canossa31

[canossa31]

After months of prep, stress, packing, and pushing through some wild storms (literally), Im finally on my way from Detroit to Australia rn.. This marks a whole new chapter for me.. Thank you to everyone whos been riding with me this far even with all the changes in my content. I do have posts scheduled but yeah this is gonna be a daunting thing for me, I love you 💕💕💕

[canossa31]

"Oh you had a plague? Come back to us when you had a World War, brand new unconventional weapons, and a new international order."

[canossa31]

I did it. After a lifetime of using light mode on all my devices, I switched to dark mode. My eyes just can’t take it anymore, and after a few days of using it, I decided dark mode was actually kind of cozy and nice. So it was time to update my light mode art with a new version!

[canossa31]

Source: https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Sauron

dude thats sick. thats rad

[canossa31]

I have been thinking of this Canal+ ad with napoleon in it

[canossa31]

do you think that a certain genre of queer person is so obsessively weird about pride flag discourse becuase their flags fill the gaping hole in their personality where a hogwarts house used to be

[canossa31]

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

[canossa31]

A young man decided it was time to come out to his family. 

He was worried most about his grandmother, so he approached her in the kitchen.

"Grandma, I, uh, have to tell you something."

"Yes, sweety?"

"I, uh, I'm gay."

"Gay?" His heart stopped. "Does that mean you put men's things in your mouth?"

"Grandma!!!!"

"Well??"

Mortified, he muttered sheepishly, "I, uh, yeah?"

Whack! The wooden spoon found its mark. "Don't you EVER," she sternly replied, "complain about my cooking again."

[canossa31]

[canossa31]

[canossa31]

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

[canossa31]

pmd fans are like yeah you should play our game i cried for a week straight when i was 12 and i’ve never recovered

[canossa31]

they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

[canossa31]

[canossa31]

Thinking about when I worked at a shitty restaurant + one night it was just me + 3 other women on closing shift, so some guy came in the back and waved a knife around, presumably for money but I’m not actually certain, bc he was met with the bartender holding a much bigger knife, a tiny teenager wielding a cast iron pan, an elderly woman holding up a crockpot of clearly boiling water, and me, turning on the meat slicer with eye contact for maximum effect. He left, but the moral of the story is not girl power or whatever, it’s just. Why the fuck would you threaten a room full of underpaid and sleep-deprived blue-collar workers surrounded by lethal weapons.

[canossa31]

the nastiest pornographers in the land are drawing your heraldic beast looking doe-eyed and lame in the jaws of my heraldic beast