captainshorter

[captainshorter]

The weird intersection between fatphobia, sexual puritanism and fake progressiveness that breeds the idea that a skinny person attracted to fat people is a "chubby chaser" or a "fat fetishist" and not just like. Someone who has the hots for fat people. The idea that only another fat person could be attracted to fat people, otherwise it's sinister. Secretly you think any skinny person who'd want to fuck a fat person is debasing and devaluing ourselves, but you've pivoted into pretending you worry about a fat person's dignity.

[captainshorter]

“paid subscription with ads” is fucking crazy. if you pay for a service and then get served an ad on said service you should be allowed to pipe bomb its executive at no legal risk

[captainshorter]

yes the rumours are true !!! i would like a kiss. perhaps two or three actually if that’s not asking too much

[captainshorter]

editing is so funny because it's like "damn, i wrote 'before' two times within three paragraphs. they are going to stone me in the town square for this"

[captainshorter]

saying "und wenn sie nicht gestorben sind, dann leben sie noch heute" instead of "they lived happily ever after" is so fucking funny to me. like, yeah. ofc they're still alive if they didn't die. doesn't mean it's a happy life though lmao

[captainshorter]

every time a fandom dumbs down a very interesting nurodivergent character to “stupid dumb dumb child infant who’s smol and innocent and needs protection bc he’s just a baby” an angel fucking dies btw

[captainshorter]

[captainshorter]

My brother in law recently became a veterinarian and it has really driven the point home as to how fucking bonkers veterinary medicine is. We don't expect human physicians to really know much outside of their own specialty - a dentist, an otolaryngologist, and a maxillofacial surgeon are three totally different dudes. Meanwhile a veterinarian at a wildlife rehab center is doing orthopedic surgery on a hawk and then doing rounds on baby hedgehogs in the hedgehog NICU and administering antibiotics to a ratsnake. And he also knows how to perform surgical interventions on a cow! What the fuck! Those are all totally, wildly different kinds of animal!!

Shout out to veterinarians, they know Too Much.

[captainshorter]

not just ‘he would not fucking say that’ but ‘he would not, under torture, admit that’

[captainshorter]

sugar we're going down is like. yes it's overplayed yes everyone has heard it a million times and then some. but it really truly never gets old. not ever. i could never get sick of it. sometimes it comes on and i'm like "ehh i don't know if i feel like it" but i let it play and i'm reminded just how deserving this song was of being THE song that skyrocketed fob to mainstream success. it really is That fucking good. purely iconic 2000s emo excellence. literally flawless song, 1000/10, no notes, i AM more than you bargained for and always will be, i love you forever fall out boy

[captainshorter]

[captainshorter]

[captainshorter]

[captainshorter]

the whump fan’s dilemma

[captainshorter]

"who said that" is my ult fav thing to say ever after saying something insane

[captainshorter]

character who is doomed by the narrative but essentially responds to it by going "nuh uh"

[captainshorter]