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WIP First Lines Tag Game

Thank you @coffeeandcalligraphy​ for tagging me!! I have been very bad at this blog lately (oops) but this is a good reminder to get back to it!

Rules: Share the first line (or first few lines) of each chapter of your current manuscript! Feel free to skip chapters to avoid spoilers, and you can do as many chapters as you want!

Doing this for Honey Vinegar since Holding a Ghost has like 700 chapters and we’re only 30k in, it���s excessive. The 1st draft is done so this is the whole book (minus a few spoilers)!

Ch. 1 - HOLY WATER

My mother named me, and then I didn’t see her for thirteen years. 

Ch. 2 - SACRED SISTER

Everyone would remember the summer of 1955. 

Ch. 3 - ANIMAL BONES

When I went back to school that September, every other child and teen in the conjoined elementary-high school—a three room building that four towns in the area shared—was ill. 

Ch. 4 - COUGH MEDICINE

That winter, gossip and plague rivalled for most infectious force in town. 

Ch. 5 - SLAUGHTER SEASON

The first day after [name]’s death was quiet. 

Ch. 6 - FEEBLE SPECIES

Once it had quieted outside and the sun hung half-up in a smoky dawn, I pulled myself out of bed and bumped down the loft ladder while sitting, a long break after each rung. 

Ch. 7 - WINTER GREEN

I was collecting eggs from the one chicken who hadn’t been killed and left bloody in front of our greenhouse when Teresa sat in the mulch across from me. 

Ch. 8 - BAD APPLES

(1st paragraph is a spoiler so this is the start of the 2nd paragraph)

I’d been collection change by selling cider jugs nestled in paper bags to the boys who came in from the logging camps. 

Ch. 9 - WAR DOLL

Anoushka and Aleksei Zaytzev arrived that April and no one noticed. 

Ch. 10 - TOY SOLIDER

We spent the summer of 1956 barefoot in the grass. 

Ch. 11 - MERCY KILL

Aleksei came to the farmhouse past midnight. 

Ch. 12 - SOOTH SAY

Summer faded like the snuffing of a candle. 

Ch. 13 - PAGAN KING

I never fixed the greenhouse, didn’t have the money to so had left it to overgrow, eat itself from the belly out. 

Ch. 14 - HUNTING GROUND

The sky was the colour of bone. 

Ch. 15 - BONE SPLINT

At Silas’s, I sat at the kitchen table, the room glossed by kerosene lamps, and bit my jacket sleeve while he twisted my shoulder back into place. 

Ch. 16 - BLOOD MOON

A full moon winked between the pines as I crept through the woods, towards the town square. 

Ch. 17 - BUCK KNIFE

The years passed like this:

Ch. 18 - RADIO STATIC

oops spoilers :)

Ch. 19 - PLAGUE RAT

October whittled towards November to the sound of Whisper’s voice murmuring through a pane of electricity. 

Ch. 20 - MINE BIRD

I spent a lot of my exile wondering if I was capable of love. 

Ch. 21 - PIG FEED

Rain trilled against the pine boughs and dusted the grass, each orb glittering like a fish eye. 

Ch. 22 - HEMLOCK HANDS

(1st sentence is a spoiler so here’s the 2nd)

Wind wailed through the valley like a coyote pup. 

Ch. 23 - SILENT PROPHET

spoilers :)

Tagging @maxgraybooks @jaydewritesfiction @mp-golfin and @avakrahn if you’re feeling up to it!

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WIP UPDATE: Paradise is Made of Burned Bodies

I have resorted to outlining an act and then writing it instead of writing all acts and then writing afterwards. 

So far, I have Act One nailed down, and I’m loving its direction. I’m going to write the component chapters, then that’s where I’ll outline Act 2. 

What I fear most about writing this novel is basically that I believe it’s going to be so many things all at once (It has elements of folklore in it with a touch of horror, plus a romance), and I need to figure out how to balance all those things out so that they’re cohesive and still work in unison to make sense. 

And I think I might retitle somewhere along the process, because right now I think the title is too long and it doesn’t really capture the story’s mood. 

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The Causal Chain And Why Your Story Needs It

The most obnoxious thing my writing teacher taught me every story needed, that I absolutely loathed studying in the moment and that only later, after months of resisting and fighting realized she was right, was something called the causal chain.

Simply put, the causal chain is the linked cause-and-effect that must logically connect every event, reaction, and beat that takes place in your story to the ones before and after.

The Causal Chain is exhausting to go through. It is infuriating when someone points out that an event or a character beat comes out of nowhere, unmoored from events around it.

It is profoundly necessary to learn and include because a cause-and-effect chain is what allows readers to follow your story logically which means they can start anticipating what happens next, which is what is required for a writer to be able to build suspense and cognitively engage the audience, to surprise them, and to not infuriate them with random coincidences that hurt or help the characters in order to clumsily advance the author's goals.

By all means, write your story as you want to write it in the first draft, and don't worry about this principle too much. This is an editing tool, not a first draft tool. But one of the first things you should do when retroactively begin preparing your story to be read by others is going step by step through each event and confirming that a previous event leads to it and that subsequent events are impacted by it on the page.

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It’s good to be back in NYC 🥲

http://instagram.com/herbcoil

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bodies of water: the creative prompt for july at the orangery literary society 🍊

summer is a fifteen minute walk away by @sealavender / bathers, judianne grace / pool weather by daisy chains (@thedaisygothic) / x / mother river's lullaby by violet boueux (@violetboueux) / eliya ca / taking the sea by @linkedsoul / ocean of tears, caroline polachek / un-poeming by jaq / zeng wu for wallpaper china / riverbed aubade by ieva dapkevicius (@chaliceandsword) / x

transcripts, image descriptions, and tag list below.

[ID: a compilation of poems interspersed with photographs on the theme of water.

1. poem excerpt: "we sink into the waters, unclean, / unafraid, sloughing off our reality and / revealing creatures of make-believe, / creatures that slink beneath the surface and / grasp at tadpoles and berry soft skin"

2. photo: three girls swimming in dark waters dotted by raindrops.

3. poem excerpt: "but that sparkling blue / sings out my name, / and then i am in it, / under it, part of it, / and i am weightless / and free."

4. photo: the reflection on a puddle of a woman standing against a blue sky is disrupted by the ripples of raindrops.

5. poem excerpt: "settled in the riverbed, i watch / silver minnows shooting / overhead like stars / mud puppies curled at my feet // crayfish tuck me in / my soul settles like the silt around me / i take one more deep breath / and finally i rest"

6. photo: an arm and upturned hand graze the surface of rippling golden waters.

7. poem excerpt: "In English we set sail, but in French we take the sea; like the sea is something we hold between our mortal hands before we push our boats into the water."

8. photo: a woman's back is seen from above. she wears white; her hair is braided and loose wet tendrils fall over her back like fishbones. her arm is outstretched, scrubbing the ground covered in soapy suds.

9. poem excerpt: "This is not a place for poetry. / The ocean crests two or / three times, the ribboned structure / piecing apart upon the sand. / She wants a beer that doesn't / taste like beer and I want / our shadows to stop linking over / each other along the pale silver foam."

10. photo: the back of a woman's head, dark hair in two plaits that float in greenish-tinted pool water. she is submerged below her shoulders.

11. poem excerpt: "Among water-snakes I swam, thoughtless and free, / eyes open in the cold and green and mute undertow, / and I could not tell you whether I was myself, at last, / or the furthest thing from myself I could possibly be. // In the deepest wellsprings of my soul, I am still there. / I have yet to come up for air."

12. photo: a dark blue forest pool among dark green treetops and stalks of grass in the foreground. the photo is edited for a grainy look, and the sky and the pool appear to glow white; a human silhouette of pure white glowing light appears to walk through the water, submerged up to the thighs. /end ID]

tag list: @yoshitomonarapfp @deathvsthemaiden @bies-from-wildland @fiveelephantswithbaobabs @muddyviolets

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3 Tips for Writing an Escape Scene

1. Foreshadow how your hero will escape.

Some escape scenes feel contrived because the hero’s method of escape comes out of nowhere—an ally shows up to rescue them, the villain makes an out-of-character, careless mistake. (This isn’t to say your hero can never be rescued, or the villain can never make mistakes, but they should make sense within the story.)

One way to make escape scenes more realistic is to have the hero prepare. Perhaps the hero, knowing capture was possible, hid a tool on their person that would come in handy later. Perhaps they informed their allies of what might happen. This method isn’t always possible, but it can definitely make your hero’s plan feel more fleshed out.

To leave some surprise, you don’t have to fully reveal how your hero prepared for capture, but there should be some sort of hint.

Another method is to have the hero use their pre-established strengths, or the villain’s pre-established weaknesses, to their advantage. Does your cunning hero know what the villain wants more than anything? Perhaps that knowledge could help them trick the villain.

Not only does foreshadowing make escape scenes more realistic, but it also helps your narrative choices feel intentional. It makes the hero’s escape meaningful to their character.

2. Your hero’s plan should work…partially.

An escape with no unexpected hurdles will likely seem both too easy, and boring.

Your hero might trigger a hidden alarm. They might plan to meet up with an ally, only to find—upon arrival—that the ally is MIA. They might injure themself in the hazardous environment from which they’re escaping.

These pitfalls will again add realism, but also a key element of escape scenes: suspense. Your hero will be forced to think on their feet, and adapt their plan as to not be recaptured.

3. Use short sentences, and zoom in on your hero’s perspective.

Both of these strategies will bring the reader closer to the hero, and the adrenaline they’re experiencing. Short sentences create a sense of urgency.

To “zoom in on your hero’s perspective,” imagine the escape through their eyes—literally.

For example:

“He dashed past the dark trees.”

Can become:

“As he ran, the trees morphed into dark blurs around him.”

The imagery of your writing becomes more vivid when you consider not just the hero’s actions, but how they’re perceived by the hero. In this case, putting the reader in the hero’s shoes can amp up the intensity of the scene.

Thanks for reading! Remember that these are just general tips, and you should always consider the context of your story.

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Paradise is Made of Burned Bodies || WIP Introduction

[image description: the hollowed-out ruins of an old brick building with tall windows, with text reading “paradise is made of burned bodies”]

“There is no weapon against cruelty, against warped minds and warped souls.” -Pacita Pestaño Jacinto

CONCEPT

Pitch: After a broken statue of the Virgin Mary is found along the Intramuros banks of the Pasig River, Anacleto Guevarra, the son of a wealthy city councilor, and Mariano Arguelles, an apprentice to his father’s sculpting business, find themselves amidst a city that views the finding of the statue as a frightful omen of war. As the tension of the situation escalates and the two young men fight to keep their peace, everything will start to crumble, and they must find out what they are willing to let go of so as not to be buried under the rubble -- even if it means turning away from all they could be. 

Setting: I chose the setting of 1941-1945 Manila, because I guess when we learn about World War II history in the West, we have an infinite amount of resources to choose from. But when it comes to countries like mine, The Philippines, there’s not much attention given to what really transpired during that era, and so I rummaged through a bookshop and found a ~very~ old tome (by old i mean, girl, the sides were BROWN) and it was a book on The Battle of Manila, a month-long battle (Feb 3 - March 3, 1945) that turned into a massacre that lead to the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians. 

And then I thought, “Yeah. Yeah, that’s the story. This has to be more known.”

From the setting alone, y’all know this isn’t going to be full of rainbows and tumblr girl sitting out in the sun vibes. It’s apparently the exact opposite <3 

CHARACTERS

ANACLETO 

- Photographer | Artistic | “Wow ur eyes” -Mariano, always, probably | Probably wants to hug u but is too stoic and ~reserved~ but he does wanna hug u | Pomade | Smells amazing like he always smells like lemon | **Gay panic** | Daddy issues | Mommy issues as well | Detail-oriented | “Am I good enough yet?” x 100 |

MARIANO

- Sculptor Apprentice | Rules: “hi”, Mariano: “yeah, no.” | Hardworking | “I’ll laugh when you trip on a flat surface because I love u” | Little sister: **is just existing**, Mariano: **protects** | Ex-sacristan | Mr. Congeniality | Will probably be a Valorant player if he were Gen Z | **Gay Panic, but keep ur cool keep ur cool** | Mariano: >:(, Hot Chocolate: :), Mariano: :DDDDDD

So what does this book mean to you?

This book is actually already 4 years old, taking different forms across those years. It started out as Rosario, a short story that I wrote after a night of teen angst and pining (I was a very troubled 15-year-old). And then Rosario transformed for a second draft, then I decided to turn it into a novel that I titled Veneracion, which I started outlining last year, but stopped because ahah mental health and school <3 screw it <3 and now I’m retitling it (hence this title which I’m kinda loving right now), revamping all that I though the story was, and I’ve decided to let go of the perfectionism that has plagued this process and has led it to a halt so many times before. I’ll go through this entire journey w/o backtracking anymore. I’ll finish this, and it might take years, but I do hope I’ll finish this. 

I believe in this story so much because it’s full of the stuff I gravitate towards when I read other fiction: the unhinged, the gayᵀᴹ, the tragic, the hopeful. As someone who mourns the fact that queer history is something so undiscussed, I could only imagine what gay people in a time of war and rampant homophobia must’ve felt about their lives. A buried story underneath another buried story of war. 

It needs LOTS. AND LOTS. AND LOTS. AND LOTS. of research. I don’t plan on rushing through this, because I know I have to be meticulous to give justice to the narrative. But I’m driven to pull it off.

CHARACTER ART BY MY FRIEND, SOLANA. DM me if you wanna contact her for commissions :D

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PSA: if you ever see me do a tag and I say “tagging whoever wants to do it,” and you think “she probably doesn’t mean me, though.” I do. I mean you. Say I tagged you. I want to read your stuff, I promise. Tagging people just takes Energy that I don’t always have and am not always sure who wants to be tagged. But please, if you ever see me do a game, and you think “wow I want to do that!” Even if I do tag other people, just do it. Say I tagged you. I will not mind, in fact, I will be happy to see your stuff. Ok? Good. That is all. Carry on.

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some random redemption arcs that aren’t just ‘zuko, but a little to the left’

I’m evil but all my evil friends betrayed me and I’ve decided that the best revenge is to ruin their evil plans. Yes, this means I’m a “good guy” or whatever. No, I don’t like it any more than you do.

I was evil but all my evil friends betrayed me and now I’m going to latch onto the first person who shows me kindness. If that happens to be the protagonist, I am totally fine with realigning my morality to match theirs.

I never wanted to do what I did, and now the biggest obstacle to me switching sides is convincing me that I’m not a living weapon.

Well as long as you’re imprisoning me in this magic amulet I might as well give you pointers on your technique. I mean come on if you all die I might be stuck here for millennia! It’s not because I like you and don’t want you to die. Nuh uh.

Look, I legit thought that being evil was going to be my best option to get this important thing done, but, uh, that didn’t pan out. Help?

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My very favorite trope though

When characters A and B are facing some danger and character A puts out an arm to protect character B

Good variations:

-Character B doesn’t realize the danger until character A puts out his or her arm -Character A isn’t the larger or stronger character but still takes responsibility for character B’s safety -Character A doesn’t stand a chance against the danger -Character A continues talking like there isn’t anything wrong while standing between character B and the threat -Character A doesn’t get along with character B and/or vice versa -The danger is comically minor -Character A has seemed helpless or bumbling but is now revealing inner depths and hidden strength

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some writing advice nobody asked for

- figure out why you write. is it a hobby? is it something you want to become your career? do you have intentions of going to print? then you'll have a better idea of what advice you need.

- experiment with scheduling versus writing whenever you fancy it. i'm reading on writing by stephen king right now for uni and he says that he sets himself a goal of writing 2,000 words a day. he gives a lot of good advice about writing but i won't put it all here because then it won't be my writing advice lol, but one thing he says is to get into a room with a closed door and no distractions (unplug the tv, turn off your phone/wifi etc), sit down, and do not leave that room until you have your 2,000 words. i did this in the final week of writing my novel and it worked wonders, even though i'm not usually the kind of person to start a writing session with a wc goal in mind!

- don't show people the first draft. this exists solely for you. show them the second, or maybe the third. the first draft's job is just to exist, not to be by any means brilliant. don't introduce unnecessary pressure or doubt by showing people the rough work (unless obviously this is your agent/editor because it's kind of what your job together is)

- try not to get too bogged down by the driving plot or clear arcs/ideas at first. people will tell you different things, so really it's about figuring out what works with your personal writing style, but in my experience i start with a vague idea or atmosphere, maybe a character or two. when i start with a central plot point (i.e. "i want this group of students to end up involved in a murder"), even if i do stick to that, the plot will grow and expand itself as you write. what began as the big, main, central part, becomes just one little part of a huge, rich plot. it's true when people say that books like to write themselves - your final draft will most likely look absolutely nothing like your original plan or even your whole first draft, and that's what i absolutely love about the craft.

- and finally, listen to more radiohead. alternately put "something in the way" by nirvana on loop. just trust me.

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Find the word tag #2

Thank you for tagging me @finch-goes-write!

All from Seventh Virtue!

TREE:

Foster insists plant shopping will cure his heartbreak. They look at all different types: dragon trees, ferns, dumb canes, pothos.

We see the Lisa Fernie Ernie cameo <3

SMOKE:

In the belly of the fire, the thing that burns brightest are the eyes. Cyan rippling like they’re their own two flames, puncturing the orange heat. At first, Harrison can’t find himself. He’s just a wisp of smoke, veiling the embers—he’s just a blade of grasp crumbling to ash.

RED:

TW: gore

His pinkies cover two versions of the Queen of Hearts. In one, she is headless, dripping at her gashed neck, and in the next, her eyeballs are made of red roses.

^^ the explanation for this is that Harrison and Foster ~thrifted this cool table that’s decoupaged with old decks of playing cards and sealed with resin on its surface. I want it!!!

SHOE:

Harrison talking to Lonan:

He pointed to the shoes. “These are last season, and clearly fake.”

takedown of the season

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A snippet from my most recent short fiction piece, “Take My Hand When The Tide Recedes”. I plan to have it published somewhere, maybe a Y.A. Literary Magazine because the vibe and theme of the piece is much lighter than the rest of my pieces. 

Updates to come on the publication! (Or not,,,Hahaha)

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you don’t need purity in the material you consume

you have a brain, you are capable of critical thinking, you can sift through the material and keep what is edifying for you and discard what isn’t

flaws don’t necessarily make material worthless

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workshopping a YA novel where the government divides everyone into social classes based on whether they like cilantro or think it tastes like soap