captainchokchok - Tumblr blog

[captainchokchok]

we are not getting out of the plant blog allegations with this one

[captainchokchok]

post nut clarity does not properly convey the gravity of the pre nut insanity. like truly.

[captainchokchok]

hey. why can i enable subliminal weight loss mantras in bejeweled 3

[captainchokchok]

[captainchokchok]

Are women who read bara fujoshis or is that another thing

[captainchokchok]

New discourse: it's actually predatory to date someone with a different star sign than you, because the differences in your personalities means you'll never be able to have exactly the same life experiences, thus leaving a knowledge and power gap between the two of you which will inevitably lead to an abusive relationship!

also if you're a Sag and you're dating a Taurus, that means you're secretly seeking a May-December relationship, which is age gap coded!

[captainchokchok]

both of my cats have a little orange spot right on their foreheads which is perfect because it provides a bullseye for kissing

[captainchokchok]

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

[captainchokchok]

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

[captainchokchok]

mobile games taught me that women are always freezing in cold houses

[captainchokchok]

everybody do the wenis

[captainchokchok]

Haven’t seen a Ben garrison edit posted in a while

[captainchokchok]

lol nice outfit loser *puts phone up to ear* huh…? what? oh um- okay. anyway 1828 called. they said they found something really really scary in goya’s house

[captainchokchok]

Oh she thinks she’s the plusherrrrr

[captainchokchok]

do you think pushing someone down the stairs is erotic?

god. this is such a difficult question am i under oath

[captainchokchok]

Clint you've got to be fucking kidding me