carlaautida

[carlaautida]

29 years of existence. <3 Strong and bold. She is me.

[carlaautida]

A day before my comprehensive exam

Hello there!

it's been a long time since I write a message here. I've been so busy lately a lot things happened this past few months. it's exactly 12:00am today of June 08 it's funny how fast the time is, I just want to release all my worries here. I hope this will help me more feel at ease cause I feel lost again. I'm dealing with my procrastination behavior that's why my plans and goals are being delayed but this month I started to regain my consciousness and it's about time to take full responsibility to what I've set on my mind on the first place and that's to finish my MBA program. I hope my thesis journey could be more gentle and favorable to my schedule and other responsibility. I wish I could finish everything this year and graduate next year. I feel left behind cause I stop for one year because of conflicts at my work. I should've take my compre last year, I should've furnish my thesis right now, I supposed to graduate this year but I'm not. I took up summer class just to be in advance. My timeline does not work according to my plans. I want to cry, really really hard. I just want to be proud of myself cause I've come this far but end up disappointed. I wish I could tell this to anyone, someone who will feel me and pat my head and say "Everything will be alright, just trust the process you'll get there". Am I too confident? am I overreacting? do I really need to be seen and validated? Can I rest? I'm really tired sometimes, I envy people that they don't need to prove anything just to be respected. I hope I could back to the time when I can be gentle and kind to myself. To the little child inside me, please hang in there, I promise your waiting season will be worth it and your future will be bright as you are. I hope you'll be more grateful and humble when you get there.

-Carleng

[carlaautida]

Motivation

Hey there!,

It's me again, today I'm 3 mins late hehe I don't know what happened I just felt like that I'm not in the mood to wake up early this morning so I decided to stay on my bed for about 25 mins right after my alarm have rang. As usual routine, I had my shower in the morning, good perfume and perfect cat eye, and then listening to music on my way. I though I would be 30 mins late since it's Monday today but guess what I'm still lucky haha you really never know the outcome until it happens. Fate is something you can't control but you can always ask Him to have a good one. Anyway, about my caption while on my way, I just wondering what keeps me motivated, the reasons why I'm still hustling and keeps me fighting in life then suddenly I remembered I have goals, dreams and plans that waits for me a long the way. My life isn't about being just a mere employee, I have this feeling of one day I'll be in the situation that I prayed for, the life that I deserved- peaceful and beautiful.

Sometimes you just have to be reminded for you to keep focus and motivated.

Carla

[carlaautida]

Staying calm and strong

Hi there,

It's me again, I just want to write things here that happened this week. I thought everything will be fine and will go back to normal if I'll be the one who would reach out first and say sorry even though is not even my fault in the first place. I'm trying to be modest and live my life at peace but these things are not going on its way. Am I still living with my past issues? am I still carrying burden from the past or its just the negativity that won't go away. I did everything I could to be a better person-physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally , to refrain from getting abuse and hurt. I know I deserve to be happy and have the life that I want but life is so unfair sometimes. When all I want is to be a better version of myself. I even tried to stick on my values and principles that's why I'm still single. Am I dreams are to good to be true or just wrong circle of friends and situations? I don't have any- go to person but I wish I had someone I can share with my achievements and future plans. Someone I can ask opinions without invalidating mine. Someone I can have as my support system and will cheer me up when I felt down and confused about life. Don't get me wrong I don't want to be in a relationship right now but I want someone who exactly just like me who's being strong for so long, still never give up and always looked for a change. Someone who has beautiful scars that turns to be an inspirational for everyone. Hopefully will meet this person soon, I'm so excited to keep that person and make our life changed and peace.

-Carla

[carlaautida]

Monday, Sep 18, 2023

It's my first day in tumblr. I created this because I want to share my thoughts and what's happening in my day to day life. I hope this would help me to be a better and smart person.

Cheers to us who's doing great and being kind to everyone!

#Independent #single #strongwoman #gemini #mondaythoughts