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why can’t hurricane names be culturally diverse

hurricane muhammad

hurricane shaniqua 

hurricane nguyen 

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Help “Why I will never work for State Farm.”

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a zoo of dogs dressed up as other animals

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When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.

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do you ever get nervous because like years ago you thought you looked cute and now you’re like damn i’m so glad i don’t look like that anymore holy fuck!!! and then u think like wow next year i’m gonna think the exact same way about what i look like right now that’s so terrifying! future me is gonna roast the fuck out of present me and i don’t even know why yet

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I literally cant fucking breathe XD

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I'm a #polishedman to raise awareness of the 1 in 5 children who are affected by violence. Visit www.poloshedman.com to help @YGAP provide trauma recovery and trauma prevention to children everywhere.

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THE PUPILS

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knowing all the details about drama but managing to avoid getting involed

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Fun fact, I have a green foil star balloon that I was given at the zoo and it’s still fully inflated without ever being refilled.

Funner fact? I was two years old when I got it, making it a 16 year old balloon.

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when ur parents call u for dinner and u see they made your fav

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The public’s version of couples showering together is so misleading.

Here’s a list of things i’ve ACTUALLY done in the shower with my boyfriend :

• sang and harmonized parts to centuries by fall out boy • reenacted a scene from the grudge and pretended that my hair was suffocating him • dropped baby oil in the shower and both of us ate shit on the shower floor • had a full on debate on whether or not Harry Potter truly belonged gryffindor or slytherin house • accidentally squirted him with soap in his eyes and attempted to make it feel better by spraying him full blast in the face with the shower head

What we haven’t done in the shower: • sex

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I found a pun that works in both English and Spanish

Where do cats go when they die? Purrgatory.

¿De dónde van los gatos cuando mueren? Purgatorio.