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Flick of feelings
I thought thats what i thought. I really tought it was it. I really thought i was so tiredand drained and really convinced that i had enough but everything fell apart a part of my chest was lost. I lost it. I lost my dreams. I cried and nothing more can make me want to live ever again. I lost a huge part of me that no one can ever replace. I love you so much and seeing you in pain because of me is something i would never forget. Hear me. Feel me. Listen to me. I would run a circus for you and i would change every bit of me for you to never lose again like this. How we grew apart
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Bea
Hindi ako perfect. There are days where i just feel na hindi ako para sayo, hindi ako perfect, hindi ako yung ng babae na makakasama mo habang buhay. Those are only a few of the things that i think about a lot but one thing you always let me remember is that you love me so much and you are willing to do everything to make this relationship work. I have loved you and placed every bit of effort to let you feel that way. I will continue to change and be better for this relationship. I am will never be the perfect person you are looking for, but I can be someone willing to make things perfect for the both of us. To the 8 months we have spent together, i dont know anymore whats instored for us, all i know i am willing to go through all of it with you forever as long as you still want me in you life. I love you every moment.
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“My love is like a stone tied round my neck; it’s dragging me down to the bottom; but I love my stone. I can’t live without it.”
- Anton Chekhov
via @quotemadness
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things are not always as they seem
instagram: thetypewriterdaily
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Ciara
Nag usap tayo kagabi. You told me you were scared of the fact that i might do it again. That i would make accnts to break your trust. I gave you my reasons. Alam mong naging ganito ako sa epekto mo saakin. Dahil i kept wanting you while someone owned you. I kept owning you while you were in her arms - in her warmth. I kept pushing myself to someone na alam kong malabo maging akin kasi nga mahal mo siya. As for me mahal mko kasi may kaya akong ibigay na d niya kaya, kasi sabi mo iba ako sa kanya. Is that even enough? Thats why i kept questioning you kung bakit mahal mo naman ako na d mko kayang panindigan. Yun lang naman yung inuulit ko parati kasi yun lang naman yung reason kung bakit ako ganiyo ngayon. Im not blaming you I am just making you understand my ways
I get your fears. I understand your point. I acknowledge the fact that i am causing your fears and im causing you to not believe in a good love again. But cant you have faith me that we both could make it. I know how much i can give you yo make you mine again. I know how much i can sacrifice, i could understand, how much i could extend my patience more to have you again, but we shouldnt force things to happen because it will just make everything worse. I just have to find the guts to leave Bea and be with you. Step up and do the things that make me happy.
How about my fears? Yung fears ko is being ON SCHEDULE AGAIN. Nangyayari nga nanaman ulit eh. Which is nakasanayan na. I got used to the idea na whenever you will be available and give me time the the time we could talk and maybe set a schedule to meet up and be together. Na pag kasama mo siya or sila na barkada mo d ko nanaman ako mapapansin. The following day kasi you want some quality time with me. I get that. Na you want to spend with them na hindi mo ako madadala kasi yung kaibigan mo kaibigan mo lng or vice versa para walang gulo sa huli. Ayaw mo ng update every minute. Sakto na mahal mko na importante ako pero hanggang yun lng no more no less para walang masyadong masaktan. Yun dn nasa isip ko na pano pag naging tayo na tas ma fefeel kong at alam kong yung ibibigay mo saaking importance eh 50% lng kasi you have to leave some for yourself. Pero alam mo kahit ganun i understand. I WOULD UNDERSTAND. Believe me or not. Kailangan ko nga ding paniwalaan na kaya kong maging ganun pala ka patient and i should say sobrang understanding situation. Yung siguro yung mga good changes dn sa buhay ko after I met you. That love is mot merely just being sweet and giving time and effort. A relationship will have yo through a lot of compromise and sacrifices and risks. As for this - yung atin - i know what i have to go through.Those are changes in you that i am willing to embrace because ikaw yan eh. At some point some time the journey taught you to be who you are right now same as me. I learned through the process too.
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