canadianapology - Tumblr blog

[canadianapology]

Break time!

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Awwwww

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im what the kids call

sleep deprived

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hillary clinton told a joke at the al smith dinner tonight. it’s a very simple joke. and these two CNN panelists have completely misunderstood it at every turn. it is making me so god damn angry.

[canadianapology]

[canadianapology]

WAKE UP POTTER

WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO

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things ive heard people say in class:

“what if i just straight up break down in class and scare the shit out of ms neo so that she’ll postpone the test?”

“is it too early if i have a breakdown in january?” “its the second week, man.” “i know.” 

“let’s all just collectively skip the national exams, fuck the system!” *aggressive cheering*

in a really choked up voice, “i have rights.”

“what if i become a monk? do monks have to take exams?”

“in this context, what does ‘rapid’ mean?” “FAST AND FURIOUS”

“did y’all do the chem homework?” *collective ‘no’s* “alright, good. nobody be a wimp and do their homework, alright? if we’re fucked, we’re all fucked together.”

“wait, you mean to say that this school still teach fun stuff like music??”

*scandalised gasp* “you stole my circle template’s virginity!” “all i did was hook a finger through one of the holes!” “exactly!” 

“i bought this $2 knee guard just because i want to pretend that i’m injured so that i can sit out of PE.” [slides knee guard on] “i have three consecutive tests after this and lord knows i need all the extra study time that i can get.”

in an increasingly panicked voice, “i can’t just do my lit homework in 30mins!” “well, i did.” “what did you put for characterisation and further analysis?” “i said the protagonist was a fuckboy, and then proceeded to write 3 paragraphs and a conclusion consisting of utter bullshit on why he’s a fuckboy.”

“don’t they call people from Germany, germanese?” said by a top student.

“i think i’m a hermaphrodite.”

“fuck, i hate this. can i just be an escort? or have like 67 sugar daddies?”

in the middle of physics class: “i’m leaving, i’m fucking leaving. i’m going down to the canteen to buy takeouts of 3 fishball noodles. y’all want anything?”

“i want the saddest pepe the frog meme you can find as our class logo.”

“i found a salsa dip in my bag, anyone have some chips?” [a girl sighs, puts down her calculator and reaches into her sports bag] “i do.”

[canadianapology]

The Little Mermaid 1989

[canadianapology]

Rape Escape

Easy and very effective

Requires nothing but your body

Includes attack

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imagine being stuck in a room surrounded by everyone you’ve ever had sex with

[canadianapology]

When they say “The camera adds 10 pounds” they’re not kidding. Here’s the effect with different camera lenses while keeping the subject the same size.

[canadianapology]

If you have something due soon, an assignment you’re supposed to be working on, a test you should be studying for or a deadline at work - this is your sign to go and do it. Get off tumblr and dedicate some time to whatever your task is. Do yourself a favour and prevent future-you from feeling anxious and overwhelmed because you aren’t prepared. Don’t leave it until the last minute and cause yourself unnecessary stress. Stop procrastinating. I believe in you. You can do this.

[canadianapology]

date a girl who’s never gonna give you up

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An example of someone acknowledging their white privilege and using it to help. #Love it!

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“boys will be bo-“

*flies in* 

*punches you in the face*

bOYS WILL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE 

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[canadianapology]