camoufever

[camoufever]

To the busy man that I love, Maybe I can't really have you. Maybe I can't really call you mine. And maybe you'll always belong to your dreams and priorities. -The girl who still loves you with her broken pieces.

[camoufever]

You made me feel so loved. <3

[camoufever]

2 years in a row.

WOW. I am actually blogging after 321712972 years.

February 14, 2015

It feels torture like last year. So let’s see what’s the difference. I do not have a boyfriend last year (2014), I only have a guy best friend that I am in love with and with whom I sort of presume that he likes me back. I was relieved that he has no date (because we were together on Valentines 2013. Yes, only as best friends. Believe me, it was not as romantic as what you think. Lol) and we’re far from each other now (2014) so there was no joke of having a date. But during the night, he asked me if he can go and watch a movie and he mentioned his “crush’s name” and so I broke down into tears. (It was months later that I knew that they were with a group of friends that time. Still, I don’t like it!) That was the start of us not talking for the longest time. (3 weeks).

Now let’s talk about the present. (2015) He is my boyfriend now. And we’re still far from each other since he's studying afar (2 hours away). During the first week of February, he told me that he can not be with me during Valentines’ Day. So I was like, yeah I know. You have school works to finish since we’re both graduating. I sincerely thought that I am totally okay with it. I always remind myself so my heart would also be conditioned not to look for him during that day. The night of February 13, of course, nothing has changed I still know he won’t come the next day. We were chatting by that time and he told me that they have a board review and it sucks ‘cause he won’t be able to do his thesis. Few minutes later, he forwarded me a message saying that their class was cancelled. So what do I expect? Of course he still won’t come because he needs to do his thesis paper! So yeah he apologized. I don’t even want to consider Feb. 14 as something as a big deal. I don’t want us talking about it because it only makes me long for something and I’m really trying my best to fight the feeling. The morning I woke up on Feb. 14, I opened my FB account and saw a lot of sweetums surprises that made me gooey. It makes me wanna stop scrolling. The line “It’s okay not to have a date on Valentines Day…”(just continue with yourselves, I know we’ve all read that quote) doesn’t apply for me because I have a boyfriend and I should have a date supposedly. Right? And then he greeted me with that only one line. No matter how I try to convince myself that he is busy, I can not justify it this time because I know that there could still be other ways for him to make me feel special. Oh, he wanted to call me but I do not want to answer. Am I nuts? Well my reason is that hearing his voice won’t comfort me at that moment. Am I asking for too much? Maybe yes. But not for the friends I talked with because those who believe that he should have done something outnumber those (actually only one) who told me that I should wait because he might make it up to me. Why did you let that day pass? That you made me feel I do not have a boyfriend at all. When you finally noticed my not-so-good mood you apologized and you told me you felt guilty and that you would make it up to me when your schedule is no longer loaded. Maybe now you are thinking that I am overreacting but I would just keep my defense for that to myself for now. So what is the fuss all about?? I am sort of concluding that I will always be his second priority when he is busy and that I am not special. And that he loves me but he is NOT IN LOVE with me. There’s a difference.

[camoufever]

Hindi porke hindi ako nagrereklamo e okay lang ang lahat. Minsan tinitiis ko lang din.

[camoufever]

Please… Just don’t.

[camoufever]

You can't stop him from meeting other girls. He still has his own life to live. All you can do is trust him and his love for you.

[camoufever]

You could have not asked that question. You could have just reassured me.

[camoufever]

Let me speak my heart just for this moment. I actually wished that I have no other girls to think about when it comes to our relationship. But I love you and I have to accept your past even if fate is making the two of you meet AGAIN.

[camoufever]

We many not have fights (yet) with each other. But we have our own struggles to make this relationship last.

[camoufever]

I know this is a long road for the both of us. But as long as we have each other, nothing can stop us from achieving our personal goals.

[camoufever]

And even if we don't talk every minute, my love for you grows stronger.

[camoufever]

If I am to do something stupid (just so I could laugh at it someday as they say), it's something better than good and not worse than bad.

[camoufever]

And then one day, things just got better.

[camoufever]

Runnnnn! It was fun shooting. :)) #marquee #miracleart #3Dartexhibit

[camoufever]

I'm thankful for everyday that you are mine. :)

[camoufever]

Spent my special day with someone special. :) #20

[camoufever]

♪♫ I'm lucky (and blessed) I'm in love with my best friend. ♪♫