callmekamel - Tumblr blog

[callmekamel]

To anyone who believes fairy tale romances never happen in real life, may I remind you that JRR and Edith Tolkien met and experienced a forbidden love in their youth, and then were separated for five whole years because of his guardian’s rules that he could not date till he was 21, and she got engaged to someone else only because she assumed he’d forgotten her and lost hope that she could ever be with him, but then on his 21st birthday, he wrote her a letter saying he still loved her and wanted to marry her, she responded basically saying ‘if I’d known you hadn’t left me on the shelf, I would never have said yes to anyone else,’ then a week later she greeted him at the train station and then immediately dumped her fiancé, and they got married and she converted to his religion and danced for him in a flowering field far away from the trenches into which he was drafted, which left such an impression that he crafted an entire story about the most beautiful maiden in the world who danced in the woods and made enormous sacrifices to be with the man she loved, and they had four kids and remained faithful to each other and blissfully grew old together and their gravestones are now marked with the names of that same fictional couple that he created, who broke every rule and overcame every possible obstacle to be together and get a happy ending, who only did all that because he based it all on their own real love story.

[callmekamel]

either my German is really bad or this poem is kinda gay (?) so just to be sure I read an English translation (not sure if it's the same one as yours) and it went:

There was an aged monarch,

His heart and head were gray with strife;

This poor, old monarch wedded

A young and lovely wife.

There was a pretty page-boy,

His hair was light, his heart was clean;

He carried the long and silken

Train of the fair young queen.

You know the old, old story

So sweet, so sad to tell —

Both of them had to perish;

They loved each other too well.

...it's kinda gay, no?

Reading heinrich heine stuff in three languages (just for fun) and. because Finnish is weird I thought this one poem was gay for a solid 15 minutes until I found the original LMAO. Like it's about an old king who "brought a young spouse", and the next verse is about a pageboy who "carried the silk train of [the/a] queen". And then the last verse is about how "they both had to die because they loved too much". I interpreted this as a somewhat creepy ancient greek sugar baby situation but the German original actually says that the king "nahm eine Junge Frau" and that the page "carried the silk train of the young queen". Anyway ajsjdjdj moral of the story be careful with translations and don't make hasty conclusions...

Maan kuningas on vanha, Sydän raskas on, pää harmaa on Tuo kuningas raukka vanha Toi nuoren puolison.

On paashipoika nuori, Siro kultapää, kevytmielinen, Ja silkkilaahusta kantoi Hän kuningattaren.

Kai tunnet vanhan laulun? Niin vienoon soi, niin synkkään tuo! Kummankin täytyi kuolla, — Oi, liiaksi lempivät nuo.

Es war ein alter König,

Sein Herz war schwer, sein Haupt war grau;

Der arme alte König,

Er nahm eine junge Frau.

Es war ein schöner Page,

Blond war sein Haupt, leicht war sein Sinn;

Er trug die seidne Schleppe

Der jungen Königin.

Kennst du das alte Liedchen?

Es klingt so süß, es klingt so trüb!

Sie mußten beyde sterben,

Sie hatten sich viel zu lieb.

[callmekamel]

One time I was explaining to my dad how unfair it is that every big city has at least a couple gay bars but there are only like 20ish lesbian bars left in the country and he responded with "That's cause gay men have a good party culture. Lesbians don't have time to party, they're too busy debating the sociological implications of things and studying for postgrad degrees" and as much as I wanted to tell him he was out of line for that, as a lesbian who spends all her free time on Tumblr debating sociological implications and messaging other lesbians in discord servers where everyone has a PhD or masters for some reason I felt like I might not be the best person to make that argument

[callmekamel]

@vonlipvig tagged me (hellooooo)

Last song/piece I listened to: An Old-Fashioned Love Story from The Wild Party the Musical. Safe to say this is the weirdest lesbian song I've ever heard.

Last book I read: Le Petit Prince. To be fair I read that book once every year to be hit in the gut.

Last film I watched: Kung Fu Panda 4. Papa said he didn't like it and I agree with him. Excellent art tho I appreciate that as an animator.

Last TV series: Rosemary and Thymes :) I love me some good-old british cozy murder mystery.

Last video game: ...I don't play video game.

Last thing I ate: a plum because it's plum season in Melbourne.

Last thing I googled: AO3 :)

Amount of sleep: depends on the month if it's high time for assignment deadline (right now) so these days it's about 5 hours.

Currently reading: 1984. Fascinating.

Currently watching: my animation. I've been watching it for 8 days.

[callmekamel]

JULIETTE BINOCHE as Eugénie LA PASSION DE DODIN BOUFFANT (2023, dir. Anh Hung Tran) HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIETTE! 💗 March 9th 1964

[callmekamel]

LOUDER FOR THE FOLKS IN THE BACK because Sandra is a bisexual queen BUT also a kinda bad spouse

there will be a movie about a complicated, moving yet often unlikeable female protagonist and half the movie’s tag will be people wanting to fuck the lawyer guy

[callmekamel]

Anonymous assumption: You’re non binary

nope I really enjoy being a female camel 👌🐫😌

(I do have many non-binary friends and their fashion is to die for ✨️✨️✨️)

[callmekamel]

anonymously make an assumption about me and i'll confirm/deny it

[callmekamel]

reblog w the song lyrics in your head NOW. either stuck in yr head or what yr listening to

[callmekamel]

...ok this is too adorable bye

I gotta know your takes on wicked for the musical ask thing

Ooookay you’re getting stream of consciousness for this one!

I love Wicked, it’s one of my top five musicals, maybe my favourite musical (sorry Rebecca I love you but also…). It’s perfect. It’s full of plot-holes. There are things in it I see very critically. It’s delightful. Willemijn is the Elphaba for me, I just can’t help it. The German translation is even gayer than the original (Hand in Hand, Arm in Arm, Herz an Herz…). I am very critical of the way Nessarose is a carelessly written disabled villain-character. I love The Wicked Witch of the East. I love Glinda’s character arc. I love Fiyero (though I always have to look up how to spell his name). It has some very funny moments, it has moments that always give me goosebumps. The German revival wasn’t great and unfortunately they had some sound issues the day I went to see it. Gelphie! Gelphie Gelphie Gelphie! I’m not a strong belter but boy do I wish I were just so I could sing Elphaba’s songs for fun. I love the costumes and I wish I could wear Elphaba’s act two Witch dress. Where do Elphie’s glasses go in Act 2??? Let the girl keep her glasses! Wicked is one of those musicals I don’t read fanfiction for or anything, I just like to spend time thinking about it sometimes. It was the first musical I really got into after coming out and remembering I like musicals (that was an intense time). I always skip the wizard’s songs. Again the plot holes. I think polyamory might have solved some problems for the main trio. I love Wicked so much. Thank you for your attention 💚🩷

[callmekamel]

*to my chinese friends* "so Bazaar's China has this photoshoo-"

"yes Camel we found it it's done by Chen Man a very famous Chinese visual artist now stop talking about Anatomy of A Fall for GOD's sake"

tw: lounging, lots of lounging

[callmekamel]

Question for the audience

Also leave in the tags what people usually compliment you on!!

[callmekamel]

Hi! For the Danbea ones, how about Beatrice taking care of Danny's burns/injures post fire?

Thank you for this prompt, Anon! I had a lot of fun with it. This turned out a little darker than anticipated, so please be aware that the following content notes apply: mild gore, self-harm, burns, brief descriptions of wounds (not graphic). You can also find this piece on AO3 as The Ashes in Her Wake.

The body lay on its side, crumpled where it had abruply lost its strength. It was half concealed behind an old lilac bush just beyond the low wall that had once demarkated the kitchen gardens. It was morning now, it would have been light if the sky had not been dark with smoke. Turning her back to the crumbling shell of her childhood home, Beatrice fell to her knees. Behind her, the house was burning still, the inferno contained to a few final flickers of flame. The very brickwork was radiating heat. Beatrice’s forehead was pearling with sweat. She reached out her hand to the body, gripping it by the shoulder and turning it over. 

The body’s face held no surprises. Beatrice had known who she would find here, who she had set out to look for. There was no mistaking the sharp profile of the woman, the striking lines of her nose and jaw, her cheek-bones hollowed out by grief. The skin, so sickly pale before, had flushed a deep red, had turned a rippling purple where the flames had lashed at her again and again. Swallowing bile, Beatrice put her fingers to the side of the woman’s neck. Her pulse a feeble stutter, breath so shallow Beatrice could barely feel it against her hand when she brushed it against the woman’s face. 

She would have to question herself, Beatrice knew. She would have to reckon with what she had done, but not now. Not like this. There was no time to be gentle. She prayed that Danny was too far gone to feel the pressure of Beatrice’s hand closing around her arm, slinging that arm around her shoulder and lifting her from the ground. Staggering, Beatrice rose to stand. Limp in her arms, Danny’s body was barely more than bone. Her dress had burned away in places and where it hadn’t the fabric was singed and frayed. Legs burning with the effort, Beatrice took step after step away from the house that had once been Manderley. 

She had parked a long way down the road. She had seen Favell’s car there before, cleverly hidden in a clump of trees. One day she would forgive herself for copying him like this. By the time she wrenched open the rear door of the car, Beatrice was gasping for breath. She lowered Danny’s body onto the backseat, carefully bending Danny’s legs and cushioning Danny’s head with her own jacket. She made her way to the driver’s side and with one last glance over her shoulder collapsed into the driver’s seat. 

She drove too fast, too recklessly, praying that the early morning would protect her. Who would be on the roads this time of day? Who would be driving away from Manderley and not towards it? Rebecca’s face flashed in front of Beatrice’s eyes, Rebecca as she had been years ago with her thick, dark hair pinned up. She thought of Danny’s muttered insistence, the muted prayer she had never been meant to hear. If you truly are watching, she thought, you better make sure no one’s following us now. 

*

The call had come around four in the morning. It had been her sister-in-law on the phone, calling from Crawley’s office. There had been no trace of emotion in her voice, the flat, dead tone of someone who had seen too much to feel. Giles had been by her side at once, ready to do whatever she needed him to. She had needed him to stay where he was. To man the phone, she’d said. They would need a place to stay, Maxim and his young wife. She needed air, she’d said. She wouldn’t be long. He need not worry. 

In a distant corner of their estate was a hunter’s cottage Beatrice had fitted up for herself. It was Rebecca’s boathouse, she was ashamed to say, that had given her the idea. It was more of a hut, really, a cobblestone structure with one room and an outhouse. She had never spent more than a day out here, had never taken anyone with her. This was were she brought Danny. It was a roundabout journey with the car, another breathless treck through the woods with Danny slung over her shoulder. She was moving now, muttering and wincing. She was not quite awake. That, Beatrice knew, was a mercy. The pain would come soon enough. 

She opened the door to the hunter’s cottage, lowered Danny onto the simple bed that stood pushed against one wall. Beatrice went around the room, drawing the curtains. She had brought a bag of supplies from the car. There was nothing in it that could help Danny, not once she’d truly woken up. Water and squares of clean cloth to cool and bandage the burns. A note she took and left next to Danny’s head. 

I will be back by nightfall. Do not leave the cottage. 

You are safe here. I forgive you.

B. 

The sentences clipped and useless and true. Beatrice bent down. She ran her hand over Danny’s hair. A few strands broke off in her hands. Beatrice felt sick. She straightened up, clumps of Danny’s hair sailing to the floor. 

“Whatever you do,” she told the woman who could not hear her, “don’t you dare die. Not after I broke my back bringing you here. At least have enough decency for that.” 

*

Giles was by her side before she had even stopped the car. He opened the door as soon as the engine had stilled. He reached inside, half guiding, half lifting her out. Whatever he had seen in her face would not allow him to chide her for taking so long. He knew where she had been. He would have known even if her clothes had not smelled like smoke, if her eyes had not still been watering with it. 

“It’s gone,” she said. Her voice was brittle. “All gone.”

“Maxim?” Giles held her to his chest, his arms trembling. “His wife? The staff?”

“All safe.” She broke off, coughing. “All except… they say they don’t know where she is. The housekeeper. Apparently she resigned just yesterday. Packed all her things and had them taken away. They don’t know if she got out.”

“God. What did Maxim say?”

“I couldn’t get a hold of him. Crawley says they must all have been asleep when it started. It’s a miracle no one was hurt.” 

She drew back. At once, Giles put his arm around her waist. She leaned against him as they walked to the house. Reid was waiting by the door, Williams a few steps behind. Giles waved them away. He led her to the library, then went and fetched her a cup of tea. It was not until she had settled back on his favourite armchair and taken her first sip that he asked: “What do you need?”

She could not reply at once. It took the first cup of tea and half of the second to say: “Time.” 

“I will take care of everything,” Giles said. “Leave it all to me.” 

He sat on the armrest of her chair. Beatrice leaned against him, heart beating fast as she thought of the woman in the woods who might be dead, might be dying. Giles’s hand came to rest on her hair, brushing gently back and forth. Beatrice closed her eyes. 

*

There was no light in the cottage, no gap in the curtains Beatrice had drawn so carefully. Dread rose in Beatrice’s stomach as she knocked on the door, then opened it and stepped inside. Pain pulsated beneath the bandages around her left palm. She carried a new bag of supplies with her other hand, setting it down next to the door. 

Danny lay where Beatrice had left her. She did not lift her head as the door opened and closed. Beatrice’s heart leapt to her throat. She had waited too long. She had come too late. Then she heard Danny draw in a breath. 

“Who’s there?”

Beatrice rushed to her side. “It’s me, I’ve come back. I’ve brought supplies too, and morphine.”

Her hand throbbed with pain. Her whole body had recoiled at the thought of pressing her hand to the hot metal grate in front of the fireplace. She had bit her lip bloody in anticipation. Giles had been gentle, concerned. Reid had furrowed her brow. They had brought a salve and bandages, morphine when they’d seen the red welts on Beatrice’s palm. 

I was checking the fire, Beatrice had said over and over again, distraught. My hand slipped. 

She knelt by the low bed, repeating what she had seen Reid do to her hand. It would not be enough, could not be nearly enough to treat the damage Danny had done to herself. Danny’s eyes were closed. There was a sheen of sweat on her forehead, burnt hair sticking to skin. She was shaking with pain. Beatrice knew at once when the morphine had taken effect. Danny’s hands unclenched on the covers. She let out a sigh, followed by a long, ragged breath. Then she went very still. This brought Beatrice close to panic again. Had she given her too much?

Danny opened her eyes. She did not seem able to focus on Beatrice, instead fixing her gaze a little to the left of Beatrice’s head. Her burnt lips stretched into a tight smile. “You came back for me.” Her teeth were stained red. 

“Yes.” Beatrice took her hand, attempting to clean the weeping wounds with a clean, wet cloth. 

Danny’s eyes fluttered closed, then opened again, her hand clenching around Beatrice’s. 

“You came back,” she repeated. Beatrice could hear the catch in her breath, the effort of each syllable. “You came back. My Rebecca.” 

Beatrice flinched. She followed Danny’s eyes again, still fixed on that point near her shoulder. There was a lump in her throat, a wild urge to drop Danny’s hand and leave her here to rot. Danny coughed, a volley of short hacking sounds. She was already beginning to shake again. 

“Yes,” Beatrice said. “I’m here. I’m here.” 

[callmekamel]

*scream quietly in the Animation lab*

Hmmm maybe I should commit to writing/finishing all my current drabble requests and uploading everything to Ao3 so that I can hopefully clear my mind (and my tablet) for a new longer fic. Feels deceptively reasonable.

[callmekamel]

[callmekamel]

@vonlipvig the way this is almost exactly what we've been discussing on here..

[callmekamel]

Got my hands on the script of Anatomy of a Fall, and I couldn't help but compare it with some scenes from the movie because that's how deep I am rn :'D Anyway, here are some of my finds and things I personally enjoyed. I'm sure there are more things to dig out but these are what I wanted to share with the world. The order of my finds will be chronological, for the most part, but keep in mind that sometimes, some scenes were edited to show up later, or earlier than originally intended. Spoilers for the whole movie obviously so you've been warned!

Takes place when Vincent first visits Sandra to discuss Samuel's death. In the movie, Sandra stops Vincent and cuts him harshly, saying "STOP, I did not kill him". Vincent then says a line that I think is pretty iconic in the movie, a sarcastic : "That's not the point. Really". His line is much harsher than on the script, where he's a bit softer. "You don't need to tell me that" implies that he has some deep, loyal faith in Sandra, while "That's not the point" cuts any further discussion. He really doesn't wanna know if she actually did it. Comes from a wish to remain blind still, but with less innocence and a lot of denial. Oh, Vincent.

In the movie, his last line is way better imo, he says "No one's gonna believe that. I don't believe that." I like the emphasis on his opinion rather than the fleeting and impersonal "it's really hard to believe". Truly hits way harder and puts Vincent back in the position of a lawyer.

The rest will be under the cut because I think it's gonna be a wall of text I apologize guys...... This movie does things to my brain.

There's a scene that was cut where Vincent phones Nour while still at Sandra's, which I would have enjoyed a lot but I'll admit it's a bit filler-y. Doesn't add a lot and kinda cuts the serious tone of Sandra's confession, imo, as they discuss the judge's antics in a pretty comical manner. I just love Nour so I'm based......

Another, REALLY long scene that was cut where a medium comes into Sandra's house to feel Samuel's ghost and foreshadows Daniel poisoning Snoop with aspirin. I had a good laugh at that one, honestly. It feels pretty out of place with the tone of the movie, and the personality of the characters even... I can't picture Sandra calling a medium. I'm glad they removed it because the foreshadowing was unnecessary too. It's still interesting that they had planned it however.

This takes place after Vincent finds out about the tape. Interestingly, his whole line was cut after "before he died". In the movie, he never comments on Sandra's affairs/sexuality. He never really asks much about her life at all. He truly is blinded by his wish to shield himself from her inner demons, in order to maintain his undying loyalty towards her. To see what he wants of her...

Another scene that was completely cut (a flashback, I believe?) where Sandra makes Daniel pose for a german photographer to make some money, which Monica dislikes, and then they argue. I think it really frames her as too unsympathetic, so I'm also glad it was cut.

Okay, so now, here comes The Big Change. The scene where Vincent and Sandra drink together after the first trial was heavily altered, because its tone in the movie is pretty tense when compared with the lightheartedness of the script. In the script, they laugh and reminisce together about the past and even kiss at the end of the scene. In the movie, none of was I screenshot happens : instead of playing along with the 'firing Vincent' suggestion, the scene ends with Sandra scolding Vincent for judging her in his head. Vincent backs off and the scene ends. Another instance of him not pressing emotional depth to shield himself.

There are other scenes I liked (many that touch upon Sandra's books) but I'll stop there. Hope you'll enjoy that... I might draw some of these so stay tuned... This movie has absorbed my soul but it feels good to be alive, thank you Justine Triet.