caninescreations

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just postin smth real quick for odysstanus so i dont forget i have it <3

telemasoos and odysstanus having a calm night by the fire [before they go and slaughter the rude guests in their home for eating all the food and harassing the staff]

i prommy i have more lyric comics for it i just wanna get the stupid cyclops encounter right and my computer is inaccessibleeeeee

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*throws this at you and runs*

WANTED

Looking for reputable lobotomists so i can actually work on my wips and not get distracted with stuff like this! Someone drill a hole in my skull so i can get some breathing room here! Or a manager!

Anyway i was pulling up my computer and my eye caught the small loz decal and my brain assaulted me with Gravity falls loz crossover because i get NO PEACE around here.

Bills Ganondorf for obvious reasons, holding the triforce of power.

Fiddleford's Princess Zelda, has the tirforce of wisdom.

And Fords Link! He wields the triforce of courage! He's here to be a hero and save the day!

Much like loz botw Ford got discovered early as the wielder of the triforce. He's thrust into lessons, and although he can wield a sword his actual talent comes from the arcane, learning spells. Which would be great! Except the Master sword is a sword, he needs to know how to use it? Whatever, they're in a time of peace, they might not even need the hero! And Prince Fiddleford can't really wield the triforce of wisdom effectively either, they'll learn together as they grow!

Enter Bill, the palaces newest advisor and reincarnation of evil. No one knows he has the triforce of power or plans to overthrow the kingdom with an army of monsters. Prince Fiddleford is suspicious of him but not for any tangible reason he can use to get him kicked out, and his paranoid and fearful nature makes everyone roll their eyes and dismiss his worries. Meanwhile Ford's absolutely charmed by the one adult who doesn't push for Ford to learn how to wield a sword and encourages his scientific curiosity. Bill covers for him so he can go run off in the woods and study creatures, says his swordsmanship is already decent enough, and they get along so well! Bill and the prince are Fords very good friends in the castle and its a time of peace and lifes good!

Then Bill strikes. He's finally, finally gotten to a point in the cycle of reincarnation where he can take out the prince and hero in one swoop. Prince Fiddleford is locked away and the hero is chained in the castle basement, there's no one who can stop Bill now! He's finally spit in the goddesses eyes and won! The ultimate demon king right here!

Except Stan is also still here.

Stan is Fords near identical twin brother, the one that some people wished was the hero except his personality is.. hmm. Their entire life everyone's moaned that maybe Ford inherited the heros spirit but Stan took the hero's skill. He's great with a sword, strong, but not willing to stick his neck out for others and has criminal tendencies he can't hide as well as Ford (and are generally more malicious. Fords mischievous in his own right but likes to appear to be law abiding). They were really close when they were younger but over the years everyone comparing them to each other drove a wedge between them, Ford hating that Stan's the better swordsman and Stan hating that everyone puts him down as the dumb twin who must have stolen Fords talent in the womb. Gets worse as they grew older and Ford finally started bulking up, slowly reaching then surpassing Stan's skill. Now Stan really is the extra twin here, unwanted and unneeded. Fords living it up in the castle and no one even realizes Stan's left to wander around the kingdom and try to find purpose in life as the hero's brother. Can't get a job because people keep going 'oh the hero! no wait, its you :/' and he hates it. Secludes himself in the woods and hangs out with the fairies and gets mopey that no one even tried to look for him (Ford noticed Stan left, but at that point their relationship was so strained he figured Stan was finally off to start his criminal life and drag Fords reputation through the mud. Which he sort of did but mostly on accident).

Bill is only sort of aware Stan exists but has no interest in him as he's not a person of prophecy. Does nothing to stop him when Stan realizes whats happened and goes on an Epic Quest to save the kingdom (which is really an Epic Quest to save Ford and maybe rub it in his face, and the kingdom just so happens to be a byproduct of that). Stan's not the Hero, but through doing the Heros Quest sorta becomes one a la Windwaker. He goes to the temples, gets the different artifacts, and since he and Ford are identical rumors spread that Ford is out there, fighting off Bill and here to save the day!

Which leads to Bill checking up on Ford chained in the basement far too often to make sure he didn't somehow escape the last ten times he checked. Like thats Ford right there, chained up and growling, so who's this other guy slaughtering Bill's demon henchmen and gathering the power to end Bill? Not Stan, that guys not worth anything, so maybe... Fords ghost? Is he astral projecting through sheer rage or something, whats happening here?

Anyway Stan finally gets to the point where he can get through the forest and retrieve the Master Sword except, for all his heroic actions, he's still not the Hero. He can't pull the sword that seals the darkness, he can't use it to save Ford.

Fine. He'll just make a new sword. The.. SUPREME Master Sword (similar to ww phantom hourglass if i remember correctly) . Take that Goddesses! Stan's not gonna quit because a sword doesn't like him or something! New quest time! He's gonna travel to the most obscure cursed and abandoned places and get the rarest mystical materials to take down Bill and finally prove he's more than the spare hero. Now he just needs to find someone to put everything together to make the sword that mega seals the darkness.

Well, Prince Fiddleford is a known inventor and smart guy, Stan was raised with the skinny nerd and watched him bring all kinds of things to life. All Stan has to do is rescue him, shove the materials into his hands, and BAM! New super weapon created and he can go take on Bill and save Ford and everyone will finally start mistaking Ford for him! Hah!

Saves Fiddleford from wherever Bill had him locked up to find the Prince insane from repeatedly wiping his mind because he couldn't handle the Horrors. Alright. Alright! Whatever! Stan can handle this! He's already cleared a million temples and run around the kingdom so much he has every rock memorized! Whats one more epic quest to restore the prince's lost mind!

So he does that, and then there's a heartwarming moment where Fiddleford is finally sane, reaches out to thank Stan, and ruins the moment by calling him Ford. The punch to the face is very deserved, they both agree.

But now Fiddlefords back to himself and cant take all of Stan's pocket stuff and make cooler stuff out of it. Fiddleford agrees, because Stan did save his life and help return his sanity, but spends the whole time asking why Stan doesn't just go and rescue Ford directly so Ford can draw the Master Sword and take down Bill? Thats sorta his whole thing? Stan's stubborn though, and at this point he's spent too long doing all the heavy lifting he's not gonna let Ford steal the show. Stan's gonna save the day and then people will finally see him for himself (and Ford will say thank you, and they'll be brothers, fighting off the remaining demon hoard and doing cool combo moves and it'll be great).

Yada yada, stuff happens, Stan takes his new cool Supreme Master Sword (Its not called that Stanley! Its the Sword that Cuts the Darkness and there's downsides Stanley! Stanley stop running off and ignoring my warnings!(unsure what the swords actual name is here. Maybe the Champions Sword (reference boxer Stan)? The Chosen Sword (have to chose to weld it)? The Ultimate Sword (for ultimate sacrifice)? Who knows.) to the castle to confront Bill and save the day, rescue Ford, be a hero, not the spare!

Except Bill's not there, Ford is, Stan does rescue him, but Ford is not happy to see Stan. He's furious.

Going through the temples is Fords job. Saving the day and being theHhero is the reason he was born, and Stan going around doing it meant Bill was taking his anger out on Ford, rubbing in the fact that maybe they were wrong and Stan was the hero all along, huh! Turns out Fords not the hero, he's the guy who stole the triforce of courage in the womb! He's the spare!

Fords been hearing this on repeat for however long this has been happening. Storms off to do the actual heroes journey as the actual Hero and makes himself even more furious at all the completed temples and the fact he can't find the hidden passages and defeat the monsters because Stan's already done it. Gets his blessings or whatever, stomps over to the Deku tree, pulls the sword, and goes off to find Fiddleford so the two of them can complete the prophecy and save the day. Even angrier when he finds Fiddleford already rescued (Stan really is stealing his life here, and if he's not the hero than who is he? What was this all for?). But Fiddleford is happy to see him at least! His old friend, and together they can-

Ah. Fiddleford wants to go after Stanley. Cool. Cool. WHY!

Turns out Stans Super Mega Master Sword (which existence infuriates Ford further) is made of super rare materials and blessed by the goddesses. Its the Sword that can Cut through the Darkness, and as long as someone has the spirits blessings they can wield it. Good thing Stan got all that when he did all those temples huh? So whats the problem asks Ford?

The problem is that Stan is not a hero or someone protected by fate and reincarnation. He does not have any part of the triforce like WW Link. He's impressed the goddesses and spirits with his tenacity and ability to do what only the hero should do, but is still not the Hero, and if he uses that sword to take down Bill its a literal double edged sword. He'll slay the darkness and take himself out with it. Probably. Fiddlefords a little unsure on the details because he was possessed a little when he made it but something bad will happen for sure.

Well Fords angry at Stan but not so angry he wants his brother to kill himself doing Fords job. Its a rush to track them both down and of course Ford and Fiddleford show up mid battle, both demon king and Stan looking rough but still in it to win.

Only part i'm unsure of is how it'd all end. Does Ford swoop in and deal the final blow? Sealing Bill and then turning to yell at Stan for ignoring warnings and almost killing himself? Does Fiddleford get in the final strike, preventing the brothers fighting from costing them the battle? Does Stan strike Bill down, and either dies with him, gets his mind wiped as the cost for finally defeating evil, become the new vessel for evil (cutting it out of Bill and it latching onto him?), maybe dies and becomes the sword spirit, maybe the price is Stan being unable to wield a sword again, maybe Stan disappears in a flash of light and now Ford has to save him? Endless possibilities, and in the end Stan was never the hero for the right reasons, and he wasn't the Hero but he was the hero who saved the kingdom.

Now i'm kicking this thing out so i can get some actual work done around here.

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*stumbles in through the door covered in blood and collapses to the ground; sheafs of paper fly from my prone body and arrange themselves on the ground in a readable format*

@femalemarauder7 saw your tags and had Thoughts

So, pre-memory gun, he doesn't. He catches them, realizes they're gnomes, and releases them. But, after....

Hm.

After, he probably does almost eat one. But then he realizes the thing in his hands is Not Rat Shaped. He opens his hands enough to look at it, puzzled, and it starts screaming. Full on yelling english words.

He doesn't understand what this tiny human-ish creature is.

He brings it to Ford. It continues to kick and scream.

He holds the strange creature out, head tipped to one side. "What?" He says, giving the creature a little shake.

Ford frowns at the noise it continues to make. "That's a gnome. Noisy one, too. Where'd you find that?"

Stan turns it, getting another look at the strange thing-the gnome. "Gnome." He repeats, turning the word over on his tongue. "In trash. Thought- rat. Catch." He frowns. "Gnome."

"Hmm. That is pretty common for them." Ford agrees.

At this point, the gnome has calmed down, kicking less and no longer screaming.

Stan holds the gnome out towards Ford again. "Food?" He asks.

Ford blinks at him. "Like what do they eat? Well, mostly berries, or-"

"No." Stan interrupts, shaking his head. He holds out the gnome again. "Food?"

Ford's brow furrows, then his eyes widen. "No!" He shouts, voice panicked. "No, gnomes are not food! Do not eat gnomes!"

The gnome starts kicking and screaming again.

Stan frowns. "Oh." He stares at the thrashing yelling thing in his hands. What was he supposed to do with it, then?

Ford rubs his temples. "Please take that back outside. Its giving me a headache."

"Okay." Stan agrees. He goes back the way he came, and drops the gnome to the ground.

It sits there for a moment, dazed.

"Bye." He says, then goes back inside and shuts the door.

The gnomes no longer dig through the shack trashcans.

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Top Ten Moments Before Disaster

And then the reveal:

i was thinking about those drawings of shifter stan eating rats and my brain has gone places. he's definitely been low key doing that the whole time, snacking on whatever little pests find their way into the shack i mean free food is free food!! soos offered to set up mouse traps once and stan dismissed that idea completely (mice taste better fresh!! he'll catch them himself later). soos saw stan eat a rat once but just like. never questioned this or brought it up. so when stan forgets that humans don't normally eat random vermin they find in their house, soos is the only one who isn't surprised bc that was filed away in his brain already as just a thing mr. pines does

Yknow what? Hell Yea. This is real now. Look what you've done, @curi0uscanine

Stan may be a millionaire but he's still a cheapskate. These free vermin are just that- free.

Before he gets mind-wiped, he is definitely more careful about it, though. He checks them for disease, and prepares them in ways that don't net him more strange rumors back in town. This does mean, if you were confused/curious, that there is a thing of ground 'hamburger' in the fridge/freezer labeled "for Stan ONLY" because Soos accidentally ate some instead of the actual hamburger that Stan said he could have.

He only found out because Soos told him that meat "had some real weird flavors, dawg".

Ford eats some soon after returning to their dimension, and does not realize it tastes different from beef. He's too used to weird dimension creatures.

Ford (after Stan is back to himself) buys actual ground beef and is disappointed because it tastes worse than the meat he had before. When he complains about this, Stan just stares at him before it clicks.

"Oh." He realizes. "That wasn't beef. It was rat.(or squirrel. Or something)"

The Stan twins now get to bond over eating things that normal people wouldn't. Yay!

After the wipe Stan just. Forgets that people are gonna think him eating it is weird. So he eats it raw. Unprepared. And just changes his stomach if he starts to feel sick from eating dirty wild animals that probably have diseases.

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i feel like taffy bc ive got fifty fucktilion ideas all pulling on me at once in every direction and if any one of them lets go for even a millisecond im going to snap together with such ferocity that i blast all the other ones back in a concussive blast of creative blowback. like whats my deal here.

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tfw u meet ur spawn's brother and remember where he got his weirdo behavior from

also feat. the drive over

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the many mysterious faces of maurice... and their definitely-not-favorite-spawn stanley

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maurice being a shapeshifter is on the one hand great bc they can look like anyone

but on thhe other hand they suck bc they can look like ANYONE and how am i supposed to decide what their shift is?? HOW CAN I DRAW THEM.

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im going feral, i need to draw but im at woooooooork ):<

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he's doing his best with what he's got.

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little weirdo <3

giggling and kicking my feet while i doodle amnesiac!shapeshifter!stan

like he's not human. who's to say the memory gun would work the same way on him? what kind of instincts does he act on that he couldn't or wouldn't after a lifetime of pretending to be human?

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C'mon, Stanford, you know it's him! It's your brother, Stanley! You can always trust your brother Stanley. Don't you want to be fixed? Atlantis made him happy- it can make you happy too.

Won't you drink the hemlock, Stanford?

im going insane thinking about not-stanley now. like. how fucked up is it to replace yourself with something that's supposed to be better than you. how fucked up is it when the replacement is.

it's a better businessman

it's a better friend

it's a better brother

it's perfect in all the ways a human being can even be perfect- it's never impatient, never angry, never upset... everyone you cared about thinks it's an improvement. it looks so happy, so fulfilled, so much more full of life than the real you ever did

but it's not you. not anymore, if it ever was.

like!! it's not stanley!! it treats stanford with care and consideration, it says the things it knows will make him laugh and will cheer him up. but it's not.

stanley would never try to convince his brother to take atlantis' gift.

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giggling and kicking my feet while i doodle amnesiac!shapeshifter!stan

like he's not human. who's to say the memory gun would work the same way on him? what kind of instincts does he act on that he couldn't or wouldn't after a lifetime of pretending to be human?

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very cute part of @artistredfox's 2nd chapter of their shapeshifter fic,,

i am love him? im love him.

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the door from my brain to the rest of my body may be blocked off by the presence of fifty million things i want to draw/write all trying to escape at once but i CAN get out a single doodle and that's enough for me

dont ask why theyre saying burger, i dont know, i just wanted to play with post-weirdmaggedon shapeshifter!stan from @artistredfox's fic

look at him. not a single thought in there, just copying his brother and happy as a clam.

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im listening to "bones in the ocean" by the longest johns and thinking about perfect!stanley and im shaking him back and forth with my teeth, im fucking rabid