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julietfarrowâ:
Juliet; i just had a lady bitch me out because I had the audacity to not serve her 17 year old a long island ice tea on the course Juliet: Dear lord I need the worlds biggest drink or fattest blunt. Juliet: Please tell me your free tonight
calvin: how many ounces is the worldâs biggest drink
calvin: and can it be shared with minors on the golf course
calvin:Â iâm available tonight but iâm hardly free. spending time with me requires a cover charge
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giovannirussoâ:
Location: Employee Lounge.
âHey,â Gio looked over from where he was topping off his coffee with a nip of whiskey. âYou got plans tonight?â
âdepends.â calvin quickly chirped though its hardly depending on any factor due to his perpetual loneliness. âyou got another nip to spare? that may cloud my judgment enough to make plans with you.â
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text đ± nick
C: tennis question
C: are the skirts a requirement? i've been really trying to work on my serve but the brisk breeze blowing up my hairy legs is wildly distracting
C: also did u and zara hang out last night. jw
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closed : @dazcdsâ
location : the valet station
âdo you ever feel the unshakable need to ram the cars into each other? sure, itâd be costly but would it be coming out of your pocket? i feel like itâd be the ultimate stress relief. not to mention retaliation against the egos of the rich pricks who come here would be socially and emotionally gratifying. first, we crash their cars. then, the disassembly of their fragile masculinity practically unravels itself.â calvinâs head is on a swivel as he surveys the parking lot, sitting amongst vehicles that are worth more money than heâll ever get. the chance to see. but he doesnât exactly have the same motivations as the people who drive them and thatâs clear by the spite in his voice. âitâd be like a real life game of gta or park that car, donât you want to make the violence of video games your reality?â
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hghlndsbrtndrâ:
âFor a minute I almost forgot what an arse you are.â His expression dead serious, his tone gave him away as he pulled out the Bud Light and slid it across the counter. âI can deal with the boring drinks as long as my company isnât boring too.â It was supposed to be a compliment â Calvin was one of the more interesting people around the country club, coming from a rock and roll playing biker that stuck out like a sore thumb. But he couldnât leave a compliment well enough alone. âGuess Iâm shit out of luck with you, huh?â
âthatâs kind of endearing that you were able to forget, no matter how fleeting the moment was.â calvin smirked, the upturned corners of his lips an unlikely sight but a right of passage to some. âiâll try to entertain as much as possible but unfortunately i left my clown shoes in my room.â he shrugged. sometimes it was exhausting for him to be the person that he was. someone that people were so enchanted by, so naturally drawn too yet they feared him just the same. âyou know what they say about guys with big feet. itâs a legacy as hard to fill as my big clown shoes. iâm just so naturally disappointing.â
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text đ± ellie
E: noooo you have to eat actual food! that's not good for you anyway, let alone a red bull on an empty stomach?
E: i'm bringing you something, what do you want?
C: some people are picky eaters, this is my version of that
C: you could bring me another red bull
C: maybe some cool ranch doritos
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ofrockwoodâ:
         with a scrunch of his nose, link represented the doubt emoji in the point five seconds it took for his friend to interrupt himself with a sharp shooter, the golf ball that proceeded to fly high in the air not enough for link to distract his prying thoughts away from what he figured calvin was bound to say â cumin, obviously. love in the form of cumin. â dude, donât bring math or graphs into this. if you wanna slap down some cold hard facts about golfers & their lost balls, take it up with tiger woodsâ ex-wife. iâm sure sheâd have a lot to say about how much these sleezeheads get laid & have fun outside of their cookie cutter marriage, â he argued, indulging calvin in his sidebar before they were both back on the same track. at least, the track link was willing to ride on. something reminiscent to a side street, rather than a main highway, as though link was going out of his way to go out of the way of what calvin was implying. â i think youâre mistaking my âsabotageâ for something else ⊠â he veered off, lips then upturning into a tense smile when he continued with ( albeit twinged with sarcasm ), â is this about when we âmade outâ. yknow, last week?? when i pulled a scott pilgrim on you & said âi gotta pee on youâ before i like, booked it to the bathroom to hide?? is that it?? âcause yeah, i remember all of that, maxfield. thanks for lookinâ out & reminding me to never take my clothes off again. â
âtiger woodsâ ex wife traded him in an nfl player. football players would be in the top right corner of the graph in the maximum fun and maximum lay category. when do you think the last time tiger got laid was? his ex is pregnant with professional, successful athlete spawn. meanwhile, tigerâs only known for being a.. fore!â now calvin was doing it just for fun even if it wasnât at all funny. perhaps he was far more conditioned to making trivial jokes that would make the dull-witted people around him laugh. with link, it was different. the comedy, the behavior, the affection or lack there of depending on the day or amount of alcohol in their systems. âjokeâs on you, iâd never own up to making a mistake.â the man chimed pointedly with a toothy grin. but linkâs recollection of events or the week prior wiped the smile off his face, opting more so for a humbled grin. âi told you it was fine. tequila makes everyone get naked.â calvin tossed the ball back, expecting him to scramble to catch it. âi just thought you were throwing up because you drank too much. i didnât know you had a case of the butterflies, link. you could have just said that.â
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text đ± ellie
E: well aren't you a charmer đ
E: no no no, you're squidward, i'm spongebob
E: but i could swing by if you'd like some company!! what do you want for lunch?
C: nah, just know what you wanna hear.
C: i can carve out an hour or two, just don't tell the chef
C: i'm going to have a half pack of marb reds and a red bull for lunch. i'm more concerned about what we're doing at lunch time
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oflibbysâ:
âwhatever you made for table 12, i want that. might have been the most beautiful iâve ever laid eyes on, truly.â that was one of the things that she had always enjoyed about working in a country club, the food was better than most places. the wealthy clientele only expected the best, and thatâs certainly what they got at the end of it. she wouldnât be able to afford it otherwise, so at least she could pretend for a moment that she did. âwell my personality thanks you dearly,â she grinned. âheâs got the right idea about you. but no, heâs actually scary. he yelled at me once because i had stepped into the kitchen for a literal second, and thatâs why i can only talk to you through the confines of this window. itâs a tragedy, really.â
âi can think of something more beautiful.â calvin winked for the sole purpose of seeing her smile not because he actually meant it. the plate he put out was pretty beautiful. âwell, your personality is polite. you - not so much. make me this. no, calvin. i wonât go on a date with you that. you might be my least favorite person besides the dishwasher who steals the trash bags and brings them home to pick through.â in the midst of their conversation, heâd begun on the girlâs chicken piccata as requested. the act was so mindless, much like this job as a whole. the kitchen was a well oiled machine with little room for error if you did it enough. âwell, you shouldnât have stepped on the line. you stay over there and iâll stay here. starcrossed lovers. the front of house and kitchen manager donât want to see us together, baby.â
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shellmckinneyâ:
    ON SOME NIGHTS, when she didnât want to go home, shelly stayed at work to â ensure everything was in working order. â code word for being antsy and fucking about. it wasnât completely unheard of, she had the keys to the gate and she did clean up if she thought of it ( which wasnât often ) so she thought she was justified as long as this didnât end in a crime scene. and did she sometimes let her friends hang out, too ? yeah. sue her. sheâs actually cleaning tonight, running the net through the pool when she hears a familiar voice. her head tilts up, squinting to see through the darkness. â hey, loser, â she replies, affectionately, her face stretching into a smile. â are you bribing me, maxfield ? â she asks, faux offended, eyeing him then the bag. as if on cue, her stomach rumbles and she drops the shtick, reaching out and making a grabbing gesture for the bag through the fence, then goes to unlock it. â ugh, iâm so fucking hungry, i havenât gotten dinner yet, gimme, â she muses, as she lets him in. â donât skinny dip. donât run. and if you crack your head open, i am not cleaning that up. âÂ
âno, no. iâm just telling you what the chicken said.â calvin says, features feigning innocence with doe eyes that flickered despite their darkness. he lets the bag turnover into her hands with much argument before slipping behind the fence to join her. âdid you lose your manners when you got that whistle? youâre welcome.â manners were hardly something he valued, rarely did he ever say please or thank you. but rather did he want her to say it out of his own selfishness. âwhat if iâm packing on a beer gut? itâs not skinny dipping technically. itâs like.. mid-sized dunking.â the man makes his way over to the poolâs ledge and begins to kick off his nonslip shoes. aching feet dip themselves into the water that is surprisingly warm. âeither this water is freshly pissed in or itâs heated, either way i donât mind a bit.â
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ofrockwoodâ:
         luckily for calvin, linkâs thoughts went straight toward this kidâs a fan of the cult classic too?? instead of regarding the other as a theatre nerd, the curly haired boyâs fascination with all things movies & television naturally skewing him away from the fact that broadway existed. which was why he rolled his eyes & brushed his friend off, not denying that heâd used heather chandlerâs famous quote one too many times while being scared from the side or behind. â okayokay, guess weâre not sugarcoating that, â he said in reference to calvinâs suggestion, his line of sight dropping down to the ball in the otherâs hand before he was swiftly looking back up. â yâknow iâd never refuse a beer â âspecially if youâre buying. so ⊠â he shrugged, acting casual. â i promise to be the best non-date youâll have tonight. or if this is a major wingman alert, i can be that too, bud. â
âif you want to sugarcoat it, i guess we could say weâre making love. but only the love is just in the form of cu--â calvinâs eyes grew distracted by a golfer hitting his ball just a few feet away from them, impulsively shooting the man a thumbs up. he didnât know the first thing about sports in general. but golf just seemed like the bottom of the totem pole. âgolfâs so stupid. if on the x-axis you have âsports that get you laidâ and on the y-axis you have âsports that are fun to playâ, golf would be in very bottom left of the grid. all alone. just like all these douchebags whose highlight of their lives is coming here once a week.â calvin explained before replying to what link had actually said. he had a tendency of doing that, especially when it came to their odd dynamic. âyeah, iâll send you in if i want to hook-up with a girl. you stammered and getting all sweaty palmed will definitely get me laid. if you want to come home with me, just ask. you donât need to sabotage my chances with women to do so.â
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luvargasâ:
*
   â THE DUMPSTER IS THAT WAY, calvin, â lu retorts as she places the weights back in their place, convinced the entire ordeal of their breakup was still totally, completely, not at all her fault. â any reason youâre stinking up the room with your neanderthal libido ? âcause if youâre just here to perpetuate your disgusting objectification onto my clients, then you can very much go fuck off. â
âi know where the dumpster is. how could i forget? thatâs where i put the shoe stash you left in my closet.â clavin jokes though his voice conveys sincerity. not growing up. with much, it wasnât like him to mess with someone elseâs possessions. especially not his exâs in a petty rage. âi thought this was just the place for it. after all, isnât this where you swindle testosterone fueled, rich juiceheads away from their wives and into your dungeon in order to swipe their gold cards and keep yourself young with bloodletting leech facials?â calvin longwindedly asks as he steps around her to scoop up a weight. he mocks the men that heâs seen here in the mirror by flexing his muscles as he speaks to lu, peering at her through the looking glass ahead.  âyou call in perpetuating, i call it motivating.â he smirks. âi need a favor.â
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lennon-notlemonâ:
Lennon grasped her chest in full feign of disdain, âOh now Iâm going to cry Calvin. That one. After all these years really was the last straw good going.â she quivered her lip. âYou know I canât believe you even still work here if you hate it so much. Trust me seeing you smug face every summer hasnât been the highlight of my life so how about we just avoid each-other at all cost like weâve been? Deal.â she said firmly. Her blood starting to boil. Lennon was usually so sweet and kind to the staff but something about him just made her want to blow a gasket. Maybe it was his smug face or the cockiness but it just amplified her mood. It wasnât even like there was on incident that set this feud off no enemy origin story to tell. âYes actually your presence about a good 100 miles from me.â she sighed in frustrated. âWow drinking on the job too? God you-â she let out a huffy breath. âMaybe I shouldnât even eat this.â she held up the container. âKnowing you itâs probably poison?âÂ
âi could never be so lucky. youâre still living to speak in that shrill tone after all.â calvin didnât appreciate her sarcasm. sarcasm wasnât meant to be a comedic device and calvin didnât find the redhead to be the least bit amusing. the only time she could elicit a chuckle from him was on the days she would say something drenched in entitlement that heâd chuckle at out of spite. âi have a passion to serve, what can i say? thereâs nothing iâm more proud of than cooking food that gets fed on a silver spoon into your enfranchised mouth.â his words didnât exactly cater to her proposition, more so to her question of what he was still doing here. it wasnât that he wanted to be here by any means but rather it was something easy to do, something mindless. it was easier to be sarcastic about loving the place he worked than openly admit that his dreams had entirely gone to shit. âthe best i can do is feet, mâam.â he bickered back. âi reserve my arsenic for kardashians and politicians. youâre no nearly as special as you think you are.â
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text đ± charlie
char: yk i didn't really notice and i'm not gonna dig in the garbage but given this place, i'd bet on it
char: it'll be late... you can get a cart that late?
cal: leave the dumpster diving for the dishwashers. you know, mine looks for rib bones to suck the marrow off of
cal: i can steal a golf cart at any time of day
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zaraoneilâ:
âDo tally marks instead of names, thereâs a lot of ways around this, Calvin. Donât you listen to murder podcasts?â Everyone had to have a favorite there. Hand reached out to swat at him, âStop it, go outside or something.â Get out of my sight in other words. âWe canât get another complaint.â Itâd been a while since the last noise complaint or what have you, probably since their last party. âWhatâs wrong with a Chelsea? Itâs a cute name- Ugh, Calvin! That makes it sound like I was watching.â Shudder ran down her spine, that was not the kind of reputation she wanted. âWhat? Did you just make cheating sound like a public service? Only you would think that, Calvin, only you. No, Iâm not going to bring anyone home, actually. Iâm not going to give you the chance to poke fun.â
âno, serial killer romanticists are the new crazy cat ladies. like it used to be âpeople suck, the only person i like is my catâ but now since thatâs cheugy, people have graduated to âi can tell you everything about jack the ripper but i canât tell you what i had for breakfast yesterdayâ. itâll be a cringey interest in the years to come.â he explained simple because his cynicism couldnât just let people like things, he had to find something wrong with everything. but in the same way heâs speaking, he puffed. his cigarette with. the mere intent to piss the girl off. âare you gonna tell? itâs just one cigarette. the second hand smoke wonât kill you. not now, anyways. eventually. but at that point, something else will take you in conjunction with the smoke from this butt.â Â
eyebrows flexed at the girl who was disgusted, âwe all know you werenât watching. you may have been listening though. sitting out here with your bowl of cereal pretending not be listening to my morning routine.â calvin teased. it was amusing how easy it was to piss her off but that may have just been her general dislike for him rather than anything he was actually doing. âcheating is a public service. youâre ending already unhappy marriages. youâd be like a seductress robin hood.â
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esmechennâ:
âChoosing abstinence would mean obtaining from sex, and thatâs certainly not what Iâve been doing this week. Just as Rose,â Esme corrected, pointing the end of her celery stick in his direction from her perch on the kitchen counter. Their relationship status was technically non-existent, but that didnât stop Esme from crawling into her bed at night when giving the chance. âCheck back in a week. I might knock you clear out of the running by Friday night, bodies and plumber calls.â
âWhoâs the lucky person, hm? Someone from work? Or wait - a member from the club?â They egged on, arching their eyebrow in his direction. âThat Bachelor party that played 18 holes on Monday was full of 10âs. Please tell me it was one of them.â
"whatâs the objective in having this contest if youâre just going to refuck and reuse? this isnât a recycling effort here. itâs a sexual revolution. youâre not doing your part in helping the greater good of this country club get in tune with their sex life.â calvin ranted as he turned to face the other. hands worked to cap the marker, knowing he let the last dozen of them run dry. maybe his words were a bit misogynic but calvin hardly ever thought before he spoke. âwell if you clog the toilet, you could also fuck the plumber. best get to working on that.â the fridge opened in time with his words and he leaned down and palmed a beer that he promptly cracked and sipped on. âiâd never fuck a club member. weâre supposed to eat the rich not give the capitalist pigs the best dicking of their miserable lives. feel bad for âem though - theyâll never get a proper raunchy fuck.â
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