calciumxhood - Tumblr blog

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baby ima rockstar

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HOLY SHITBALLS!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK ME

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His shirt said “dropdead” and I did… 9.12.15

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Idk why I did this but I did it and I’m sure it’s a masterpiece

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5sos horoscope: what you are to the band

aries - groupie taurus - personal therapist gemini - calum’s gf cancer - malum’s hoe leo - michael’s best pal virgo - luke’s secret lover libra - travels everywhere with them scorpio - michael’s hoe sagittarius - past lover capricorn - ashton’s gf aquarius - cake’s soccer pal pisces - everyone’s bff

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(x)

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I drew this polaroid of 5sos-official by request of my frieeend - I however couldn’t figure out what to write under it, so I just decided that I’d write ROWYSO since the tour is starting soon, and “Butts” with a drawing of spongebob seemed off topic aha

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me: *somehow gets 5sos meet & greet tickets*

Luke:Hello!

Ashton:Hey!

Michael:Hi!

Calum:Yo!

Me:*takes my socks off and gives them to Luke*

Luke:What

Me: my socks have been rocked off thank you

Me:*winks at them and leaves*

Luke:

Calum:

Ashton:

Michael:

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BEST 5SOS TWEETS/QUOTES

Ashton: Were you a Benji or a Joel girl?

Luke: I WAS A BOY.

--

Calum: ASHTONIO IRWEENIE!

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Calum: Fuck, Ashton's coming. Everyone hide.

*gets in closet*

Calum: It smells like poop in here.

--

*Talking about their first album*

Calum: My sister's friend's brother gave me a burnt CD-

Ashton: I can't listen to this story.. it involves piracy.

--

Interviewer: Can you name any similarities between you guys and One Direction because you know.. you guys are obviously a bit more punk rock.

Ashton: No, no, yeah.. we have the same genitals.

--

Calum: Hi guys, I'm here with Ashton and we're watching the worst movie ever. It's called The Human Centipede and Ashton was like "this movie is great man, you should watch it"

Ashton: No I never, ever said that!

Calum: And it's about a bunch of people eating each others buttholes.

Ashton: Mmmmmm butthole. *Giggles uncontrollably*

--

*Brushing their teeth*

Michael: Oh my god it smells so bad in here!

Ashton: Because I farted.

--

*Talking about the show*

Ashton: I'm quite nervous... as you CAN see my nipples through this shirt.

Luke: That's how you know Ashton is nervous for a show.

Ashton: My nipples get hard.

--

Calum: Ashton's gonna be a sex slave

Ashton: *taken back* WHAT?! That's not a super hero!

--

Luke: I think it's "hoe" no wait, oh my god that's not it. I'm so sorry."

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Michael: Ashton you never steal my underwear.

Ashton: Yeah because it's your underwear and it has like your... butt in them and I don't want to wear that.

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Luke: Welcome back to cheffing with Ashton and Luke!

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Ashton: Yeah well if they eat testicles in their state I'm gonna eat them.

Michael: I vow right now that I will not be eating testicles.

Ashton: I'll eat testicles.

Luke: I'LL EAT YOUR TESTICLES IF YOU MAKE ME EAT THEM TESTICLES.

--

Luke: Can't one man hug another man from behind?!

Ashton: CAN'T ONE MAN NOT HUG ANOTHER MAN FROM THE BEHIND?!

Calum:.... while they are both naked.

--

*answering questions*

Interviewer: And actually one lady was so persistent I said I would ask for her.

Michael: ahhh

Ashton: ahhhh chicken.

*ashton turns to calum and just starts giggling*

Ashton: I just said chicken for some reason.

--

Interviewer: What would you do if you woke up with pepperoni for nipples?

Luke: Umm well I really like pepperonis so I might eat them...

Ashton: Are they detachable?

*Calum looks confused and disgusted*

Luke: Okay do they just look like pepperoni or are they actually pepperoni? Because if they were real pepperoni I would eat them.

Calum: Luke that's disgusting.

Michael: That's gross cause then you're eating your nipples.

*Luke trying to defend himself*

Luke: Yeah but they're pepperoni not nipples!

--

*talking to Luke*

Michael: No you know what Luke? You are the biggest asshole in the morning.

*Luke trying to defend himself*

Michael: Like even when you're in a good mood you're still a dick.

--

Calum: Tell me how good looking I am.

Ashton: What?

Ashton: Is this a weird thing you want me to do or...

Calum: J-just speak to me.

Ashton: You're a naughty boy Calum.

Calum: More! Tell me more.

--

Luke: Just dropped a peanut in my belly button... do I eat it or...

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Calum: Me and Ash keep the band... well, we are pretty much the band and these guys just add a bit of treble.

Michael: SORRY CALUM. I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SIZE OF YOUR EGO.

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Michael: Luke is passed out next to a bowl of nachos. This is the best day of my life.

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Morning Luke: I'm so tired I almost put this bowl of cereal in the toilet.

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Ashton: Mikes bod is incredible .

Luke: You should see his wiener.

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Ashton: IT'S NOT GOING TO SAY HELLO! IT'S A COW LUKE.

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Calum: It's my microwave!

Ashton: It's not you microwave.

Calum: HEY!

*uncontrollable giggling*

--

PLZ PLZ ADD TO THIS IF YOU CAN OMG:D

Ashton: MICHAEL YOU ARE YELLING!

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is Calum holding a pup or his first born child with the amount of fond in his face

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5sos-official

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5sos as strawberry shortcake characters 

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Fly Away - 5sos (I made this please credit)

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She sleeps, till noon Forgetting that school starts soon I wish it was, I wish it was still June

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fun fact: michael is the cutest person ever (x)