carbonatedcacti

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Could yall stop shooting each other outside my window im trying to masturbate

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things they should teach baseball players as soon as they go pro:

how to manage your money so you aren't broke at 40

sometimes your soulmate is a man

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first we do a Lego sesh then we do each other

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People on tumblr are like "I'm handing all my mutuals a bowl of soup we are kissing with tongue we are the bestest of besties I am killing and dying for you" but sometimes me and the mutuals are posting completely different shit existing on the same blogging platform but really we're just standing in the alley going "ayup" at each other like fucking king of the hill.

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blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

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nothign wrong with me that an orgasm a glass of orange juice another orgasm tweleve hours of sleep another orgasm a fuckload of pasta another orgasm a hot bath anothe roorgasm a bullet to the head another orgasm taking up smoking anpther orgasm a large alcolgic beveerage and aother orgams wont fix

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Yandere vs Guy Who Never Leaves Their House

“Yeah man, sounds great.

Now if you excuse me, snorrrrrrrr mimimimi….”

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are you even particularly passionate about cookies or did this just happen

serendipitously i genuinely love cookies and all baked goods a lot which makes the content research process very enjoyable

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I love how he started this off like he was about to do something brave

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i'm gonna make a midnight treat does anyone want my recipe for warm milk & honey while I'm at it lol

it usually zonks me out but I'm not very sugar sensitive so ymmv

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*jingling keys in front of elon musk* elon they were always gonna use you as the fall boy you need to do something alarming and crazy to get back at Trump jingle jingle oooh you wanna physically harm him so bad jingle jingle elon musk you could totally get away with doing something insane to the president btw jingle jingle

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if this gets 100,000 notes then i, the worlds greatest space agency will personally shoot donald trump into the sun

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Fish-rice integration is exciting. You harvest both fishes and rice on the same land. Do you like it?

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Woagh tag….

1. Preacher by Roe Kapara

2. Affection Addiction by VocaloKAT and Aku P

3. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KAO88FGh7ZE this cover of Hanabami that my wonderful friend @euphememe was in. Check it and her out!!

Tags- @wrennyx @cinnabar-rhubarb @espressoth @murderboisblog @eidolocene with no pressure!

MUSIC LOVERS ASSEMBLE!!

i feel like starting a tag chain so i hope this works out :)

reblog this with 3 songs:

the song your listening to right now (or last one you listened to)

your current favourite song

a song of your choice

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mine:

its now or never - elvis presley/love in the dark - adele

trastevere - måneskin

nevermore - queen

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tagggzzzz: (np ofc) @heartstopper-lover123 @s0lit4ir3 @ali-da-demon @vicwritesfic @skeelly @charliethinks @tori-my-love @chronic-skeptic @toulouseradiosilence @stewpid-soup @nine-frogs-in-a-trenchcoat @pessimistic-gh0st @theshyqueergirl @crowleybrekkers @a-bowl-of-soop @frogfairy444 @robinheaney12 @fairyghostgirlgaming @thatsawesomedontyouthink @venusplanetoflove2 @thelovelyvie @abookishshade @spir4nts-lun4r @i-have-no-idea-111 @kit-the-queer @a-wondering-thought @scatteredraysofhope @coco6420 @softlyunbreakable @givennnnnn @far-beyond-saving @darling-im-wonderstruck @heartstoppernerdsstuff @nonbinary-idiot-obviously @rebelrobinrules1984 @daydream-of-a-wallflower @leonine-elizer @angel-devil-star and anyone else who wants to join!!

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greta thunberg, liam cunningham, rima hassan, and everyone else on that ship, thank you, and i hope you succeed. i really hope you succeed. you know what you are risking, and i wish for you to come back safely, having done what you set out to do.

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