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"I want to take the ears off...but I can't!"

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there is still time

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Reasons why Jon Archivist is truly a character of all time:

Had the police called on him several times when he was a young child

Keeps his rib and the ashes of the season one antagonist next to his stationary drawer

Promised he wouldn’t get lost in tunnels and then immediately got lost in aforementioned tunnels

Has no clue what a joke is

Learned how remarkably easy it is to buy an ax in central London

Had to have two separate interventions

Told people his place of employment before traumatising them for life

The first character he ever said ‘I love you’ to is a cat

Allegedly participated in amdram

Watches documentaries and collects some kind of weird shit (my headcanon is Soviet Union postcards) when he’s not being a paranoid mess

Canonically looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks

Knows nothing about library science

Fell head over heels for a man that he hated until he learned he lied on his resumé

Has been referred to as Jesus or Jesus-adjacent at least twice

Asexual icon

Knows what a meme is and said “LOL” in the first episode

Rode on a merry-go-round sometime during his university days because he was in a weird place emotionally

Died for our Jonathan Sins

Is probably a computer now playing minesweeper with his boyfriend and evil 200+ year old boss

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Creepshow (1982)

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jonathan sims top character of all time. his best friend is his ex-girlfriend’s cat. he doesn’t drink coffee. he lies about his age but everyone believes him because he acts like a 60 year old man. the second he’s faced with death he asks his coworker if he’s a ghost. he later falls in love with that coworker. instead of having a beautiful narrative arc about the importance of friendship and surrounding yourself with anchors he had a meat freak rip out his rib. he’s canonically asexual.

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hi i forgot about tumblr

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So are we just not gonna talk about the guy who was Grifter's Bone before Grifter's Bone made it cool??

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In honor of tmagp's digitized spooks I present you with Fear!Clippy

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i can draw literally anything

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butch w a loud carabiner is like a cat wearing a bell

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science fiction was invented so lesbians would have something to talk about with their fathers

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Ash from the evils dead franchise is totally a weird girl

Ash Williams from The Evil Dead Franchise is a weird girl!

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to anyone that says they want to see less gore in horror movies, no. I want to see more gore, I want to see blood and guts, I want to gag in my theater seat! I want half the budget to go to practical effects and buckets and buckets of fake blood!!! MORE GORE IN HORROR!!!!

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