cardboardsean

[cardboardsean]

Stanley Balthazar Jones

I’m on my knees, begging please. Oh, bring this winter to an end, just so I can see past the fog outside my window. I can’t wait to go away.

[cardboardsean]

peter 'communication issues' donaldson this week

mic's not picking up all the ways i beg you stay before you hang up

-- @cardboardsean

the words always wrong longing for telepathy but the click gets lost

-- me

[cardboardsean]

so its been one year (and a week) of petuesday. sorry about the tag guys. we will continue.

[cardboardsean]

anyways yeh uh goes to show you only have as much fun as you make etc i say everyone should write a haiku every tuesday. when i'm king everyone will write a haiku every tuesday

[cardboardsean]

JUST REALISED WE HAVE BEEN WRITING PETER DONALDSON HAIKUS EVERY TUESDAY FOR A YEAR. LOSING MY MIND. THIS IS SO STUPID. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT. THAT'S 52 HAIKUS (and some extra) TIMES TWO. WDYM.

[cardboardsean]

on this peter haiku tuesday we return to those eternal vox pop questions

pedro's bitch? more like someone should fistfight this bitch or steal his bird's nest --- @thebirdscomeback

I just have to say I don't want the benedick but i'm a bi guy --- me

[cardboardsean]

if they just puncehd each other pre-nmd...

[cardboardsean]

john actually said heaps in that interview about getting into fistfights and allonormativity and the like. we just didn't get to see it bc bea didn't gaf

[cardboardsean]

#ADHD kid is so smart#but goes to uni and loses their support structure and gets crushed by the system.#oof#because hero and claudio get married at the end of maan idt we ever see the repercussions of bene's decision to stand against#don pedro and claudio. Like yes there's the challenge but they mend fences quickly enough that there's no real fall out.#I've never thought about the loss of claud as contributing to ben's isolation in lolilo. I always read it as I might have to do this rewatc#ben and pedro are “missing” claud as a contributing factor to the madness. @avelourcynic yesyesyes all of this!!

aside from [waves at entire video] that, it IS bittersweet to see ben and claudio. they're so funny!! sweet together even. when the friend ship group breaks it feels like they're at a point where there's nothing worth saving, but god they really were proper friends at one point. and it can never be the same again. thinking about ben who's been so lonely for so long giving up one of his best friends, so that he in turn can be a good friend to someone. (and also do like the decent minimum thing etc. but it's not nothing)

[cardboardsean]

Alright, reporting for duty with the Beadick fangirl reaction to Vox Pops Part 2.

- Bea “feeling nostalgic”, absolutely watching old footage back because she misses Ben 🥺

- Imagine Bea watching the slap-fight footage, thinking, “god, he was right there. Not hours away, right there, close enough to touch. Past me didn’t even know what she had.” 💔

- Imagine Bea editing this and hearing Hero say “I think they love each other really” and feeling warm and fuzzy and thinking to herself that Hero was right. Bea and Ben love each other. That’s not changing with distance. She’s watching these clips to reassure herself!

- Bea putting in all the clips with Ben even though it meant she had to perceive and include Claudio. @alikwrites pointed this out, that it’s weird that she put in so much Claudio, but that it’s because Claudio’s moments are all with Ben and elevate Ben’s humor. I think getting to do a mean edit on Claudio was just a bonus for Bea, and the real reason she wanted to use these clips is of course because of Ben. She misses him so much.

- Bea posting this is a direct overture of “I miss you, I’m thinking about you”, but Ben probably just thinks she’s razzing him, by including the Bene-dick joke and the slap fight and everything. Their miscommunication is already happening.

- Ben answering the worst fear question with “I’m not afraid of anything”, because you can’t just come out and say that your worst fear is that everyone secretly hates you and you’re going to end up alone with no friends and no life. *hugs him*

- I love that at this point ten years ago, we were all still freaked out that Beadick might have broken up, and even when Ben posts RETURNS, there are comments on that video asking if he’s still with Bea. But we should’ve known they were still together just from the fact that she posted this, was feeling nostalgic in a pleasant way and included the “they love each other really” bit, and directed people to the Lolilo channel at the end here. Bea probably wouldn’t have done any of that if they were broken up already.

[cardboardsean]

and now, the post you've all been waiting for, benedick hobbes compared to birds

football antics ben and the rose-breasted grosbeak (male)

batman ben and the hooded crow

truth and olives ben and the western yellow robin

returns ben and the australian magpie

rules ben and the gang-gang cockatoo (male)

interview ben and the australian king parrot

break dem rules ben and the crimson rosella

[cardboardsean]

Now tbf. The way Pedro talks to Balthazar in vox pops part 2 is just about how i talked to everyone when i was 17. So i really cannot say shit. I think that was normal of him actually pedrazar cancelled

[cardboardsean]

Something about the juxtaposition of pre-relationship Pedrazar and pre-relationship Beadick in Vox Pops Part II. When Peter and Balth are crushing but not together yet, they can’t help but openly flirt, praise and compliment each other, play it off as a joke. When Ben and Bea are crushing but not together yet? Slap fight. Being fake aggressive is the only way they know to be close. It’s still flirting, but “I’m gonna pull your hair so you notice me” elementary school type flirting.

[cardboardsean]

[cardboardsean]

so is it too evil to talk about balth and pedro watching this video june 2015. bea sending it to pedro and pedro thinking that it's so beside the point of everything he trying to do right now to watch it but he can't help it and it genuinely makes him feel okay. at least for a moment he remembers that there is love there. and he looks at that person who still has so much ahead of him, who hasn't yet fallen, and he loves him a little bit too. but by that time he's feeling it all too much and all he can say is great video and he can't even sign it off from himself.

and balthazar watches it after ursula sends it to him with this pit in his stomach because it's not that that person is gone, not exactly, he knows that "you have a real name?" pedro was never really all there was but whatever they had. whatever was in the air between that let them be like that with each other, he can't find that anymore. and he's so lonely in wellington and he looks at that person who still has all his friends around him and this boy he really liked having a crush on. and he looks at the comments and he can't help but agree that it is a great video because it captured something he's not sure he'll ever have again

[cardboardsean]

i'm just obsessed with all the little moments of absolute crush hell (pos) balthazar is going through. pedro immediately giving a little wink to the camera. giving him little taps trying to get him to beatbox. playfighting. pedro staring at him while he has to come up with qualities in a partner. pedro staring at him the whole entire time (seriously every time balthazar opens his mouth pedro is GLUED). no comment. saying i feel a connection. immediately trying to come up with a pet name. realising he's failed miserably at making the pet name. dying inside. oh its okay you can call me what you like. yeah idk i have to just agree with your absolute natural charm. i wouldnt know though. would he actually swoon over me playing guitar... i know you love me. was that a normal thing to say. i love you i love you. yeah good. great eyes. FUCK. blue like your eyes. and then you tell him he's supposed to reveal his crush on camera. let the guy take a breath. youre killing him.

[cardboardsean]

people talk a lot of shit about small fandom. and i get it!! it would be fun if there was a constant stream of art and fic or whatever. but it's so fun being one of the 5-10 people who post about something. just us setting up our chairs yelling from our porches yet another day. we all know each other by weird nicks and know each others main deals. like of Course you said that. i bet you'd make that post. and somehow i've never thought about that thing you said and it's super insightful. and i love knwoing what you all think. it being small makes it a lot more direct and immediate, and everyone seems more like people than creators tm. it's fun it's cool it has something special.