captusa

[captusa]

𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐅𝐑𝐂𝐍𝐓 & 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐒𝐀, selective & mutuals only portrayals of the WINTER SOLDIER & CAPTAIN AMERICA, written by jak & sal. must be 18+ to follow.

[captusa]

gentle reminder that i don't tolerate any type of hate for female characters or ocs & anything like that on ur blog is an immediate block from me

[captusa]

𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐂𝟏𝐁𝐋𝐄 , a selective & mutuals only portrayal of MARK GRAYSON from robert kirkman's INVINCIBLE. must be 18+ to follow, written by sal.

[captusa]

teeny inbox call while i'm at work !

[captusa]

Stucky in 2025 fuck this stupid game

[captusa]

it was a little hard to pick out a movie he didn't think would be TOO MUCH for bucky - steve knew all too well that the realism of some movies could have led to their night in being ruined. some cheesy, overly stunt - driven spy movie was the best thing he could settle on, something he'd watched a few times over himself & knew was too corny to send him spiraling. he was tired, it was rare he genuinely had time to waste & relax like this, it was to be enjoyed to the fullest. having bucky curled against his chest was probably the best way he could have spent it - the two of them had been attached at the hip recently & he wouldn't have had it any other way. he felt more at ease knowing exactly where he was, that he was fine.

steve was beginning to doze off, finding it hard not to when he had seen this movie a million times over. there wasn't much to pay attention to & all of his recent activity was starting to catch up to him. still laying there, somewhat propped up on his own arm, his eyes pry back open when he feels the other man shift next to him. he says nothing to him, only hums, as if trying to ask what he needed - he hadn't even processed he'd been dozing off until that moment. sitting up a little, trying to wake himself, it would have sucked to waste the time the two of them had together on sleeping. ❛ you don't like the movie? ❜ he assumes, dragging a hand down the side of his face, as if wiping the sleep from it. bucky's presence, nor his prosthetic, did anything to disturb him. with how close the two of them had been recently, he'd grown quite used to it & it was hard to be bothered when he knew the source. a little bit of metal pressing into his side & his stomach was the least of his concern. he'd never ask for it to be removed - bucky's comfort came before anything. ❛ watch this part coming up - i love this part. this is what people think our job is like. ❜

[ MOVIE ]: sender and receiver watch a movie, tangled up in blankets.

THEY NEVER GOT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS - peace allowing, they had the chance to pop on a movie. in the private space of STEVE'S APARTMENT, they didn't have to worry about prying eyes. comfortably tangled in one another underneath a fluffy blanket. he had never felt calm like this, his mind allowed to stay on the movie. head perched on his knuckle, he was leaned in towards the man. eyes half - open, it almost looked as if he was dozing off. that wasn't the case, he was completely enamored with the pictures on the screen. there was no need for conversation, the sounds from the television filling up the space. it was a spy movie - filled with action & romance. he couldn't say that he knew much about modern media, but the man had picked something that was right up his alley. something that would keep his eyes locked onto the screen without fail. some of it hit a little too close to home, and some of it was downright ridiculous. they could get a little laugh out of the parts that didn't align with their real life job. unrealistic tools & situations - only to be had in a movie.

lifting his head some from the perch on his hand, he tries to catch a glimpse of the man. he wasn't sleeping, was he? prying eyes went to catch a look of his face, wanting to see if his eyes were still open. curling up towards him, he had to move a little to get a good position to see his face. his own half - buried in his chest. he had made no issue about curling himself against the other; and STEVE seemed to have no complaints about his prosthetic digging into him. he could have taken it off - but he wasn't fond of being without one arm. he left it on for most situations; only to sleep at night, taking it off & making himself comfortable. though, it wasn't too comfortable without it. phantom pains of his missing limb haunted him. he much preferred to have the alternative.

[captusa]

[captusa]

a tender glimpse beneath the surface

❝ i'll always protect you. ❞

❝ i never meant to get this close, but now that i have i can't let you go. ❞

❝ i live for the moments when you look at me. the rest of the time i'm just existing. ❞

❝ i don't like how you make me feel. but i like not being around you even less. ❞

❝ i wish you wouldn't look at me like that. when you look at me like that i...it makes me wanna do things i shouldn't ❞

❝ there's no line i wouldn't cross for you. don't you realize that? ❞

❝ i did this for you. no one else. ❞

❝ i don't like it, but i'll do it for you. ❞

❝ i wonder how much of myself i'll have to give to you—how much i have to lay bare—before you realize how much you're taking. ❞

❝ i'm not trying to fix you. i'm just trying to be your friend. ❞

❝ i'm not um, real good at thank yous. or sorry's. but if you ever need me, i'm there. i owe you one. ❞

❝ i've seen you at your worst and i'm still standing here. ❞

❝ you've seen me at my worst but you're still here... ❞

❝ you can be mad at me, i can take it. i'd rather you be angry than shut me out. ❞

❝ i'm not angry, i'm just scared. ❞

❝ i know you love me, but do you like me? ❞

❝ do you think i'm a good person? ❞

❝ do you think i care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference? of course i'm helping you. ❞

❝ tell me what i can do to show you how i love you. i will give you anything you ask for. ❞

❝ you don't have to keep apologizing. just be here. day in and day out and prove that you're gonna keep showing up. that's all you have to do. ❞

❝ i only sleep well when you're next to me. ❞

❝ i don't want an apology i just want to understand. ❞

❝ i could actually use a hug right now. ❞

❝ i want everyone else to go away, but you can stay. ❞

❝ i actually do care what you think about. you're probably one of the only people whose opinion matters to me. ❞

❝ you always seem to know what i need. ❞

❝ you always seem to know just what i need to hear. ❞

❝ i want you to call me when you need someone. i want to be here for you. ❞

❝ you're the one i wanna call when i need someone. ❞

❝ seems like i always want you around when everything feels all fucked up. guess that means something. ❞

[captusa]

𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐅𝐑𝐂𝐍𝐓 & 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐒𝐀, selective & mutuals only portrayals of the WINTER SOLDIER & CAPTAIN AMERICA, written by jak & sal. must be 18+ to follow.

[captusa]

went on my little comic journey & got my girlfriend the LAST bucky comic he had. why is this mf so hard to find

[captusa]

IT WAS A HARD THING TO SEE, A HARDER THING TO GO THROUGH - steve himself, he couldn't imagine it. many wouldn't be as forgiving as he was, many already were not, but he knew this couldn't have been the work of bucky on his own. the atrocities committed, it just didn't seem like the man he had known for so long. even when the attacks were more personal, against people close to him or even against himself, steve had steeled himself. there was one goal in mind & that was to bring him back to himself, which, so far, was going as well as it could. it was a rocky road & it would be for a while, it was impossible to imagine what was going on in his mind, but he could think of something close. it was not as if bucky was doing a good job at hiding it - no one expected him to & in a way, it was a relief that he could be so vulnerable in front of him.

the two of them had always been close, it was a slow process to regain now, knowing the memories were still a flaky subject. it would take time, everything would. he didn't stir at the feeling of the hand in his hair, his eyes remained closed - physically, he was fine, but there was a strange tiredness that resonated from his chest. it was not something he had felt in a long time. things lately, they had just been ROUGH, but it wasn't something they could not get to. the question causes him to close his eyes a bit tighter - he doesn't pull away, knowing it would cause a reaction for the worse. he doesn't want to pull away, but it's hard to answer. was he unforgivable? to many, yes. but to steve? ❛ no, ❜ he answers finally, ❛ you weren't yourself. i've forgiven you. ❜ it was the truth, though many wouldn't agree - there was always the possibility of something happening again in the future. bucky was a dangerous subject as a whole. steve, though, was a man of many chances - even more for someone he cared about so deeply. things could be fixed, he wasn't the monster he had been made into.

[ LAVENDER ] sender lays their head in receiver's lap and closes their eyes.

THE MEMORIES HAD HIT HIM LIKE A BRICK WALL. unable to contain himself at first, running away & hiding seemed like the best course of action. but - he couldn't hide from everything forever. if he wanted to escape them ... he needed his old partner. someone that could STOP them from ripping those memories from him once again - forcing him to comply. his name was BUCKY & he had extended history with the man whose head was in his lap at the moment. a rough go of things the last time they had met. he didn't seem to hold that against him, he knew there was greater powers at work here. someone was turning his DARLING SIDEKICK into a monster. doping him up & making him forget who he was. it was a sickening process, freezing him until he was needed; anything that would keep him from figuring out who he was - running off & finding himself in this very situation.

his hand - his real hand - comes down to touch the messy blond hair in his lap. wanting to see if it was as soft as it had looked. his memories had lacked anything like this ... was he still forgetting something? did he not remember everything when he was given back his most prominent recollections? it was hard to tell. CAPTAIN AMERICA - STEVE, as he knew him, didn't hold any of his treason against him. he was comforting him at the moment, just as much as he was comforting himself. they had been in numerous battles together; never expecting to be pitted against one another. taking off his mask with his bionic hand, he finally breaks the silence that hung so heavily in the air. ❝  was it unforgivable? what i did. ❞ he needs to know the answer. the weapon was usually never blamed for the kills it committed, but he was living & breathing. he should have had opinions on his own. throughout the affair, he started to become apprehensive of the orders that he was given ... it didn't stop him from carrying them out all the same.

[captusa]

~ Let's go home ~

Another piece from my patreon

[captusa]

# 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐒𝐀, an independent & selective portrayal of 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒, 𝐀𝐊𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀. mostly headcanon based with inspiration taken from comics & various movies. this blog is 18+ only, minors are not welcome. 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐀𝐋, 𝟐𝟓.

exclusives ; @wolfeign / @coldfrcnt , @symbicide .

i am a very slow writer. i struggle with motivation at times & i work a lot, but i am always lurking. i'm always happy to plot or trade memes. i'm never ignoring your reply or ask, it just takes me time.

this blog is 18+, minors will be blocked on sight. i try to tag triggers, but a general warning for this blog is violence, gore, mental health & religious themes ect.

shipping is always available, i just ask that it be discussed with me first.

i really don't do drama - it's not interesting to me. if you don't like me, please approach me in private or just block me. if i am interacting with someone deemed problematic & i am unaware, please approach me privately & allow me to make my own judgement. i don't like being involved in it either way.

psd credit to @/pinkinnards . graphics by my beloved jak & the lovely @/theircurse !