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captainmoonknight · 21 hours ago

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Don’t Go ✨

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x female reader

Rating: 18+ ONLY, NSFW, MDNI

Warnings: Sex, language, mutual pining, unprotected sex

Word Count: 5.2k

Summary: The morning after the wedding, things are tense between you and Jake. After he tells you he wants you to prove your feelings, you realize you only have one chance to do it before he heads back to San Diego. So you take it.

Author's Note: Sequel to The Bride’s Brother. I had a lot to say with this one so I hope y’all enjoy!!

(Banner photos are from Pinterest)

Your concealer was doing a terrible job this morning.

The dark purple bruises blooming across your collarbone and creeping up your neck were peeking through the makeup you’d been pressing into your skin for the last twenty minutes.

You sighed, tossing your beauty sponge onto the counter. It looked like you’d have to wear a turtleneck to Juli and Michael’s wedding breakfast.

In the middle of June.

The time you spent with Jake the night before was burned into your brain, even without the hickeys as reminders. Once you returned to the reception, it seemed like no one had even realized you were gone - which was ideal. But things were far from okay.

Jake hadn’t given you a second glance after you’d left him in the storage room, and you didn’t blame him. You’d knowingly hurt him. Left him alone after the two of you had come together like it was the most natural thing on earth.

Although a part of you hated to admit it, Jake made you feel different. From the moment you’d caught a glimpse of him washing his mom’s car in their driveway in high school, you’d carried a torch you kept hidden - locked behind walls, disguised as hatred.

You’d never truly hated him. He was annoying and cocky and irritating, yes. But he was never mean. Never ill-intentioned. In fact, the more you thought about it, although he teased you sometimes, there was always a glint in his eye when he was around you.

You marched to your closet, knowing that if you kept thinking about the past, you’d never make it to breakfast. You searched for one of your favorite high-neck tanks, hoping the shirt and your hair would do a good enough job covering the evidence of what you’d been up to the night before. You paired it with basic jeans and sneakers.

Once you were dressed, you checked your phone. You’d tried to call Jake early that morning, and he hadn’t answered. You weren’t surprised, but you also weren’t sure how you were going to face him at breakfast.

Being vulnerable with someone like Jake was difficult, especially after the years you’d spent trying to convince him that nothing ever bothered you.

You took one last glance in the mirror, tugging your hair forward to hide the worst of the marks and smoothing your shirt down your waist like that could help somehow.

It didn’t.

After checking your phone one last time, you shoved it into your bag and slung it over your shoulder before heading out the door. The morning sun was already glaring down at you, the Texas heat suffocating.

Once you’d settled into your car, your phone buzzed. You grabbed it, hoping it was Jake, but it was Juli, making sure you were on your way. You shot back a quick confirmation text before backing out of your driveway and heading into town.

The restaurant Juli had picked was packed, but from your spot in the parking lot, you could see the wedding party, out-of-town guests, and both families enjoying the morning in the courtyard. Juli and Michael looked like they were floating on cloud nine, so lucky in love that you couldn’t help but beam. Then your eyes fell on Jake.

He sat at the table, looking as casual as ever, sipping tea from a glass and smiling at the person next to him. He looked handsome. Relaxed. A stark contrast to the knot tightening in your stomach.

After taking a deep breath, you climbed out of the car and adjusted your collar, pulling your hair forward. You stepped through the greenery-covered arch, and you could tell Jake’s eyes were drawn to you immediately.

His posture didn’t waver. His conversation continued. But his knee began to bounce under the table.

“There you are!” Juli called from her place beside Michael. “We figured you overslept.”

She pulled you into a hug, the space between the two of you holding more than twenty years of friendship, loyalty, and secrets.

“A little bit,” you admitted. “I’m sorry.” You cut your eyes toward Jake again, and Juli’s gaze followed.

“He leaves tomorrow,” Juli murmured. “I wish he’d been able to get more time off, but I’m glad he was here for the wedding.”

“Me too,” you agreed softly. “For you. I’m glad he was here for you. I know how much he means to you.”

You’d probably said that a little too quickly, desperate to make it seem like you weren’t happy to see him. Juli didn’t seem to notice.

“Please, find a seat,” she said, placing a hand on your arm. “Breakfast is about to be served.”

Your best friend turned away from you, no doubt searching for her husband. You scanned the table and realized someone was gesturing to you - maybe Juli’s aunt? There was an open seat next to her… and Jake.

“Right here, sweetie,” she called, patting the seat right next to Jake as you approached.

“Thank you,” you said earnestly as you sank into the seat with your back to Jake.

You were so close to him that your thigh would probably brush his if you turned to your left. His leg was still bouncing, a nervous cadence that made you want to slap a hand onto his thigh to make it stop.

An older man plopped into the seat across from you and Jake, giving both of you a once-over. “Long night, huh?” he asked with a laugh.

You forced a laugh, reaching for the glass of water at your place setting. Jake didn’t say a word. Not a hello. Not even a glance. You weren’t sure what hurt more - his silence, or the fact that you couldn’t blame him for it.

“I called you this morning,” you said under your breath, turning slightly to face him.

Jake took a long sip of his drink before answering. “I know.”

“I want to talk,” you pressed, turning fully toward him now.

Jake kept his gaze trained on his glass, his finger lightly tracing over the condensation. “We could’ve talked last night,” he said simply, pulling his leg away from yours.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I know.”

He finally turned toward you, but just barely. “Don’t worry about it,” he let out a bitter chuckle. “It was a big night. Easy to walk away and pretend it didn’t mean anything. I should’ve known that’s what you’d do.”

You shook your head, trying to mask the hurt from his low blow. “I didn’t mean-”

“Time for breakfast!” Michael called out from the head of the table where he sat with Juli.

You stared at your placemat, barely registering the clatter of plates and silverware as breakfast was served around you. Jake’s hand rested on the table, inches from yours, and your fingers twitched with the urge to reach for him.

You’d never felt this before - the need to be seen by him. Just yesterday, he’d been Juli’s asshole older brother. A thorn in your side. An annoyance you’d have to deal with for the night.

But now?

Now you wanted him to look at you. To say anything.

He’d never treated you like you were invisible. Never gave up an opportunity to get under your skin.

Until today.

**********

Breakfast carried on like nothing had happened.

Laughter rippled down the long table - the exact kind of camaraderie you’d expect after two families joined together in the name of love. Juli stayed glued to Michael’s side, laughing as he whispered something in her ear, talking animatedly about the honeymoon they’d be heading off to tomorrow. Someone across from you made a joke about the DJ’s questionable taste in music, while someone else wished they’d had another piece of the wedding cake.

You laughed along with them, contributed to conversations, shared memories from the day before, but every nerve ending in your body was on edge.

It was like your body was a field of flowers and Jake was the sun, calling to you, drawing you toward him.

Without thinking, you flipped your hair over your shoulder as you reached for the fruit tray on the table in front of you.

You felt him freeze next to you, his eyes dropping to the exposed skin just above your collar.

He had no right to act so surprised when it was his fault you looked like this.

He cleared his throat, reaching for his glass, but the air was charged. There was something there. You felt it. He felt it.

And from across the table, Juli’s eyes narrowed as she watched you fix your hair.

You pushed away from the table, retreating toward the restaurant, looking for the restroom. Juli followed, a knowing look in her eye as she pushed through the door behind you.

You turned to face her. “Juli-”

She held up a hand and took a step toward you, sweeping your hair off your shoulders. Then she hooked a finger into your collar, inspecting the purple marks that littered your collarbone.

Finally, she spoke.

“He means it, you know.”

You blinked at her. “W-what?”

Juli gave a soft smile. “You don’t know how Jake has felt about you all these years?”

You didn’t answer. You didn’t want to admit that the reason you’d overslept this morning was because you tossed and turned all night, overanalyzing every interaction you’ve ever had with Jake.

Juli continued, “I’ve basically just been waiting since, like, high school for one of you to realize you’re soulmates.”

“No,” you retorted with a small smirk. “You’re my soulmate.”

Juli laughed, rolling her eyes. “I guess you have a thing for Seresins, then. I should probably also tell you that I know the two of you hooked up last summer.”

You laughed then, incredulously. “Did Jake tell you?”

Juli shook her head. “No, but I know both of you better than you know yourselves. I could read it like a damn book as soon as Jake came home that night and told me he gave you a ride home.”

You turned toward the mirror, bracing your hands on the counter.

“I hate that we’re in here talking about me during your wedding breakfast,” you admitted.

Juli watched you through the mirror. “It’s no big deal. We’ve been in here for what, fifteen minutes? I just want to know what you’re going to do about this.”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I hurt him.”

“Yeah,” Juli said softly. “But you still have time to make it right.”

She linked her arm through yours as the two of you walked back to the table. The sun had risen higher in the sky, casting a golden light against the cream-colored lace of her dress.

“You got this, babe,” Juli muttered, giving your arm a squeeze as she returned to her spot by Michael. “Choose happiness. Choose yourself, for once in your life.”

Jake was watching both of you from the moment you stepped into the courtyard, and his eyes followed you all the way back to your seat.

You reached for your water, taking a sip as you waited to see what he would do.

He reached for his own glass, and before he took a sip, he turned to you. You mirrored his action.

“If you want to talk,” he said, his voice low, “we can. Just not here.”

You nodded once. “Okay.”

Jake caught your eye again. “Okay.”

The two of you turned back to the table as breakfast came to a close. Juli’s and Michael’s parents both spoke, thanking everyone for coming together to celebrate their children and wishing everyone safe travels home.

You waited by your car as you watched Jake and Juli say goodbye to their extended family. Juli walked by first, pressing a kiss to your cheek. Michael gave you a small wave as they got into their car.

Jake approached next, and you squirmed under his gaze. His hands were in his pockets, his brow slightly furrowed. You had no idea how he could look so calm and collected when emotional warfare was wreaking havoc on your mind.

“Can I come to your place?” he asked. “To talk, I mean. So it’s private.”

“Yeah,” you replied quickly - too quickly. “Do you want to follow me there?”

Jake gave a quiet chuckle, the corner of his mouth tugging upward. “I remember where to go.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line as your cheeks heated. Of course he did. He remembered everything, it seemed — every street, every detail, every version of you.

He always paid attention, even when you’d been convinced he hadn’t.

**********

Jake towering behind you as you unlocked your door had your nerves shot.

You had no idea how this conversation was going to go. Was he angry? Did he come here just to tell you that you were an awful person and that he never wanted to see you again?

You pushed your door open and held it for him, pulling it closed as you stepped inside.

“Do you want anything to drink?” you asked, slipping your shoes off and hanging your bag on a hook by the door.

Jake stood in the middle of your living room, arms crossed over his chest. He’d never been inside your place, but he looked like he belonged here.

“No,” he said, sinking onto the couch.

You followed suit, sitting on the opposite end, watching him.

“You wanted to talk,” Jake said. “So talk.”

You swallowed hard, the weight of the silence between you pressing down on your chest.

“I didn’t mean to leave like that last night,” you said finally. “Things were just… everything happened so fast.”

Jake barked out a short, humorless laugh. “Mmhm. God forbid things feel real.”

You furrowed your brow, turning toward him on the couch. “That’s not fair, Jake. We barely speak anymore, and when we do, we argue. Or call each other names. I’m not-“

You took a deep breath. “I’m not used to things being like this between us.”

“You act like I’m still some dumbass teenager,” Jake retorted. “I’ve changed, and I think you’ve seen it. Even though you don’t want to admit it.”

“I have,” you replied softly.

“I’ve felt something for you since we were in high school. It never felt like the right time for us. Then something changed last summer. I couldn’t get you out of my head. But you walked away, so I didn’t try to pursue anything.” His gaze dropped to his lap. “Last night was… everything.”

“That’s why I walked away. It was too real. Too much,” you said, fidgeting with your necklace.

His eyes followed your movement, jaw clenching. “You act like that’s a bad thing.”

You didn’t speak for a while. Of course it wasn’t a bad thing. Your head was getting in the way of your heart, like it always did.

Jake stood slowly, taking one last glance at you before walking toward the door.

You scrambled to your feet. “Jake, where are you going?”

He paused but didn’t turn around. “I thought this would be different. I guess I thought last night meant more to you than it does…”

“It meant so much to me!” you exclaimed.

“Really?” Jake turned to face you. “Then why does it feel like I’m the only one who wants this?”

You sighed, closing the space between you and taking his hand. You squeezed your eyes shut.

“I have a hard time being vulnerable with you. You’ve got this larger-than-life personality, you light up every room you walk into. It’s honestly intimidating…” You chuckled softly before opening your eyes to look at him.

He wasn’t smiling, ust watching you intently.

“I’ve always been a little bit afraid that I wouldn’t be enough for you. Especially with the distance. It terrified me, Jake. So instead, I pretended to hate you. Pretended like I didn’t think about you all the time.”

His jaw flexed, his eyes dropping to your hand still gripping his.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about that night last summer. Hell, I tossed and turned all night last night thinking about you,” you admitted. “I called you first thing this morning because I just needed to know I hadn’t ruined everything before it even really started.”

Jake reached up, sweeping your hair back from your shoulder, his eyes tracing the curve of your collarbone. His thumb gently brushed over the marks he’d left the night before, and he cupped your chin.

“You’ve always been enough,” he murmured.

Your breath caught in your throat. For a long moment, neither of you moved. You wanted nothing more than to hear him say it again, to have him close the distance and hold you close.

But then Jake’s hand slipped from yours and he took a step back.

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning,” he said simply.

“I know,” you whispered.

“I needed to hear all of this. Needed to know how you truly feel. But I can’t be the only one fighting for this, not again.” He stood firmly in place, watching you.

You nodded.

“If you want this, I need you to prove it.” Jake reached for the door, twisting the knob. “I’m not mad. But I’m not going to guess where I stand with you anymore. Take care.”

With that, he walked out and shut the door behind him.

You waited, hoping maybe he’d turn back around, walk back through the front door and kiss you with everything he had. But time passed like it was nothing, and you were still alone.

“Prove it,” you whispered, already unlocking your phone.

Is Jake staying at your mom’s? you typed to Juli.

Nope. He’s at a hotel in town.

A screenshot followed with the name and address. You didn’t hesitate.

You had one shot and you had to make it count.

**********

An hour later, you stood in front of your mirror in the same dress you’d worn on your date that night last summer. Your hair was longer, and the dress hugged your body a little tighter than you remembered,but you hoped he’d like it, just as he had when he was taking it off you in his truck.

His hotel was actually very close to the restaurant from that morning, you’d discovered on the drive into town - a cute little inn with fairy lights at the entrance and vines twisting around the patio. You double checked Juli’s screenshot before making your way to his room, your heart pounding in your chest.

When you reached his door, you hesitated for a moment. It was time to be honest, time to stop hiding your feelings. If it didn’t work out, fine. But Jake deserved to know the truth.

Finally, you knocked.

The door opened a few moments later. Jake stood in front of you, looking comfortable in a simple white tee and gray sweats. You couldn’t help but notice how his eyes raked over your body, hopefully recalling the last time he’d seen you in this dress.

“Hi, Jake,” you said softly.

He didn’t speak, just held the door open wider so you could walk through. His room was cozy, and you noticed his suitcase sitting open by the bed, his clothes folded neatly inside.

You turned to him, speaking quickly. “I don’t expect you to say anything. I know you’ve already been really honest, and you deserve the same from me. I want to be with you, Jake. I’ve wanted to be with you for a long time. You know exactly how to get under my skin and, surprisingly, I love that about you. You remember my favorite ice cream, the way I take my coffee… simple things that come from a lifetime of being seen. I think I had myself convinced that I was just another shadow to you - always glued to Juli’s side, just barely on your radar. I never thought you actually wanted me that close… until now.”

Jake crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at you, but you kept going.

“God, Jake, I hope you know how crazy you make me. How much that night in your truck scared the hell out of me. I’d never been with anyone who made me feel that safe… that sacred. I felt like… I felt like you were made for me. And so I pushed you away, because I couldn’t handle the rejection if you didn’t feel the same. Apparently, I couldn’t handle you actually wanting me either. We’ve lost a lot of time because of me. I don’t want to lose any more. I don’t want you to leave tomorrow thinking I don’t want to be with you. You’re the whole package, Jake. You’re funny, genuine, sincere… sexy as hell.”

You let out a nervous laugh, quick and a little breathless.

“Yes, I’m still scared. Yes, I have no idea how I’ll handle long distance or being a military girlfriend. But I want to try, Jake. I want-”

“You wore that dress on purpose,” he interrupted, his voice low.

“What?” you blinked, caught off guard.

He stepped closer, a slow grin spreading across his face. “You knew exactly what you were doing.”

Your breath caught just as his hands found your waist, fingers curling into the fabric of your dress. He pulled you toward him gently, like he’d been waiting for this exact moment since you first knocked on his door.

Then his mouth was on yours.

You gasped, and he slipped his tongue between your lips, drawing out sounds you’d normally be embarrassed to make. He sighed, pressing his body flush against yours, kissing you with the kind of desperation you’d only dreamt about.

One of his hands slid up your back, curling around the back of your neck.

“You don’t have to be scared with me,” he murmured.

You nodded. “I know.”

You kissed him again, gripping his shirt with all your might. “Oh, Jake…”

He groaned, pressing a kiss to your jaw. “Damn, baby, who marked you up?”

You rolled your eyes, and he gripped your hips.

“God, I love when you roll your eyes at me,” he said, placing an open mouthed kiss on your collarbone as he walked you backward until your knees hit the bed.

You hit the mattress with a soft bounce, Jake following without hesitation, one knee wedged between your legs as he braced himself above you. His mouth found yours again, slower this time, more deliberate, deeper. Like he had all the time in the world and wanted to savor every second.

“You drive me absolutely crazy,” he whispered against your lips. “Always have.”

Your hands slipped beneath the hem of his shirt, fingers tracing the skin just above his waistband. He inhaled sharply, his muscles tensing beneath your touch.

He leaned in, trailing kisses down your neck, across the bruises he’d left. “I shouldn’t like seeing these so much,” he murmured. “But I do. I really do.”

You couldn’t help the shiver that rolled through you. “You’re an asshole.”

Jake chuckled and nipped at your collarbone. “And you still showed up in this dress.”

You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him flush against you. “I wanted you to remember.”

“Oh, baby,” he said gruffly, “like I could ever forget.”

His mouth enveloped yours again as his hips rolled into you. You could feel his hard length straining against the soft fabric of his sweatpants, and when your hand slid down to grip him, he jerked in surprise.

“Jesus,” he groaned, bucking into your touch. “No, baby - wait. I want to taste you.”

“Can you get naked first?” you teased, smirking as you tugged at the hem of his shirt.

Jake huffed a laugh, but the way he looked down at you made your pulse quicken. It was soft, hungry, maybe even a little needy. He grabbed the back of his collar and yanked his shirt off in one smooth motion.

Your mouth went dry at the sight of sun-kissed skin, sculpted lines, and those arms. Fuck. You bit your lip, eyes raking over every inch of him.

He smirked, catching your look. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Don’t tempt me,” you murmured, fingers dipping beneath the waistband of his sweats. You dragged them down his hips slowly, your lips ghosting over the newly exposed skin. His breath hitched in his throat as he watched you, head tipping back.

“Okay, o-okay,” he gasped, kicking the fabric away. “You next.”

You stood slowly, practically chest to chest with Jake. You reached for the zipper running down the side of your dress, your fingers shaking slightly with anticipation. You tugged it down, then slid the straps off your shoulders, one at a time, letting the dress fall from your hips and pool on the floor.

Jake’s chest was heaving, his eyes dropping from your face to your body. You weren’t wearing a bra - only panties, and your nipples were already hard, practically begging for attention.

“So beautiful,” he murmured, slipping his hands around your waist and pulling your body against his.

He leaned in, his lips brushing lightly against your collarbone, then your chest. He pressed kisses as he went, until he wrapped his lips around your nipple. He flicked his tongue before teasing you with his teeth, and you arched into him.

“Fuck…” you gasped, running your fingers through his hair.

He reached up and pinched your other nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. “One day you’ll understand how long I’ve wanted you like this. Naked, in my bed, just for me… Wanna taste you. Please.”

He backed you toward the bed again. “Lie back, baby. Let me take care of you.”

You settled into the plush pillows, spreading yourself for him. He wrapped his hands around your legs, pressing hot, wet kisses down your thighs as he made his way to your soaking center.

He looked up at you as he hooked his fingers in your panties, dragging them down slowly. When they slipped past your ankles, he tossed them aside, then knelt between your legs like it was the only place he ever wanted to be.

“Look at you,” he murmured, spreading your thighs wider. “This pussy’s so needy for me…”

You whimpered as his breath ghosted over you, your hips arching.

Jake leaned in and dragged his tongue through your folds in one slow stroke. Your hand flew to the back of his head, your fingers tangling in his hair as he groaned into you.

Every flick of his tongue, every swirl around your clit, sent shivers down your spine. His eyes caught yours again as he sucked on your clit, teasing your entrance with his fingers.

You squirmed beneath him. “Jake…” you whined, your thighs tensing.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured against you, voice low.

When he slipped two fingers inside you, you couldn’t help but cry out. It was like he’d memorized every inch of you, every spot that drove you over the edge.

“Let me feel it, baby,” he whispered as he curled his fingers. “Come for me.”

The feeling of his mouth and fingers working in tandem had your heart racing. Your thighs trembled, your breath caught, and it felt like something inside you snapped.

“Jake!” you cried, but he only buried his tongue deeper inside you. He crossed his arms over your hips, holding you down as he guided you through your orgasm.

“Holy shit,” you breathed as Jake kissed your heated skin. He dragged his tongue up your stomach, licked at each nipple, then pressed his lips to yours. You groaned as you tasted yourself on his tongue, digging your nails into his taut shoulders.

“I need you inside me,” you whispered. “Now.”

“Mm,” Jake moaned against your neck. “How bad?”

“So bad,” you whimpered, sliding your hand between your bodies to stroke him.

He inhaled sharply. “Fuck, baby.”

His hand joined yours, and he lined himself up - not even taking a moment to tease before pushing himself inside you. Your mouth fell open, and you gasped as he stretched you.

“Look at me,” he moaned softly, pumping in and out of you slowly.

You took his hand and pulled him down so that his body was flush against yours.

“Wanna be close to you,” was all you said.

Jake nodded, slipping his hands under your back. His hips rocked into you, and you wrapped your legs around him, letting him slide deeper.

“I’ve thought about this,” he murmured, his breath ragged. “Spent so many nights wishing you were mine.”

You took his face in your hands. “I am,” you whispered. “I’m yours, Jake Seresin.”

He kissed you then, but it wasn’t the same heated, desperate kiss you’d shared before. This was soft, heavy with desire and longing. His cock dragged inside you just right, and you could feel another orgasm building low in your belly.

“I love the way we fit together,” you said, chest heaving. “Love the way you touch me… the way you make me feel.”

“Yeah?” Jake asked breathlessly.

You nodded, your hands roaming his back. You could feel every muscle stretching, every heaving breath, as he pumped into you.

“I’m so close,” he whined. “You feel so good.”

He buried his face in your neck as his hips bucked up, his breathing ragged. It felt so right, having him this close, this deep. He was going to destroy you in the best way.

“Don’t hold back. I want it. I want you,” you moaned, tightening your legs around him.

He kissed you hard, driving into you with urgency. Your second orgasm came fast, and you arched into him, saying his name like a prayer against his lips. You didn’t even have time to come down from your high before he was gripping your hips so tightly you were sure he’d leave fingerprints.

“God, baby - fuck!” he cried, sheathing himself fully inside you as he came, his whole body shaking.

The two of you stayed connected, your hearts pounding in sync. He caught your gaze, and you smiled at how completely wrecked he looked. You were sure you looked the same.

He slowly lowered himself onto the bed beside you, and you reached for his hand. He took it and lifted it to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss to your palm.

The room was quiet other than the sound of your breathing and the low hum of the A/C. Jake traced gently circles on the back of your hand, his skin sticky with sweat.

“Please don’t go,” he said finally, turning his head to look at you.

You rolled onto your stomach, right against his side.

You weren’t sure what tomorrow would look like. Hell, you weren’t even sure what the next few hours would bring. But in that moment, with his hand in yours, his breath warm against your skin, you knew you were exactly where you were supposed to be.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

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captainmoonknight · 3 days ago

Text

kinda might, sorta like, love you a little bit (hangman x reader)

Pairing: hangman x fem!reader (no y/n)

Synopsis: hangman's fwb convinces him to try something new

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, swearing, sex, choking kink, some asphyxiation, breathplay, slight slight slight degradation (mostly condescension, but if that's a no for you, maybe this isn't the one)

Length: 4.5k

title from yet another tanner adell song bb.

for @fuckyeahhangman , also welcome to my baby tag list @peakyrogers @winterrebel04@callsign-valley 💙

It wasn’t often that you saw an expression of absolute shock on Hangman’s face, his pretty jaw slack and his eyes wide, blinking owlishly at you, uncertain if he’d heard you correctly when you told him you wanted him to choke you.

You were out on the tarmac, running post-op inspections on your planes, and, like always, you and the golden boy were the last ones out. You hadn’t meant to say anything, but you’d come over to his F-18 after your inspection was done, to find Jake half-out of his flight suit and up to his elbows in grease, and the sight had ripped a confession out of you.

Jake processed your words slowly, setting down the wrench he’d had in his hands, bracing himself on his bent knees to stand up.

Fuck, his hands.

He had broad palms and long fingers that looked entirely too good wrapped around a yoke.

You knew what else they’d look good around.

But no one expected that of you.

You were the sweet one, the pilot who wore tinted chapstick and baked when she got stressed, so everyone thought they had you figured out. Just because you weren’t intense like Phoenix or Halo, everyone thought you were just the sweetest thing.

And you could be.

You could also be…more.

Jake’s expression cleared as he walked over to you, curiosity replacing the surprise in his eyes, as he got closer to you.

“Did I hear that right, sweetheart?” he asked, and your stomach flipped at the intensity in his expression.

You lifted your chin stubbornly as Jake got closer to you, holding his gaze and not saying anything else. Jake licked his lips, the motion bringing your eyes down to his mouth, as he smiled slightly, leaning towards you.

“You want me,” he whispered, his breath warm on the outside of your ear, “to choke you?”

All told, you were really proud of yourself for not melting into a puddle on the tarmac when he repeated your words back to you in his low drawl.

“Yes please,” you breathed, relieved beyond measure that no one else was around to see you go weak in the knees at six words from Hangman.

Jake hummed, a sound so deep in his chest it almost sounded like a purr. He pulled back to look at you, his fair eyes squinting in the afternoon sunlight. “And you thought you’d just tell me, in broad daylight, when I can’t do a damn thing about it?”

In your defense, you hadn’t meant to tell him.

Then you’d spent the afternoon listening to him bark instructions to the rest of the team in the air, and come by his F-18 to find him with his messy hair, wrestling with the landing gear with hand tools, and it had slipped out of you.

But he didn’t know that, so you smiled, lifting a shoulder casually. “Just wanted you to know,” you told him, unaffectedly.

Jake knew it was bullshit, his eyes narrowing even as his own smile deepened.

“I’ll see you after dinner,” he backed away from you, turning towards his aircraft and muttering over his shoulder, “otherwise I’ll do something that’ll get us both court martialed.”

A shiver went through you at his words, but he was right—this wasn’t the time or place for considering the ramifications of what he’d asked you.

Later, you pulled the sleeves of your sweatshirt down to stop yourself from biting your nails as you sat perched on the side of your bunk, looking between your watch, your phone, and the clock over the door. Dinner had come and gone and it felt like hours ago, and doubt was eating away at you.

What you had with Jake was good—very good.

No strings, no complications, no complaints. He treated you like something fiercely desirable, and it had been good…but you’d been on drills with him as team lead.

You knew how intense Hangman could be.

You knew how Jake sounded when he wanted something, you knew how he went after something in the sky with zero thought for anyone that couldn’t keep up. And you always heard that roughness when you started, but somewhere between working you two up and collapsing after the fact, he reined himself back to something gentle.

You were so tired of gentle.

But maybe he wasn’t being gentle, maybe he wasn’t holding back on you; it wasn’t what he wanted from your arrangement.

Maybe he wasn’t here yet because he wasn’t sure, maybe he was trying to figure out a way to gently—

The door handle turned, and you looked up sharply as Jake let himself into your room, shutting the door behind him. He leaned back against the door, and you heard the snick of the lock as he flicked it behind him. He’d showered since dinner, and his hair was still damp, the edges falling to just above where a worn sweatshirt hung loosely across his shoulders.

He had great shoulders.

It was a weird thing to notice in a man, but on Jake it wasn’t just that he spent a ton of time at the gym, it was how he carried himself. Proud and confident, cocky enough to be annoying, if he wasn’t good enough to back it up.

He tilted his head back against the door, looking at you, his eyes glittering in the low light.

You waited for him to say something, but he just looked at you, over the Eagles tank you’d cut the sleeves off of, your pajama shorts riding up on your thighs, crossed over each other as you sat primly on the bunk.

You licked your lips nervously, and Jake swore under his breath, rubbing his hand over his jaw, his eyes darting down to your tongue.

“If you don’t want to, you should tell me,” you blurted, and Jake’s eyes snapped back up to you.

“Don’t want to-–” he parrotted, breaking off on a short laugh. “Baby, there’s precious little I don’t want to do to you.”

His words settled over you, his rough tone exactly what had sparked all this.

“Okay,” you said, standing up slowly.

Jake’s eyes raked down your body but he stayed by the door. He sighed, exasperated, and you crossed the room as you waited for him to tell you what was going through his mind. He crossed his arms, frowning down at them.

“I don’t want to accidentally hurt you,” he admitted.

You blinked. You were moments away from making a joke about whether or not Jake knew his own strength, but he wasn’t meeting your eyes, which settled heavily over you.

Was this something deeper?

“Jake…” you started, and he looked back at you, lifting his chin defiantly. In his eyes, you saw a guardedness that you hated, that you wanted to chase away.

“Hey,” you said, pretty stubborn yourself, “I trust you.”

Jake’s jaw clenched, and you knew the only thing keeping his eyes locked on yours was the determination to not be the one who looked away first.

“I trust you,” you repeated.

He sighed, a long, drawn out sound. He didn’t look convinced, but you figured that was a longer conversation than you were equipped for. You reached for him, your fingers trailing down his forearm to one of his hands, fingers loose in front of him.

“I trust you,” you said again, and you lifted his huge hand to your neck.

Jake swallowed, eyes looking between yours, then at his hand against your throat. He drew in a long breath, adjusting to the prospect and letting you settle into it as well, and a part of you relaxed when you saw him do the same.

Fuck, just having him here was better than you’d expected.

His fingers were broad and warm, and they spanned across your neck, covering so much more of you than you’d anticipated. His strong fingers, hands that kept a fifteen-ton machine in the sky, just over your windpipe—it was overwhelming to think about, and he hadn’t even pressed down.

Jake’s thumb traced up the side of your throat, and you knew he could feel your pulse, as it rapidly quickened.

“Baby…” he started, concern and hunger warring in his eyes.

You tilted your head back, pushing your throat further into his hand.

“Try me, Hangman,” you whispered.

His jaw clenched, then released, and then his fingers curled slightly around your throat. He wasn’t squeezing, wasn’t anywhere close to cutting off your airflow, it was just a tightening of his thumb, and a pressure from his other fingers. Still, you couldn’t stop your eyes from fluttering closed, at the promise and potential from that simple touch.

Jake let out a slow breath, and when you opened your eyes to look at him, his chin jerked to the side. The concern was gone from his expression, replaced by soft awe as he looked down at you.

“Shit, sweetheart,” he muttered. “You really want this, huh?”

And there were a couple of ways you could answer him.

You could tell him yes, plead for him to keep going. You could lean further into his touch, pull him closer, ask for more.

Or…

You reached for Jake’s other hand, the one not around your throat. You meant for the movement to have finesse, but as soon as your joined hands brushed the bottom of your tank, Jake knew where you were going with this. His eyes darkened as you set his hand inside of your pajama shorts, and he followed through on your unspoken instruction. Jake hummed quietly, curious, his eyes following his hand as it traveled between the thin fabric and your body, reaching towards the apex of your thighs.

“Sweet thing,” Jake breathed. “No underwear tonight?”

You shook your head, steadying yourself on his chest as his hand moved over you, the backs of his knuckles brushing over your skin as he deliberately lingered. He turned his wrist and his fingers pulled over your center, causing you to shudder.

Jake inhaled sharply, his lips parting as he looked back at you.

“Baby, how long have you been this wet?”

He pressed a thick finger through your folds, and your eyes fell closed as he pulled it back towards him. You knew you were unsteady on your feet, but you knew that Jake needed to feel how badly you wanted this, wanted it with him.

“Baby,” Jake said again, and you looked up at him, so close to you, his pretty face stern and focused. You wet your lips, looking back at him, and waited.

His eyes narrowed, and then he pressed harder with the hand at your throat. Your knees actually buckled, and Jakes clicked his tongue, shaking his head.

“I’m not even squeezing that hard, baby,” he said, a hint of condescension in his tone that had your skin heating. “Use your words, come on.”

Fuck, this was what you wanted.

For Jake to lean into the power he had over you, to control your pleasure, to command it out of you.

“Since I saw you on the tarmac,” you whispered, voice raspy, and Jake’s hand on your throat loosened, his thumb running up the side of your neck, soothing.

“See, that wasn’t so difficult,” he murmured, and your hips jerked forward when his hand worked over your core again. Jake added another finger to the pull, rubbing lightly over your clit before dipping back between your legs. You whimpered when he pressed his middle finger into your entrance, a slow intrusion that had you clutching at his forearm.

“Fuck, baby, you’re practically dripping,” Jake said quietly, his voice tight. “Pulling me in like a damn vice.”

His fingers felt so good, working over and in you, and his voice was always the perfect addition. You widened your legs, wanting more of his touch, and Jake chuckled, a low and pleased sound.

“On the bed, baby,” he said, his voice low. “I want to see you.”

His thumb brushed your neck again and then he let go of you carefully, pulling his hand out of your shorts. You would’ve protested, but he immediately set to peeling off his sweatshirt and pushing down his pants, and your mouth felt dry at the sight of him. You scrambled to comply, pulling your tank off and kicking the shorts down, before falling back to the bed.

You landed on the edge of it and a moment later Jake was on top of you, every inch of his hard body pressed into yours. He was warm and so close, perfect, and his hands grazed up your body to hold your wrists tightly, before he kissed you, hard.

His mouth moved over yours hungrily, and your lips parted for him, a moan slipping out of you at the first sweep of his tongue. You relaxed under him, moving your hands to check his hold on your wrists, but finding them secure. Jake’s grip tightened when he felt your wrists flex, and his hips ground into you, slow.

The drag of him, heavy and hot and so close, was perfect, and your moan was muffled against Jake’s mouth. He lifted slightly to turn your head with his nose, nuzzling into your neck to kiss you sloppily as he ground himself over you again.

“Jake,” you cried, unable to process how good it was, how quickly.

“That’s how I feel, baby,” Jake said, his voice sounding almost angry. “You look so fucking good, and then knowing what it is that got you this messy for me, fuck–”

He broke off, his hips driving into you again, and your head tipped back against the mattress. You could feel your arousal dripping between your thighs, and the thought that Jake might feel a fraction of as frantic as you did, was overwhelming.

Jake pushed away from you, leaning off the bed, to reach back for his discarded sweatpants. He fished a condom out of one of the pockets, rising up on his knees to roll it over his length, and you pushed down the irrational disappointment that rose up inside of you.

It was good to be safe, especially when you guys weren’t anything.

Still.

The additional layer, so early on, seemed like a harsh reminder of just how transient this thing between you was.

“Ah, sweetheart, don’t make that face.”

At Jake’s words, you quickly schooled your expression, looking back up to meet his eyes, and smiling automatically.

“Gone,” you told him flippantly, but Jake looked at you for a long moment.

He wasn’t careful, nothing so precious, but he held your eyes until the last moment when he leaned down to kiss you again. Your own eyes slid closed as he brushed his lips against yours, soft kisses, a gentle asking of permission.

You met him, you always did, and eventually his mouth grew firmer, more insistent, as he settled over you again. Your hands roamed up his sides, over his strong shoulders and over his back, where you could feel him moving over you. You pulled at him, wanting him closer, loving the way you could feel his muscles working as his body hovered over you. He shifted, propping himself on his elbows so he could reach over to grope your chest.

Grope was the right word, absolutely lacking in finesse, wanting to feel your soft skin under his fingers, as much and as soon as possible. Your back arched into his touch, pushing your breasts into his broad palms as Jake kissed you firmly. He pulled back, making his way down your face, your neck, your chest, and you lay back against the bed, gasping. His kisses were feather light, then nibbles, then he laved at you with his tongue before his teeth scraped against your nipples.

One of your hands drove from his back to his hair, tangling in the coarse strands and pulling when his mouth sent ribbons of pleasure to your core. Jake pulled back to look at you, and your stomach clenched at the sight of his swollen lips, flushed cheeks, his color high from chasing your pleasure.

You smiled at him, dopily, and his teeth flashed before he went back to your chest. While his mouth worked one breast, his hand worshiped the other, pulling and pressing and kneading and squeezing, lifting when his mouth switched between the two. His hips were gently rocking into yours, his cock lengthening against your stomach, and the awareness of him felt like a tease.

You reached down to wrap your hand around him, and Jake’s hips stuttered as you took him in your hand.

He felt heavy, and Jake’s next kisses felt more like bites, as he was distracted by your touch. You pulled your hand up his length, whimpering at how thick he felt, how your fingers couldn’t touch around him, how good he would stretch you. How full of him you’d feel, his hips rocking into yours–

One of Jake’s hands fell to your waist, gripping at the flesh there, and you realized you were grinding up into his thigh. He shifted, pressing down into you, and guiding the motion of your hips as you rolled against him.

“That’s it, darlin’,” he said, his breath warm against your chest. “Love feeling you working yourself up, waiting for this cock.”

His words had you fisting him tighter, and Jake’s hips jerked.

“Impatient,” he muttered, reaching down to push your hand away from him.

You resisted the urge to whine in protest, assuaged when you felt him reaching between the two of you to guide his cock to your entrance. He dragged his tip against your folds, and you fisted the hand in his hair, pulling sharply enough that Jake grunted, his forehead resting against your sternum.

“Stop teasing,” you gasped, and Jake laughed darkly against your skin.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he said, pushing his cock through your folds maddeningly slow, making no move to push deeper, “I know you can ask nicer than that.”

“Please, Jake,” you cried, not even embarrassed of how quickly you switched to begging. He was right there, you knew he’d fill you so good, and you’d been waiting for so long for this. “Need your cock, baby, please.”

“You need me,” Jake repeated smugly, accompanied by another slow drag.

“Yes, I do,” you whimpered. “God, Jake, please–”

“You always ask so prettily when you’re aching for me, baby,” Jake murmured, pulling back and shifting to line himself up to you. You turned your hips up, gasping with relief when you felt his head pressing into you. You moaned brokenly, the slow push filling you with a perfect ache, as Jake eased his cock into you.

Fuck, he filled you so well.

You felt yourself stretching, stretching, his hot cock searing you as he pushed against your walls. You could feel your thighs trembling as Jake’s hips pressed you into the bed, the intrusion steady and immutable. Jake kept pushing until he was fully seated, his thighs tight against yours, and you feel dizzy with how good it is.

“Now she’s quiet,” Jake said, his voice strained. “Stuffed with my cock like my baby wanted, and now she’s got nothing to say.”

“It’s so fucking good, Jake,” you whisper, and he groaned quietly. “You’re so good.”

“That’s right, baby,” Jake said, pulling back slightly. When he rocked his hips back, his cock dragged along your inner walls, raking a moan out of you. He pushed back in, still slow, still intoxicating, and you waited for your body to adjust to him.

“Shit, darlin’, you feel too good and you sound too wrecked; I can’t—” Jake broke off as he bottomed out inside of you. “Alright, angel, take a deep breath.”

You pulled in a breath without question, but it immediately punched out of you when you felt Jake’s hand come back to your neck. His hand settled lightly, similar to his first touch, just finding you, feeling you. He pulled out of you, and when your body bowed off the bed, chasing after him, Jake pressed his fingers down, and a whine tore out of you.

Jake jolted at the sound, his hips grinding forward at the sound.

“You’re so fucking hungry for me, aren’t you, sweetheart?” he gritted, and his thumb pressed harder. “God, I can feel this cunt just pulling me in, baby.”

You clenched down on him, his words driving you higher, as the stretch of him eased and you were able to take him deeper. It felt so good, his cock, his hands, and his words creating the perfect storm. It was just what you needed, him controlling every element of your pleasure like this, owning all of it.

“You’re doing so good, baby,” Jake praised, his rhythm speeding up as your body relaxed further against him. “ I feel you clenching on me, every time I squeeze just a little bit tighter, fuck, why is that so hot, baby—”

Your eyes fluttered as he pumped into you, one of your hands running up Jake’s arm to encourage him. He still was holding you more in place than anything, just a suggestion of pressure, and even that bit was so damn good, but you wanted more.

Your fingers closed over his hand on your throat and you squeezed over his fingers.

“Shit, angel,” Jake groaned, his hips jerking harder as he tightened his hand experimentally. “Are you sure?”

As his grip tightened, you felt a buzz spread over your body, and your eyes rolled back at the intensity of his touch.

“Jake, baby, fuck,” you rasped, barely intelligible, but he heard you or knew what you meant, because his thrusts got even deeper.

“You like that, baby?” Jake asked, driving into you. “My hand on your throat, my cock so deep in your cunt, pushing the air out of you?”

Your eyes were screwed shut as sensations bowled over you, warm and hazy and so damn good, and your hand rubbed his forearm encouragingly. Between his rough thrusts and his firm grasp on your throat, you felt utterly possessed, taken, like the answer to the driving need pulsing through Jake could only be found in you. The buzzy sensation spread and you moaned, or you meant to, but sound wasn’t coming past Jake’s hand, and you felt your body lightening, even as the pull at your core got more leaden.

Fuck, you couldn’t be there already, could you?

You vaguely felt Jake pull back to look at you, but you couldn’t look at him, couldn’t think, only hazy pressure and need coiling through your body. You felt your arms going slack, not just from oxygen deprivation but from the reality that Jake was absolutely possessing you. Owning you, fucking you hard enough for the both of you, living up to the trust he hadn’t wanted you to give him.

You opened your eyes, squinting up at him through the haze of pleasure and pressure.

His face was flushed over you, shoulders and jaw tight with exertion, but his eyes were bright and careful, watching you. You let go of his forearm, reaching up to brush some of his hair away from his face, holding his cheek for a moment.

Jake’s head dropped slightly for a moment, his pace slowing as he recovered, looking up at you and shaking his head.

“I told you not to look at me like that, angel,” he said quietly, and you shook your head because it wasn’t the same.

But you saw when determination set in behind his eyes, and he reached under you to lift your hips. Your back bowed off the bed as the angle changed, Jake’s thrusts lodging impossibly deeper inside of you as his pace increased. The buzzing got more intense as he pressed down harder on your throat and Jake’s hips snapped into yours as he fucked into you. You could sob from the intensity of it, how hot and desperate it felt, how heavy and feral, and then he dipped his head to your neck.

“Baby, you feel too fucking good; I need you to come,” he groaned, and you nodded as best you could against his hand. You were close, you knew you were close, and hearing the desperation on his voice was pushing you further.

“Come on, angel,” Jake said, and he fucked into you faster, deeper, and he let go of your throat suddenly.

You gasped in a deep breath, the haze evaporating as oxygen rushed through your veins. Everything that had been muted felt acutely intense, biting and sharp, and you sobbed out a moan as your orgasm shattered through you. It felt almost painful, like noonday sun bursting through midnight. You collapsed back onto the bed, boneless, your chest heaving and your body shaking.

“Fuck, angel, that was the most beautiful thing, fucking unreal, you’re so good, baby,” Jake choked, his thrusts growing more desperate. “You did so good, baby, giving it to me like that, fuck, baby—”

Jake buried his face in your chest as he came, his long moan vibrating across your body, as he pumped into you. His hips continued to work as he came, driving into you and wringing his orgasm out as he worked through it. You wanted to run your hands through his hair, smooth over his strong shoulders and repeat his words back to him—the most beautiful thing, so good, how he did so good. But your limbs were absolutely molten, numb against the bed as you trembled quietly, still recovering.

Jake’s hips stilled, and the room seemed silent after the sounds of your combined panting and moans. The air felt warm, dreamlike, or maybe that was your body still adjusting. You became aware that Jake’s hands had started moving slowly across your skin. Without lifting himself off your chest, his fingers were smoothing, carefully exploring, spreading across you as he checked over you.

“Need something, Hangman?” you asked, your voice sounding rough. At the sound of it, Jake drew in a sharp breath and pushed himself off of you, propping himself up to look at you.

“Just want to make sure you’re okay,” he said quietly, and his eyes were intent as they followed his hands, still roaming over you.

“Honestly, Jake,” you said, clearing your throat, “I think ‘okay’, is a disservice to how I feel right now.”

Jake smiled, something quick, his eyes crinkling even when his lips pursed. He still looked uncertain, which did things to your heart that you didn’t want to contemplate, so you offered him a smile of your own.

“I feel like jelly; I don’t think I can come up to you,” you told him. “So will you just come here?”

He grinned, bright like starshine, and crawled up the bed. His lips were gentle when he kissed you, and you kissed him back languidly.

There was a lot of the night left, and a lot of uncertainty left, but you put into your kiss all the things he didn’t want to hear you say–the things you hoped he knew, the things he didn’t want to believe, and the way that you’d never for a moment doubted whether his hands were the right place to put your trust.

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