calumhi - Tumblr blog

[calumhi]

Then make your own damn lemonade, just not using the lemons life gives you.

But what if you want lemonade?

[calumhi]

If life gives you lemons, throw them right back. You don’t want lemons. Lemons aren’t good enough. You’re too good for lemons.

[calumhi]

@MTVPress; Heart throbs @5SOS #VMAS 

[calumhi]

Even so, short walks to the fridge are better. Actually, no walks to the fridge are better. Get other people to bring you food. By the way, 'm Calum, in case that wasn't assumed.

That’s what everyone keeps saying, I guess it depends how hungry I am.

[calumhi]

Oh, my God! Adelaide saying something nice about Calum Hood for the first time in her entire life? Are you feeling okay? Would you like me to take your temperature and make you a doctors appointment? But in that case, I'm all yours. But 9:30 still means I have to wake up at like, 9. That's so early, you wake up so early. One of these days, I'm gonna force you to sleep in just so you can understand the luxuries of not waking up earlier than your favorite person in the entire world, a.k.a me. I am not! You're the one who wants to have my babies. Yes, by the way, you do. But it's not me. It's probably some random guy who lives like, 3,000 miles away and stalks you from his house in Taiwan. I forgot, yes, you were 1/5 of the original 5 Seconds of Summer fam. You were there when I still got nervous before we played a show! Aw, that's cute. I've been legal since January, get on my level, old lady. Jennifer Lawrence is Katniss, and Katniss is greater than everyone. It's just the way the real world works, dork.

Maybe I want you there? God! Why do you make me say nice things to you? Nope, I go every morning at 9:30 and don’t underestimate me, I will come in your house and force you to come with me. I’ll buy you coffee so then it’ll be okay. You’re such an egomaniac, you geek. I just wanted to know If I had a stalker on my hands. Here we go again with the ego. Excuse you sir but I came to your gigs before you sold out arenas so don’t even try to make me feel bad about not supporting you. I wear my 5 Seconds of Summer shirt quite often. You’re hardly legal but I guess that’s okay. Um, are you saying Jennifer Lawrence is better than me?

[calumhi]

Oh, good. Let's go on a mission to find all the people who spell it 'defiantly' and grammar books in the world and give them out like it's Christmas.

You mean the type of people I want to smack with a grammar book? Yeah, let’s talk about ‘em.

[calumhi]

@adelaidekane UPLOADED A NEW PHOTO.

Professional pain in my ass. (I love you, don’t tell anyone.) @calumhood

♥ calumhood liked this 549k LIKES, 22k COMMENTS.

calumhood u miss me, admit it u dork VIEW ALL COMMENTS.

[calumhi]

I never agreed to this, Ads. If I have to wake up before ten, I'm out. I'll follow you to your afternoon festivities, though, just 'cause you insist. I dunno, do you hope I pay a scary amount of attention to you so you can say Calum Hood pays a scary amount of attention to you? I'm kidding, I've learned a lot in these past years, trust me on that one. No question. I sing beautifully only when I'm serenading a girl. Hannah Montana, though, is questionable. Are you jealous 'cause I'm too pop punk for you? Naw, I kid, again. If you wanna be my bestie, you have to support my punk band. You catchin' my drift? Hey, I'm legal! I won't believe that my genes are impeccable until someone like Jennifer Lawrence says it, though. I'm just waiting.

Okay, true. I’ll pick you up on tomorrow for my annual Coffee Bean trip. How do you know me so well? Do you just pay a scary amount of attention to me? Oh stop, I love Hannah Montana and you sang it beautifully. I think you should bring it back, honestly. Forget this punk band and become a Hannah Montana cover band. No one would believe that my sweet self would get in the sort of trouble you get yourself into, Hood! Um, absolutely. I’m sure I’ve told you that completely sober. You may be a little baby but you have impeccable genes.

[calumhi]

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[calumhi]

i lived // one republic

[calumhi]

Shut up, that's not my job. That's the paparazzi's job, though I'm sure you'd rather me follow you around everywhere than the paparazzi. They're annoying and not Australian. You're normal, when you wanna be. Whether or not you're normal totally depends on your mood that day. For example, when you got drunk with me and asked me to serenade you with Hannah Montana? One of the weirdest nights of my entire life, so far. You're not gonna laugh, 'cause you're gonna be right there with me. 'Cause I'm gonna blame you, for everything, from now on. If drunk words speak sober thoughts, you want me to father your children. Are drunk words still sober thoughts, Kane?

You just want to follow me around everywhere, Cal. I am not weird! I am completely normal… right? I think I’m normal, at least. I don’t think I do much that’s abnormal besides that one time I got drunk with you and tried to hail an ambulance. You know, as true as that is, you’re gonna get yourself stuck in a situation one day and I’m just gonna laugh at you. You have said that! I remember well! It’s completely true, drunk words speak sober thoughts. I’m still perfect actually.

[calumhi]

Long walks to the fridge? Shouldn't you enjoy short walks to the fridge?

I’m Bethany, if you didn’t know. I enjoy long walks to the fridge, Starbucks and cuddling.

[calumhi]

Don't worry, Ads. I'll just have to go with you every time you go for coffee, or the grocery store, and all that stuff. Just to show people that hot people can have Australian accents. They might make fun of you because they think we're all as weird as you. I will admit, though, more than sometimes, the shitty situations I get myself into make for amazing stories. I've said that?! It's partially true, partially. You're still weird.

Literally everyone! I go out to get coffee, go to the grocery store, grab a bite to eat—people always laugh at me. Well yeah, that’s because you play in a band and talk yourself out of shitty situations that you’re notorious for getting yourself into. Um, no. You’ve said numerous times whilst intoxicated that I’m the hottest girl ever even if I made you, don’t lie to yourself.

[calumhi]

Calum Hood & Olivia Holt

[calumhi]

I do a pretty fantastic fake Australian accent.

My favorite part about being in London is talking to strangers in my best English accent. Because they don’t know that I’m not one of them. One of their kind. Unless of course they fucking watch Teen Wolf and say “Aren’t you in that American television program?” To which I just smile, laugh, then walk away. Fucking Teen Wolf, ruining my dream of being a true English gentleman. Oh and I’m Dylan by the way. But honestly I’d rather much be Sir Dylan O’Brien III. So whichever you want to call me, I’m down with either. 

[calumhi]

Tay, you're a horrid role model. I refuse to sink to your level, be nice. Just 'cause I've always wanted to be a badass with tons of scars, doesn't mean I'm willing to punch people who spell definitely like 'defiantly' in the face.

That’s how it should be. Show ‘em you mean business. Maybe punch them in the face to scare them a ‘lil.

[calumhi]

Who makes fun of you for your accent?! I dunno about you, but my accent has saved me in more than one situations, no exaggeration. People tend to be nicer to people with Australian accents, but maybe that's just 'cause I'm so much hotter than you. Don't be in denial, Kane. It's the cold, hard, truth.

You’d be amazed, Cal. I get made fun of for my accent all of the time, they’re a lot hotter on boys believe me. Yeah well, some of us are hotter than others, example: me being much hotter than you.