cannotfly

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archived!

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starting to move things over to the new blog! like this post to plot!! whether we've never interacted ( which is my bad for not being present ) or longtime mutuals that haven't gotten to talk in a hot second about our muses or if we need to figure out something new!

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anthony was right in some way, being around people did make her feel a little less lonely. while she hardly spoke to any of them ( nosy people don't deserve their nosy answers ), there is something to seeing other faces. johanna gives thanks to God every day for sending her laura, for sending her riff, a change of scenery is... nice.

❝ you remembered that? ❞ johanna can't stop herself from asking. those magazines are a luxury that anthony always tried to make sure they could afford. she likes the hair. the pictures of the parrots make her miss her childhood birds. the only companions she had for much of her life.

attention shifted to where her daughter was asleep ( those are anthony's eyelashes ), but she soon turned back to riff. before she can berede him for keeping poor little chicks in his pocket, they're in her hands.

and she's completely in love.

little yellow feathers on little wings. the sweetest chirps she's ever heard in her life. heartstrings swell under her chest and johanna can't help but raise them to her cheek. even softer than she could have imagined.

❝ they're perfect, ❞ a low, humble whisper. a bit of protectiveness seeps through, as if she's afraid riff may take them away from her and give them to her daughter. johanna looks back up at him. ❝ are they named? where did you find them? don't ever put them in your pocket again! ❞ but her voice is too full of giddiness. she takes a step closer, daring to bridge to a more intimate distance from each other. ❝ thank you. ❞

@cannotfly (JOHANNA)

He'd gotten his family up early that Sunday. They normally came down from the lighthouse with enough time for her to enter her church nearly the same as everyone else in town.

Today, however, he had made them get up and get there before everyone. He'd dropped Johanna at the church and put her toddler over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, confirming that he had her, and simply pointed back towards the church as he walked off with her daughter.

He'd come back when the service had ended, Laura had fallen asleep in the buggy. "You pointed out that green bird in that magazine a yours. One that talks an' all." he said as he walked with her back towards the buggy.

"Sure as hell couldn't get my hands on that. So these'll have to do." he turned then and pulled two tiny chicks that he'd been hiding in his coat. he had had to get to the farmer before they themselves left for church.

She didn't like gifts or flowers. Maybe the little birds would be good enough. "Beans said she'd want them if they ain't good 'nough." he put his hands in his pockets , half expecting her to give the gift of those two little chickens back to him. "You'd been sayin' you was lonely. can't be lonely with all that peepin'. "

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starting to move things over to the new blog! like this post to plot!! whether we've never interacted ( which is my bad for not being present ) or longtime mutuals that haven't gotten to talk in a hot second about our muses or if we need to figure out something new!

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one of the worst semesters of my life is finally over!!! i'm home for about a week and depending on things, i may move blogs in a few days and start fresh to try to get back into things!

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okay i really do miss this hobby and i cherish all the friendships i've made through it and i would like to return... just something that's keeping me is that i honestly don't like t.umblr culture?? this is nothing new, i've talked about how much i hate fa.ndom culture before. it's not because of a certain person or group or anything, i just don't like it. most of the time, it does not uplift me. i feel like i cannot be myself. in real life, i'm a lot more sarcastic and more sassy which doesn't translate to online spaces and that is something i've accepted! it's not anyone's fault, it's literally just something that doesn't work! and that's okay. though, it is a little hard to put on what feels like a face or a front sometimes. i don't know. i can't seem to find a way to be able to balance writing with my friends without the ickiness i feel when i'm actually on this website.

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ordinary by a.lex w.arren is actually highkey a johanna & anthony song actually

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i'm definitely slipping back into my t.hg phase which is poor timing because well. finals + life is real rough right now.

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i forgot i made lucy's games the second q.uarter quell

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things are kinda bad again. sorry.

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@notelasts's arthur donaldson says, “   the  sight  of  you  will  prove  to  me  i’m  still  alive .   ”

trapped in a pair of too-tight shoes with a little heel, how could anyone feel like anything but a complete and utter fool? young girl at a ball she's perhaps too young to be at. young girl shown off for all to see. the eyes on the white lace decorating her. every guest knows of their friendship, but nobody knows where they're hidden. no one knows their host's ward has tears in her eyes or how she's clutching onto the boy she loves.

tomorrow, she looses him.

❝ i'll do it, ❞ johanna whispers into his chest. ❝ i'll find... i'll find something in this big house and i'll-i'll take it. to them. they'll be some sort of corrupt politician and they won't be able to take you away from me then. ❞ the walls of her bedroom seems to shrink around them. if anyone catches them in here, her guardian will be sure to know about it. johanna can't bring herself to care. there doesn't feel like a safer place to talk to art but here.

what he says makes her shoulders collapse. the rest of her body soon follows. tears are inevitable now. ❝ don't go to europe. ❞ you'll die. ❝ don't leave me. ❞ you'll die. ❝ please. ❞ you can't die.

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moved a couple of asks to my drafts and deleting everything else because it was crowded up in there! and i may try to actually reply to them? crazy!

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kinda really struggling with a lot of things right now and i have no idea how to get back into writing because everything just feels so heavy and i don't have a lot of interest in anything right now but... potentially could we just like talk about our muses? i need a little kick to get me back into things. i think it might help. old dynamics, new dynamics, whatever.

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so so so many thoughts about lucy. i just need to stop being depressed.

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happy birthday miss johanna!!!!