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[captainquarantine]

January 16th Day 306

Bit of a jump here, as I completely lost track of journaling this, but I want to get back to it again.

I have moved back in with my parents, and I am in the final three months of my undergraduate degree. I am currently waiting on my post grad applications coming back with news.

I have been spending large amounts of time binge watching TV series, and I watched all of his dark materials yesterday. Nobody in my family has contracted covid touchwood, but pretty much all of my friends have had it so far. I am hopefully awaiting the chance of getting the vaccine some time over the next few months. Until then I am spending as much time in doors as possible.

my country is still completely in lockdown although we've had periods of time where it's been less strict, but right now it's just as bad as in March.

[captainquarantine]

can we stop with the “coronavirus is a blessing, actually” narrative

it’s not solving our “overpopulation” problem, because that was never our problem in the first place!! the problem is the overuse and inequitable distribution of resources

COVID-19 is not “nature taking it’s revenge”, it’s killing the vulnerable, not the corporations and billionaires responsible for the climate crisis

and the whole idea that it’s “bringing us closer together” may be true for the upper middle class getting to work from home, but it’s absolute bullshit for frontline workers, people who still have to go in to work, and people who can’t afford to live now that they aren’t allowed to work

[captainquarantine]

April 10th Day 25

today was good Friday and the sun was shining. I woke up at ten and played more on animal crossing and had some breakfast. Had my weekly therapy session and made baked potatoes.

The shopping we ordered arrived today and mum disinfected all of the packages before we brought stuff in. Turned out I forgot to add my cream eggs to the order which was disappointing but probably for the best. My diet has been pretty good recently. After lunch I did 500 more words on my story. Only 500 to go plus editing which I’ll do tomorrow.

For dinner we ate out by the fountain which I’m really getting obsessed with. I’ll miss it when the weather turns next week. My sister called in the evening and we spoke to her on video chat for a while. I spent most of the evening just relaxing and enjoying the sunshine. Towards the end of the night my mood turned rapidly down and I had a really rough evening.

meals

breakfast: yogurt/berries + weetabix

lunch: baked potato + a bag of Doritos

dinner: vegetarian escalopes and lime rice + 4 squares of chocolate

[captainquarantine]

April 8th & April 9th Day 23 + 24

The last couple of days were not very eventful so I combined them into one post. 

April 8th Day 23

Woke up this morning feeling like shit. I kept having this dream where my mouth was full of blood. I was ridiculously exhausted for some reason and my medication was making me shaky. 

I played animal crossing a large part of the day and slept. In the evening I spent some time with my parents watching TV but I wasn’t really paying attention to what they were watching. 

Meals: 

Breakfast: omelette and a slice of lemon cake. 

Lunch/Dinner: large bowl of rice and veggies.

April 9th Day 24

Woke up around ten o clock and had breakfast, then went back to bed. I stayed asleep until one o clock. I played more animal crossing and got some more of the cherry blossom recipes. 

By some miracle I managed to get an online delivery ordered for tomorrow so we have more food coming in now. Somebody put our fresh pasta in the cupboard and it went bad. 

I finally finished the last draft of my English essay, so I just have to finish my story now. I started reading the mortal instruments in the evening, although I’m not sure why, as I’m not really enjoying it. Mum baked chocolate chip cookies and they did not taste nice at all. She was disappointed about that.  I went to bed pretty late in the end. 

Breakfast: yoghurt, oats and fruit + a bowl of cornflakes 

Lunch: pasta and quorn 

Dinner: rice + two biscuits 

[captainquarantine]

April 7th Day 22

I woke up at half five in the morning to the sensation of something in my stomach like, bursting. It literally felt like something exploded. I was shaking horribly and in a lot of pain. Eventually I realised I was just like, really REALLY hungry? I forgot to eat dinner last night so that was probably the cause. 

I went downstairs and had some weetabix because my breakfast hadn’t defrosted yet. Turns out biting a frozen strawberry is really gross. After the shaking subsided a bit, I went back upstairs and slept until 11. I had my actual breakfast after I woke up again. Thankfully it wasn’t frozen at that time. 

After breakfast I went outside to sit by the fountain and it was so calming listening to the water running. The weather was nice and warm. Even warmer than its been this week. All of the daffodils have withered and died though which was sad to look at. 

I tried doing my university work and nothing of any quality whatsoever was being produced so I had to abandon it. Instead, I worked like six hours setting up a text based RPG online. Amazing how I can do that, but not what I’m actually supposed to be doing. 

I made some baguettes for us for lunch and then mum cooked in the evening. She did some more baking and we had tea and cake out by the fountain in the evening. 

When it hit like 11 at night my asthma decided to flare up really badly and I could barely breathe. It felt like my lungs were on fire and I had to take my blue inhaler like three times. I ended up sitting in the bathroom with the heat on the shower up really high. The steam definitely helped but my throat was so raw and painful after, even when I could breathe again. It was really nerve wracking as every time this happens now I assume I have the virus, which is quite unlikely as I have gone literally nowhere. I went to bed at 3am when I could finally breathe properly again. 

Breakfast: weetabix

Second Breakfast 0.o : vegan yogurt and oats

Lunch: cheese baguette

Dinner: mashed potato and broccoli + one cheese grill 

[captainquarantine]

April 6th Day 21

I woke up at half ten this morning and went straight for the oatmeal cookies. Dad ate most of them but I managed to get one. They were soooo good. I’m glad Mum’s trying her hand at some baking. It’s so delicious.  Not surprisingly I went on animal crossing after for a couple of hours. I finally unlocked terraforming which is great.

At around 2 I got on with some university work and finished another 500 words. Only 1000 left to go now before the editing stages. I’m not all that happy with everything I’m producing but I don’t think I can fail if they keep the no detriment policy in place. 

Mum baked some more and I cooked a big rice tortilla wrap meal for us for lunch. I’m really enjoying doing some cooking even if I’m not very good at it. 

I tried getting into the shadowhunters series on Netflix but I found it really boring and could not get into it, like at all, so I ended up turning it off. But we all watched some blackadder together as a family in the evening which is always a laugh. Mum and I nearly put on a new kdrama to watch and we had to stop ourselves or we’d have been up the whole night. 

Meals:

breakfast: 1 oat cookie, two rice cakes

lunch: bean, onion and cheese wraps 

dessert: mango crumble

I forgot to eat dinner oops 

[captainquarantine]

The Anti-Christ came and went, but no one noticed because he wasn’t worse than the current state of the world already is. The rapture followed, but no one went to Heaven, so we didn’t notice that either. We’ve been living in Hell for the last 5 years, and no one has noticed, yet.

[captainquarantine]

[captainquarantine]

April 5th Day 20

I set my alarm for half ten this morning and woke up feeling like there was sand in my eyes. They were so dry and painful for some reason. I had some avocado on toast for breakfast and got straight to working on my university work. Astonishingly I did 1200 words in like, an hour, which is really unusual for me. I’ve only got 1500 words left to do before submission now. Hopefully that will only take three days and then a week of editing. 

I started reading the order of the Phoenix and it was so interesting to read from an adults perspective. The last time I read the book all the way through I must have been not much older than Harry was supposed to be in the story. (I was probably 16/17 maybe?). So I could fully appreciate all the references to trauma Harry experiences. 

I cooked lunch for myself as everyone else had eaten and played a bit more on animal crossing to pass the time. I’ve become so obsessed with the game. It’s so peaceful and relaxing. My little character has so many cute outfits now. I called B whilst I was playing to talk to him for a while. 

The prime minister is now in the hospital which says a lot about how many infections there are in this country. Tens of thousands of people have covid in the UK now. I’m just thankful I have the ability to stay safe inside. Knock on wood nobody in the house has caught it at the moment. We’ve well passed our fourteen day incubation period now. I just hope we don’t catch anything from food shopping. 

Mum baked some lemon vanilla oat cookies for after dinner and they tasted freaking awesome. I haven’t had cookies that good in ages. We put the chamber of secrets on in the evening, let the dog beds wash and chilled out until pretty late in the evening. 

Meals:

breakfast: avocado on toast

Lunch: jacket potato with cheese and beans

Dinner: Potato stew, a packet of crisps and three digestives

Dessert: lemon oat cookies 

[captainquarantine]

April 4th Day 19

I slept until 11 today which is the latest I’ve slept in since I got home. I was lucid dreaming about being in a cornfield and I’m fairly certain it’s a place from my memories. The dream was so vivid I could feel the sun warming my back as I walked.

Dad went into town to pick up his prescriptions and he bought some bread. Mum got so angry at him because he wasn’t taking proper precautions with germs and it was really stressful to see them argue like that.

The weather was beautiful so I went outside for a bit and sat in the garden. I used the last of the peach liqueur to have a nice cocktail outdoors and read the rest of The Goblet of Fire. It’s been so long since I read these books all the way through that it’s quite exciting to do it again.

In the evening I cooked dinner and Mum baked a delicious apple crumble. It tasted amazing and it’s been years since I’ve had one now. I had a shower after dinner and let dad borrow my switch to play Mario. Mum and I played some animal crossing together afterwards quite late into the evening. Who knew that we’d all get so hooked on video games during these times. Hopefully tomorrow I will be more productive. Realistically I probably won’t.

meals:

lunch: peanut butter and jam sandwich, peach liqueur, packet of crisps

dinner: noodles and broccoli

dessert: apple crumble and tea

[captainquarantine]

April 3rd Day 18

I had a rather rude awakening at nine am this morning as Dad had Star Trek on so loud that it woke me up. I dreamed I had been working in an office that forced me to come in despite Covid-19 outbreaks. I guess it’s really leaking into my subconscious.

I played animal crossing for quite a while and I’ve been trying to make my town look nicer. I added a little picnic area and I’ve posted some of my pro designs on my tumblr blog. After I was done I spoke to my therapist again. It still feels like this week has passed so slowly and yet so quickly at the same time.

I finally did some cooking for lunch and made tortillas, but my asthma started flaring in the evening a bit. It makes me really nervous whenever I cough. Even though I haven’t been in contact with anyone for over two weeks, I still get scared.

I played more animal crossing in the afternoon and read more Harry Potter. I’m on book four at the moment. One of my favorites. We finished My Secret Terrius and I really enjoyed the outcome.

Clementine’s fur had gotten really tangled so I brushed all of the burs out of her. She was so soft after. I contacted B in the evening and he’s told me he’s not getting paid for his job training, so we still have financial worries on how we are going to pay rent. My student finance won’t cover us both because I’m on minimum and I can’t go to work at the moment. Every time it seems like something is working out, fifty more problems show up. My landlord isn’t giving us a rent holiday and we are expected to pay two months of rent in May for the missed month in April. It feels like everything is deteriorating so quickly now.

I went to bed really late in the evening feeling incredibly stressed.

meals:

breakfast: a bow of special K

lunch: pepper/onion/rice and cheese tortillas with a glass of squashF

dinner: a bowl of pasta, three biscuits and a packet of crisps.

[captainquarantine]

April 2nd Day 17

I woke up at half ten this morning and there is still no sign of any symptoms developing. It’s depressing that this is instantly where my mind goes now whenever I wake up in the morning. I had some breakfast when I got up and got straight on animal crossing again. It’s the only thing keeping me sane at this point.

My university sent out emails saying that they are going to implement a no detriment policy to our grades which is a huge relief. I’ve been getting 2:1 consistently up until now so I’m so thankful I won’t loose my progress if I fail the exams.

A little later in the evening we went out for a walk that turned into a complete disaster. Dad said to me that he wanted to take one of our dogs off the lead and they aren’t very well behaved. I disagreed and said it was a terrible idea, but he didn’t listen to me and let her off anyway. Low and behold, she got over excited when a jogger went past and chased him down the field. Luckily she’s all bark and no bite, and she’s so tiny she’s not scary, but still. I felt really bad for the guy.

I managed to finish a first draft for one of my essays but it still needs a lot of work done, and the other one is only half finished. Mum got on animal crossing later in the evening and we watched some more of our k drama later in the evening. I made sure to drink lots of tea.

Before bed I read some Harry Potter and sat in front of the dryer when it was nice and warm. I chatted with my mum really late into the evening and we went to bed at like two am.

I’ve decided to keep a record of what I’ve been eating for future reference

breakfast :: yoghurt, oats and berries

lunch :: home made curry and rice + 2 bags of no salt crisps

dinner: cheese pitta and some cereal

[captainquarantine]

April 1st Day 16

I woke up at ten o clock this morning and had an omelet for breakfast. I’ve been feeling pretty guilty about not doing much cooking since I’ve come home, so tomorrow I’m going to make a nice meal for us all. I played some more on  animal crossing for most of the morning and took a nice warm shower after. 

I had class at 2 o clock and we did some flash fiction and workshopped each other's stories which was really fun, and I managed to write a short story I was really happy with. I almost feel like overhauling my whole project in favour of some new ideas, but I don’t think I have time to do that successfully before the submission deadline. 

After my class finished at 5, I did some filming for my Mum’s school assembly project and my arms were ACHING at the end of it. Who knew holding a phone up for so long could be so tiring. Still, I really enjoyed helping her out. 

All of this staying indoors has resulted in waaay too many PJ days so I decided to put some makeup on and take some nice photos of myself. It was good to feel presentable again even if nobody else saw it. 

Mum cooked some curry in the evening and we watched more of my secret Terrius. Turns out it has this weird coincidental plot involving a mutant coronavirus... so... Kdrama can predict the future now I guess. S and I watched some of Deadman Wonderland on stream afterwards which was pretty fun. 

I tried uploading Mum’s video to the school website in the evening but her computer just wasn’t having it. I’m not sure what was wrong with it. 

Just before I went to sleep I called B and we spoke on the phone for a little bit. His job training has been confirmed now and he should be starting very soon. 

[captainquarantine]

March 31st Day 15

I woke up at 10 am this morning. I had really awful nightmares last night. I played animal crossing pretty much all morning. I’ve had Hippeux move into my town and I’m not that fussed on him. I’ve been really enjoying playing animal crossing as a distraction for what’s been going on. 

I fed the dogs in the afternoon and caught up on posting my journal entries. I’d been too tired for a while to do anything apart from write. I did 800 words on my uni work though and I’ve only got 2700 left to go. Tomorrow I plan on doing more. 

We went out for a walk with the dogs but there were so many people out I didn’t feel safe being around others and insisted that we go home. Clementine kept choking herself as we were walking because she wanted to get ahead. She is so difficult to take out as she barks at anything that moves. Still, it was good to get a bit of exercise. 

After we got back, we put on some more Kdrama and mum played animal crossing for a little bit. I sat in front of the dryer because it blows warm air when its spinning and it feels really nice. 

B and I took an empathy test in the evening online and I scored 59/80 which was lower than I expected. B got 8 but that’s not overly surprising. I really miss him even more than before. 

[captainquarantine]

March 30th Day 14

It’s officially been two weeks now, so if I contract the virus I know it hasn’t been from work or university. I woke up at 10 this morning but I had to set an alarm. I was so exhausted when I woke up that, after breakfast and a little animal crossing, I went back to sleep for a while. This turned out to be a bad decision as I was more tired after waking up, and I had bad dreams whilst I was asleep.

Mum and I got a chance to watch our Kdrama together today which was quite nice. I was going to do some work for uni but I just didn’t have it in me to do anything but laze about today. I did help write up a meal plan for the house though, so we make sure any food we have is rationed properly and nothing gets thrown away. Some of our strawberries have gone rotten, but they are still well in date so I’m not sure what happened there.

mum played on my switch for a while in the evening and I helped her learn how to play animal crossing a bit more. I started reading a book called the Pirate King’s daughter, which was kind of cliche and not that well written, but still pretty enjoyable.

[captainquarantine]

March 29th Day 13

I woke up a little later today and ten thirty and mum cooked an omelette for me which was lovely. She was quite stressed today. I spent quite a long time doing university work and I’m back to where I was before I had to delete loads of it.

I watched some My secret Terius for a few hours. Mum and I were going to watch it together but she had to work on some things and take some conference calls. My mental health was not good today at all, especially in the evening. I felt extremely blurry and disconnected for a large part of the day.

We stayed up quite late watching Jurassic World. I tried using some hand cream because of how dry my skin has gotten from hand washing, but I had some kind of reaction to it and my hands were burning for ages after. We got too tired to finish the movie and eventually went to sleep.

[captainquarantine]

It is my image that I want to multiply, but not out of narcissism or megalomania, as could all too easily be believed: on the contrary, I want to conceal, in the midst of so many illusory ghosts of myself, the true me, who makes them move.

Italo Calvino, If On a Winter’s Night a Traveler (via merulae)