captain-harpo - Tumblr blog

[captain-harpo]

[captain-harpo]

I don't know if this was obvious to everyone else, but I just realised that one of the reasons why the Hobbit is so effective as a children's book is that while Bilbo is an adult, the skills that make him a hero are all those of a child.

By human standards he's child-sized, which makes him unobtrusive and light on his feet. He can slip by unnoticed where bigger people can't.

He's good at playing games, and even cheats (successfully!) in a way that - let's face it - is not so different to how children try to cheat at games. He's polite in a way that's fully comprehensible to children (rather than, say, being able to perform courtly manners). He's quick-witted, but the trick of keeping the trolls talking is also one that would be achievable for a child.

He doesn't have magic powers, he's not a great fighter, and he's not some kind of Chosen One. There's not much that he does that couldn't be done by a ten-year-old, but the story shows just how valuable all those skills and traits are. It's very empowering.

[captain-harpo]

[captain-harpo]

[captain-harpo]

Customer: YOU FOOL DMV: CONFRONTATIONAL Verdict: DENIED

[captain-harpo]

I feel like you've been so normal lately

I’ve been holding back due to fear of rejection.

Are you saying I should

Let loose?

[captain-harpo]

C'mon don't be losers, instead of doing Watcher subscription giveaways just literally buy esims for Gaza or donate to non-profit charities like Care for Gaza, which actually help affected Palestinians and deliver food and other necessities to them. There's also a bunch for Sudan like the one set up by the ICRC. Don't give $6 just for a man to eat expensive shit on camera when that $6 can do so much for an entire nation of starving people.

[captain-harpo]

tweet to original artist

[captain-harpo]

while you were studying girls i was kissing the blade

[captain-harpo]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

[captain-harpo]

The current state of pop girlies is so funny like

Ariana Grande: getting dragged for homewrecking with the guy who played SpongeBob in the SpongeBob musical

Taylor Swift: dropping her worst album in years about how deeply obsessed she is with Matty Healy

Billie Eilish, for some reason:

[captain-harpo]

[captain-harpo]

queen of the world to me

[captain-harpo]