captain-macaroni

[captain-macaroni]

my favorite part abt this generation is no one is ironing their clothes anymore fjckfncn fuck that! if the wrinkles wanna be there let them

[captain-macaroni]

“how could you be so stupid” well you know what. its really not that hard

[captain-macaroni]

thinking of cock at this difficult time 💔

[captain-macaroni]

favourite pics: shirtless.

[captain-macaroni]

ok guys i finally made it... i'm in the big leagues now. so im hosting a giveaway.

a whole bunch of cigarette butts i picked up off the ground (various brands, the odd long one, some of them got wet but i dried them indoors)

this gorgeous horse print fleece blanket i scammed from society6 by pretending it never arrived so they would give me a refund

so many acorns i also picked up off the ground in a park

100 grams of phenibut i also scammed from online (brand new unopened)

shroom edibles i bought with welfare money because i don't think it's right to scam from small businesses (i ate one of the squares but i snapped it off, i didn't bite it with my teeth.)

antique boar spear i also scammed from someone on ebay (they were asking way too much for it)

rules: must be following me, 18+, north america residents only. reblog to enter, you can reblog as many times as you'd like but you can't reblog it to a side blog or your entry will be disqualified. thanks guys

[captain-macaroni]

i . feel like i . just had a stroke

mark5

[captain-macaroni]

Does anyone else have that one friend whose sleep schedule is like an ever-evolving mystery? One day they’ll appear to be asleep for the entire 16 hours that you’re awake, but the next three they won’t appear to actually sleep at all. Sometimes they appear to be on Australian time, other times their schedule has adjusted to somewhere in the middle of the Pacific ocean. (I call this Cthulhu time.) You go a week without seeing them and you have no idea if they’re just really busy, dead, or if their sleep has simply synced up to the exact hours you’re awake and online. The only indication that they’re still in this mortal coil is vague posts about grocery shopping that pop up on their blogs at 4:12AM. 

[captain-macaroni]

fun fact: this was my senior quote

[captain-macaroni]

new stamp for all my leftists against gamers

[captain-macaroni]

[captain-macaroni]

[captain-macaroni]

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

[captain-macaroni]

i’m so in love with this bath bomb 😍

[captain-macaroni]

Tom Wilson | Post-Game 11.23.2018

[captain-macaroni]

this is the only funny thing on yhe internet

[captain-macaroni]

I love genuinely innocent “boys will be boys.” Just saw a guy come out of a frat house to poke a pair of jeans they’d left outside - they were frozen solid, and as soon as he confirmed that, like twenty more boys came rushing out of the house going “YOOOOOOOOOO”