ropes now.

but then

das Tier (de) -> deer (en)

nooooo!! you whine and cry in gay baby jail. the consonants are different!!! listen to me. listen, I say, putting both my hands on your shoulder. /t/and /d/ are the same sound. you just put your voice behind one of them.

nooooooooo!! you wail. deer are animals but not all animals are deer!!! listen to me. LISTEN. they used to be. animals used to be deer. that's just what we called them. it was a long time ago. it was a weird time in all our lives. it's okay.

let's try for a verb this time

to die (en) ≠ sterben (de) but sterben (de) -> to starve

same principle with the consonants, we're just changing a stop (where we completely stop the airflow and then let it through) for a fricative (where we still let some air go through. idk where it's going. maybe to its job or something.)

to starve used to mean generally to die, not just to die of malnourishment. we do that a lot. we take one word for a lot of things and make it mean one thing. or take one word for one thing and make it mean a lot of things. this is common and normal.

"okay but roland," you say, suddenly coming up with an argument. "what about tree? trees are super common. I don't think we'd fuck around too much with that. the german word is baum! what about THAT?"

"when did you learn german?" I ask, but then decide it isn't relevant right at this very moment. but fine.

tree (en) ≠ der Baum (de) but der Baum (de) -> beam (en)

beam??? you ask incredulously. beam???? BEAM?????? you continue with the same tone and cadence of captain holt from brooklyn 99.

yes. beam. like the evil beams from my eye I'm going to hit you with if you don't stop shouting.

but the vowels!!! you howl.

listen. listen to me. the vowels mean nothing. absolutely nothing. they're fluid like water. it got raised in english.

"WHAT DOES RAISED MEAN"

it doesn't matter right now. they were raised better than you, at least. stop shouting. open your eyes and see what god has given you. they're the same word.

"they're NOT the same word. they mean different things!"

we've been over this. they didn't used to. a beam was (and is) a long solid piece of wood. much like the long solid piece of wood I showed your mother last night.

FAQ:

Q: could english be some kind of germanic-romance hybrid?

A: do you become a sexy thing from the black lagoon just because you dressed up as one for halloween? english may have gotten a lot of vocabulary from norman french, but its history and syntax are distinctly germanic. that's what we base these things on.

Q: okay but what does it matter? this doesn't actually affect my day to day life

A: you come into my house? you come into my house, the house of an autistic man living in vienna austria and studying english linguistics and you ask me what does it matter? sit back down. I was going to let you go but now I have powerpoints to show you

Q: you're stupid and wrong and gay and a bad person

A: I know it's you, Willy

[cailynwrites]

people who are just finding out about internet tracking and data mining in the year 2025 and that your special robot friend does not respect your privacy lol

[cailynwrites]

lostdrarryfics monthly roundup - May 2025

Below you will find the requests we could not locate in the month of May. Please let us know if you recognize any!

You can also browse our lengthy lost fic masterlist, where we have compiled every request we have been unable to find over the past few years. We're always hoping someone will recognize a fic so we can let the asker know what It was!

1. 8th year fic. I think it was explicit. Harry arrives back at school after being numb and depressed and sits down at the 8th year table next to Draco. When Ron asks him what he’s doing he says something like: I am doing what makes me feel something for the first time in a long time. And then Dean or Seamus outright say that he thinks that Harry is obsessed with Malfoy because he has a crush on him. Afterwards Harry and Draco get assigned to the same room and pretty much have sex right away. And I think Ron catches them. It wasn’t a very long fic but I just can’t find it anymore.

2. completed fic where snape Draco and Harry are a throuple, post war. At the beginning Harry realised that the snap and Draco are not paying him enough attention and after finding out he is pregnant he broaches the subject of kids and snape says he doesn’t want any. This sends Harry spiraling and since Draco and snape are so wrapped up in eachother they don’t notice that Harry leaves and disappears. They start to realise after a while that Harry isn’t coming back and start to panic. They look for him everywhere and when they finally find him he’s about to give birth.

3. I only remember one part, so Harry was the Top in the relationship (Drarry), Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were not on good terms so to speak. Draco had ordered spider silk robes and three of them were trying to get the business to give them the spider silk robes but the woman wouldn't give them it so they asked Harry to use his celebrity status since he was picking them up for Draco (I know they would never act like that in canon) anyway he ended up taking it back to Draco I read it I believe it was Ao3 in fact I think I'm positive of that.

4. Edwardian era FemHarry/Draco fic Fake Marriage of Convenience To Appease Draco's Grandmother. On Fanfiction.net. Unfinished at the time I read it (at least five years ago). No magic. The fic starts off with Harry (Harriet?) living with the Weasleys in what I'm pretty sure is the Edwardian era (specified in an author's note). Harry was mostly raised by her bachelor godfather until Sirius died and then was taken in by the Weasleys. I kind of remember Ginny not being very happy/being a bit jealous (maybe because Harry could afford nicer dresses and a dowry, which the Weasleys couldn't), but Harry was pretty forgiving. I don't think Ron and Hermione are courting yet, but they will (maybe he needs to make enough money for her family to accept him as a suitor). It would help Harry's situation to be married, but I don't really remember why. Maybe so she can stop being a financial burden on the Weasleys. Draco, on the other hand, is a very rich bachelor who owns at least one factory and has a sick/old/slowly dying grandmother (named Andromeda? Alexandra?) who made it a stipulation of her will that he get married or just really wants to see him happily married, but he's not really into it, just wants to make her happy (maybe because his parents had a bad relationship? Idk) The plot kicks off with Harry meeting with either Blaise Zabini or Theodore Nott who realizes that Draco and Harry can help each other out of their respective problems by getting married. So Harry and Draco agree, and get married rather quickly. First, the banns are read, and then they have a church wedding, and Harry meets some of Draco's extended family (cousins? Possibly OCs) and they have a wedding breakfast. At no point do they have sex or even kiss. Their plan is to wait until Draco's grandmother does and then divorce (?) or just quietly live separately and Draco can have his heir be his nephew or cousin or something. Everyone assumes it was a love match because of how fast it was, but then whoever the grandmother is thinks it's weird that they don't have any affection for each other. They get to know each other more and develop a bit of a friendship, but then they fight and it's very concerning to everyone who thinks they're supposed to be in love. At one point, they host Christmas at Malfoy Manor and Harry has a romantic moment with Draco and also maybe Draco's cousin when decorating the Christmas tree, which might make Draco a bit jealous. There's also mistletoe and a bunch of other stuff. Draco gets mad at Harry for playing cricket with him and the rest of the men because it's improper for a lady, but she's so good at it because she played with the Weasleys maybe. I think she deliberately missed the shot that would have beat his team so he wouldn't be humiliated by his wife beating him. Harry goes to visit Draco at the office/factory once and feels bad for the poor child laborers, so she gets them sweets and cake, which Draco thinks is very sweet but they'll start to expect it too much or something. They finally decide to have their honeymoon or celebrate Valentine's day or do some kind of romantic outing, and Draco takes her to Stonehenge and I think she's upset because it's not very romantic? Even though they're still not in a romantic relationship.

5. post war fic, probably multi chapter, or at least a really long one shot (though I'm pretty sure it was multi ch), don't remember the word count but it was complete when I read it ( 90% sure it was on ao3). It was either a case fic or at least a big part of it was a solving a mystery, don't remember if h&d were aurors or unspeakables, but they were trying to figure out some weird happenings (possibly lingering dark magic?). From what I remember of the plot a death eater (I think lucius?) Was trying to revive voldemort again (after the final battle) and there was something about using a time turner to go back to important moments in the first war. I remember there was a scene with Harry and draco investigating a fair, there was a carousel or ferris wheel involved. There was a scene in the basement of a mansion (possibly malfoy manor?) something about residual magic from a horcrux maybe. And I think that's when they figure out the plot or who is behind it.

6. the fic I'm looking for is on AO3, I'm pretty sure! I remember it was a series, just don't remember how many fics it was lmao, and I don't remember much of the first story, but what I do remember is that it's pre-eight year where Harry and Draco got close during the summer and I think they even went on this trip together and started dating there. I remember one scene more towards the end of the second fic from the series, which is that Harry and Draco were barely spending time together and it was really upsetting Harry, and I think Draco forgot about some plans they had together, so Harry just leaves a gift for Draco to find and then goes to the house they spent the summer in, and I think he also left a note to Draco, which is how Draco later found him. They do end up making up. Also, I could totally be tripping, but I think the title had the word "Ghost" in it, somehow?

7. forced bonding fic. At first in the fic Lucius and Draco are sitting near each other and Lucius wants to figure out what Draco wants so he puts a truth potion into Dracos drink. Draco blurts out Harry’s name and says out of everyone he just wants to be with him so Lucius gets Draco fake kidnapped so that Harry can save him and then get them bonded together. I also remember a point in the fic where Draco and Harry visit the manor and Harry tells Lucius that he has to accept him or he’ll tell Draco that he got his own son kidnapped.

8. looking for a deleted/locked post‑war Drarry fic (“Only sex without love”, ~100–200 k words) fanfic I read on AO3 in 2023. I suspect the author has since locked or deleted it, because I can’t get any hits with normal searches. Below are every detail I still remember—if it rings a bell, please let me know the title, author name, a saved copy, or even just the AO3 work ID. Key facts: definitely long-fic (roughly 100k – 200k) Eighth-Year then adult life. Summary line (verbatim): “Only sex without love.” (either in the fic summary or the notes) Ginny Weasley died in the war (canon-divergent). Friends-with-benefits / messy feelings / “chasing husband from crematorium” kind of angst. Harry is a professional Quidditch player; Draco is an alchemist. “Not-clean” theme – Harry still sleeps with others; Draco agrees not to interfere. Secret relationship; Harry refuses to go public. Strong emotional whump / eventual happy (?) ending. Memorable scenes: Draco’s alchemical Patronus. He created a small living Patronus resembling Harry’s stag. It speaks to Draco, says it loves him, nuzzles him. He only takes it out when Harry isn’t home. After they break up, Draco quietly listens to it one last time, then destroys it while crying. Invisible ring charm. Draco places a mark on Harry’s ring finger – a magically invisible “ring”. Harry finds out and freaks out, though he’s secretly touched. He accuses Draco of trying to cage him and says he’ll never love him. Photo-album fight. A misunderstanding causes Harry to tear up their shared photo album. He says he doesn’t care about Draco, then storms out to hook up with someone. Draco listens to the Patronus one last time, then destroys it. Draco renounces magic and leaves. After their breakup, Draco vanishes. Harry later finds out Draco moved to Muggle Germany and formally surrendered his wand and magic. Harry tracks him down via immigration logs and finds him 9 months later.

9. I read this fic about two summers ago on ao3. It was at least 7 or 8 year, and i think it was set during the war. I originally found this fic via a tik tok recommendation. It starts with Draco feeling Harry’s pain and transporting somehow to the Dursley’s where Harry was hurt. They were connected somehow and could feel each other’s pain, so Draco went to go save Harry. When Harry wakes up he’s like lying with Draco, and Remus and Sirius are there. They end up at Grimmauld Place and the whole premise is that Draco and Harry only feel comfortable when they are touching because they have been connected somehow. Hermione and Ron show up after a while and they are all still doing schoolwork, but from Grimmauld. I remember a lot of scenes with Harry and Draco like sharing headphones and Hermione and Ron did not fully trust Draco. I believe this fic goes on to follow the four of them looking for the horcruxes, but I could be mixing that part up with another fic.

10. trying to find a fic I originally read on ffnet , and was pretty long (minimum 60k but i vaguely remember it being more than 100k, maybe 60ish chapters? idk). it's a creature fic, where harry and draco are veela bonded mates. there's a long plot line of harry being rescued from the dursleys by severus, who cares for him at hogwarts. i weird specific detail i remember is severus would make him drink milk to soothe his stomach? but most of the plot revolved around harry and draco coming into their creature inheritance and how they formed a club/friend group with other students at hogwarts who were also part creature. I lost the fic when my google chrome app crashed years ago and have yet to find it

11. 8th year/set at hogwarts fic and Astoria gives Draco a love potion that should make him go crazy for Harry, but he doesn’t act any differently because he’s already in love with him and she uses that information to blackmail Draco. I read it a long time ago, probably on ff.net?

12. trans harry fic where harry circumvents the prophecy by transitioning mtf. harry may or may not come to a deal w voldemort or the dark side over it, and the malfoys are in on it and help harry stay safe until she comes out. im p sure i read it on ao3, complete and set in either fifth of sixth year. ive been looking for a while though and cant find it.

[cailynwrites]

What the flock?! such smart names!

Science should let more cartoonists name things. That how we got the thagomizer and the Rube Goldberg machines. Anyways! SHERLOCK CROWMES!!!!!

Check out my stuff!

✧Read Namesake✧ ✧Read Crow Time✧ ✧Store✧ ✧Patreon✧

[cailynwrites]

Pillar of Salt by @epitomereally

Late last year, my dear friend epitomereally did two amazing things: she became Dr. Epitomereally, and she wrote this fic.

As a graduation present, I decided to bind three of her fanfic for her, starting with this fic that I had begged her for permission to bind while I was getting a sneak peek as a beta reader as she was writing for @hderised . I kept the fact that she was going to be getting all three books a secret, and this weekend I got to give them to her at the Renegade retreat! (Pics of the other two will come soon).

Pillar of Salt is a dark, Draco-focused fic, with the central plot involving a morphed form of the mirror of Erised, and so mirrors are the main imagery in this bind.

This book was bound in black goatskin (a particularly stiff but easily skived instance), with foil quill decorations. The endpapers are perhaps my most subtle paste papers with gunmetal paste over plack paper. The edges are painted black and then splattered with the same gunmetal grey. The endbands are trebizond silk.

The title page was toner foil on black paper.

Epitomereally is a brilliant writer, and it was my enormous pleasure to bind this fic for her!

[cailynwrites]

Commission for @tackytigerfic and their fic "First Night of Watch"

[cailynwrites]

[cailynwrites]

Linger by @kohakhearts

Happy Monday! Today we're bringing you a bite-size Pansmione to get through your day. Silver_fish is a multi-ship writer who does EXCELLENT feelings, heart-wrenching hurt/comfort, and cathartic happy endings. Check out all their other works when you finish listening to this. You might even find a couple other podfics of their stories in @cailynwrites' podfic catalogue. Enjoy!

Linger by @kohakhearts Pairing: Hermione x Pansy Rating: T Length: 17 minutes Summary:

Hermione didn't want to fall in love, but when you put two wrongs together, you'll always get a right.

Listen now on AO3

[cailynwrites]

learned how to use blenders film making tools

[cailynwrites]

I challenged myself to a limited colour palette to get over an art block; M rated result under the cut!

[cailynwrites]

[cailynwrites]

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

[cailynwrites]

Harry betrays himself with a single, sharp inhale.

“Oh.” Malfoy’s grip tightens around his throat, pinning him harder against the quidditch lockers. Harry feels lightheaded, but not because he can’t breathe. “You like that, don’t you, Potter?”

Inhale @drarrymicrofic {37 words}

[cailynwrites]

[cailynwrites]

Bound: First Watch of Night by @tackytigerfic

When you decide to bind a book using black on black, it's not going to be easy to photograph. Just in case you were wondering.

@toomuchplor and I decided to do a little exchange of this fantastic fic, and this was the one I sent to her.

It's a long, long, long fic (274k) (and yet, I still didn't want it to end) and I couldn't decide if I wanted to bind it all in one volume and attempt to round it, or just leave it flat, even though it would be very thick, but then it occurred to me (or a friend suggested) that I could split it into two volumes!

So that's what I did. You know what was really cool? I divided it at the halfway point, after chapter 10, which worked out well. The page count was very similar, and the second volume had 11 chapters, so it was all very even.

But what I discovered was that the last line of chapter 10 is the same as the very last chapter of the book! I don't know if it was a coincidence or on purpose, but I thought it was neat. (I suppose that could be considered a spoiler which is why I'm not specifying what the actual sentense is, so please put this out of your mind if you haven't read this yet and you find yourself at the end of chapter 10.)

So anyway. Okay. I now had two volumes and had to decide how I wanted to differentiate them. I was going to do one white and one black, and while that would have looked cool, I fear it would have insinuated some kind of meaning (light vs dark) that isn't necessarily like, the first half vs the second half. And one of the ideas that had been knocking around my head was "searchlights". So that's where I went with the covers. I wanted all black, and I found a great sparkly black HTV (sorta starry nightish, you know) and went from there. I'm quite happy with how it came out!

Except I meant for the two searchlights to be facing away from each other when you put both volumes next to each other, but if that's the only mistake I made, I can live with that.

I'm especially proud of the silhouettes on the spine, they both started as photographs that I pulled into Adobe Capture and was able to turn into SVGs so they could be cut by my silhouette. And I'm extra proud of my Silhouette for keeping Harry's glasses intact. (I tried just finding clip art of silhouettes (too many uses of that word here) but for whatever reason, most silhouettes are of businessmen?!? Anyway. It all worked out.

The title pages for each volume are slightly different too. The first has one figure, the second has two. Just a little thing.

The bookmark charms are a little 1 and 2 I made with shrinky dink material.

More details:

This is the HTV I used The body font is Arno Pro (my beloved) The cover font is Montserrat The chapter and drop caps are in various forms of Lulo The small caps at chapter starts is Rig Shaded Images came from Pixabay

[cailynwrites]

WE LOVE YOU PEDRO