callashakess

[callashakess]

Going through the motions

[callashakess]

imagine

Not being able to tell someone what you need or how they hurt you

Because they just get hella upset and start yelling about how nothing they do is ever good enough

But legitimately they’re not doing anything

[callashakess]

[callashakess]

Same af tho

Everything is going badly in my life…

I’m in a fight with my roomate…

I’m doing bad at my job…

There is not a place I feel home…

I am not losing weight…

I want to cut.

[callashakess]

someone, looking at my very obvious self harm scars: woah where did you get those!

me:

[callashakess]

me: jesus christ I need to stop this, this could kill me

ana:

[callashakess]

Reblog the pumpkin king and you’ll lose 5 pounds this week

(just do it)

[callashakess]

[callashakess]

[callashakess]

friend: you know, losing weight is more than drinking water and starving yourself.

me, a professional anorexic:

[callashakess]

please tell me im not alone

i can go days where im just like “fuck my eating disorder” and eat normally and then i wake up one day and lie there thinking “i’m gonna have to fast for the rest of my life to make up for this”

[callashakess]

it’s exhausting

You know, this feeling that people don’t love and care about you as much as you do about them. The reality is, they do, they do so much. Lou, if they didn’t care, Gino wouldn’t have taken almost an hour of work time to listen and talk to you. Val wouldn’t have cook you a salad for lunch this week. They love you. But there is just this feeling that, when they aren’t there anymore, everyday people don’t tell me they love me, my brain automatically think ‘’Omg, they don’t love you anymore, must be because you are fat’’. And that, is exhausting. I’m feeling alone, and unloved. There is this pain in my chest, this ball of sadness… it’s the ED… I’m feeling bad and I can’t stop crying… No one can understand… I want to cut… 

[callashakess]

i just want all my secrets back, i don’t want anyone to know anything about me anymore 

[callashakess]

Okay I’m out here trying really hard not to binge rn and THIS just saved my life!!

A reminder

If you don’t fuck up you’ll be at your goal weight in October

If you don’t fuck up you’ll be at your goal weight in October

If you don’t fuck up you’ll be at your goal weight in October

If you don’t fuck up you’ll be at your goal weight in October

If you don’t fuck up you’ll be at your goal weight in October

If you don’t fuck up you’ll be at your goal weight in October

If you don’t fuck up you’ll be at your goal weight in October

If you don’t fuck up you’ll be at your goal weight in October

If you don’t fuck up you’ll be at your goal weight in October

[callashakess]

My favorite thinspo part 2

[callashakess]

Me: *decides to fast for 72hours at 2am*

Me: *binges everything in sight after a few hours*

My ED:

[callashakess]

Going out to dinner and eating a normal amount of food with friends or family

Binging on 5000 calories while I’m home alone and depressed