captdicksimmons

[captdicksimmons]

[captdicksimmons]

You--you wouldn't! You? Get to someone quicker than I could? I doubt that.

If you did that, I'd just get all the god damn rations- -And be left with a bitchy Grif!

... .....Shut up.

better listen to you?  not fucking likely

maybe i pull out whatever is under here and show him that ill bet i could get to him first

ill bet all the fucking rations in this god damn place, too im that serious simmons

shut your stupid virgin hole

and i mean your mouth. not the other one.

[captdicksimmons]

You better listen to me, fatass!

And you bet I'd dare! I think Sarge would be very happy to hear the truth! And you know how I am when it comes to superiors...

what? huh? i dont know… what’d you just say?

i mean, yeah simmons… whatever you say…

… … … you wouldnt dare you spineless little jerk.

[captdicksimmons]

What did I just say?!

Grif! Grif--stop! Stop it, god dammit!

You better not be looking-- ---I swear to god!

I guess I'll just have to tell Sarge about what REALLY happened to last month's rations!

im not looking in the trunk, babe…. because theres no secrets in there.

totally… not… loo… king… in the trunk.

under your bunk. in our room…

not doing it. no secrets to be found ‘round here…

[captdicksimmons]

                  Okay--wait, what?!                               Now I just want to talk about it less!

                          I-It's not for Grif!                                               Kind of..                                                        Wait, what am I saying?                                                                        We're definitely not talking about this!

                    See, that’s why I’m talking about it with you.

                       You get so goddamn awkward, and it’s hilarious.

     —alright, so, what topic were we on? Oh yeah—the kind of dresses Grif likes to see you in. C’mon, I wont tell anyone.

                                                      { Lies. }

[captdicksimmons]

Don't call me babe!

No! No! No we can't! It--it's still embarrassing, Grif!

Nnnno! No! You're not looking in that trunk, no way! Even if I did have more secrets- They're secrets for a reason!

babe we can totally talk about these kinds of things now its all out in the open no secrets here, you know that

do you have anything else you want to show me? maybe you have more secrets in that trunk under your bunk or something

how didnt i notice it before? its RIGHT THERE!

[captdicksimmons]

PRESS CTRL + F TWICE IN THE HTML PAGE, PUT UR FIRST URL IN THE FIRST BOX, NEW URL IN THE SECOND, THEN PRESS ALL AND IT'LL DO THE WHOLE THING FOR U

❝ ＯＯＣ ↴

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[captdicksimmons]

        ......Lying never was my strong point...                                                          And I-I don't--                                                                   I don't feel quite comfortable discussing this with you!!

                Wow.

                        You’re really fucking bad at lying, you know that?

                              Now, what kinda dresses are we talkin’? Like…the frilly girl kind or the slinky girly kind?

{ Aaaaand this will be forever used as blackmail. }

[captdicksimmons]

       I-I,           I don't know what you're talking about!                                                                  That's not it!

▌█ β █ ▌▬ ♦

Aw, but I wanted to hear about all the dresses you’ve got stashed in your closet.

                          Grif really gets a kick outta that kind of stuff, doesn’t he?

[captdicksimmons]

Oh, god. No--don't, don't--

God dammit.

I didn't mean- You're just making this worse! Why do you have to be so insufferable about this?! I- just, no. No. Fuck off!

--Okay, yeah, I regret saying that. Let's not.

trouble? wait, wait, wait. woahaha…

… is that a threat?

is dick fucking simmons actually threatening me? im quakin’ and shakin’ in my god damn armor, dude.  slow down, you might actually take a swing at me.  and we all know that’d be WAY more embarrassing for you, than it would be for me. so you might wanna save them fightin’ words, mr. cyborg-fights-a-lot.

aw, buddy, i thought you didn’t want to talk about it?

[captdicksimmons]

GRIF, I SWEAR TO GOD.

[captdicksimmons]

Well--!!! Ugh, ugh, fine. Fine.

You better not! Otherwise there'll be trouble! Of a sort!

You.... You're going to have to be.... a bit more specific.

dude, bud, man. cmon!

no need to yell, holy shit.  take it down a notch, chill. relax.

i wont say anything about the frilly-nillies if you don’t. right? 

so how about those other things. y’know? my favorite things? those things. the not so frilly willies…

those things…

[captdicksimmons]

I don't really think you CAN keep a secret, Grif! Because y'know, not really keeping it very well!!!

OKAY, WELL, I THINK WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE HERE. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE GONNA START HINTING ABOUT THE '''Y'KNOW'''.

your secret is safe with me you think i cant keep a secret? give me a fucking break

i never even told any one about the frilly— y’know

[captdicksimmons]

First! I'd rather it not be DISCUSSED!!! SECOND! That's a lie!

babe……….. you never wanna do the things i wanna do

[captdicksimmons]

Can wE NOT.

you know whats the best? you. in a dress. ;)

[captdicksimmons]

No.