camilawalkerr

[camilawalkerr]

Camila weaved between the throngs of people that packed the place so tightly it could burst at the seams. Their voices were loud, which only competed with the blaring music which resonated through the entire property thanks to the massive floor speakers on the picnic tables. Teenagers swayed to the music, their bodies pulsating and gyrating as they muttered the lyrics under their breaths and clung to one another. It was already hot, the air thick with humidity a night gemmed with stars. Up and down the beach, people were already lying on towels or playing in the surf. Near the pier, she spotted half a dozen surfers floating on their boards, waiting for the perfect wave. Standing there, long chocolate strands spilling down her back and painted lips, her body was made for sin. The water droplets dripped off her creamy skin, pushing through the crowd in her striped bikini and jean shorts Camila was exasperated. She spots Liam now a little further up he was disheveled, that was for certain, but even in his grief and subsequent intoxication, he flooded Camila’s senses. “Hey,” she says now as the can  hung limply in her grip,”thanks” Cami had held on like she was waiting for another excuse to drink. She moves against him in a smokey haze, pouncing on his back. Liam’s breath husky and heavy in her ears. He’s so close she can smell his cologne. “Yeah, we had a catering order for that stupid Vanderwood party so you know how it is, they just love working me to the bone.Whats on the menu tonight?” She watches him as she chug the beer for a bit, “those two are probably somewhere sucking each others faces off,” she laughs now. Camila’s not drunk, not by a long shot, but she’s buzzed. The night was filled with drinking games, chugging contests, and other events that led to just about everybody’s intoxicated state. A faint sigh surpasses her lips at the sound of Rafe and Austin’s name, it reminded her of a different time one that Camila wasn’t proud of, “Yeah, well after the last accident, let’s hope not. Don't worry i’ll have the bail money ready hun.”

Everyone was slumped over and slightly slurring their words, “dance with me, come on I know you got moves” They stood in a stalemate staring contest for what had to be several minutes. She cracked when he raised a single eyebrow, that classic little sideways smirk coming over his features that somehow always made her knees weak. It was something he perfected when they were younger, probably around their freshman year, and it always managed to get girls to swoon and latch onto every word he said; Liam would never admit that she was one of them. She takes Liam by the hand pulling him into a less crowded space, swaying her hips as chocolate strands stick to her neck. It was the little things, really, that made Camila fall in love. Although she didn’t realize it at the time, love was the only way to describe the never-ending rush of feelings she would get around the man. Being around Liam was like when you fell from a high place in a dream, that feeling of fire in your chest and the emptiness of wanting more. The songs blasting on the speakers get more upbeat and Cami starts to move her hips a little more. She twirls around him now, a harmonic laughter falling from her lips as she downs her drink. “Not yet, I finished applying with Lux last month. Well, the closest place is about 2 hours with the ferry” She shrugs her shoulders back nochantaly, she hadn’t  thought what life would be like without the four of them attached to the hip. “I guess that would be good cause i can come home on the weekends and help my parents out at the Wreck. But we’ll see…”She trails off before running her fingers through his hair, “well you have plenty of time to figure it out there’s no rush you know that.” Camilla couldn’t breath. Her skin was on fire, every single nerve ending ablaze as she became intimately aware of every movement he made. She could feel the way his chest pressed against hers as he breathed, whilst running her fingers through her hair.  Despite the cheap equipment, the effect was almost jarring: time seemed to slow down almost to a crawl as she slips slamming into Liam before falling onto the sand laughing uncontrollably.

Camila worries that she fades to the background. One too many drinks in now, she looks at him thoughtfully. “Why don't we be roommates and we can go together,” she teases. Spending so much of her life as a piece of a perfect set, this life with them is who she truly is.  She hates to be compared, to fall in the shadow of others. Camila writes and reads herself into a frenzy, when particularly insecure- a whirlwind of self hatred and an unquenchable need to do something, anything. It takes the boys a long time to coax her out of this madness, but slowly, when they take the time to point out moments that are so unmistakably Camila, complementing her mind, her genius, she remembers who she is. Liam reminds her in his indirect fucked up way that she is the one he loves, not her family. Thomas and Lux remind her that they chose each other, not out of convenience, but because they are so complimentary. She cries in their arms each time, in the early hours of the morning, covered in ink. How many dances had she attended in high school, and silently yearned to be the one who danced with Liam so intimately before? She swallowed a lump in her throat the size of a rock, and sucked in a deep breath, the alcohol smacking her in the head like a sludge hammer.”Fuck, I haven't had this much fun since we all skinny dipped after midterms.” She muses now, sitting up a little the more novelty of Pogues being in the vicinity seemed to wear off. The Kooks returned to talking whatever Kooks talk about, Thomas and Lux probably somewhere further down. “You owe me twenty bucks, pretty sure Thomas and Lux have to be somewhere macking on each other.” She laughed now as she elbowed him gently. Camila stands up now, careful with her awkward footing as she looks at him.She wraps an arm around him placing a chaste kiss against cheek, “you owe me a piggy back ride  or maybe a match of beer pong?”

keeping the divide //  @camilawalkerr​

Even though the endless chatter and boisterous laughter that filled the air, the crashing waves could be heard as they hit the shore and Liam felt at ease. They were a familiarity in the madness that was the Outer Banks– the madness of his life, and the lives of his friends. Everything was changing, growing, sometimes reverting back to an earlier stage. There was never any doubt that things would change, that his world would be different, but Liam always believed it would be someday, far off into the future– he never thought that it could be around the corner. A chill bloomed within his chest, mind wandering to the days spent earlier in the first weeks of Summer break when everyone talked about plans for senior year, university, and the rest of their lives. Everyone had things planned out, even Thomas. Visions, aspirations, and dreams for their futures. Liam Torres was not someone who thought ahead, and that much was evident by his track record with the local police and the administration at school. There was no thought in his head about where life would take him after graduation or where he would end up, but it’d be a lie to say that he didn’t assume he and his friends would stick together. Pogues were supposed to stick together for life. It was the way of the Outer Banks, and yet Liam couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in his gut. How could they be the ‘core four’ or get up to their usual antics if they were spread out across the country? Liam told himself that these were the only questions plaguing his mind but he knew there was another, one that he refused to let out into the forefront of his mind; what if they all forget about me?

Liam chugged the ‘natural ice’ that he held, ignoring the chill of the beer that was running down his chin and his throat, pooling at the collar of his t-shirt. He crushed the can in his grip and tossed it onto the sand in front of him, promising that he wouldn’t treat the beach the way the kooks did, like trash. The beach was one of the gifts that mother nature gave them and he intended to respect it. The waves that crashed onto the beach, seafoam and all, were a distraction from the thoughts taking up his mind. Another crash of a wave before it was dragged back to sea, where it belonged. If Liam were smarter he’d find the symbolic meaning in it, but his mind was hazy from the beer in his veins and he refused to spend another minute worrying about the future. Pushing himself up from the sand, Liam wandered back to the center of the party, pushing past the sweaty bodies, ignoring the hands that grabbed at his shirt and his limbs, the calls of his name. Any other night he would be puffing his chest out, jutting his chin up towards the sky, with the biggest grin on his face, taking all of cheers and jeers in, but tonight was different. Though he told himself not to think about it anymore, it was inevitable. This was their last summer as a crew; as kids. One day it’ll be their last party on the beaches of the Outer Banks and it sends a sharp pain shooting through his chest. Dunking his hand into the cooler of ice, Liam shifts his focus to finding another can of ‘natural ice’ and ignores the conversations being held around him. None of it matters, he tells himself. Until he smells that familiar scent. Sugary sweet vanilla that seems to linger even after she leaves. A scent that sends his heart racing. Cami steps into his line of sight moments later and Liam swallows down the lump in his throat, taking in the way the light, all of its shades of various yellows and pinks, dance across her skin with every movement she makes. Liam licks his lips then yells out, lifting his hand up in the air to wave at her, “Cami! Over here!” He doesn’t wait for the brunette to walk over, instead he pushes past the few kooks brave enough to show, and pauses in front of her, offering the can in his hand to her. 

Without being asked, Liam cracks open the can for her then hands it back to her. The perks of knowing each other since they were puny kids in middle school had its perks, one being the unspoken exchanges they would have every so often. No matter where they were or what was happening, good or bad, they would share a look or a gesture and know what to do. It’s saved them from harm’s way and a few run-in’s with the police. “Sure took you long enough to get here, huh? Your parents keep you at the restaurant or somethin’?” Liam questions, trying to come across as nonchalant, even turning his gaze from Cami to the sunset behind her, though his eyes flicker back to her without meaning to. Like their exchanges, his eyes somehow always manage to find her in any room. His lighthouse within the storm. “You haven’t missed much. Thomas ran off with Lux somewhere, sayin’ somethin’ about helpin’ her with this thing or whatever, and I’ve just been slamming those bad boys the entire time,” Liam throws a glance over his shoulder then speaks again, “Someone told me that a few more kooks plan to crash the party later. Y’know Rafe, Austin, those toolbags. Y’don’t think they’ll bother you, d’you?” An expression crosses Camila’s face, fleeting, but concerning. “Don’t worry, I won’t let them say anything. I’ll go to jail just for you, babe.” He teased lightly, tossing his arm over her shoulders before leading her in the direction of the coolers. The thought of the kooks, the kookiest of them all, crashing the party had him hesitating before the coolers littered around the bonfire. A few kooks could be handled with the pogues there, but more than a handful would be difficult and end in a brawl that could send more than half of them to jail. Liam told himself that it was worth it, he could handle it with a little more alcohol in his veins, but with a look at Cami, he found himself closing the cooler lid. “I can wait a little while before I get anything else.”

Liam threw his free hand up in the air, waving her off, and murmured that he was fine with where he was at. There was enough alcohol to hold him over until later on, long enough that he could be sure that there wouldn’t be anymore party crashers. Without a cold drink in his hand to pull his focus elsewhere, his mind began wandering off, worries of the future seeping in again. Before he could stop himself, he was blurting out those words, the ones he dreaded because of the possible answers they’d bring, “Have you heard back from any universities? I mean.. have you.. applied anywhere yet?” Liam pulled her in closer, giving her right shoulder a gentle squeeze, “You better not be goin’ anywhere too far away. Who would kick my ass if you went away?” He teased, though there was truth to his words, something else underneath it all too. “My old man has been on my case about applyin’ to places but I dunno, might just stay around here and get a job helpin’ on the pier. I.. I don’t wanna leave the Outer Banks, at least anytime soon.”

[camilawalkerr]

"if i had to do the same again I would.” // "would you laugh at me if I said I care for you?" // "you are a wonderful person. your friendship means a lot to me and you look very beautiful." // “i have an idea, it’s very uncool. it’s not illegal, technically. but it is a dick move.” // "i’m a simple man. i like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.”

"If i had to do the same again I would.”

“So you’re going straight in for the kill, you know the rules.” she said with a strained laugh. It felt like drowning. She couldn’t breathe, but  she didn’t want to. If Liam meant throwing herself into the deepest part of the ocean, God she was going in headfirst. She watched him. The booze clouded her brain and sent ripples of warmth through her body like waves blanketing the sand. She hummed softly, the touch nearly tickling her, as her eyes drifted to the dock. “Liam?” She’s disappointed when he looks away, her fingers subconsciously dancing patterns on his skin, as her stare raised to his features. She felt his eyes on her before they followed his gaze. Camila watched their boat, with it’s chipping paint and fading words, rock softly in the water. Her thoughts were slowed, her judgement altered by the beer in her system, “Kissing you, Liam Torrcs,” Cami whispered and leaned in close to him. She felt his warm breath on her nose. “Would be anything but small nor stupid.” Her voice faded when the right punishment never came to mind. Pieces of his hair fell, tickling the curve of his eyebrow, as Cami swiftly pushes it away. Under the bleak light of the moon, she searched his features. Despite their glassy eyes, she looked sober, serious, about her decision. Cami hummed in agreement as she looked up to Liam. The light from the moon bounced off of the water and perfectly hit his cut features. The mocha in his eyes matched the color of the teddy bear he once won her sitting on her window sill. They were often red underneath, whether from countless sleepless nights he spent staring at his ceiling or the constant joint in his hands that dilated his blood vessels, she didn’t know. “Good, cause I think I wanna do it again.” Cami felt her cheeks flush scarlet and met his eyes. Their noses touched. Everything in her felt warm and electrified. In one second she was prepared and anxious and in the next, all she could think about was how warm Liam’s mouth was pressed against her own. She felt as if there was a raging inferno inside her heart. Cami felt her chest plummet and closed her eyes. “That’s a relief. I was beginning to think this entire thing was one sided.”

"Would you laugh at me if I said I care for you?”

Camila lay on the damp grass of the large field; the sun beating down harshly upon her. It was late afternoon. She moaned in pain as she lay on her side, clutching her knees to her chest with a growl of irritation, she pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes. Cami’s knees bounced up and down from the adrenaline that coursed through her. Tears of frustration rolled down her cheeks, her anger cooled when Liam glanced down at the ground, fiddling with his fingers. She rolled the inside of her lip between her teeth, “Do I gather from your polite lack of response, as I’m bleeding out in a strangers backyard that you’re planning my eulogy?”  Camila responded, and lip, despite her anguish, cracked a smile, however subtle.  This is what Cami was masterful at; supporting the group in spite of their dysfunction. This tempestuous boy whose brain was on fire with knowledge and alcohol and compassion.  When she was a little girl, she wondered if he would not just love her back, but love her how she loved him; wholly, unconditionally, and with purpose. She knew the answer now. “At this point, I’ll take what i can get from you. Can't help but wonder if this Is the last time that I'll see you,” she mused dramatically now, before laughing weakly. He was like the peace that she had always searched for. Her heart pounded in the same way as when she danced, her nerves stood on end like when she was buzzed, her breath hitched like when she stepped into the ocean on a cold day, “I wish I could say something that doesn't sound insane, but I’d never laugh at you Torrcs. I thought it was obvious that we care about each other moron. Now help me up, before I really drop dead.”

"You are a wonderful person. your friendship means a lot to me and you look very beautiful."

The flowers were woven perfectly into a crown that she bore on her soft brown curls, and yet the fairy lights hanging high above were arranged into pretty patterns, the absurd amount of lighting made her head pulse. The people surrounding her wore shining smiles complimented with kind words, and yet they were all liars. She hated it here mostly because the crowding conversations, the same ones her parents made her join, always seemed to completely drown the sounds of the ocean crashing against the sand. Camila never wanted to go to Midsommer for she never found the appeal of heavy jewelry and heels that made her feet ache, and yet here she was staring out at the horizon, that could no longer be seen in the dark of the night, trapped in a conversation she faded from a long time ago. A deep, audible exhale escaped her nose as she tried desperately to put out the fire in her chest. It had grown stronger and harsher by the interaction with the boy. Her shaky hands smoothed the fabric of his suit as if to release the building energy in her body, as she fiddled with his tie. “Please,” she stood straighter, “you flatter me too much. Seriously, do you see how good you look in the suit? Ladies are going to be lining up,” She played with the stray strands of her hair to busy her hands and conceal the shaking of her fingers.Liam Torrcs. Of course. His eyes were bright as always, his lips stretching into an effortlessly pure grin. The freckles adoring his sun kissed skin were pronounced under the fairy lights. The reflection of the shining moon could almost be seen in his rich brown hair. “Hey,” her fingers subconsciously tapped to the beat of the song as a bubble of laughter escaped her. At the melody of her best friend’s laugh, the one true familiarity Camila had always clung to, she began to feel the tightness in her chest fade as if it were a knot being untied, “things aren’t quite as bad when I have you around. You’ll always be my person.” She muses, as she places a chaste kiss against his cheek now. “Come on, one last dance?”

“i have an idea, it’s very uncool. it’s not illegal, technically. but it is a dick move.”

A handful of small, faint scars littered his face; one forming on the peak of his cheek where a gash opened a week prior and a fading bruise still sat. His lips were pursed, jaw tight, as her stare lingered. “This probably isn’t gonna end well, is it?” she asked delicately, her voice fighting against the sounds of the night. A pause fell between the four, inviting either to back out, as they all watched as Camila finished her piece. The quiet doesn’t last forever, unfortunately. She stands for as long as she can in the calm, listening to the routine chirp of birds echoing around her, as makes her last rounds before the customers leave the shop but Barron’s money floats in the back of her mind, insistent, prodding, like a fresh paper cut. Consciously, she glances back towards her friends, where both the money and their newly acquired gun lie inside, safely rolled up in the sleeves of the van. “ Thank you for your confidence, which i will now betray. We’ve already got people looking for Thomas, last week we almost had to bail you out of jail. Now, is not the fucking time for technicalities, before one of you end up dead.” But lately, Camila had taken to staring at Liam’s hands. At the way his sunglasses sat on his face and the way they often didn’t. At his arms and his legs. At the occasional flash of a tan line on his feet. At the way he furrowed his brow and bit his lip and beamed and frowned and laughed and held her hand like he’d never held anything so wonderful before. “ I get that whatever’s in that safe is the answer to all our problems. But people are washing up dead, every week. I can’t afford losing you guys too, so whatever it is… just do it without me.”

"i’m a simple man. i like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.”

They’re sitting on the back porch swing of Thomas’s place, their thighs sticking to the seats like bubblegum from the summertime humidity.  There’s melodies pouring from the radio as she  hums along with the rhythm. Camila hands him his breakfast as she is draped across the seating, smoking a cigarette, and Liam is watching her.  She catches him staring and she feels her cheeks redden into crimson.“Why don’t you take a picture, photographer Liam?  it’ll last longer,” she punches his arm in jest, and  she laughs, they both do, a real laugh that eats away at her throat like a rabbit burrowing out of the earthen soil. They shove each other, sticking out her tongue, and she snickers to herself. He has a way of getting under her skin. Maybe that’s why she bruise so easily.  She’s smiling like she knows something he doesn’t. “Oh, totally. And I don’t like the quiet, that’s why you got invited.” She teases now, everything is quiet around them. A sleeping Lux and Thomas hidden away somewhere,  a winsome silence that wraps around you like a silk ribbon tenderly swaddles around a gift; that holds you together, so you don’t fall apart. It’s impossible to collapse around Liam, but so utterly possible at times, he makes her into a mosaic and thoughtfully pieces her  back together with calloused hands. “today feels like a memory already,”  She whispers more to herself than to him.  Liam smiles and she feels like it’s the first time she's seen his eyes illuminate in a twinkle of bokeh in weeks. The two  of them sit side-by-side, Cami and his fingers intertwined, she’s barely touched her food now. “Eat up, let’s catch some waves have a you and I day, hm?”

[camilawalkerr]

“he aint even that cute." // “ i fucked up.” // "thank you for, you know, taking care of me and everything." // "without evidence, there can be no trial." // "it kind of sucks that i’m super broke and i want to buy you stuff and it’s embarrassing that i can’t."

“He ain’t even that cute."

The room was filled with the sound of their laughter at 3am, “Yes he is! And if you don’t come with me, I’m bringing the dog home alright?” As much as she loved him, as much as she couldn’t imagine herself parted from him, there was something inside her which Camila feared would disappoint him. She’s curled in his arms now, his arm wrapped around her as she smiles warmly, cheek against his bare chest. “Seriously though, I’m buying him first thing in the morning.” She can’t stop the grin that forms as she realizes she’s found what she’s been searching for. This. Being with him. That was what she searched for. She searched for it without knowing it was what she wanted, just as he searched, and never knew Liam was all she would ever want.Like the wings of a butterfly, her eyelids flutter against his chest as she stirs. She sighs contently as her palm makes rhythmic circles around her chest, and she rises to meet his lips. “Your just jealous cause I’ll love someone more then you,” His lips taste of sugar from the deserts they ate before they retreated to her quarters, tea, and home. Her  half naked body is sprawled across him, and they are still in the blissful cloud of euphoria, “kidding. but on a serious note, we should get some sleep alright? I’ve got work and my dads gonna kill me.” She murmurs against his lips now, “come work with me, Margaret called in sick it’ll be a quick hundred bucks.” Liam fell asleep far quicker than she did, for once. She spent those drowsy moments admiring the slope of his cheekbones, long dainty eyelashes, and pale lips, touching each freckle on his face softly. When sleep finally took  her prisoner, she dreamed of him. Camila places one last kiss against his lips as she smiles softly now, “I love you.”

“ I fucked up.”

She hadn’t slept well that night, and in her tossing and turning, found herself wide awake as dawn was beginning to break over the horizon. The soft blue’s of the rising sun were chasing away the blackness of night, and the light filtered through Thomas’s spare bedroom window in a way that was almost comforting – almost. Usually, dawn brought the girl comfort, knowledge that the night had finally ended and the nightmares could cease, but sometimes it was bittersweet; another day to go without sleep, and another night to suffer through.So she got up, finding it utterly useless to try and roll over and sleep now that her mind was awake and buzzing. Rivulets of sweat beading down her neck, as chocolate strands clung to her. Tired feet dragged around her room as she searched for some kind of shirt to put on, but the search ended up being abandoned when she heard the room door open and close. Curiosity hit her first, and then anxiety. Why was he up at this hour, so she abandoned her search for a shirt in nothing but her bikini as she looked at a panic strickenLiam. A bruise began to blossom across his cheek as she shook her head now. “W-What happened? are you alright?” she mutters frantically now as she cups his face whilst inspecting the bruise. Camila  could feel her chest tighten, and her blood roar in her ears the closer she inspected him. “You need ice, and your nose is bleeding - jesus Liam who the fuck did this to you?” Her heart raced wildly in her chest, her palms grew sweaty, the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end and as she turned the corner to rush down the hallway grabbing an icepack as she held her breath. “Sit, now. Tell me what happened okay, and I promise we’ll fix it, alright?” she murmurs quietly as she kneels in front of him now. “I’m here, and you don’t have to worry alright.”

“thank you for, you know, taking care of me and everything.”

Camila had been working as often as possible at her parent’s restaurant. Liam and Lux would sometimes hang around while she worked. Liam had stayed a couple days with Camila and her family after the storm but never one to overstay his welcome, he had left and returned to the only place he had ever really called home, The Chateau. He had crashed there so often that sometime in the last few months even Thomas had referred to his Dad’s bedroom as Liam’s. He had also been driving the Pogue-Mobile, Thomas’s beat up old van. He insisted on picking up Camila on the nights she had to close The Wreck because even though the cops didn’t think they were completely insane they still hadn’t arrested anyone after the string of dead bodies appearing on shore. She moved into the kitchen after clearing the last table and set out some of the leftover food into takeaway containers. She had been routinely giving the assortment to Liam and Thomas to cover all their meals before she had another closing shift and was able to once again restock the freezer at the Chateau. Cami heard the main door open and assumed Liam had showed up early for his dinner. “Hey, I’m in the kitchen. We have a couple of options for your dining pleasure tonight.” She joked. She was organizing a stack of take-home containers when the door from the dining area swung open. “Liam, what are you in the mood for I’ve even got some dessert,” she muses now as her palms rest on her waist running a hand through his hair now. “You look like a mess,” she teased. Her hand brushed against his own, a maddeningly alluring taste of his skin that she had missed on those lonely nights. “You don’t have to thank me, I’ll always take care of you.” Her fingers run  through his hair, offering in her own small way, some sort of grounding comfort. “Don’t go all mushy on me, okay?” she breathes now as her forehead leans against his “come on, the foods getting cold. I love you, so much. Never forget it, alright?”

"Without evidence, there can be no trial."

Camila turned to the sink to wash her hands and saw her face for the first time that evening. The cut that must have come from her face hitting the handle of the cabinet was not currently bleeding but was still bright red. The surrounding cheek was covered in a large purple bruise. She lifted her hand to touch the wound and winced at the pain. She stared at her reflection so long it had started to feel like she was looking at a stranger. But it wasn’t a stranger, it was her own face covered in that deep purple mark. She lifted her head to look at her neck and was able to see a thin red line where  the older man had held the knife. She had felt pain when he pressed the knife in but hadn’t realized it had broken the skin. She moved her hand to her throat to inspect the cut and found it to be more of a scratch then anything, but it still hurt. She let out a shaky breath and looked into her own eyes, she didn’t know when she had started crying but tears now ran down both sides of her face. Another shaky breath turned into an even shakier breath. She couldn’t breathe. For the second time in a few weeks they had been running from the men after Thomas’s compass.She could almost still feel him there, surrounding her. Her breathing had now become panicked rapid breaths and she didn’t know how to stop them. “I don’t fucking care Liam, these people are fucking crazy. They’re not gonna believe a group of stupid kids, don’t you see that? money buys power.” She shouts now, as balled fists curl at her side. “These people can make a case out of nothing, and if you haven’t fucking noticed that by now then your fucked.” She started to mumble something, running her fingers through her hair frantically.  “L-Liam, I’m scared. And they can easily make us look like were insane. I don’t know if i can do this anymore .”

"it kind of sucks that i’m super broke and i want to buy you stuff and it’s embarrassing that i can’t.”

Pogue life is a lot of things; it’s shitty and dirty and oftentimes will knock one so deep into the mud that one can’t get back up (at least not without a stain to show for it) but it is, irrevocably, communal. If one suffers then they all do. The sun is just starting to peek out in the distance, Camila can see its reflection clearly against the water, a golden beam fanning across the Cut, and she knows the island will soon be sizzling under its rays. Besides, the cold is refreshing after her uncomfortable sleep, and for a moment she just stands there, letting the air circulate around her in waves.Liam was the first boy she kissed, too. It was a dare, and it was a horrible, awkward, flimsy and clumsy first kiss, but it was the one Camila had never forgotten. They both got a lot better at kissing since then, but that was the only time she’d ever kissed him.Liam was always there. He was someone she could always like at a safe distance, where lines between flirting and being overly friendly were blurred just enough. She half leans against his back, arms wrapping around his neck from behind, “Shut up, I don’t care about that kinda stuff. As long as I can get moments like these with you,” she trails off before pressing a soft kiss against his neck, “we’re already rich, and don’t shoot me for saying this but we’ve got so much more than those Kooks do. You’re my home, and I love you. And as long as we get to keep doing stupid shit like this, I’ll always feel like the richest girl in the world when I’m with you. Don’t ever sell me that shit, alright?”

[camilawalkerr]