callmemoth

[callmemoth]

i love how hyped they were for dalien's poly relationship and then immediately turned around and were like "okay but which of them is going to be The One for him😊" mr and mr games your 15 years of monogamy is showing

[callmemoth]

The Sims: you can now have polyamorous relationships!

polyamory understander Dan: so, it's like a game where we make Dalien flirt with everyone, and then pick out our favourite to take to prom, right???

[callmemoth]

Average danisnotonfire 2009 tweet

[callmemoth]

[callmemoth]

phil's dad circa 2009 playing through the interactive christmas adventure to support his quirky son and his new friend in their creative endeavors, getting to the end and hearing "congratulations, you've won a copy of me and phil's sex tape!" as the weird kid he let into his home starts undressing for the camera

[callmemoth]

this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

[callmemoth]

It turns out he was a fan of me and Phil.

bonus: 

hello obnoxious billboard dan and phil - finally two people taller than us

[callmemoth]

people: dnp must be polyamorous or open or something like that

dan: WDYM YOU LIKED A VIDEO OF THIS MANS ASS

phil: dan made a new friend and i’m MAD about it

sorry but these men are too jealous to even let someone else near the other 😭

[callmemoth]

[callmemoth]

do u ever have to do the stare into the nonexistent camera when u watch dan and phil give each other points they don’t deserve purely because they’re disgustingly in love with each other

[callmemoth]

[callmemoth]

phil’s parents in 2009: who is this twink in our house

phil: that’s oomf 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[callmemoth]

Imagine you go to Dan and Phil's meet and greet as an american and you try to tell them how much they mean to you and changed your life and all they do is repeat back what you say in a terrible american accent

[callmemoth]

Favorite genre: dan screaming at phil while phil giggles into his hands like a little angel

[callmemoth]

Un mar de dudas 🌊

[callmemoth]

love that nobody can ever hear what dan's saying, unless he's talking shit, in which case everyone in the room can hear it loud and clear every single time

[callmemoth]

phil lester who wears the we're all doomed hat like a wedding ring. phil lester who says dan's name like it's a pet name. phil lester who takes a thousand photos of dan and every single one is a mosaic of how phil sees him. phil lester who riles dan up just so dan acts like a bastard about it and phil can giggle at him. phil lester who didn't want dan to move out, who didn't want dan to leave their joint work behind. phil lester who heard dan say that he needed to explore his dark painful experiences alone in gay but not proud and replied, okay, i'll be in here, you do this alone but i'm not going anywhere. phil lester who only says dan in his videos, as if everyone knows who dan is, because how could they not? phil lester who writes dan into his videos even when he's not there. phil lester who has a soulmate, right, and he calls him dan, and he takes stupid photos of him, and he keeps his name in his throat during the hiatus, and it means everything.