calmtone

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☆  na kiha  .

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     𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄  𝐖𝐀𝐒  𝐀  𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐏  𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐈𝐍  𝐇𝐈𝐒  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐓  ,  𝐆𝐀𝐙𝐄  𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐋𝐘  𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐓𝐎  𝐇𝐈𝐒  𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐓  .  the  pair  had  not  seen  each  other  in  what  𝕗  𝕖  𝕝  𝕥  like  years  (  though  ,  in  truth  ,  it  had  only  been  just  a  few  months  )  .  guilt  had  consumed  him  .  kiha  was  not  good  at  relationships  .  .  .  ａｔ  ａｌｌ  .  still  yet  ,  that  did  not  excuse  his  𝒸𝑜𝓌𝒶𝓇𝒹𝒾𝒸𝑒  in  any  light  .  he  had  let  him  down  . a  shaky  breath  escapes  him  as  he  prepαres  himself  for  what  might  come  next  .   ❝  h     hello  ,  ❞  he  utters  ,  tone  hardly  audible  .  someone  𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕖𝕕  to  be  the  one  to  break  the  ice  between  them  .  might  as  well  be  him  ,  right  ?  slowly  ,  he  allows  his  gaze  to  settle  on  the  male  before  him  ,  that  heavy  feeling  𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔  to  overtake  him  again  .  ❝  i  hadn’t  expected  to  see  you  here  .  ❞

          the  stylist  is  peacefully  minding  his  business  ,  slumped  over  in  a  small  secluded  corner  of  the  company’s  cafe,  his  eyes  raking  across  words  in  front  of  him  .  jaein  was  having  a  peaceful  day  ,  one  he  can’t  say  he’s  having  any  longer  as  the  shaky  voice  makes  it’s  way  to  his  ears  .  the  hair  on  the  back  of  his  neck  stands  up  &  a  shiver  runs  down  his  spine  ,  a  strike  of  anger  floods  through  his  system  while  he  takes  a  deep  breath  so  he  doesn’t  flip  his  shit  in  front  of  other  people  .  especially  towards  an  idol  .  (  he  would  love  to  keep  his  job  thank  you  very  much  ,  even  if  he  wanted  to  slap  the  shit  out  of  kiha  )  .

          jaein  manages  to  compose  himself  ,  however  you  couldn’t  miss  the  way  he  grit  his  teeth  at  his  best  friend  ...  former  best  friend  ,  former  best  friend  who  was  also  his  ex  .  whatever  ,  it  didn’t  matter  ,  jaein  didn’t  like  to  think  about  their  relationship  at  all  anymore  ,  he  preferred  to  not  be  near  kiha  ...  even  if  it  did  hurt  .  the  end  of  their  relationship  ,  the  messy  &  heart-wrenching  end  of  their  relationship  ,  meant  the  crash  &  burn  of  their  since  the  womb  friendship  .  “  this  is  the  only  place  we  would  end  up  seeing  each  other  ,  isn’t  it  ?  ”  his  words  are  icy  ,  “  did  you  just  come  to  say  hello  like  we’re  all  chummy  &  shit  ?  ”

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          jaein  liked  to  get  along  with  everyone  or  rather  it  was  his  instinctual  desire  to  be  liked  by  everyone  thus  in  turn  getting  along  with  everyone  ,  but  life  doesn’t  work  like  that  &  jaein  surely  learned  the  hard  way  .  in  many  cases  ,  jaein  got  along  well  with  the  idols  of  the  company  ,  most  of  them  he  could  call  friends  or  at  least  decent  acquaintances  in  some  way  or  another  ,  but  with  ruby  it  was  different  .  he  liked  to  think  he  was  calm  &  collected  ,  but  he  was  a  gemini  &  he  knew  what  sort  of  catty  behavior  could  come  out  of  him  at  any  moment  .  from  the  beginning  ,  ruby  pulled  that  behavior  out  of  him  .  “  oh  ,  ”  he  starts  ,  sneering  ,  “  you’re  here  ,  how  unfortunate  .  ”      (  @pinkrubies  )  .

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☆  im dahyung  .

––––––「   “   this is ridiculous,   ”   dahyung sighed to herself, flopping down onto one of the couches in the company’s front lobby. she wasn’t normally one for choosing to surround herself with strangers  ( or complaining, for that matter )  but at this point, she was running out of any other ideas.   “   i debuted over a year ago, why do i need to start coming up with new special talents ?   ”   even before she was a trainee, dani had never understood the appeal of showing off obscure things to do on camera, especially when the point was to promote music anyway.    “   i’ll do any choreography twice as fast if it means i don’t have to do any more weird stuff on variety shows.   ”   」

          jaein  couldn’t  help  but  laugh  as  dahyung  flopped  herself  down  next  to  him  .  head  lolling  to  the  side  to  face  her  as  he  tries  to  suppress  the  growing  amusement  on  his  face  ,  “  c’mon  it  can’t  be  that  hard  ,  ”  in  hindsight  though  he  was  being  a  little  bit  of  a  hypocrite  ,  jaein  would  have  no  idea  what  to  show  off  to  the  public  .  how  he  could  sew  a  garment  in  under  five  minutes  ?  that  doesn’t  seem  like  it’d  interest  anyone  except  for  maybe  his  grandmother  &  her  friends  .  he  just  knew  that  dahyung  was  talented  &  could  pull  off  anything  .  “  test  out  some  stuff  with  me  right  now  ,  let’s  look  up  weird  talents  on  google  !  that  will  definitely  be  interesting  ,  ”  he  chuckles  at  the  possibilities  ,  “  we  can  go  somewhere  more  private  if  it  makes  you  more  comfortable  too  ?  ”

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          life has been very hectic , but i’ve managed to queue some replies and starters for over the course of the next few days , though it’s not everything , so i’m sorry if i wasn’t able to get to something of urs ! i'll also try and get to ims super soon i’m just really really busy sorry guys 😔

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☆  tasanee chatichai  .

    THE IDEA of being an idol wasn’t favored in the household fei grew up in. her parents were supportive with everything else BUT this dream their daughter wanted. if anything, they wanted her to go into swimming, or something more stable than going into a career that just wasn’t guaranteed at all. they feared for their daughter packing her life up and moving to korea, she took matters into her own hands and she didn’t look back. now that she debuted with a wonderful team and a group of members she loves, a point was proven to her parents. “i think just going through the training process and actually seeing things with your own eyes, you grow a sense of respect to the senior groups for going through so much. everyone has something to say though, gotta keep living your life.” it was easier said than done, but she tries to be alright with whatever someone has to say about her, as long as it doesn’t bring her mother’s in the picture. fei giggled at the male’s words, “so what you’re saying is, someone could say how tall an idol is but until you see it for yourself, you won’t believe it?”

          jaein  knew  well  enough  about  what  people  had  to  say  .  his  own  father  gave  him  choice  words  that  any  parent  who  actually  loved  their  child  should  never  utter  to  them  .  the  peers  around  him  (  who  weren’t  his  friends  ,  but  he  didn’t  know  how  else  to  classify  them  ,  especially  since  he  spent  too  much  time  around  them  )  made  assumptions  about  him  ,  about  his  nature  just  by  how  he  looked  or  how  much  money  he  had  in  his  pocket  at  that  moment  .  jaein  had  a  weak  heart  though  ,  stuff  like  that  gets  ingrained  in  his  head  &  he  was  sure  he  wouldn’t  last  a  day  in  idol  life  seeing  what  he  saw  just  by  working  at  the  company  .  “  easier  said  than  done  though  ,  people  are  cruel  .  i’ve  never  understood  how  just  because  you  all  are  public  figures  means  they  can  have  full  access  to  every  part  of  you  ,  ”  the  thought  makes  jaein  shiver  ,  “  i  mean  ,  kinda  yeah  ,  like  it’s  the  meaning  behind  it  that  i’m  trying  to  get  at  more  .  you  never  know  until  you  know  sort  of  thing  ?  it  all  comes  down  to  assumptions  ,  i  guess  .  ”

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☆  byun taebin  .

taebin startles at the voice, whipping around to face the stylist, sighing softly. “i’m really not doing that great.” he watches the person he was practicing with take the moment of distraction to bolt out of the room, a frown forming on his face. was he really that bad? he turns his attention back to jaein, black hair sticking to his forehead slightly. “you don’t need to embarrass yourself for me hyung….” he ruffles his messy hair, a few strands falling out of place from the sweat. “i got scouted because of my visuals, and i can sing a little bit, that’s pretty much it i suppose. dance just isn’t my strong suit… at this rate they’ll never put me in a group.”

          the  defeat  in  the  younger  boy’s  voice  really  pulls  at  jaein’s  heartstrings  ,  his  soft  spot  for  anyone  in  distress  always  got  him  in  trouble  .  his  weakness  to  never  give  up  on  people  also  did  ,  but  he  was  sure  the  boy  in  front  of  him  was  completely  harmless  .  “  hey  ,  don’t  put  yourself  down  like  that  ,  you’re  doing  the  best  that  you  can  ,  ”  an  instinct  to  protect  the  young  boy  buzzes  through  his  veins  ,  “  skills  like  that  take  time  to  get  down  &  you’ll  never  be  perfect  ,  no  one  will  ,  but  you  practicing  as  hard  as  you  are  is  the  first  step  !  plus  ,  some  of  these  kids  can’t  sing  like  you  do  ,  everyone  has  their  strengths  &  weaknesses  .  ”  jaein  was  doing  his  best  to  sound  reassuring  ,  but  maybe  he  was  being  a  little  preachy  ,  seeing  the  trainees  down  always  made  his  heart  jolt  .  “  c’mon  ,  i  don’t  mind  the  embarrassment  !  i’ve  done  far  worse  before  ,  a  little  dancing  won’t  do  me  any  harm  .  ”

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          hi guys ! just so you know i’ve taken like . a small hiatus ? i guess u could call it that KMSKSMS but it’s not really i just won’t be Super active or on as much to answer ims and stuff until around wednesday next week !

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☆  kwon yejin  .

    the manager was grateful to see that jaein was the one that interrupted her and not one of the young idols that wanted to throw a punch at her; they really needed to learn the art of timing. the other had been a big help, she couldn’t deny it and the worst part of it was… she could trust him. that never seemed to happen before but he accepted her stance on many things and ahyoung loved spending time with him. she couldn’t have asked much more from the other. “ahyoung is fine but she’s at home and i’m here. do you see why this is growing to be a problem? i work so i can provide and i don’t even get to see her anymore.” the woman forced herself to take a deep breath as her emotions ran high. “in real life, you’re given no choice.” everything was always her responsibility and while she was good at handling it, it didn’t mean that she was any less sick of it. she felt like she was failing because she was left to it, the pressure always on her and she had a hard time accepting that sometimes she would fall short.

          sure  ,  ms.  kwon  was  hard-headed  &  a  little  bit  condescending  at  times  .  she  scared  the  living  shit  out  of  jaein  ,  but  for  some  reason  ,  probably  due  to  the  fact  that  his  heart  was  so  big  ,  he  cared  for  her  .  the  familiarity  of  her  around  him  due  to  how  much  he’d  spent  time  with  her  &  even  spent  time  at  her  house  watching  over  little  ahyoung  .  so  ,  it  wasn’t  unusual  to  see  jaein’s  brows  furrowing  in  upset  ,  “  i  can  see  why  that’s  a  problem  ,  yes  ,  ”  he  starts  ,  voice  cautious  ,  said  in  a  way  that  would  be  the  equivalent  of  how  you’d  approach  a  wounded  animal  .  “  i  get  work  &  providing  for  her  &  i  get  life  not  really  giving  you  a  choice  ,  but  you  could  take  some  time  off  for  yourself  ?  everyone  needs  it  once  in  a  while  &  you’ve  provided  enough  to  the  company  to  do  so  at  this  point  .  ”

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☆  nam hanjae  .

//* ʜɪꜱ ᴄʜᴇᴇᴋꜱ ꜰʟᴜꜱʜᴇᴅ against his will, betraying his cool exterior ( although, really, did he ever have a cool exterior to begin with? ). having him there made jaein happy. hanjae had a hard time believing that his presence alone could make anyone happy, but if jaein felt that way then who was he to deny it? what made jaein happy made hanjae happy, and he found it sort of pathetic that he wasn’t exaggerating in the slightest when he said that. “ ah, so the rest of the staff gets annoyed with me distracting you, but you’re cool with it. noted, ” he concluded jokingly, punctuating the statement with an airy giggle. even as jaein spoke, hanjae was shaking his head stubbornly, having made up his mind already. “ i’ll be there, ” he answered, finality sinking in through his tone. he made a mental note to dig through his email later for the schedule his manager had sent him earlier in the week and come up with a good excuse to move things around. 

warm. “ am i? that’s not exactly a word i’d use to describe myself, but i’ll take it. ” maybe he was warm. but if so, he was sure it was merely a reflection of jaein off of himself— hanjae wasn’t warm, but he became warm when the stylist entered his space, radiating that positive energy of his and setting every inch of hanjae’s being on fire. “ …okay. promise you’ll show me when you’re ready, though? ” he asked, quirking his head slightly to the right as he laid on the pout thick, hopeful. he just wanted to be to jaein as jaein was to him— wanted to return the unconditional support and tell him how amazing he was and make him feel just as accomplished and confident as jaein did for him. the thing about monitoring his music by himself or with his producer or other music experts was that they were constantly looking for flaws, aiming to pick out things that didn’t sound quite right and fix them to be more marketable. but jaein took an entirely different approach, went in with an open mind and zero expectations and just listened to understand what hanjae had created. 

hanjae took advantage of the other’s closed eyes to simply indulge himself for a moment, his own lyrics fading into vague melodies as nothing more than a backtrack for jaein’s visuals. because jaein was breathtaking— and he didn’t mean it in the flashy way that an instagram model was, although that could easily be said about the stylist as well— but like a detailed painting that you could stare at for hours straight and still find something new, something you’d never even noticed before. but the track quickly approached its final chords, and hanjae averted his eyes, as if he hadn’t been daydreaming about holding jaein’s hands and skipping off into the fucking sunset for the past three and a half minutes. he couldn’t stop the way heat spread upward from his neck with every word of praise that jaein spoke, letting a soft, awkward laugh escape his lips, as if that might do anything to hide it. “ you sure you’re not a lyricist? you really sound like one sometimes, y’know. ” because to hanjae, it still very much sounded like jaein was exaggerating, but at least he did it with delicately chosen kind words that made the soloist feel like he’d really created something special. “ thank you, ” he said then, finally. “ i’d love it if that was the kind of feeling i gave people with my music. ” he’d love it if he were to be able to give jaein that feeling in person as well, though he didn’t dare say that out loud. “ i’m thinking of adding in feminine vocals to that track as well, to make it flow a bit smoother— what do you think? i do have to be a bit careful with that, though, since my own tone is pretty high. ”

          jaein  chuckles  ,  soft  &  loud  at  the  same  time  recalling  memories  of  shoots  that  hanjae  had  attended  .  he  was  always  a  big  distraction  for  the  stylist  ,  ever  since  the  first  time  &  really  ,  jaein  wouldn’t  have  it  any  other  way  .  sure  ,  the  other  staff  on  set  would  always  give  them  a  glare  when  their  laughs  were  a  bit  too  loud  or  the  whispers  they  thought  were  hushed  weren’t  hushed  ,  they  would  always  pull  him  aside  afterwards  ,  tell  him  to  focus  a  little  bit  more  than  pay  attention  to  some  boy  .  they  gave  him  looks  like  they  knew  what  was  going  through  his  head  every  time  he  so  much  as  looked  at  hanjae  laughing  or  smiling  or  even  just  standing  there  (  in  reality  they  just  had  to  take  one  glance  at  the  way  his  eyes  sparked  upon  seeing  hanjae  to  know  what  jaein  was  feeling  )  .  “  yeah  ,  they  do  ,  but  don’t  pay  any  mind  to  them  ,  i  get  my  job  done  &  have  fun  with  you  at  the  same  time  ,  they’re  just  sad  because  i’m  laughing  &  smiling  while  they  scowl  .  ”  giggling  ,  a  warm  feeling  spreads  across  his  skin  at  the  prospect  of  hanjae  showing  up  ,  “  good  ,  even  though  i’m  right  across  from  you  now  ,  i  can’t  wait  to  see  you  again  .  ”

          it  was  gross  how  true  the  statement  was  .  jaein  wasn’t  clingy  to  the  point  where  he  couldn’t  be  away  from  hanjae  ,  no  that’s  not  it  ,  it’s  just  that  he’s  always  looking  forward  to  next  time  .  plus  ,  that  would  just  be  weird  at  the  point  they’re  at  now  ...  that’s  really  not  even  a  point  .  hanjae  is  just  being  nice  to  him  ,  friendly  ,  still  doesn’t  help  jaein’s  heartbeat  slow  down  .  he’s  known  for  getting  himself  too  deep  into  situations  &  this  one  is  no  different  .  “  why  not  ?  ”  jaein  cocks  his  head  to  the  side  ,  curious  .  hanjae  is  the  definition  of  warm  in  jaein’s  books  ,  then  again  ,  despite  the  image  hanjae  puts  out  to  the  public  that  does  make  jaein  wince  a  little  ,  he  makes  him  feel  so  safe  ,  so  warm  ,  so  loved  .  “  of  course  ,  i  just---  i  want  it  to  be  perfect  for  you  .  ”  so  many  words  left  unsaid  after  that  .  i  want  to  be  perfect  for  you  ,  i  want  you  to  be  in  awe  to  the  point  you  can’t  hold  yourself  back  .  the  thought  makes  his  smile  falter  ,  but  he’s  quick  to  recover  it  .

          there’s  nothing  like  listening  to  hanjae’s  soft  voice  to  make  any  negative  feelings  or  thoughts  dissipate  into  thin  air  .  it’s  why  he  finds  himself  so  engrossed  in  the  song  ,  making  sure  he  hears  every  single  bit  of  it  despite  his  small  knowledge  of  the  way  music  works  &  how  it’s  put  together  .  jaein  chuckles  softly  ,  eyes  crinkling  up  into  beautiful  crescents  ,  “  no  ,  i  wish  i  was  as  good  with  my  words  as  you  are  .  i’m  really  just  a  bumbling  fool  ,  but  there  must  be  something  about  you  that  makes  me  wax  poetic  .  ”  another  chuckle  before  he’s  speaking  again  ,  hoping  not  too  much  emotion  ,  not  too  much  feeling  was  displayed  in  those  words  ,  yet  he  was  sure  there  were  ,  he  just  didn’t  want  to  dwell  on  it  too  much  .  “  you  should  teach  me  sometime  though  ,  i’d  really  love  to  learn  as  much  as  i  can  ,  especially  since  this  is  your  life  &  your  passion  .  ”  maybe  he  just  wanted  to  be  closer  to  hanjae  ,  be  able  to  fully  understand  everything  that  went  down  in  this  studio  ,  sue  him  !  “  you’re  welcome  &  i  assure  you  so  many  people  feel  that  way  .  ”  not  like  he  occasionally  checks  hanjae’s  tags  on  twitter  ,  nope  .  “  i  think  it’d  be  lovely  actually  !  just  find  a  balance  between  both  of  you  ,  especially  with  the  melody  ,  high  vocals  all  around  would  be  beautiful  ,  lets  it  flow  more  &  gives  it  that  airy  vibe  you  always  have  .  ”

[calmtone]

☆  kim beomgyu  .

            jaein is, with beomgyu’s upmost certainty, one of his favorite people. the reason why is most likely not the same as most would, when considering such a title. but there’s something so addicting about jaein, about the way beomgyu can play with him. his pretty cat-eyes and the moles on his cheek that beomgyu can shape his lips around. it’s the blush on his cheeks after compliments and the eagerness in his eyes after praise. jaein is a puzzle, one where beomgyu has to poke and prod just the right way to get the outcome he wants. to see the picture of the boy as he likes him. 

            it’s hard to say where they stand. label mates is the easiest title. close coworkers that like to hangout. it’s not strange of beomgyu to invite him out to dinner to eat out. of course they get a private room with a call button, because they’re celebrities. they’d get no privacy if they were out in the open with all of the other patrons. and if beomgyu sits on the same booth as jaein instead of across the table, it’s so he can speak easier with his friend, catch up after some time apart.

            “jaein-ah you’ve gotten even prettier,” he coos. he pinches the lobe of the other’s ear and tugs affectionately. “how could we have gone so long without meeting? my poor heart will whither if i don’t see you often enough.” he bumps their thighs under the table and hooks their arms together. he’s got to be a demanding presence, or else jaein’s gaze will wander from him. and that won’t do. beomgyu has worked so hard to keep jaein’s attention throughout the years, and even if their relationship isn’t physical these days doesn’t mean beomgyu has lost interest. there are other ways to play with a person. ( @calmtone. )

          in  the  textbook  definition  of  easy  ,  jaein  fit  perfectly  .  really  ,  if  you  looked  it  up  there’d  be  a  fucking  selfie  the  boy  took  pasted  right  next  to  the  sexual  connotation  of  the  word  .  it’s  his  need  for  validation  over  anything  in  his  life  ,  the  validation  he  never  got  from  his  father  .  it’s  horrible  ,  he  knows  that  ,  he’s  been  aware  of  that  .  but  still  somehow  as  much  as  he’s  tried  to  quit  ,  find  someone  that’s  actually  worthwhile  ,  jaein  always  found  himself  going  back  to  his  regular  routine  .  old  habits  die  hard  as  they  like  to  say  .  

          beomgyu  was  a  bad  habit  .  not  as  bad  as  he  used  to  be  ,  jaein  liked  to  give  himself  a  pat  on  the  back  for  that  .  yet  ,  even  to  this  day  ,  without  the  hushed  whimpers  &  soft  moans  filling  the  space  between  them  ,  jaein  couldn’t  say  no  to  beomgyu  .  he  was  familiar  &  jaein  did  well  with  familiarity  .  latched  onto  it  because  those  that  were  in  his  life  ,  those  that  got  what  beomgyu  had  gotten  from  him  put  on  their  best  running  shoes  &  ditched  right  after  .

          it’s  why  he  finds  himself  sitting  right  next  to  beomgyu  when  the  other  could  easily  sit  on  the  other  side  of  the  table  .  but  jaein  basks  in  the  familiarity  of  his  touch    the  pink  color  rises  to  his  cheeks  involuntarily  (  he’s  always  been  bad  with  compliments  )  ,  “  you’re  just  saying  that  ,  ”  a  giggle  is  pushing  past  his  mouth  before  he  can  stop  it  ,  he’s  always  been  a  bit  clueless  ,  “  i’m  busy  &  you’re  busy  ,  you  lot  can’t  dress  yourselves  without  me  &  it’s  tragic  really  .  but  you’re  being  so  dramatic  ,  you  know  i’m  a  phone  call  away  ,  dummy  ,  call  me  more  often  &  you’d  see  me  more  often  .  ”

[calmtone]

im that friend that gives u lectures about life but does everything wrong

[calmtone]

☆  nam hanjae  .

//* ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ᴏꜰ ʀᴇᴄᴏɢɴɪᴛɪᴏɴ flashed in his eyes at the prospect that jaein actually wanted to see him at his shoots, more so that he waited for him to show up. that had to be an exaggeration, right? the two boys were both a fan of being overdramatic at times, maybe that’s what the younger was employing here? still, hanjae couldn’t help the racing of his heart at the thought that what he’d said was entirely true. “ really? i mean— i just kinda thought that i was a bit distracting, i didn’t wanna constantly annoy you while you’re working… but if you’re sure—? when’s the next shoot? i’ll be there. ” he probably had things scheduled, but he wouldn’t hesitate to move his schedule around if the stylist asked. was that a bit questionable? that he was willing to work his own schedule around a cute boy? probably. but if that cute boy was yang jaein— “ don’t apologize, i don’t mind clingy… i mean— i’d rather you hound me constantly than just not care, y’know? ” the statement was punctuated with an awkward breathy chuckle, just the slightest bit shy to put his truth out there like that. he didn’t wanna deny the fact that jaein was clingy— because he didn’t want to lie to him— but judging by his expression as he spoke, it was something he was a bit self conscious about. hanjae needed him to know that his quirks weren’t annoying or inconvenient or any of the other things that he probably thought about it.

“ ‘course i did!! my day was boring without my favorite boy, ” he echoed jaein’s earlier words, if only to stop himself from ranting, spilling out all of the sentiment he hid behind that statement. hanjae cleared his throat, quick to move on before he made a fool of himself. if his fingers remained tangled in the strands of jaein’s hair a few seconds longer than necessary, he didn’t bother to acknowledge it as he gave one last look to be sure he’d gotten all the glitter out before pulling his hand away. “ what— no!! why’d you take it off? i wanna see your work!! ” it was hanjae’s turn to form a pout, genuinely disheartened by the fact that jaein had been experimenting with a makeup look and he didn’t get to see it.

color stained the high points of his cheeks and his lips curled up softly at the edges with every word of praise that the other spoke into existence. he knew his music touched people, he’d read plenty of sentimental fan letters and twitter threads about it— but the fact that jaein liked it meant more for some reason. “ you’re exaggerating, ” he concluded simply, exhaling the words through a soft laugh. he hovered over a file named dayfly_demo.wav, hesitating for only a moment. “ please be honest with me, yeah? i value your opinion, jaeinnie, ” hanjae prefaced before he clicked play, turning up the volume of the speakers slightly before leaning back in his chair to get comfortable. the raw vocals on the track were currently all his own, though he’d been considering getting other artists on it to add a bit more texture. situating himself slightly sideways in his seat, hanjae watched jaein’s expression expectantly as the soft chords began to flow from the speakers.

          “  you  could  never  annoy  me  ,  you  know  that  right  ?  sure  ,  you  distract  me  ,  but  it’s  a  good  distraction---  i  like  having  you  there  ,  it’s  a  sure  fire  way  to  make  me  happy  .  ”  jaein  cocks  his  head  to  the  side  slightly  ,  conviction  in  his  voice  to  make  sure  hanjae  understood  what  he  was  saying  was  true  &  it  was  .  he  always  looked  forward  (  especially  after  the  first  time  )  to  seeing  hanjae  on  the  shoots  .  constantly  he  would  find  himself  glancing  at  the  doors  waiting  for  him  to  walk  in  &  it  was  pathetic  truly  ,  however  ,  he  couldn’t  stop  himself  .  there  was  something  about  hanjae  ,  there  still  is  something  about  hanjae  .  at  this  point  ,  jaein  definitely  knows  what  it  is  ,  doesn’t  really  want  to  fully  admit  it  to  himself  ,  but  the  nagging  voice  in  the  back  of  his  head  isn’t  quiet  .  “  next  one  is  in  a  couple  of  days  &  as  much  as  i’ll  miss  you  ,  i  know  you’re  busy  ,  i  can  survive  if  you  can’t  make  it  .  ”  he  just  likes  to  be  a  big  whiny  baby  about  it  ,  “  yeah  ?  ”  the  addition  of  i  do  care  about  you  a  lot  not  making  it  past  his  mouth  ,  “  if  it  ever  gets  to  be  too  much  just---  just  let  me  know  .  you’re  just  warm  &  i  like  warm  .  ”  

          speaking  of  warmth  ,  the  feeling  of  it  spreads  across  his  body  like  wildfire  hearing  hanjae  say  my  favorite  boy  .  the  phrase  shouldn’t  affect  jaein  as  much  as  it  does  ,  but  here  he  is  ,  leaning  close  to  hanjae  in  an  important  space  for  the  other  while  his  fingers  card  through  his  hair  .  not  wanting  to  ruin  the  moment  with  something  so  intimate  ,  he  forgoes  saying  i  like  when  you  say  that ,  instead  just  hums  ,  content  in  the  moment  ,  “  oh  my  god  ,  no  you  don’t  ,  i’m  just  starting  new  techniques  ...  it’s  not  great  ,  but  when  i  get  better  ,  then  i’ll  show  you  .  ”  not  mentioning  how  the  thought  of  showing  hanjae  scared  him  .  makeup  while  growing  up  was  always  a  way  to  hide  in  front  of  others  &  he’s  just  beginning  to  peel  the  correlation  back  ,  scared  that  if  hanjae  sees  him  with  it  ,  he  won’t  want  what’s  underneath  it  any  longer  .

          “  i’m  really  not  exaggerating  at  all  ,  but  i  promise  you  that  i’ll  be  very  honest  with  you  .  ”  it’s  then  as  he  watches  hanjae  play  the  track  &  then  turn  up  the  volume  that  he  leans  away  from  him  ,  settling  back  into  his  chair  before  closing  his  eyes  as  the  music  begins  to  hit  his  ears  .  jaein  listens  intently  ,  the  lines  of  his  face  softening  as  not  only  the  music  relaxes  him  ,  but  hanjae’s  voice  too  .  he  can  imagine  himself  in  his  kitchen  ,  the  feeling  of  the  instrumental  feels  like  sunlight  filtering  through  the  curtains  whereas  the  lyrics  feel  like  an  oncoming  rainfall  .  a  push  &  pull  between  joy  &  sorrow  .  it  ends  all  too  quickly  ,  jaein  taking  a  moment  before  his  eyes  flutter  open  , letting  his  head  loll  to  the  side  to  face  hanjae  ,  “  i  don’t  know  much  about  music  ,  ”  he  starts  ,  “  but  there’s  always  something  about  the  way  your  voice  carries  a  track  that  makes  me  feel  light  on  my  feet  ?  like  despite  the  lyrics  ---which  are  beautiful  by  the  way  ,  raw  &  emotional---  i  can  imagine  myself  swaying  softly  to  this  song  in  someone’s  arms  as  the  sun  sets  &  the  moon  begins  to  peek  out  .  ”  sighing  gently  ,  a  small  smile  stretches  across  his  features  ,  “  it’s  beautiful  &  that  only  being  a  demo  ?  god  ,  the  final  version  will  be  fucking  phenomenal  ,  hanjae  ,  as  always  .  ”

[calmtone]

          so , i decided to rewrite jaein’s backstory because it really lacked depth and i kind of realized that today as i felt something was just missing ? i made sure it doesn’t affect any current plots i have with him since his personality and some key points of his backstory / current story are relatively the same . anyways , if u want to read the new one , i updated his intro post with it HERE !

[calmtone]

☆  song ahri  .

A H R I just wanted to go out for bit, she needed to go pick a few toiletries and the like for her dorm. but it seemed today was supposed to be difficult, as a crowd of what she guessed was paparazzi and fans had grown outside of the main solar building. she really didn’t want to have to push through the crowd, as much as she loved fans and their support, she was just wasn’t feeling it. ahri sighed as she started out the window that was dimmed on the other size and allowed them not to see her. she turns to the nearest person, also seeming intent on leaving. “ do you know another way out, preferably not full of people? ”

          jaein  had  been  mistaken  for  a  trainee  way  too  many  times  .  as  the  public  stated  after  they’d  taken  blurry  pictures  of  him  wearing  a  mask  &  a  hat  down  low  to  cover  his  eyes  ,  he  was  way  too  beautiful  to  be  anything  else  .  those  comments  always  made  him  blush  ,  but  reminded  him  of  why  people  tended  to  flock  to  him  .  not  wanting  to  have  to  deal  with  that  today  ,  he’s  sighing  by  the  front  entrance  ,  one  he  can  normally  walk  through  without  any  hassle  .  today  has  been  hard  though  &  he  wants  nothing  to  do  with  the  paps  &  crazy  fans  waiting  to  see  their  favorite  idols  .  the  voice  next  to  him  snaps  him  out  of  his  thoughts  ,  “  not  feeling  it  today  ?  ”  he  asks  ,  offering  a  smile  ,  “  there’s  a  back  way  out  if  you  wanna  come  with  me  ?  ”

[calmtone]

☆  tasanee chatichai  .

    SHE LIKED the idea of getting dressed up as your favorite barbie doll, getting pampered and cared for like she’s the most important person in the world. the preparations for legacy’s debut were stressful, but after doing the teaser shoots and cracking down to their final days, fei couldn’t help but get the jitters. maybe it was from the fifth cup of coffee she received that day, who knows, it made her heart race with excitement. but the glamorous idol life somehow comes to an end when the job is done, when it’s time to go home or back to the studio, and fei can’t play barbie anymore. though, jaein made her feel like one more often than others after growing so close during this pressing time. she welcomed him immediately with opened arms, showing just as much interest in his job and what he likes. so, as she sat in the plastic chair, taking the makeup off, she looked through the mirror and at the other with a gentle smile. “i’m having a blast with this whole thing, i hate sitting around doing nothing, might as well work hard.” shrugging, slowly wiping off her lipstick. “how are you feeling after today? getting a glimpse of what your life will be like now?”

          see  ,  the  thing  was  ,  jaein  couldn’t  imagine  his  life  being  an  idol  .  he’d  seen  too  much  spotlight  as  a  teenager  ,  not  in  the  way  an  idol  would  ,  but  in  a  different  kind  of  way  that  was  already  too  much  for  the  young  man  .  so  thinking  about  being  watched  by  prying  eyes  ,  people  filled  with  expectation  ,  sent  shivers  down  his  spine  .  luckily  enough  ,  he  never  had  to  go  through  what  they  did  ,  only  watched  from  the  behind  the  scenes  &  made  sure  they  looked  good  for  those  prying  eyes  ,  yet  he  was  still  curious  about  the  life  .  “  that’s  nice  to  hear  ,  growing  up  there’s  always  the  horror  stories  &  fans  blowing  everything  way  out  of  proportion  ,  so  you  just  never  know  what’s  real  or  not  ,  ”  though  ,  there  is  some  truth  to  it  all  ,  the  horror  stories  &  speculation  that  is  .  “  i  feel  like  i’ve  known  what  life  was  going  to  be  like  ,  they  drilled  it  into  me  well  enough  despite  the  struggles  ,  you  know  ?  but  ,  sometimes  it  doesn’t  hit  until  it  hits  ,  does  that  make  sense  ?  like  you  don’t  know  how  tall  someone  is  until  you  actually  see  them  &  then  your  whole  view  shifts  a  little---  kinda  like  that  .  ”

[calmtone]

☆  nam hanjae  .

//* ᴊᴀᴇɪɴ ʟᴏᴏᴋᴇᴅ ꜱᴏꜰᴛ, all clingy and tired from the day’s work. and hanjae felt soft just looking at him, felt like all of his insides have turned to jelly and all of the stress had been lifted from his shoulders. like coming home after a long business trip and reveling in the familiarity that you had no idea you’d missed so much. because despite all of the butterflies and spikes of anxiety, hanjae felt truly comfortable around jaein. he made any room feel like a safe space, like nothing bad could touch him as long as he was in the other’s presence. that was what confused him the most. not the little crush itself— because look at him, who wouldn’t have a crush on jaein?— but the fact that it went beyond that, felt as comfortable and secure as his friendship with chaemi, who he’d argue he felt the most secure with out of anyone. that wasn’t what a crush was supposed to feel like, right? hanjae didn’t think so. he’d liked plenty of boys before, but this feeling was something entirely new, in a league of its own.

hanjae wasn’t surprised at how close jaein settled next to him— he’d been mentally preparing himself for it since the moment he invited the stylist over— and yet still, the moment that he made eye contact with him, close enough to just lean right in, hanjae’s breath visibly caught in his throat. “ i did miss you!!  ” he argued in his defense, entirely honest. “ and i wasn’t ignoring you, you fuckin’ drama queen, i was in meetings. i didn’t see you trying to contact me either, so obviously you had just as busy of a day. ” something shiny caught the soloist’s eye, and he didn’t even think twice before reaching a hand up, running his fingers through jaein’s bangs to remove the bit of glitter stuck there. “ how close were you standing to the makeup artists? it’s like they just flung loose glitter at you. ”

he let out a vague hum in response to the assumption that jaein was his favorite boy, though he didn’t dare protest something so true. he was thankful to have an excuse to tear his eyes away from the other’s adorable little pout, however, turning his attention to his computer to save his poor heart the grief. “ i actually made some progress on that track i showed you last time, i think. i dunno, it sounds a bit more polished now, but i’m still not sure if it resonates, y’know? ” he explained as he clicked around his desktop to find the right file.

          the  pout  stays  as  he  huffs  out  a  breath  ,  keeping  eye  contact  with  hanjae  the  whole  time  because  the  other  was  just  so  compelling  ,  so  alluring  that  jaein  didn’t  want  to  tear  his  gaze  away  .  “  hey  ,  i  did  !  ...  or  well  i  thought  about  it  ,  i  just  kept  wondering  if  you’d  show  up  to  the  shoot  &  you  never  did  ,  so  i  guess  it  slipped  my  mind  to  actually  ask  you  ,  ”  a  rosy  hue  finds  it’s  way  to  his  cheeks  at  the  realization  before  he  chuckles  softly  to  himself  ,  “  i’m  just  clingy  ,  ‘m  sorry  .  ”  there’s  a  certain  edge  to  his  voice  as  he  says  it  ,  a  hint  of  sorrow  peeking  through  before  he  clears  his  throat  ,  ridding  himself  of  the  because  i  really  like  you  that  he  didn’t  say  ,  “  you  really  missed  me  though  ?  ”  

          that  thought  sounds  absurd  in  jaein’s  head  ,  the  man  he’s  so  smitten  with  actually  missing  him  ?  no  one  ever  missed  him  ,  they  missed  what  he  had  when  it  was  gone  &  just  the  thought  that  hanjae  truly  missed  him  made  butterflies  erupt  in  his  stomach  .  not  at  all  being  helped  by  the  gentle  action  of  hanjae  running  his  fingers  through  the  stylist’s  hair  .  it  sends  shivers  down  his  spine  as  he  leans  into  the  touch  involuntarily  ,  “  i  was  doing  it  on  myself  ,  ”  jaein  hums  ,  remembering  how  he’d  taken  it  off  just  prior  to  bombarding  hanjae  with  annoying  little  text  messages  ,  “  i  guess  i  was  being  a  bit  too  messy  &  got  it  everywhere  .  ‘s  a  good  thing  you  didn’t  see  the  look  ,  if  i  got  it  everywhere  you  know  ,  it  was  probably  hideous  .  ”

          his  ears  perk  up  at  the  mention  of  hanjae’s  track  ,  sitting  upright  ,  creating  slight  distance  as  he  begins  buzzing  in  his  seat  .  anything  hanjae  released  was  a  masterpiece  .  jaein  always  found  himself  playing  his  tracks  as  he  cooked  a  late  night  dinner  for  himself  ,  the  stars  shining  through  the  windows  ,  &  the  breeze  whipping  the  curtains  around  gently  .  “  i  bet  it’s  amazing  ,  ”  fond  memories  flashing  behind  his  eyes  ,  “  anything  you  do  is  amazing  ,  you  know  that  right  ,  hannie  ?  you  could  take  dirt  &  turn  it  into  a  work  of  art  ,  this  track  isn’t  gonna  be  any  different  .  ---- have  you  found  it  ?  play  it  please  .  ”  tone  gentle  ,  expecting  ,  eyelids  beginning  to  flutter  closed  .

[calmtone]

☆  byun taebin  .

“i’m sorry can you please go over it one more time?” taebin pushes his black hair out of his face, looking sympathetically at the other person, his dark eyes worried. “i’m trying really hard i promise. i’m just not the greatest dancer, but i really want to do well so that i can keep training here, and i can debut sometime soon and…” he realizes that he’s rambling, cheeks turning light pink against the freckles splattered on his face. “sorry…” he nervously takes a drink of water. “maybe i should just ask the choreographer for help or something…”

          jaein  was  usually  just  a  bystander  ,  he  watched  the  way  others  treated  the  trainees  &  his  kind  heart  ached  for  the  small  babies  .  most  of  the  time  he  couldn’t  push  himself  to  say  anything  ,  the  fear  of  his  job  being  on  the  line  ,  one  his  mother  had  bought  his  way  into  ,  not  wanting  to  run  the  risk  of  losing  it  &  disappointing  not  only  the  girls  ,  but  his  mother  .  however  now  ,  passing  by  the  sweet  little  thing  ,  jaein  couldn’t  not  say  something  .  “  hi  ,  angel  ,  ”  he  coos  softly  ,  walking  towards  him  like  he  was  a  wounded  animal  ,  “  from  what  i  saw  you  were  doing  amazing  ,  way  better  than  i  could  do  ,  ”  leaning  down  to  whisper  the  last  part  ,  “  or  anyone  else  if  i’m  being  honest  .  ”  jaein  smiles  gently  ,  “  i  don’t  know  what  i  can  do  to  help  ,  but  i  can  always  stay  for  moral  support  ?  or  you  can  even  teach  me  a  couple  moves  &  i’ll  try  them  for  myself  ,  you’ll  surely  get  a  laugh  at  how  i  have  two  left  feet  .  ”