cannedcoffee

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kitty paws

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Does anyone want to see the presentation I made on what historical fashion trends we should bring back and which should burn in hell I made for a PowerPoint party?

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People used to say “ants in your pants” like it was a bad thing. Where else are we supposed to put them??? Our mouths????

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stepping on something mushy and unidentified

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Imagine, you're in quarantine and you just want to chill a moment, so you watch John Mulaney's stand up. And then you go on instagram to find that John Mulaney fucking SAW you WATCHING HIM.

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Eat healthy. Get a chicken ceaser with the ceaser sauce and chicken only, remove the greens, less bites to eat.

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wow can’t believe jupiter is actually trans <3

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today’s gender of the day is unfortunate time loop accidents

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I could never become a teacher because I’d miss pronounce all of my students names and that’s too embarrassing for me

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meirl

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This is what the aliens will have in their textbooks labels “The End of Earth”

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L I Q U I D S 

★Insp★

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(Source)

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This is the origin story of “Peace was never an option”

Was I a good goose?

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smALL BuT cooL

look at this thing i got at the airport when leaving germany

it’s a giant tic tac box filled with tiny tic tac boxes

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best tumblr glitch of all time