captainrexika

[captainrexika]

The City in the Snowglobe

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: Master/Martha

Notes: Based in an old AU of mine, set about 9 years after ‘The Stolen Earth’.  If you have any questions about the AU in general, please ask!

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[captainrexika]

Some Genderbent Vegebul for April Fools' day

[captainrexika]

THEY WERE JUST MEANT TO BE

[captainrexika]

Free Catholic Books 

Slowly building a collection of books, so far I have stuff on:

Apologetics - General, to non-Catholic Christians, and to non-Christians

Ethics and Morality

Catechisms

Grace

Meditations 

Works of the Saints - So far just Augustine and St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori

All of these are completely free and legal to read. Feel free to share this elsewhere and to suggest some topics you’d like covered! 

[captainrexika]

Faking who you are for clout is a foreign concept I cannot wrap my head around and I won’t attempt to do so. People on social media, and this app more specifically, live in an alternate reality where most of you wish to dismantle the patriarchy, yet are unable say no to a man and blame many of your actions on socialization. I don’t understand how some of you have been doing this for years - arguing about concepts and theories that you yourselves don’t fully comprehend. The thing is you *know* most of this stuff doesn’t matter which is why there is a new, but not so new, oddly specific, topic for you to get heated about every week. Some of you are so self-aggrandized in your thinking, you truly believe arguing endlessly with people on social media will be the catalyst for the change you want to see.

You can say whatever you want on the internet and develop whatever contrived persona you wish, but reality will always win. Most of you are wolves in sheep’s clothing and will accuse anybody who sees you for who you are as horrible people because they won’t participate in your identity politics. More specifically, when lesbians don’t entertain your everchanging identities, the perception you’ve carefully curated of yourself begins to crumble and you say anything you can to appeal to people’s emotions to regain your false sense of self. You’re in good company because most people on social media are fake and there is a silent agreement to uphold the e-currency that is likes, reblogs and followers where you find your self-worth because you don’t have much of it when you move through the real world.

Sure, you can find/build communities using your contrived persona, but once the real people recognize what’s going on and slowly move out of these communities, you fakes will find yourselves surrounded by those who are as inauthentic as you. Your fellow fakes will give you all the validation you ask for because they’ve found a mirror in you. Validating your falsehood is the same as validating their own. Since you dislike yourself, you’ll find that you easily forget about the hundreds of people who validate you on a daily basis and focus on the few authentic dissenters because you know deep down what the dissenters are saying is true. You take what they say as a personal attack, even when it was not directed at you because you’re terrified at the thought of somebody seeing you for who you truly are. You’ll find that the people validating your contrived persona doesn’t feel as good as you thought it would because it’s not *you* they’re validating but the person you wish you were. You refuse to look within and get to a place where you’re comfortable with your authentic self because it’s too difficult for you to find worth in yourself as you are. Instead, you find it easier to demand other people change their honest opinions so you feel better about the identity you have created, latched onto and claimed as your own. The boost you get from online interactions is the fuel that keeps you going, but it’s temporary. You become addicted to this easily obtained validation, you continue to use social media heavily, find yourself signing up for multiple platforms (because one isn’t enough) and you spend all your free time on them year after year because it’s a great distraction from looking within and facing the facts that you’re not who you think you are and you’re not doing what you think you’re doing.

Your follower count doesn’t matter, especially when you’re an empty person who constantly enagages in negativity and thrives on chaos. 200 people agreeing with your opinion online, temporarily increasing your self-esteem, doesn’t mean shit when you feel like you’re nothing when you’re not in front of a screen. Honest people can see right through your facade, know you’re a person with deep seated issues and the fact you use social media as a tool to run from away from yourself. Introspection is completely out of the question for most people on Earth so they compensate by focusing on what other people are doing instead of turning the mirror on themselves. Social media is the microcosm of this global dynamic combined with the false confidence of hiding behind a screen which makes for a total shit show of egos clashing. These types of people can play pretend and water their garden of lies to uphold the overall culture of everybody lying to themselves so they don’t have to face reality. You’ve dedicated yourselves to calling people out online or being anti-[group of people] to forge a persona you can identify with and hold onto for dear life because you’d have no sense of self otherwise. These types of people move in large numbers which is why those who are honest with themselves have little to no social media presence. Authentic people don’t need the empty praises of others and the empty insults are just as ineffective - we all still have to live with ourselves regardless of how highly or lowly people think of us. Nobody knows each other on the internet. We either like each other because we share the same opinions or dislike each other for having opposing opinions; it’s the way it is and will continue to be so stop fooling yourselves with this online “community” stuff. If the majority of a “community” is lying about who they are, is it really a community? If honest people do gain some social media presence, insecure people will pile on them until they either adhere to the status quo or leave social media alone altogether. More specifically, it’s disappointing that non-lesbians can come together to criticize lesbians for being attracted to women, but will die arguing that we not only have the capability to sleep with men but enter into long-term committed relationships with them. Non-lesbians are the majority in the lesbian community, let that sink in. Bigotry will never end as long as bigots truly believe they’re correct in their thoughts and opinions and will apply a righteousness (such as feminism) to themselves to free them of the belief they’re engaging in any wrong-doing. The reality is, lesbians are going to have to deal with a truckload of bullshit from all angles for the foreseeable future as people are too egotistical to consider that everything isn’t for or about them. If they can’t have something nobody else will.

Put down your phone or step away from your laptop go outside, look at a tree for 5 minutes and realize there’s more to life than this petty shit. A lot of you are going to seriously regret wasting years on these subpar apps instead of doing something worthwhile and building yourself as a person. Some of you aren’t even aware of your talents because your addiction runs that deep. This online shit isn’t going to make you feel better about yourself, I promise you. That dopamine hit will leave as quickly as it came. Stop looking to other people to make you feel better about yourself. You came into this world alone and you’ll die alone. People will come and go throughout life, there’s no point in stressing about it. Accepting these facts will make life more bearable. I mainly used this app to read the blogs of those who were honest, but a lot of them fell into the trap of thinking poorly of themselves because they read the false narratives being perpetuated online. You’re a lot more suspectible to this shit than you think, don’t fool yourselves. You don’t realize your value and it’s hard for me to read because you come off as cool and likeable people, but you’re going to have to realize that yourselves and stop looking to other people to act as a source of self-esteem. Life isn’t easy for most people which is why we’re largely fucked up, attempting to ignore/hide how fucked up we are or are sociopaths. Stop looking for a community online, it’s an illusion. You’ll find that you’re cool with everybody until you say something the majority don’t agree with which is usually the definition of our sexuality. Stop pimping out your relationship to gain likes/views from strangers on social media. You and your s/o could break up tomorrow and you’ll lose everything worth a damn because your sense of self was derived from being in a relationship. Stop devaluing yourself because you’re not in a relationship or haven’t had as many romantic experiences as somebody else - most of these these couples who religiously live blog their relationships aren’t what they seem and people will lie until their lungs give out.

The the truth is if you have a high follower count you’re most likely not 100% true to yourself because you’re worried about your follower count decreasing. You’re in a perpetual cycle of reading the room and speaking on some topics while others are off limits because you’re scared to lose people you percieve to be your friends - and you will probably lose them, but it isn’t that much of a loss because their friendship with you was superficial with a lot of terms and conditions attached to it. Is it worth it to lie about who you are and your values to the point where you lose yourself trying to please other people? Don’t minimize yourself for anybody. You violate your own boundaries every time you do this because you’re allowing people who won’t accept you have access to you. You’ve spent months to years being something you’re not to gain a following and you did it for a currency that only exists on social media; validation that ceases to exist when you’re not online. It’s pointless.

[captainrexika]

The argument, however niche (it’s very niche) appearing for the first time in human history that people can and should be attracted to one another regardless of biological sex is a direct result of kids forming friendships, relationships, and entire communities and social circles with people they’ve never met online, resulting in a whole group of kids who think of people as disembodied concepts and selfies and personal posts. In this essay, I will-

[captainrexika]

Sleep paralysis demon/nightmare x reader (nsfw)

This was begun on a Twitch writing stream, with lots of input from the chat, and while I did say I would post it straight to Tumblr, I ended up adding another 3k words to it, and a tiny bit of plot, so I figured I’d put it up on Patreon first. Since Patreon supporters voted so highly for a ‘nightmare’ on the ‘next monsters’ poll (thank you!), I thought it should go up there first too.

Our reader has been experiencing anxiety and insomnia lately, and this draws something to us… There’s a bit at the start that’s got creepy vibes to it, but the creature means us no harm. Because of the sleep paralysis element, I’m going to say watch out for non-con vibes, but nothing really happens without our consent first time round. Just putting it here in case that’s a major issue for anyone.

Ft. dapper mothman landlord Reggie, and gnoll best friend too.

“You’re living where now?” Francis practically barked into his whisky as you sat together after work. The gnoll’s enormous, dish-like ears flicked forwards, dark and fuzzy and full of concern. “Seriously, you do know how shitty that part of town is, right?”

“It’s not that bad,” you growled, taking a sip of your own drink and leaning back into the soft leather back of the chair. You stifled a yawn and blinked, the exhaustion of a week’s worth of broken sleep catching up to you in one brutal rush.

Francis flicked an ear and levelled you with a flat look, dark eyes serious for once. “You’re kidding…?”

“Ok, fine, it’s not amazing, but it’s really not the worst bit of town. Anyway, it’s all I can afford right now until I find a new job.” That seemed to shut him up on the subject, at least for now. He couldn’t argue with your dwindling bank balance after all.

“When’s your first interview?” he asked, raising the whisky to his lips and sipping it with surprising elegance for someone with such big hands and such a powerful jaw.

Taking a deep breath, you forced the nerves down and muttered, “Monday. I’m not prepared, but at least it’s something.” You tried not to think about the inbox full of rejection letters which, in a mere two sentences and with surgical succinctness, told you that they were not hiring, nor looking to hire, nor to take on any new staff just at the moment. Thank you for your interest.

It wasn’t interest; it was sheer bloody desperation.

“You’re not going to be at all prepared if you get mugged to death on your way home tonight,” Francis grumbled.

“It’ll be fine.”

He looked at you again and took another final drink of his whisky, long tongue lapping out the remaining dregs before he set it down with a clonk on the circle-stained table. “Please text me when you get there?”

With a solemn promise to do just that, you stood and he followed you outside into the cool evening. A scuffle of dry leaves drew your attention to your right, and the fleeting shadow of a cat projected huge along a brick wall made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Francis’ concern had got you jumping at the smallest things, and as you separated from him with a warm hug and the reiterated promise that you’d be fine, you gritted your teeth and told yourself in no uncertain terms not to flinch at the slightest sound.

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[captainrexika]

I love reading y’all’s hcs about like. clone military shit cause it just be so utterly wrong and counter to anything any military in existence has ever done ever. Gives me a lil chuckle every time. So obvious none of y’all know anything about how soldiers act around each other it’s comical just boldly loud and wrong I love it and live that for y’all just glorifying this shit and you don’t even know what tf you’re even talking about lmfao