captainofburritos - Tumblr blog

[captainofburritos]

please listen to albums someitmes youll be amazed at what an artists songs do when theyree in an order they made. for you to listen to. etc

[captainofburritos]

i am about to bestow upon you the secret butter technique. i am sorry, but it is french. i am sorry again, this only works with cow butter. i am certain plant based butters wouldn’t work, and alternative animal butters may or may not work

has this ever been you: you have a nicely steamed vegetable, or maybe you want to make the best butter noodles, but you know that if you put butter on those it’ll just melt and you end with kind of greasy noodles or vegetables? don’t you wish it was instead a luscious buttery glaze?

introducing: beurre monté

you will take a small sauce pan, and begin heating it with 1-2 tablespoons of water (use very little water) and bring it to a hard simmer or boil

turn the heat down slightly, and add Butter. how much? however much you dare. (start with 3-4 tablespoons and go from there)

you are going to either whisk Aggressively or you can pick up the saucepan, still holding it over the heat, and swirl aggressively so the butter is skating around the sides of the pan

done correctly, you will have liquid butter that is still emulsified. you have made Butter Sauce. season it with a little salt, and toss whatever you want in it.

if you’re butter splits, i’m sorry. you didn’t agitate it enough to maintain the emulsion, and now you have melted butter.

you can use this knowledge to make other sauces by swapping out the water for another liquid. white wine becomes beurre blanc. red wine is beurre rogue.

you want to CUM? sweat minced shallot in a tiny bit of butter, add white wine and cook it out until it’s reduced by about half. then whisk butter in hard. a few flecks of minced thyme or fennel frond stirred thru, and you eat that with a nice seared fish? or scallop? or even shrimp? wow. you will Nut

your boxed mac and cheese game can also be elevated by cooking your pasta and making a beurre monté first, tossing your pasta in that and adding the cheese packet. wow. hey; you’ll cum

go forth now with this butter secret

[captainofburritos]

Twilight sez

[captainofburritos]

At the barricades of freedom *vague sizzling of cooked meats*

[captainofburritos]

you know what? I WILL play with jpgs like dolls. what if life could be dream

[captainofburritos]

[captainofburritos]

Just a reminder as Netflix rolls out its anti password sharing system that you shouldn’t make the payment and you shouldn’t make a separate account. It may be just Netflix pulling this bullshit now, but if they can prove they made money off this, every other streaming service WILL roll out something similar. They may be encouraging password sharing now because it gets more people watching, but they’ll change their tune the second they see dollar signs.

[captainofburritos]

the 3ds is such an elegant device like she can play games she can fold she can be hacked what can't she do

[captainofburritos]

I feel like someone is standing next to me talking about how I'm dead

[captainofburritos]

obsessed with mass market paperbacks. their pleasing rectangular proportions. how they fit badly in a hoodie pocket so you can drag them around everywhere with you like a temporary little buddy. the way they fit in your hand because they're MADE for human hands and not as bookshelf decoration. the way the pages feel when you riffle them gently with your thumb. How pristine and crisp they look when you get them and how creased and folded they look when you're done, even if you try to be nice to them. how that wear is okay, how that's correct actually, because they're made with the philosophy that books aren't meant to be PRETTY, they're meant to be read. that little ripple new ones get on the left side from where you hold them when you're reading, the way the ripple only goes as far as you've read, because u change stories by reading as they are changing you. how you can find thousands of these creased and folded and loved little dudes in every thrift store and used book shop and neighborhood library and you can instantly see the ones that someone carried around in a backpack for weeks or read to pieces or gave up on halfway through because they wear being read like fresh snow wears footprints. I love these poorly made, subpar little rectangles so much. truly the people's books.

[captainofburritos]

malls are dying because they don't have blacksmith, apothecary, alehouse or peddler's

[captainofburritos]

HUH

[captainofburritos]

(via shepherdmakestiktoks)

[captainofburritos]

the most disturbing trend in online leftism is outright hostility towards any kind of community building tools and forgiveness whatsoever.

[captainofburritos]

I recorded this tiktok just now to advertise my fish and it’s making me laugh but i can’t post it on there til tomorrow. So u guys get early access

[captainofburritos]

a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints