caniskhan

[caniskhan]

Marathon Man: Starting Gun

Hi everyone: Welcome into a Ken Burns-style documentary. An opinionated, repetitive, seemingly never-ending dive into love, relationships, and their much more fun sibling! 

I recommend you read these in the posted order - it’ll make much more sense. This disclaimer doesn’t help anyone who picks it up halfway through, which I’m just now realizing while typing this. Still, it’s here, and I’ll get the unwarranted sense of satisfaction I crave pointing it out to a future commenter (sorry in advance friend).

Okay, let’s do this! 

*romantic music… mixed with circus music*

Every single relationship is different: people are unique. We all offer a different form of love and naturally gravitate towards what we need. In the best relationships, each person knows it well enough to define the qualities their partner brings. They just get each other. They know when to push each other, when to comfort, what to do to show the other they’re appreciated. 

Every single relationship is exactly alike: we’re simply animals. Human beings. 

Most species have their own unique relationships. Take black widows. The male is going to find the female, hop on her web, and fertilize her eggs. Sex burns plenty of calories; she gets hungry. Naturally, she eats him after he serves his purpose. 

Side note: ladies… we inherently understand when you have burned plenty of calories for the day. Maybe through stress or working out, whatever it is. There’s some sort of common ancestry between us and widows - neither of us wants to find out if that impulse still exists in you. So we suck it up, bite the bullet, and only last like 30 seconds sometimes. A selfless act, and I think you ladies really need to acknowledge these kinds of sacrifices guys make for you.

I digress. In people, every relationship boils down to a few things. Working towards a common purpose and how hard you’re willing to fight for each other when adversity hits. We’ve all seen the story: a seemingly great couple has kids. For 18+ years they do great! A model family - mom and dad are amazing parents and raise great kids. Soon after? Divorce, distance in the marriage, whatever it might be. A fracture in the relationship nobody saw coming. Why? Parenting was that common goal. They both were willing to fight through any amount of adversity for their kids.The common goal is now accomplished. Each realizes their next purpose is too different. The fight to maintain the relationship and bridge the gap they didn’t realize was forming over those 18 years isn’t worth the time and effort necessary to close. Life is short. 

I chose the word adversity because it’s a wide-ranging term. It can show up like this: a girl feels her boyfriend is too overbearing. That’s a big issue: leave it unaddressed and she’ll eventually feel smothered and bam she’s out the door and it’s over. Should she communicate that to him? Yep. It’s strictly his issue, right? Well… sort of. He’s the one who needs to change and adjust his behavior for her. Her responsibility? Understanding it stems from protective instincts. His intentions are (most likely) pure. Understanding change doesn’t happen overnight. If he’s making a little progress everyday, he’s fighting for you. It might not be enough. That’s a valid reason to break up. The same overbearing quality to another girl is seen as appropriately protective and cute. The original girl will find a guy with a more relaxed temperament. In most situations the guy is the one who is making the change. Very unfair, but I don’t make the rules.