carbrulette-blog

[carbrulette-blog]

SOY BUENA HACIENDO ACTIVIDADES INÚTILES

Soy muy buena realizando actividades inútiles como dibujar,cantar, escribir, hablar frente a una cámara de mi vida. La gente le llama talento a todo eso que no tuvo tiempo de realizar y paga millones por apreciar a alguien que decidió irse por otro camino que no es una oficina. Muchas personas solo me quieren tener cerca para conocer mi visión del mundo, por qué sigo o hago las cosas sin filtro en un espacio sin restricciones como un dibujo o un aria. Todo lo demás parece marcado, como un territorio de lo políticamente correcto y el deber ser. ¿No se dan cuenta de que entre más reprimidos estemos más pagaremos por admirar en las pantallas, escenarios y fantasías lo que en la vida real no podemos hacer ni en broma? Una sociedad moralista siempre esconde deseos y usted y yo sabemos que lo que se guarda se pudre y se le van haciendo gusanos. Las perversiones más guardadas también se echan a perder y huelen mal... y se pueden destapar en el momento menos indicado. Estoy segura de que si hubiera nacido en la época de Ana Bolena, alguna de esas reinas moriría de ganas por tenerme en su corte porque tengo todos los talentos que les enseñaban para entretener. Soy buena para eso. Soy tan interesante que puedo dejar migajas de pan que lleven a caminos truncos en mi cabeza y así distraer a mi presa. Porque la mayoría de las parejas discuten por qué comida ordenar o por las supuestas infidelidades sin darse cuenta de que eso de por si ya es un campo minado y lo que necesita es una sola actividad inútil para no morir de aburrimiento cuando el otro se muestra tal cual es... vencido, cansado, roto, frágil... cuando uno es bueno haciendo actividades inútiles es una suerte de televisión que bien Te puede contar una novela de Alejandro Dumas o una noticia impactante o una idea de negocio que nunca florecerá. Soy muy buena realizando actividades inútiles como enchinarme las pestañas con mi almohada, aprenderme los números de teléfono fingiendo que los estoy marcando en el aire y entrevistar gente.

[carbrulette-blog]

I do not want to be a fraud!

Believe me! I am trying to accomplish every single to do in my list

Depression sometimes takes over me

Consumes me

All these voices inside me tell me to stop

They cut me the energy

They fucking eat me

I feel like mud for the worms

I tried everything ... from therapy to medicine

Nothing had worked 

sometimes motivational videos do

get me out of bed feeling like crap

but I know i have a goal

The problem is that it is not to be sooo wealthy like the Kardashians because I know in the bottom of my heart that the more money you need, the more problems you have

I want to be free, doing what I please and not stealing the filthy rich

but the thing is that there is no more money in the world, it only changes from hand to hand

One day a bill can be in a very well known food merchant and the other goes with a tech geek in San Francisco

But let me tell you, good old man, there is something you will not accept about me and that is that I like fresh air

I know, fresh air pollutes it all, but I like to see the sky and the Sun, they make me feel alive

I hate cloudy days inside with artificial little led Suns all over the house... I do not care if they are connected to a wi-fi program to change the colour! I do not care! I want my classic morning Sun despite the Cancer.

All these talks are good because I feel free to talk with someone who do not judge what I think and do not say “cancel”, “Cancel” every time i make a “decret”. The Universe already hate me ... even before the law of attraction.

This is my place to vomit before I smile to the world... and it feels so good!!! 

Come on demons now you have a playground.... the sand is all yours!

[carbrulette-blog]

I’m back!

It’s great to be back!

I miss myself so much!

I spent many many years believing I am wrong, I am guilty of every single thing! I wanted to have control again.

Obsessions are like cruises that can drive you wherever you want to go. Not all people understand it.

So as you should understand: No more distractions... finish easy stuff quickly and get back to what is really important.

I think what is worst about me is that I do not feel economically strong, feeling vulnerable and weak.

That is bullshit! You are full of money you only have to concentrate and get the fucking job done... you are almost thirty for God sake! It’s time you understand it.

Get rid of common people with common problems with common ambitions... do you remember who you are and what have you done? Seems like you are not. You deserve a better place and not only for you but for your family... so why are you here in the first place? People with the third part of your talents are farther than you... and that is because of your doubts... am I good enough? am I pretty enough? you know wot? It is over... I am here to solve it!

No one else is going to put you down and your mind have to be the safest place for all your ideas... let’s take out the garbage out of here...

My first action as your queen is: stop eating yourself. It consumes a lot of your time. Do not touch you. Do not scratch. Do not harm yourself. These are my firsts rules and you have to obey me.

I do not want you to have more scars on your body... we are already busy fixing what you have done and what you forgot to do all these years.

Be the first to push you to another level. You are already late so do not delay your success anymore. Who says you are on vacation? You have to be on time... on time... ok? not 10 minutes after, not ten 10 after, not 2 months after! Go, go, go and now is your best friend.

Save time for your loved ones! Stop sleeping, or procrastinating and put that time with people you love. 

Be more real and stop thinking what people may think or say. It’s their fucking business to deal with their perspective of you. Don’t like it? Do not feel sorry... just ignore them.

Please feel free to write me whenever you need. Remember who you are and do not compare to others. For me you are the most special, talented, focused and intelligent woman in the world. Fight and win. No matter what.