cardinalemonpie

[cardinalemonpie]

She's mad as hell I'm crying hkjhdakh

[cardinalemonpie]

SHE LOOKS SO GOOD I'M GONNA THROW UP HSJKAHKASHKSAHKH THE SHORTS???? THE LIL NECK TIE ASCOT THING?? THE JACKET????

[cardinalemonpie]

[cardinalemonpie]

I've been trying to get into doing art so naturally the first thing i have to post is the exusiai and lemuen blues brothers parody poster. i pictured them with the "they'll never get caught. they're on a mission from god" tagline and spent ages trying to align their e0 arts and the original pose into a coherent narrative, create the correct lines with it, and color and layer the whole thing.

"what is lemuen's wheelchair sitting on" unimportant.

[cardinalemonpie]

They do not jkhdyf

Does anyone talk about Arturia's gloves 😭 cause my hc as of right now is it's more a mental thing for her to hold onto to keep her powers under control but like knowing AK there's like a passing line somewhere where she goes "oh yeah btw they totally actually control my arts lol" and I haven't seen it 😭

[cardinalemonpie]

drawing an exusiai on the same canvas every day until her alter releases on global: day 20

twenty exusiais.. and I have run out of official designs/outfits (except for her alter, which I'm saving for the final day). everything past this will be original designs, aus, or original alt outfits

[cardinalemonpie]

Does anyone talk about Arturia's gloves 😭 cause my hc as of right now is it's more a mental thing for her to hold onto to keep her powers under control but like knowing AK there's like a passing line somewhere where she goes "oh yeah btw they totally actually control my arts lol" and I haven't seen it 😭

[cardinalemonpie]

🤨🤨🤨🤨🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

[cardinalemonpie]

Lemart level 1: goddamn hot sankta ladies go brrr they should kiss maybe

Lemart level 5: actually yeah now that I think about it they're both mischievous but extremely dedicated to their personal goals and principles. Also their most important relationships are to their respective younger siblings

Lemart level 100: They both need to learn to understand themselves to achieve true empathy and in a way complete each other because Lemuen would accept Arturia despite it all and through that grow to understand Andoain more because his end goal is similar to hers but also in a way so completely different that this would hopefully help her learn to forgive him less and Lemuen's acceptance would allow Arturia to finally have someone to connect to outside of complicated schemes and shit that's not either out of her reach or ostracises/idolises her 😭😭😭 they'd intrigue each other so much and help further the other's remaining arc. I wasn't sure at first but after reading zwillingstrume I genuinely think you could write a very interesting romance between them that's more than just them fucking, there's enough narrative and thematic connections for that to make sense

Lemart level 9999: GODDAMN HOT SANKTA LADIES GO BRRR LEMUEN KISSING HER CHEEK MOLE ARTURIA SHOWING HERSELF TO LEMUEN THROUGH SONG LEMUEN'S HANDS RESTRAINED WHILE ARTURIA [REDACTED] HER [REDACTED] THEM HANGING OUT OUTSIDE OF WORK PRETENSES LEMUEN NOT FEELING SUFFOCATED BY ARTURIA'S COMPASSION BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS TO HER GAY SANKTA EMPATHY SEX WITH A DASH OF ARTURIA'S ARTS BODYGUARD TROPE

[cardinalemonpie]

I've been thinking recently about Theresa and the end of Ep14 and her creating Civilight Eterna, and the question of like: Was she aware of the consequences of her actions? That doing so would extremely fuck up her loved ones, Kal'tsit most of all? The more I think about it the more I come to think that the answer is "yes, but she did it anyway."

Her behavior at the end of EP14 is kind of insane because like, despite how willing she is personally to sacrifice herself for the good of the future and how she tells Kal'tsit "My dear Kal'tsit, since we're all clear about our respective endings, why should we go through sorrow yet again?", at the same time she's like not really willing to let go either. (Think about how the moment she is out of sight, she goes on a mad scramble throughout time itself because she needs so, so, so desperately to know, if she can't have anything else, that her loved ones are ok. She says one thing, but then does another.)

Despite the path that she had chosen and her determination and willingness to see it through, at the end of it all she still doesn't want to go, she is still the person who listened in wonder to Kal'tsit as she told her stories about Terra, the world outside of Kazdel that she wanted to but never got to see, she is still the one who wanted to be able to hold Amiya and read her bedtime stories and assuage her of her nightmares, she is still the one who wanted to be there for her loved ones, in whatever form she can.

And despite all her willingness to sacrifice, and the selflessness of almost all her deeds, she is still in many ways a selfish person (which she acknowledges herself). This is one of the central contradictions of her character, that despite her selflessness, she is characterized majorly by a few specific, extremely, extremely selfish choices of such enormity that they arguably outweigh all of her selflessness. She passed on the crown to a 10 year old child (and Theresa knew Amiya would accept, since she is like that, even though it's not a question that Amiya could given an actual, non-coerced answer to) because so believed she could carry on her ideals, she erased the Doctor's memories both to free them from the shackles of their past, but also to shape them into the person she wanted them to be to best carry out her ideals.

There is such a delightful hypocrisy to this. She, in some sense, wanted desperately, in that selfish core of hers, more than anything else, was to live a life where she was free from the burdens of the past and the shackles of fate, but she still forced that onto Amiya. At the end of Babel, she is walking toward her literal death, but she is still vaguely aware of how death works for the Sarkaz, that she will return to the Originium but still exist in some form, and so she is still hopeful about this: "it's time to say goodbye… we'll meet again in the future won't we… Kal'tsit… Amiya… Doctor." But this time, it really is the end for her, after this there will be nothing left of her, it is a total and complete annihilation of the self. (Which, the thing about this is that like, she deleted the Doctor's identity and subjected them to this, but is unwilling and scared to go through it herself). Despite her virtues and her selflessness, despite what she tells Kal'tsit about partings and endings, she is scared.

The thing about Theresa is that she is a hypocrite, but she is a hypocrite in a highly specific and interesting way. If you pay attention to depictions of Theresa throughout the story, she is someone who believes that fate can be overcome, that the cycle of violence can be broken, except when it comes to specifically herself, for which she is incredibly, incredibly pessimistic, and believes that she's a failure and was unable to break free from her fate. ("To change a man is to make them believe, to make them believe is to destroy their faith, nothing can save such a lost soul.", "But yet, there is no antidote to loneliness, there is no end to nomadic wandering, there is no cure to a terminal illness..." etc.) This is why she's willing to do what she does in Ep14, intentionally choosing to perpetuate the cycle of violence and inflict suffering on other people for the ends of her (and her people) and this something that she fully acknowledges and is perfectly ok with doing in Ep14 even though she could have just like, not. She chooses to act against her ideals because she is a failure, a victim of fate, the sacrifice on top of which the future will be built, an obstacle that the true idealists must and will overcome. She is a hypocrite because she believes that Amiya/the Doctor/Kal'tsit are better people than her, that they are capable of doing what she isn't, and so she is willing to subject them to standards that she doesn't apply to herself.

She can't bear the idea that this is it, that there will be no more of her left, and is willing to do anything to assuage this, and so she makes CE, so she can linger and be there for her loved ones in whatever form possible. I think in this there is a conscious understanding that doing this will hurt her loved ones, and especially Kal'tsit most of all. It's not something she wants to do, but she thinks of Amiya/the Doctor/Kal'tsit as better people than her. She is deliberately doing something that will hurt them yes, but they are strong, and will get through this, like they always have. But herself? She is scared, she has nothing left and soon she will be nothing at all. And so (like she always has), she chooses to go out with one last moment of selfishness.

[cardinalemonpie]

POOKKKIIIEEEEEEE

[cardinalemonpie]

The fact imma lowkey end up writing fiamos probably is hilarious but Fia dicking down Mos is important I think

[cardinalemonpie]

Wondering what exactly Exu would call Lem because "soror" doesn't sound as affectionate and there's so many differing opinions on what the affectionate for sister is in Esperanto?? Ig we'll see what yostar decides to localise it as for now I will probably use "franjo"

[cardinalemonpie]

Another Arturia thing I'm extremely curious about is the shape of her halo?

It very much looks like a crown? So I wonder is it tied to her codename "Virtuosa" as in she's the queen of music since she excells at it??? Cause Fede's halo also says quite a lot about him and her set of wings and halo are literally what appear in the terra facts while they talk about personality tests??

[cardinalemonpie]

literally made this blog cause of this tweet

Lemuen tracing all the edges of Arturia's halo as Arturia eats her out and trying so hard not to just tug her up so she can kiss her would go so fucking crazy. And I like the idea that halo touching is especially intimate because there's an intense physical sensation sure but it could act as like a tether between the physical and emotional so it'd all resonate in both your body and soul at the same time.

Maybe Arturia actually does it to Lemuen first and Lemuen is kinda like ??? because most people don't actually touch each others halos during sex when it's a casual thing but ofc Arturia wants to feel EVERYTHING and that's one of the first times Lemuen like genuinely gets how much empathy means to her??