calli-opal

[calli-opal]

7/4/2022

Since I’m going off to college soon, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things.

A lot of them circle around my social life- I’m going out of state for college and I’m pretty scared about literally everything, but most of the other stuff is centered around “I’ll find a way through it” since I’ve done similar things before (by this I mean classes and financial struggles.)

But social stuff is hard. I’ve always struggled with the normal social things, what everyone else would consider a given, etc. I don’t like large group events, but I struggle finding connections with people. I’m aware that most of us are thinking the same, but I’m terrified. I’m worried about my roommate hating me or struggling to stand up for myself. I don’t fit in well in any of my previous communities except for TTRPG, so I’ll be relying on that to make friends. See, I was a singer in highschool. Went to a fancy arts magnet and was known for classical singing, something even most kids at that school didn’t have a grasp on. But I’m leaving it, at least for now, for a history degree (though I’ll probably change my major many times). So art kids consider me a quitter, or they already don’t like classical (I don’t blame them, it has a history that I’m not a fan of), while the academic community also thinks the same of me. I’m just praying my school has an active and open-minded D&D and other ttrpg community that I can make myself at home in. I worry I won’t have time to dedicate to it, and that scares me as well. But that’s life. I’m just trying to figure everything out.

It’s a little scary to go to a school 8+ hours away, in a city where you don’t know anyone, and try to make a new life for yourself while debating who you are. I just wanted to get that out there and hopefully make everyone else in my situation not feel so alone.