candybrain

[candybrain]

i am a stupid folded up little doggycat

[candybrain]

uh oh! found the bidet! let's get one thing clear: i can wash my asshole all by myself, ok?! houaghgguughhhhh COUGH sputter ghghhooughhhllghh PTEW ghoouuooggfdugsfsgdff

[candybrain]

[candybrain]

[candybrain]

I fucking brushed him btw

[candybrain]

love when person b asks for receipts about the most vile claims about person c and when asked for receipts, person a responds with a declaration of independence like “we the people of (marginalized group) for four score and seven years have heretofore tirelessly produced documentation and written affidavits wherebyto the proof has been enabled for posterity, for those who care to look; i, as the singular representative of the entire group, am simply too exhausted, too drained, too depleted to enact the emotional labor of Google, and if you were genuine in curiosity, you would seek and find, but instead, you torment and question and are literally leading to deaths” and then person b will be like “ok, i found nothing about them being a pedophile though?”

[candybrain]

orgasm are POGGERS

[candybrain]

harmomy :)

[candybrain]

Maybe we should all just sit in a circle and say nice things about each other

New ask game: send me a url, any url, and I will give that person a compliment

[candybrain]

The Animal

[candybrain]

they're putting me on the cover of times magazine and also putting a cup over me and there's even talk of taking me outside

[candybrain]

[candybrain]

i’m so excited for when AI girlfriends start increasing in both quality and affordability. they’re gonna be so sick once we have like cheap portable hologram technology and shit. i will never date another flesh woman ever again and my swag will be unlimited

[candybrain]

The longer blaze posts have been around the lower the quality of posts I get shoved in my face tbh

[candybrain]

Promotional stunt for Basket Case (1982) where this man would wander outside the line for the midnight premiere with buttons in his skin, that you would have to remove if you wanted one.

[candybrain]

huuuh.. hey guys.. today were gonna be streaming [COUGHS TWICE LOUDLY] were gonna be streaming spore hero arena for the [COUGHS ONCE] nintendo ds... uh... chat please slow down [shakily holding glasses up to eyes] i cant read chat when its this fast... huhh... today we are going to be [breathes in] streaming spore... hero arena [breathes out, breathes in] for the... nintendo..... uhhh... what is it again...