carlanio

[carlanio]

who else just wants to fuck off and living in animal crossing. my neighbor is a bird. i sold three pieces of fruit and bought a sofa with the profit. caught butterflies for two straight hours. my debt exists but the debtor literally doesn’t give a single flying fuck. i wanna go drink coffee at a cafe where it’s served to me by a Gentle pigeon. everyone is happy like 99% of the time unless you whack em with a net or something idk

[carlanio]

STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING!!!!!

this is a rare picture of Law smiling!

reblog in 37 seconds and u will be blessed with good luck and fortune

[carlanio]

[carlanio]

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

[carlanio]

The Department of Extraordinary Lobsters is putting on their Giant Lobster Claws to celebrate the discovery of this magical moon lobster, recently caught by fisherman off the coast of Maine. The pearlescent lobster, whose enchanting coloring is most likely the result of leucism, was thrown back into the sea after the fisherman discovered she was a lady lobster.

[via The Mary Sue]

[carlanio]

today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”

[carlanio]

Defend DACA

[carlanio]

Why do you like sharks?

[carlanio]

this is a massive step forward for renewable energy (x) | follow @the-future-now

[carlanio]

people who are afraid of snakes are fuckin’ WILD, like dude, just carefully step over these fat babies’ sausage bodies and gently move the burmese python chillin’ against the door, then you become unfathomably rich. i would do this for $10. i would do this for FREE. 

[carlanio]

my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she’s really fat and doesn’t know when she’s full so she never stops eating. usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet. but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn’t loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter. so I called the vet pissed and i’m just like the fuck she’s still getting fat. so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn’t work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like I God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocent mind) well y'all ready here’s the fucking climax - the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin. with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I’m in class and then pretends like she’s hungry when I get home. and you know what’s the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she’s fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain to him how I, a well educated adult in college, got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat

[carlanio]

just incase yall were interested in whats happenin on FL fb right now

[carlanio]

Comedian and vlogger Elijah Daniel became mayor of Hell, Michigan, proceeded to ban all heterosexuals, and then was impeached. This singlehandedly saved 2017

[carlanio]

This Man Found A Wrestling Loophole And Now He’s Invincible

[carlanio]

I wonder if jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish

[carlanio]

When dogs make eye contact with you and start wagging their tail, then you start talking to them and they wag it harder

Reblog if u agree